


Élan

by WriterfortheTylwythTeg



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Deaf Carla Jaeger, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fairytale elements, Fantasy elements, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, MERMAID LORE, Marine Biologist Eren, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, True Love's Kiss, and then to friends again, mermaid levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-08 06:22:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 187,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12858645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterfortheTylwythTeg/pseuds/WriterfortheTylwythTeg
Summary: Eren is a graduate student who, after getting out of an abusive relationship, has sworn he will never love again. He's doing an internship at the Sina Aquarium, a rescue and rehabilitation center for aquatic animals, and the only aquarium rumored to have a mermaid, determined to study the elusive creatures. He soon finds out that it's no rumor, and that the mermaid, rescued from a water amusement park where he was abused for over a decade, is just as broken as he is. However, gaining the trust of the creature who has tried (and in a few cases, succeeded) to kill any human who has ever entered his tank is not going to be easy.But it turns out that their shared pain is in fact the driving force that pulls them together, and that their bond may be more life-changing than either of them can fathom.





	1. Prologue: Where the Cliff Greets the Sea

" _The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." – Jacques Costeau_

If one asked Eren Jaeger's parents, they would tell you that as sweet and romantic as their wedding had been, and as passionate and fiery as their resulting honeymoon was thereafter, their love was merely a glowing ember compared to the roaring inferno that seemed to burn in their son from that very first moment he laid eyes on the sea.

It started when Eren had just learned how to walk, and they had taken him to the summer home Grisha owned by the beach. They had put the little boy in swim trunks, placed him in the sand, and immediately his eyes had locked with the water. Without even hesitating, he made a beeline towards it, tripping a few times on his unsteady, stubby legs, but never giving up on his goal. His parents snickered behind their hands. Even when he reached the water, the new sensation didn't even cause him to hesitate and adjust to it like other toddlers might. Hell, he had been afraid of grass up until just a few months ago, holding his feet above it and screeching whenever anyone tried to lower him towards it, so they thought water would scare him half to death. But nope, he just kept going, giggling like mad, arms extended and hands grabbing for the waves that kept crashing up onto the shore. They had promptly run over and scooped him up just as the water was about to reach his chest, laughing to cover up the heart attack he had nearly given them.

When they did finally get him in the water and started swimming with him, Carla and Grisha swore they had never seen their son's eyes light up so much. Everything was fantastic to him, new and exciting, and he played in the water like he had discovered heaven on Earth. When they took him out as the sun started to go down, he had cried and thrown a fit afterwards, calmed only when they promised he could go back in the next day.

Over the years, they returned faithfully to that beach house every summer, and every summer, Eren's love for the water only seemed to grow. It took him no time to become a strong swimmer, and the fish and creatures he encountered fascinated him to no end, seeming only to encourage him further. Carla used to joke that he had never had blood in his veins, but seawater. And therefore, it didn't surprise either of his parents at all when he declared during dinner one night when he mentioned that at school they had to write a short paper on what they wanted to be when they grew up and why, and declared that he wanted to study the ocean.

"Really?" Grisha had asked, sounding surprised, "I thought you were thinking of becoming a doctor like your old man."

Eren had shaken his head adamantly, and declared while signing at the same time, "I want to see all of the ocean! And you know all of those places that people say are too deep to dive down into? I'm going to be the first one. I'm going to see things no one has ever seen before."

Grisha had shrugged, ruffled his hair, and said, "I figured as much. Well, if that's what you want, we'll help you get there."

Carla had nodded proudly and kissed him on the forehead.

Then, just a few weeks later, the breaking story on the news had appeared that changed Eren's goals and course of action forever.

"Experts have confirmed that the creature captured in Trost Sound was indeed the long fabled cryptid countless authors from across the ages have referenced in their writings," the news on the t.v was saying, "Though no scientific name has been settled on for them as of yet, we know them most famously as mermaids."

Eren watched with rapt attention, his eyes widening with every word spoken. Ever since the new had come out about the possible mermaid a week ago, he had been on the edge of his seat, hoping that it wouldn't be another hoax. He could barely believe what he was hearing.

"Of course it's not a real mermaid," his father had said back then, "It'll be a fake just like all the others I'm afraid. I wouldn't get my hopes up, Eren."

"But we learned in science class yesterday that the surface of the moon has been explored more times than the deep ocean," Eren pointed out, "and you're going to tell me mermaids can't be real?"

But now, his every hope was coming true right in front of his eyes. Immediately, he turned to both of his parents, so excited that he forgot to sign so that his mother could understand him, and exclaimed, "That's what I'm going to do! I want to study mermaids!"

While his mother, only half understanding him, signed, _"You want to what?"_ his father simply shrugged and said, "Sure. It would be great to see you as one of the pioneers of the field on mermaids."

Eren had grinned hugely at that, euphoric beyond comprehension at his encouragement.

However, that had been years ago, and of course there were updates on the field of mermaid science. Human history had to be rewritten, and truthfully it was extremely difficult to cultivate information on them, as mermaids were very elusive. Scientists mostly had to rely on legends, and that in itself was counterproductive. However, Eren devoured every piece of information he came across, which also wasn't much, considering that most of it was still considered classified, all the while dreaming of being able to add to it someday. However, what he had come across he studied just as much if not more so than what he was supposed to be studying in school.

First off, scientists had found that all of the specimens they had recovered had been female, leading them to wonder where the males of the species were. They also noticed that they were social, as remains of mermaids were often found together, and this high sociability, combined with the complex vocalization recordings they had collected revealed that they were intelligent. In fact, this level of intelligence had only been seen in humans and dolphins. This fact was only proven further by the company they seemed to keep, which were mostly dolphins of all different species, as well as pods of whales. It wasn't known how much they associated with the dolphins and whales though, or for what purpose. They were evidently also attracted to shiny objects, as it wasn't uncommon to see them wearing necklaces or even something in their hair with a reflective shell or a gemstone embedded in it. Not surprising, since shiny objects generally meant fish, which meant food. And most interesting, besides their normal vocalizations, just as the legends from the sailors claimed, they sang. Scientists had only heard it from afar, but they described the mermaid's song as truly haunting and beautiful, foreboding and comforting all at once. It was said to raise goosebumps on the skin while also drawing the person who heard it into a state of bliss, almost causing them to lose control of the higher functions of their minds without even being aware of it, a truly terrifying sensation.

"It's like being drunk and getting behind the wheel," one scientist described it, "You're thinking you're okay to drive, and your body goes through the motions on autopilot, but your mind is completely gone without you even knowing it."

However, despite being able to describe the sensation accurately, they couldn't for the life of them figure out what purpose the singing served. Only that it, for some reason, only seemed to affect the male scientists, while the women remained clear headed. But even the more frightening facts drew the little boy in. In fact, they seemed to draw him in more than the not so frightening ones did, because he wanted to find out why they were so.

But now, nine year old Eren stood on the familiar earth of what he considered to be his home away from home. It was just the beginning of summer, their beach house was several hundred yards behind him, and the beach itself was spread below him several hundred yards down. It was very early in morning, so early that the stars in the sky were mingling with the pink dawn light, and his parents were still in bed asleep. But truthfully, he was so excited to be here after waiting all year once more to see it, that he found it impossible to sleep. And honestly, these mornings where he could be by himself and explore was his favorite time of the time day. He took in a deep breath, allowing the heavy, humid, salty air to flood his sinuses once more and root him. The seagulls were calling out over his head, and the waves were crashing against the bottom of the cliff he was currently standing on top of. His hair was fluttering past his face as the wind blew it, and the overly long grass tickled his bare legs.

Eren found himself fingering the pendant he wore, pulling it away from where it sat on his chest and holding it up to the dawn light. He smiled, wishing he had his mom's phone so he could take a picture. The necklace had been a present from his parents for his birthday this year, and it was a black, braided cord that held up a chunk of aquamarine. Not only was it his birthstone, but it was the color of the sea in the Caribbean. Even more special, it was rumored to be a favorite gemstone of the mermaids, and Eren had always secretly hoped that if he ever met one out here, it might be attracted to his pendant and come up to him. The way the light shone through it and around it made it seem otherworldly, even more like it belonged to a mermaid, and reinforced itself as his most beloved possession.

For another summer, the sea had caught him in its net again, and for another summer, Eren found himself helpless against the spell it cast.

He lowered his pendant back to his chest, but didn't get the chance to relax again, because he heard a soft, strange sound coming from below him. At first, he thought he was just hearing things. Perhaps it was an errant shriek of a seagull. Yet, a moment later, he heard it again, a piercing whistling sound, rising even over the sound of the crashing waves.

Eren froze. He had only ever heard that sound on t.v. It sounded eerily like the call of a dolphin, and yet, not. He scooted closer to the edge of the cliff, peering over it. Was there a dolphin on the beach?

The boy gasped when he heard the sound again, except this time, it was several short, sharp screeches. It sounded like an animal in pain. Had a dolphin beached itself overnight? Without hesitating, he backed away from the cliff and raced across the grass and down the path that led him to the beach. Eren skidded to a stop, the sand spraying at his feet, and let his eyes rove up and down the beach. At first glance, he didn't see anything except seagulls picking at dead fish that had washed up. Then again, the light was still low, making things hard to see, so he couldn't rely on his eyes so much. He strained his ears, listening for the crying again, and when he heard it, he took off running towards it. Luckily, it was much more sustained this time, and it wasn't coming from the beach itself, but underneath the cliff where he had been standing. Perhaps the dolphin was stuck under there; the rock didn't meet the sea right away as it descended toward it, leaving a large hollow space underneath, almost like someone had taken a scoop out of it, that Eren would often explore, though the slippery rocks often made it hazardous. It could be entirely possible that something had swum up in there and gotten stuck.

Once he reached the cave, he realized he was going to have to hop into the water in order to go further. So he quickly took off his shoes, left them on the beach, and stepped in, shivering at how cold it was. Luckily, the water wasn't too deep here, not even reaching his knees, and he navigated his way in carefully, staying alert for the source of the sound.

He didn't have long to wait to see it. It was quiet for a brief moment, before the shrieking picked up again, loud and piercing, echoing off the rock walls all around him. It was accompanied by violent splashing near the edge of the wall, right by the stone shore. In the low light, Eren could see that whatever was stuck was pretty large, and that by its tail, which was thrashing around in the water, it certainly looked like a dolphin. However, there was some odd lump stuck on its tail, and by the way it shone, it looked like the lump was made of some kind of metal. Stomach sinking, Eren stepped out of the water and made his way carefully across the slippery rocks and over towards the creature.

But when Eren got close enough, and the animal lifted its head out of the water, he saw immediately that it was no dolphin.

The boy gasped and leaped backwards, slipping on the rocks as he did so and landing hard on his rear. However, over the noise of its struggling, the mermaid didn't notice him. For it was indeed a mermaid. The tail looked like a dolphin's, as it was smooth and darker in color, but the upper body was most certainly human in shape, complete with dark hair on the top of the mermaid's head. Eren trembled there for a moment in combination of shock, cold, and most of all, excitement. Here was a real mermaid at last!

Before he could say anything though, the creature at that moment caught sight of him, freezing in place once it locked eyes with him. Its eyes widened with terror, and Eren could hear it panting in the quiet of the cave, see its chest rising and falling in the faint light. As it paused for a moment, the boy noticed that it wasn't as big as he originally thought. In fact, it seemed to be no bigger than he was. He sucked in a breath when he got a better look at its face and what he could see of its body; this was just a young mermaid, a child, perhaps no older than him.

When it processed the new situation it was in, it let out another ear-splitting wail and began struggling again, trying desperately to get away from Eren, however it seemed like it couldn't, like something was hindering its movements. Then he remembered the metallic lump stuck to its tail, and his heart began to race in apprehension. Was it trapped? He remembered an article online mentioning something about how it was becoming common for people to set traps for mermaids like they set traps for animals on land, luring them in with food or shiny trinkets before the trap snagged them around their tails, arms, or hands. From there, they would do all manner of horrible things with them, ranging from selling them live to aquariums or marine parks, or killing them and selling their body parts for large profits. Eren highly doubted that the trappers would spare even a young mermaid from such a fate.

Making up his mind about what he had to do, he quickly got to his feet and slipped back into the water, trying hard to block out the horrible sounds the scared mermaid was making, and instead spoke to it, struggling to be heard over its cries and splashing.

"Hey, hey hey!" he called, "Hey, shh, it's alright! I'm not going to hurt you! I want to help you, okay? Shh, easy, hey, calm down."

The mermaid's struggles slowed at hearing his voice, or perhaps it had just exhausted itself. Either way, after a moment, it regarded Eren with wide, scared eyes. The water it was stuck in was very shallow, so shallow that it was able to sit on the bottom and its torso cleared the water. Eren approached it slowly, keeping his body angled away from it so that it could see he wouldn't suddenly lunge at it, and his hands lifted, palms up. He kept up a soothing string of words the entire time, words he might use to approach a cat or dog that was scared of him.

"Shh, shh, it's going to be okay," he told it softly, "It's all going to be okay. Just relax for me, alright? I'm not going to hurt you. I promise I won't."

The creature's apprehensive stare was so intense, so fixed on him that it was unnerving, but Eren couldn't blame it. It most likely couldn't understand him, so it had nothing to go off as to what his intentions were but the tone of his voice and his body language. So he ignored the stare as best he could, and kept inching towards the mermaid.

"Good job, very good," he praised it when it remained still. He was only a couple feet away now, and it this point he decided it would be wise to make himself look even smaller and less like a threat. He crouched down, ignoring how the water seeped into his shorts, and slunk forward. "Good job, you. Easy now, okay? I'm going to help you. I won't leave until I do."

He chanced reaching out his hand. The mermaid flinched away, and Eren flinched in turn, but kept his hand steady. When it did nothing else, Eren chanced getting closer. He turned his hand so that the back of it was facing the mermaid, hoping it would look even less threatening that way. It stared at his hand as he approached, back ramrod straight and its whole frame trembling in terror, but otherwise didn't move.

"That's it, shh, shhhh," Eren continued, keeping his tone light, "Good. Thank you, you're doing a good job. I know you're scared. I am too, don't worry. But it's alright, see?"

When his hand was hovering just a few inches over the mermaid's skin without it reacting any further, he took the chance, and touched its upper arm with the back of his hand. It whimpered and screwed its eyes shut for a brief moment, and Eren flinched and pulled his hand back for a second, before putting his hand back, letting it get used to the new sensation. When the pain didn't come, the mermaid cracked its eyes open, allowing itself to take in this small human's face. It was smiling at him, gently, no teeth bared, and its green eyes were lit with the orange light of the strengthening dawn. It remained in place, not knowing what it should do next, but it didn't appear that this human was going to hurt it.

Eren felt the mermaid relax fractionally under his hand, and, encouraged, he turned it around and stroked its skin with his fingers. It stared at his hand, but then lifted its eyes so that it could look him in the eyes, and Eren felt his breath leave him in a rush. The mermaid's eyes looked like a normal person's eyes, and if it weren't for the tail, Eren felt like he could have been looking into a human face. The only betraying features were that its nose was shaped just the slightest bit differently so that its nostrils were smaller, probably to keep water from going down its nose. Its eyes were a dark color, and at first they looked grey to him, but upon close inspection, Eren could see that they were in fact a very, v _ery_ dark blue.

"Huh," Eren noticed once he got over his surprise, "Your skin feels warm and…soft. A little tougher than mine, but not rubbery, like a dolphin's. That's…wow. You're, um…"

Before he could go on, the mermaid lifted a hand out of the water, and in return, touched Eren's arm. There was a thin webbing between its fingers, Eren noticed, but other than that, it looked no different than his own hand. It even had fingernails. It felt along Eren's arm as well, trailing its palm up and down, and the boy remained still. He watched the mermaid's face, and though its expression was still tight and pained, the fear seemed to leak from its face just slightly. Satisfied, Eren withdrew his hand, and the mermaid did the same, placing it back into the water.

"Good, thank you for letting me get so close," Eren said with a nod, letting his smile get bigger. The mermaid didn't return it, but its eyes never left his. "Listen," he continued, "I need to see what we're dealing with here, okay? I need to look at your tail, see what kind of trap this is. I'm going to try not to hurt you, and we're going to see if we can get this off of you, so just…stay still. Please?"

The mermaid continued to stare at him, and Eren figured from the blank look it was giving him that not a word of that had been comprehended. So instead, he backed away slowly, going down towards the mermaid's tail, where he could see the shiny thing attached to it beneath the water. He hesitated, his hands hovering over the water.

"Okay," he exhaled, "I'm going to need to lift your tail so I can see what kind of trap this is. I'm going to try and be careful, but it might hurt a little. I'm sorry, um…okay, alright, here we go."

Slowly, purposefully, he reached under the water, and the instant his hands made contact with the mermaid's tale, the creature flinched again, and let out another cry. It tried to pull away, scooting backwards on the rock. Eren pulled his hands away and tried to calm it down again.

"Shhh, hey, it's okay, I'm sorry," he apologized, "I'm sorry, but I have to look at it, or I can't help you. I'm trying to be as careful as I can, I promise. Please, hold still."

The small mermaid tired quickly again, panting, and Eren used that moment to carefully lift its tail from the water. For the boy, it was quite heavy, and though he was as careful as he could be, the mermaid still whined with distress, and feebly tried to pull its tail out of Eren's grasp. However, it was far too tired to struggle much, so he was able to keep a hold of it. He gasped when he saw that yes, a trap was definitely the reason the mermaid was stuck here. Even worse, the trap that held it was a snap trap, and the teeth were digging into the flesh of the poor creature. Blood was leaking down the sides of its tail, and Eren hissed looking at it.

"Alright, okay," he told himself, "Right. We need to get this off you. Maybe I can..."

He tilted his head, looking at the trap from a few different angles, before deciding to come at it from the top. Eren tried to pry the jaws of the trap apart, but it wouldn't budge. He tried until a sweat broke out on his brow, but it still wouldn't move. After a few tries, he saw another pair of hands appear on one side of the trap, and he looked up to see that the mermaid was looking at him, its expression unsure and still full of fear and pain, but also determined. Without words, they repositioned their hands so that they each held onto one side of the trap, before they began to pull in unison. However, even then, the trap refused to give. They gave it a few more tries, grunting with exertion, but it was as if the trap was locked in place.

Finally, Eren and the mermaid let go of the trap to catch their breath. However, now Eren was beginning to grow angry, refusing to give up. He pulled up the mermaid's tail again, grumbling to himself, "There has to be some way to get this thing off. Usually they just pull apart, so what is up with this thing?"

He examined it from all angles as best he could, trying to figure out the trap's secret. It was on the fourth scan that he noticed a tiny keyhole at the base, and comprehension dawned. The trap must have a key that went to it that would unlock it.

"We need a key for this thing," Eren said out loud, "Alright then. Okay. I'm going to need to get my parents. They'll be able to help."

He put the trap down again and started to stand up, but before he could get very far, surprisingly, a webbed hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. The mermaid was looking him with wide, pleading eyes, shaking its head, begging without words, _Please don't leave me. I hurt and I'm scared, please don't leave, don't leave me alone._

"I'm so sorry," Eren said sincerely, falling back into a crouch, "But I'll be right back. I'm not leaving you."

He tried to pull away again, but the mermaid's grip was firm, and he whined again. To Eren, he looked and sounded like a sad little puppy, and the combination pulled at his heart strings. He bit his lip, wondering what he should do next, before an idea occurred to him. It wasn't one he wanted to enact, but he didn't see any other option at the moment. With his free hand, he reached behind his neck and unclasped his necklace, before holding it in front of him. Seeing this, the mermaid let go, its eyes focusing on the pretty blue gem.

"Here," Eren said, clasping the necklace around the mermaid's neck, "This is my favorite necklace. I'm not going to leave it, and I'm not going to leave you. I promise I'll be back for the both of you."

He tapped at the pendant sitting against the mermaid's chest to solidify his promise, before he backed away again, the mermaid letting him go this time. He spared one last look at those pitiful gray eyes, before he scrambled out from underneath the rock cave. He pushed his way through the water and then scrambled up the beach, before racing to up to his beach house, forgetting his shoes on the sand entirely. He flew through the front door, and pounced on his parents' bed once he reached the bedroom.

"Get up!" he said desperately, bouncing on top of them, "Dad, get up, there's a mermaid on the beach that needs our help, please!"

His dad grunted awake, followed closely by his mother, both of them sitting up slowly and regarding him with confusion. His dad rubbed his eyes and asked in a gravelly voice, "Eren, what are you on about? What's the matter?"

"A mermaid is stuck in a trap on the beach, under the cliff," Eren explained a little more slowly, "We need to go and get it out _now_ , before the trappers come back for it. Please dad, please! It's just a little mermaid, probably a kid, and it's really scared. I promised it I'd be back to help it. The trap has a keyhole on it and we can't open it."

At this, Grisha woke up further and glanced at Carla, who had gotten the gist of what Eren was saying by reading his lips. They knew Eren had a penchant for lying sometimes, as most children do, and especially most bratty children like Eren did, but they also knew that when he lied, his ears always turned red. His were free of red, and his eyes were far too sincere and scared looking for him to be making up what he was saying. So, both of them wasted no time in hopping out of bed. Grisha immediately went into doctor mode, throwing some medical supplies in a bag that he always carried around just in case, and he instructed Carla to grab the key off the dresser that he always wore around his neck, but had taken off for the night. She did so, placing it over her own neck, before the three of them dashed out the front door, not even bothering with their shoes.

Eren led them hastily down to the beach, running as if demons were at his heels, constantly checking behind him to make sure that his parents were following. They stayed close behind him, and plunged into the water behind him when Eren led them underneath the cliff. However, they froze when they saw the trapped mermaid, saw that it was sitting up and staring at all of them, that it looked relieved when it saw Eren come back, and that its tail was still above the water, resting against a large rock that most likely had the trap chained to it and that the snap trap their son had mentioned still had it in its clutches.

Shaking off their surprise, they raced forward, ignoring their wet clothes. Grisha knelt down in the water beside the mermaid's tail and the trap, and Carla stood by him. Eren was standing by the mermaid's head, rubbing its shoulder and speaking soothing words to it while the mermaid in turn rubbed his upper arm. Grisha examined the trap for a second, finding the little keyhole Eren had mentioned quickly.

"Carla, my skeleton key," he signed, and Carla quickly nodded, kneeling down next to him. She leaned forward, and without taking the key from around her neck, slid it into the little slot. When she turned it, they heard the trap click, and knew it had worked. Grisha and Carla then each took a side of the trap, and pulled at the jaws of it. They separated with a creak, and the mermaid pulled its tail free.

"Now hold on," Grisha said, "It can't go anywhere yet. I have to treat its wounds, or else they're going to get infected."

The mermaid was wiggling, trying to move away, but Eren put both hands on its shoulders, bracing an arm against its upper back, and soothed, "Hey, not yet, keep holding still. My dad is a doctor, and now he's going to clean out your cuts. He's also going to check and see if there's anything wrong with your tail before he lets you go, okay?"

The mermaid was shaking, but otherwise went still, not because it comprehended Eren's words, but because the pain in its tail was so immense that it physically couldn't get away even it wanted to. It looked to Eren surprisingly for reassurance, and when Eren gave it a smile, it shuddered, and simply dropped its head into the crook of his shoulder, too exhausted to fight anymore. Eren's lips parted in surprise at this sign of trust, and took the creature's hand, squeezing it softly.

When Grisha saw that the mermaid had calmed, he went to work, gently lifting its tail again and setting it in its lap, while Carla went up by the mermaid's head with Eren. It glanced up at her, fearful for a minute, but when it took in her kind face and gentle smile, it relaxed once more, even more so when she placed a hand on its shoulder and stroked it. These people weren't going to hurt it otherwise they wouldn't be working so hard to keep him calm and comfort him.

However, the brief moment of respite was torn to pieces the moment placed the antiseptic-soaked pad against the injury, and the mermaid screeched loud enough to make everyone's ears bleed. It began to struggle again, tears welling up in its eyes and rolling down its cheeks in huge, fat droplets.

"Hey shh, stay still, I know," Eren soothed, "I know it hurts, my dad has done this to me too. It's not fun, is it? The more still you stay, the faster it'll be done though."

The creature's cries died down into whimpers, and it shook with pain, pushing itself further against Eren. It buried its face further into his neck, sobbing, and the sounded so much like how Eren did when he was upset that the boy pulled the little creature closer, squeezing its hand even harder and laying his head over the mermaid's. Carla looked down at her son proudly, still unable to believe that her bratty, stubborn little boy could flip a switch so easily when he wanted to and become this empathetic, soothing presence.

Grisha worked as fast as he could, cleaning out the injury, deciding fast that it was going to need stitches, and giving the small mermaid a shot of a numbing agent for the area. The mermaid cried a little louder at both the prick of the needle and the sensation of the lower part of its tail going numb, becoming just as scared as when the trap had first clamped around it. It felt the human boy squeeze him harder when its crying grew louder, and it found the strength to stay still, even though the panic was choking it. It couldn't exactly get away now anyway, not when it couldn't feel its tail.

Continuous pressure plagued its tail, not painful, but severely uncomfortable, and it looked down to see a sharp, shiny object attached to a piece of clear string disappearing in and out of its skin. It felt the blood drain from its face, black pulse around the edges of its vision, and for a moment, Eren felt the mermaid grow limp.

The boy looked up at his mom in a panic, and Carla in turn leaned over, examining the mermaid's face. She peeled back an eyelid, checked its pulse, and concluded, _"I think it fainted, sweetie, it's okay. Give it a minute, it'll wake up again."_

Luckily, as soon as Carla spoke those words, the mermaid's eyes were fluttering open again, and it was letting out a long, low, moan of pain. It shivered in Eren's arms, cold from the lack of blood flowing in its limbs, and Eren squeezed it tighter, trying to share his body heat with it.

Eventually, Grisha finished, hastily tying off the stitches and even giving the creature a shot of antibiotics. The mermaid didn't even seem to notice when they were done at first, that the doctor was no longer holding its tail and that its tail was in fact floating limply in the water. It simply lay panting in Eren's arms, letting out weak whimpers, its face drenched in snot, tears and saliva. When it had fainted, its bladder had given out and it had urinated on itself, but luckily the humans didn't seem to notice that.

As it worked to calm itself down, both Eren and Carla set on soothing it, Carla shushing it with her soft voice and Eren snuggling it close, trying to help it regulate its temperature. They all sat there for several long minutes in silence with nothing but the sound of their panting filling the cave space, the sound of the crashing of the waves against the rocks and the seagulls crying over head. The dawn had almost given way to the morning, and the yellow light was much stronger now.

After a few minutes, the mermaid began to regain the feeling in its tail, and the blood began to return to its head. It began to writhe and squirm, pushing itself away from Eren and Carla. However, the boy only gripped it tighter, and Grisha told him, "No, Eren, let it go, let it go if it wants to go."

So Eren did so, backing away from the mermaid, and watching as it pulled itself along the rock until the water began to deepen, before it ducked under the waves. Eren watched the pale shape of its body swim out of the cave, before it disappeared into deeper water.

They let a beat of quiet pass all around them, before Grisha broke out into relieved laughter, followed up by Carla clapping. Eren simply stared at where it had disappeared, going over to stand by the mouth of the cave.

"You did a great job, Eren," Grisha praised his son, "You saved that mermaid's life. Who knows what might have happened to it if you hadn't told us it was here."

Carla signed to her husband, _"He can add it to his resume someday."_

Grisha laughed, and walked up behind Eren, placing a hand on his shoulder. When the boy didn't react, the smile fell from his face, and he asked, "What's the matter?"

Eren sighed heavily, and looked up at his mom guiltily when she came over and placed a hand on his other shoulder. He spoke, and signed to her, "He was wearing my necklace. The one you guys gave me for my birthday. I gave it to him to wear as a promise that I'd come back. And now he's gone."

They clucked sympathetically to him, but he didn't hear their reassurances, could barely feel their embrace as they both kneeled down to hug him. All he could do was stare out into the open sea, looking helplessly for something he knew he wouldn't find.

000

The next day, Eren was once again up at dawn, and once again down by the beach. He had decided to check and make sure that the trap was still empty; it was, and he knew his dad was going to speak to someone about having the trap removed, if for no other reason than besides a mermaid, a person could get caught in that trap and get themselves hurt.

But now the boy had wandered out on the dock where he would often leap from when he swam out here, practicing his dives, as it was very deep on the far end. He knew it was a bad idea to be out here by himself, and that his parents would scold him later for it, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Once he had gone out halfway, he sat down on the edge of the dock, taking off his shoes and letting his feet dangle in the chilly water. He watched the sun rising over the horizon line for a bit, watching the stars disappear and the pink light turn orange, watched it light up the clouds, and wished that it would take away the sad feeling that had settled in his chest since yesterday. His parents had promised him that they would get him a new pendant, but he had loved that one and didn't really want a replacement. He sighed, splashing his feet carelessly, amusing himself with the splash patterns he created.

The wind was calmer today, so the waves weren't as big as they had been yesterday, making things much quieter. Perhaps that's why he heard the faint splash a few feet away. Eren froze, ears and eyes straining as he looked around. A few moments of quiet passed, and then he heard the splash again, and then saw some ripples and bubbles at the end of the dock.

Eren took his feet out of the water and stood up, watching beneath his feet for the source of the sound. And to his utter shock, a pale shape appeared beneath the water, rising until a familiar head broke the surface, and cautiously looked up at him.

Eren blinked, and breathed, "It's you."

The small mermaid blinked back, and it was then that Eren realized that the creature's eyes were the same color of the water that it swam in. It tilted its head, and Eren saw that its hands were moving purposefully around its body; it was treading water, much more easily than Eren ever could. It didn't even look tired as it did it. It was also now that the boy noticed that the mermaid's ears, which poked out from under its wet hair, were slightly pointed, and that under the early light, there was a slight, bluish, green tint to its skin. Most likely to help it blend in to its surroundings, to help balance out how pale it was.

When Eren didn't do anything further, the mermaid slowly lifted one hand from the water, and clutched in its fist was-

"My pendant!" Eren gasped. Excitedly, he took it from the mermaid, took a quick look at it, and saw that it looked just as pristine as it had yesterday, before he tied it back around his neck. He then grinned down at the creature, saying, "Thank you, oh my gosh, thanks so much for bringing it back!"

The mermaid smiled back, seemingly encouraged that Eren wasn't angry with him. And then, to Eren's surprise, it lifted its other hand from the water, and presented Eren with the prettiest conch shell the boy had ever seen.

Eren looked between the shell and the mermaid for a moment, and when the mermaid didn't make a move to put the shell down, he pointed to himself and asked, "For me?"

The creature seemed to understand his gestures and therefore the question, because he made an affirmative little warble, before pushing the shell insistently towards Eren. The boy slowly took it from him, turning it over in his grasp. It was so big that he had to hold it in two hands, and so pretty; he had never even seen anything like this in the gift shops around here. It was the same color as the horizon at the moment, and Eren began to wonder if the mermaid had chosen it for Eren especially for that reason.

"Thank you," he breathed, and looked up at the mermaid, "But um, why? Why give me this?"

He saw the mermaid screw up its face in thought for a moment, as if it were trying to figure out what Eren had asked. But since the human boy was still looking between the shell and the creature itself, it figured that he was asking why he had been given the shell. So, it shifted in the water to hold up its tail, and pointed at the stitches standing out prominently against its skin around the base of its tail, just above its flukes.

Once comprehension dawned, the boy said softly, "Because I helped you get out of the trap?"

The mermaid pointed more insistently at its stitches, and nodded, and Eren guessed that was confirmation. Deeply touched that the mermaid had wanted to thank him with such a nice present, Eren just stuttered awkwardly, "Well, um, thank you. It was nothing, you know, I just did what any decent person that found you would have done. This is really pretty though, I'm going to take good care of it. After all, I don't think a lot of people can say they got a shell from a mermaid because they helped one."

The mermaid took in Eren running his fingers over the shell, the flush of color on the boy's cheeks, and the soft smile curving his lips, and its eyes lit up. It warbled again, excitedly and several times in rapid succession this time, before it turned around and dove back under the water. Before Eren even had time to wonder where it had gone, it had reappeared above the surface with another conch shell in its hands, and was holding it out towards Eren. This one was white that faded into a rosy pink color, smaller than the other. Eren took it slowly from the mermaid.

"Um, thanks," he said, laughing awkwardly, "You're very kind, and these are really pretty."

Earning another smile from the human boy, the mermaid dove down again, and a minute later, came back with yet another shell, then left and got another, and another, giving them all to Eren, who didn't know how to say that one was fine, that he didn't have to go through all of this trouble, but at the same time, each shell was so pretty, each one a different shape and color. He sat down again on the edge of the dock, watching the creature swim back and forth, and the mermaid didn't stop until Eren had a small pile sitting next to him on the dock.

The mermaid watched as he looked at them all, its expression pleased that Eren seemed to enjoy them, and the smile didn't disappear from its face as Eren looked back up at it. The boy was still smiling at him in turn, and the mermaid watched as the boy pointed at himself and said, "I'm Eren. What's your name?"

The mermaid of course didn't answer him. Instead, it tilted its head like a confused dog, and the boy replied more slowly, "Er-en." He even signed his name, signing an E over his chest, where his pendant sat, and then pointed at himself again. The creature blinked for a moment, and Eren could practically see the gears in its head turning, before it repeated the sign over its own chest, and then pointed at the boy.

"Yes," Eren praised, his eyes lighting up, "That's me. Eren. It's nice to meet you."

The mermaid made the sign for Eren's name again, its grin growing bigger as it understood. But for some reason, it didn't try to verbally repeat his name, and it made the boy wonder why. He knew it could speak, as it had certain cried loud enough in the cave.

"Can you speak?" Eren wondered, "I'd like to know your name if you could tell me."

The mermaid blinked up at him again, but once it seemed to understand his question, it opened its mouth. However, before it could answer him, to their combined surprise, yet another pale shape appeared in the water next to them, causing Eren to gasp as another mermaid rose from the water, much bigger than the other mermaid in front of him. This one, from the shape of its face, Eren could tell was definitely female, and he was sure that, though greatly reduced from the size of a human's, it did have breasts hiding under the surface of the water. This mermaid's hair was also dark, and its face and eyes were so similar to the smaller mermaid's, that Eren could only conclude that this mermaid was the little one's mother.

That fact was only confirmed when a moment later, the adult mermaid pushed the younger one behind her, and snarled at Eren. The boy backed away rapidly from the edge of the dock, his heart hammering in his chest. Once it deemed that Eren wasn't a threat anymore, she turned back to her child, and began whistling and growling at it. Though Eren couldn't understand what she was saying, he had heard that tone of voice from his own mother enough to know that she was chewing her child out, scolding it. The boy watched them argue, watched the little one gesture wildly, at its tail, at Eren, at the shells even. Its tone turned from insolent to pleading, and at one point, it looked to be on the verge of tears.

Finally, he heard the mother mermaid give a long, suffering sigh, before she turned back to Eren, her eyes narrowed and her arms crossed. She then, to Eren's astonishment, began to sign to him.

" _Do you know this language?"_ she asked.

"Yes!" Eren replied, out loud and in sign, "Yes, I do. My mother is deaf, so we speak it all the time."

" _Good,"_ she replied, _"My son tells me that you and your family helped him out of a trap yesterday, and that's why he was gone so long. He also says that he came back to return something special to you, as well as give you a thank you present for helping him. Is this true?"_

"Yes," Eren confirmed, surprised to learn that the mermaid's child was in fact male. Here was a male mermaid at last, something even the scientists hadn't discovered! "He was returning my pendant." He tapped at the necklace on his chest. "I heard him crying under the cliff yesterday, and my parents and I got him out. We don't know who set the trap, but I know I couldn't let him be caught by whoever did."

She fixed him with a hard, steely stare for a moment, seemingly glaring right into his soul. Eren gulped under the weight of that stare, before she broke it, and replied, _"Fine. I'll believe you. And if my son says you're his friend, then I'll believe him too. I suppose it doesn't surprise me he's done something like this. I try to keep him away from humans, but it's like trying to hold back a tidal wave. He's a stubborn brat, this one."_

Eren's eyes widened in surprise. The small mermaid considered him to be his friend? And what's more, it sounded like they were awfully similar.

He filed the thought away for later, and instead looked between the two of them, asking hesitantly, "If I may, can I ask for your names? My name is Eren."

The mother mermaid smirked wryly. _"Unfortunately, our names can't be translated into a human tongue, and our tongues can't form your language. However, I've used the name Kuchel on land in the past. Thank you for telling us your name, Eren."_

"Oh," Eren replied, disappointed and intrigued all at once, but then brightened again, "Well, that's alright, I don't need to know your son's name to play with him. If that's okay with the both of you."

Kuchel turned to her child and spoke to him, relating Eren's request, and her son positively beamed up at Eren, nodding his head rapidly and whistling shrilly with excitement. He immediately leaped up at the dock, landing on it to sit next to Eren, and pull him into an enthusiastic hug. Eren felt the breath being knocked right out of him, and he swore he could feel his spine crack, but he hugged his new friend back anyway. He looked at the mother mermaid over the younger one's shoulder, and saw that her suspicious expression had turned into a serene smile. Eren's shoulders sagged in relief at that.

The young mermaid back out of the embrace and began tugging on the boy's wrists insistently, backing away towards the edge of the dock, and Eren got the message quickly that he wanted him to get in the water with him.

"Okay, okay," he laughed, "hold on, I'm coming."

The boy stripped off his shirt, luckily already being in his swim trunks (he pretty much always wore them on vacation, because he was almost always in the water), and didn't hesitate to hop in the water beside his new friend with a splash. He almost instantly shot back up, shivering and rubbing his arms. He laughed in exhilaration, even more so when he saw that the small mermaid was laughing too, as well as making little chirping noises.

"Alright, see if you can catch me," Eren challenged, before diving under the water.

With a splash and a delighted squeak, the mermaid followed him.

The two of them played like that all morning, chasing each other around in the water, playing hide and seek, sneaking up on each other and frightening the life out of the other, even finding objects on the sea floor. At one point, the mermaid pretended he was a shark coming after Eren, and after Eren pretended to swim away, the mermaid pounced on him and pretended to bite his neck, to which Eren pretended to bleed to death and sink under the waves, leaving the mermaid to giggle at him.

It was of course like this that Carla happened to come upon the three of them.

After looking all over for Eren in the house, she figured she'd be able to find him by the water, mostly because he was a little turd that did the opposite of what she said, and if she said don't go near the water until she and his dad were there to watch him, then of course he'd plot a course for the dock. And lo and behold, here he was. However, he wasn't alone. She slowed down as she approached him on the dock, seeing that not only was the mermaid child from yesterday there, but yet another mermaid was too. Both her son and the young mermaid were clearly playing, huge smiles on both of their faces as Eren pushed the mermaid off of him and splashed him in the face, to which the other child returned the splash tenfold with his tail. Eren growled playfully after recovering and dunked the mermaid under the water, laughing his fool head off as the other squirmed underneath him.

"Eren?" Carla spoke aloud to get his attention.

Her son whipped his head around in the direction of her voice, and his eyes widened. He got off of the mermaid and brought his shoulders up his ears, trying to make himself look smaller, all the while signing timidly while speaking, " _Heeeey mom, fancy seeing you here. I was just…I mean I was"-_

" _Save it, young man."_

Eren flinched, lowering his eyes guiltily. _"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have gotten in the water without you and dad, but the mermaid from yesterday came, and he returned my necklace and brought me a pile of shells as a thank you present, then he said he wanted to be my friend, and we started playing, and technically I do have parental supervision because his mom is here too"-_

"Eren, Eren," she halted his rambling, "Loo' a' me."

He did so, looking to see that she wasn't angry, as there was a fond half-smile on her face. _"You'll be in trouble later, but for now, you're fine. You're right, you do technically have parental supervision, and I suppose I don't really have to worry about you drowning if the supervision is a mermaid."_

She looked at the female mermaid and waved hello, and the mermaid signed _"Hello"_ back. Carla gasped in delight, and asked, _"You know sign language? How?"_

The female mermaid gave her a kind smile, and answered, _"I've traveled many places and met many people. And we mermaids have a gift for picking up different languages easily."_

With that, the two of them started talking, Carla even sitting down on the dock to converse with her. Eren smiled approvingly, happy to see that his mom had a new friend as well; she had so few because of her disability. No one had the patience to learn sign language, or write or even text in order to communicate with her. Based on what they were signing, Carla was asking Kuchel about the places she had gone in her travels, and Kuchel was answering eagerly. Eren nudged his friend on the shoulder, saying, "Come on, they're going to be talking for hours now, let's keep playing. I'll be the shark this time."

Understanding the general gist of what Eren was saying (Kuchel had been right when she said mermaids picked up new languages quickly), and giggling at the wink the boy gave him, he followed him eagerly out into the deeper water.

They played like that for the rest of the day, so engrossed in their games that their mothers had to remind them to stop and eat. Eren's father showed up a little later in the morning and hung around the dock for a bit, also having a conversation with the young mermaid's mother while the boys played. When it finally started to get late, Eren's parents told him that it was time to get going, and the young mermaid's mother told him the same thing presumably, because they let out twin groans of displeasure.

"You can play with him again tomorrow, okay?" Grisha promised, "If they'll still be here tomorrow, that is?"

Suddenly nervous, Eren swung his head around, giving both mermaids a hopeful look. The smaller mermaid gave his mother a pleading stare, and she in turn threw up her hands and signed, _"Alright. I suppose if I don't let you come you'll just sneak away anyway."_

He leaped up and hugged his mom in thanks, before swimming over to hug Eren goodbye, before leaping on him to dunk him under the water one last time. Eren came up, sputtering, ready to retaliate, only to see that he was already several feet away and waving goodbye.

"I'll get you tomorrow for that!" he called out. His new friend kept waving, before both he and his mother dove beneath the water, their tails against the sunset the last thing he saw.

On the way back to the house, Eren chattered nonstop about how amazing his new friend was to his parents, about how great of a swimmer he was, about how even though he didn't know his name and they couldn't speak the same language he was still loads of fun to play with, and he was picking up on sign language and spoken English very quickly. He told them during dinner about how he knew Eren's name and a few words already, and how he couldn't wait to teach him more tomorrow, about how they were going to play lots more games tomorrow too. He kept talking a mile a minute until his mother laid him down in bed and told him it was time to shut his mouth and his eyes, and he did so, passing out almost immediately.

For the rest of that summer, Eren slipped into a new routine, visiting his mermaid friend that next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, playing in the water together, teaching each other about their world (Eren learned the mermaid was just as keen to learn as much about the human world as he was to learn about the ocean) and watching the sun rises and sunsets with each other.

It was one evening during one of these conversations that Eren learned that he was the only friend the mermaid had.

"You don't have any other friends?" Eren asked, disbelievingly, "Not one?"

The mermaid shook his head, but smiled, and signing shakily, _"You're enough. Like you."_

Eren laughed, "Well, I like you too. Maybe someday I'll have to introduce you to my friends."

The mermaid brightened at those words, clearly excited at the prospect.

Sadly though, of course the summer couldn't last forever, no matter how hard Eren secretly wished it would. Soon enough, they had to go back home, as school started in only a couple of weeks. However, it didn't make Eren feel like any less of a monster when he had to break the news to his mermaid friend. He had told him before that he would have to leave eventually, but he didn't think the mermaid completely understood the concept.

"I have to go back home today," he said sadly on the dock, the mermaid floating in the water beneath him, "So I can go back to school."

The mermaid seemed to mull it over, before he decided, _"Go to school today, come back tomorrow?"_

Eren's face fell, and he answered softly, "Oh, no. I can't come back until next summer. School lasts most of the year and…yeah."

He let the words sink in, his heart breaking as the mermaid's face fell further and further. When Eren heard him sniff, the boy began to panic when he saw a tear glisten on his face. He leaned down and placed his hand on his friend's cheek, holding it there and letting him feel its warmth.

"I'm sorry," Eren apologized again, guilt filling his whole body and making him feel sick, "I'm so sorry."

The mermaid sniffled heavily, and signed with trembling hands, _"Only friend. Don't go. Don't go, please."_

"I know, I know," Eren sighed, feeling tears sting his eyes as well, and wiping away the tear that rolled down the mermaid's cheek with his thumb. "I don't want to go. All I can do is promise I'll be here next summer to play with you again. If you'll be here too."

The mermaid wiped his nose, leaning his face into his friend's hand and holding it there with his own hand. He looked up into Eren's face, his eyes still glistening with the threat of more tears, and tapped at his chest. Confused for a moment, the boy finally comprehended. No, it wasn't the official word for "promise," but he supposed it could become their word. He tapped his necklace in return, offering him a watery smile.

"Eren, the car's packed!" Grisha called from up the beach, "Time to go!"

"Coming!" Eren called back.

He regarded his friend steadily for a long moment, watching as the young mermaid nuzzled his hand morosely, like he was afraid he'd never see him again. Maybe he wouldn't; the ocean was a dangerous place, and though he had his mother with him, she could only protect him from so much.

"Stay safe," the boy whispered, "Please. I'll meet you where the cliff greets the sea next year, just like where we first met, okay?"

The mermaid nodded, and then they both looked up when they heard the whistle of his mother calling for him in the distance. With a mournful warble, the mermaid started to back away, but then thought better of it. He patted at the dock with his palm, causing Eren to raise an eyebrow in confusion. However, when the mermaid kept patting the dock, the boy asked, "You want me to lay down?"

His friend nodded. Eren shrugged and did as he was asked, laying down on his front on the dock. The mermaid then stretched up and pressed their foreheads together. Eren was surprised at first, but when he realized what he was doing, relaxed. He remembered him telling him that this was how mermaids said hello and goodbye to each other, and he felt honored to be included in such a tradition.

"Bye," the boy whispered thickly, and the mermaid nuzzled him a little more insistently, chuffing softly.

Eventually, the mermaid backed away from the dock, sorrow making him look smaller than Eren had ever seen him. He kept the human boy in his sight the entire time he swam away from the dock until he reached his mother's side, and even then, after she finished waving goodbye to Eren and dove under the water, he hesitated for a moment more, waving one last time to Eren, and chirruping out what the boy thought was a goodbye, before he too disappeared soundlessly under the dark water, leaving Eren staring out at the sea.

Alone.

000

A year later, ten year old Eren stood on top of that cliff overlooking the sea once more, standing outside of his home away from home. The dawn was just breaking, and he was awaiting the return of his mermaid friend eagerly. He smiled to himself when he remembered how he had urged his dad to drive faster, afraid of being late. But of course they hadn't been too late; he had run out to check under the cliff the moment they had arrived, and his friend hadn't been there yet. So Eren had woken up bright and early the next day, already changed into his swim trunks in anticipation for a long day of play.

As soon as the sun began to peek above the horizon, Eren descended the cliff, and headed underneath it, moving to stand by the very spot where they had met. Luckily, he noticed that the rock that had had the trap chained to it last year was barren this year. So he decided that this would be a great place to sit. He did just that, bouncing his leg eagerly, and settling in to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait, in silence, with nothing but the waves crashing on the shore and the occasional small, silver fish that wandered in for company.

He sat there for a long time, until the orange light had faded and true morning light began to creep in. Confused, Eren finally left the cliff and walked up the beach a ways, thinking maybe he was waiting for him by the shoreline. But a search of the beach revealed that it was empty of everything except seagulls and dried seaweed. Shrugging, he decided to head onto the dock, stopping once he reached the end and letting his bare feet dangle in the water, keeping his eyes glued on the horizon line for strange ripples or any sign of a dark tail breaking the water's surface. He also listened for the familiar squeaks and chirps that the mermaid like to greet him with. He would wait for hours if he had to, but the fact remained that he would wait for as long as it took.

However, no one showed.

Eren groaned in frustration, watching as the sun moved further and further overhead. At one point, he even must have fallen asleep for a bit, because the next thing he remembered was his mother waking him up and telling him it was time for lunch. However, he wouldn't leave.

" _What if he comes while I'm not here?"_ Eren explained.

Seeing the desperation in his eyes, Carla had relented, and let him have his lunch on the dock. And later, his dinner as well. When the sun began to set, Eren was still waiting, but Carla was telling him it was time to go in.

Eren followed her dejectedly, agreeing, but telling her he was going to come back out first thing in the morning again, staring at the dock dejectedly as he walked away from it.

True to his word, Eren returned to the beach the next day. And the next, and the next, and the day after that. However, his friend didn't show. Half of the summer passed, three quarters, and then the whole thing, and Eren hadn't seen hide nor hair of him.

"He promised," he whispered to himself, standing on the dock his last day there that summer and ignoring the sprinkling of raindrops that had started, "He promised he'd come back."

Something bad had happened to his friend, he just knew it. And the worst part was, there was no way to find out what, or if he was even still alive. That thought alone made tears run down Eren's face right there on the dock, and made him shiver under the weight of his grief.

"It's not fair," he whispered to himself, "He told me he'd stay safe. He told me we'd play again this summer. It's not _fair."_

So for that summer, Eren remained alone, yet he retained against all logic, a spark of hope, that the small mermaid would return, that he had just lost his way to the beach somehow, or gotten held up. But for each summer that passed with no sight of him, that spark of hope grew dimmer and dimmer. Until, with a heavy heart, the boy had to accept it.

He was never going to see his mermaid friend again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Welcome to another fic! I hope you've enjoyed the first chapter so far. I've been planning this fic since I was typing the last third of Federkleid, and it was inspired by several things. First of all, I'm a huge animal nerd, and this fic is going to let me explode that love and knowledge for critters all over the place, lol. Second of all, I've read many mermaid Ereri fics and wanted to take my own shot at it, but the main fic I'd say inspired this this one was 30 by A26. However, I will try my very hardest to make sure this fic is not too similar to that one. This fic is also a culmination of merLevi headcanons between myself and GammaRays, so I must give her half of the credit for this mess lol.
> 
> Many of the songs that I listened to and will help shape this fic are from the Lilo and Stitch soundtrack, and the entirety of the Moana soundtrack. Just think of Eren as Moana in this fic haha! The title of this fic is taken from the title of a Nightwish song, and so is the title of this chapter.
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon! I hope you all enjoy this ride!


	2. Prologue: I Have to Let You Go

The surface of the open sea was quiet today. There was nothing but rolling waves for miles with seagulls and other ocean birds flying overhead, keeping a look out for any scraps that might be floating on the surface. One even chanced landing in the water to rest, and then regretted it a second later when an excited pale blur leaped from the water just beside it, scaring the shrieking bird into flight once more.

The pale shape did a twist in the air, before crashing back into the water, unable to keep the grin off of his face. He leaped into the air, one more time, still trying to get his excited energy out and failing, before he swam back to rejoin his mother.

"Are we getting close, mama?" he asked her once he was by her side again.

"Yes, but we still have another day before we reach Shinganshina," she said patiently, "If we keep up this pace, you'll see the beach by this time tomorrow."

"But I promised Eren I'd be there first thing in the morning!" the little mermaid whined, "We have to go faster!"

"My son, if you go any faster, you'll be too worn out by the evening to wriggle a finger, and then I'll have to carry you, and then we won't get anywhere fast," Kuchel warned him teasingly.

"But mama"-

"We're going as fast as we can, my little star," she assured him with a long suffering smile, "You'll see Eren soon, don't worry."

He returned her grin, twice as bright, his whole body wiggling with anticipation. "We better! Because I've been practicing my jumps, and I'll bet I could jump clear over him now. You think he'll be impressed?"

"Yes, I know he'll be impressed."

"Oh, maybe I should pick up another conch shell on the way? He loved those last time."

"If you see one, sure, I don't see why not."

"Just wait until he sees how big I've gotten too!"

Kuchel sighed. "Do children ever get tired of talking? Because"-

"Because I get tired of listening to you," he finished, snickering.

Kuchel rolled her eyes, before she sidled up beside him closer, grabbed him, and began tickling him, causing him to break out into peals of laughter and trying to push her hands away.

"Hey, can't you shut that thing up?" came a voice from up ahead.

Kuchel glared at the older female mermaid who was glaring right back at them from the pod swimming just slightly ahead of them. She then shifted her narrowed eyes to the excited pup following Kuchel, who cowered slightly under her gaze.

"That abomination is a waste of oxygen anyway," the female continued derisively, the other members of the pod now nodding in agreement, "There's no need for him to waste it any faster."

Kuchel's son hugged her side a little closer, lowering his gaze. Sadly, he was used to her cruel words, and the cruel words of every other mermaid they happened to come in contact with. It didn't mean that they still didn't hurt, of course.

Seeing her little pup deflate, the mother mermaid puffed up, bearing her teeth and growling, "Quiet you old hag. Male or not, he's my pup. I carried him, I birthed him, and I love him just as much as you've loved all of the daughters you've raised in your lifetime."

"Your mistake," the older mermaid scoffed, "You know the tradition. And there's a good reason why it exists."

The young mermaid flinched, feeling his heart race with fear when she said those words. However, Kuchel wasn't going to hear any more of this.

"Enough!" she snarled, "You want someone to die so badly, I'll tear out a hole in your tail and leave you for the sharks."

The other mermaid allowed a tense moment of silence pass between them, before she rolled her eyes, muttered something unsavory under her breath that neither Kuchel nor her child heard, and turned back to the others. Kuchel wrapped an arm around the small mermaid, hugging him close to her body and stroking his hair, before saying, "Don't you listen to a word of that. It's not true, none of it."

"I know," he said, "But, mama, if it weren't for me, you'd be able to swim in the pod with them. You wouldn't be stuck back here."

His mother waved a hand dismissively, and assured him, "I'd rather be back here with my precious pup than with a bunch of bunch of judgmental old crabs any day."

He shrugged. "I don't know how you can say that."

She smiled sweetly at him, turned her head and kissed him on the forehead, and answered, "That's a mother's love, my little star. We love our pups no matter what. Just accept that you're stuck with me, alright?

Her words made a tiny smile cross his lips, and it only grew bigger when she added, "And besides, I know a little human boy who is going to be very excited to see you tomorrow. He's your good friend, and shouldn't his opinion and mine be the only ones that matter?"

He opened his mouth to answer her, but before he could say anything, he heard a loud, rumbling sound passing by them a few hundred yards away. It was a boat, from the sound of it, and a good sized one at that. Large boats in this area tended to move slowly, and they tended to carry lots and lots of people. His heart began to pound in excitement, and he couldn't resist taking a closer look.

"So don't worry about what they have to say," Kuchel was still saying, "Just keep your chin up, or if they really make you mad, between you and me, I won't stop you from taking a bite out of their"-

It was then that Kuchel looked down at her side to see that her son was no longer swimming beside her. She halted, glancing around her, panicking for a moment, until she heard the boat as well, and heard a great ruckus of muffled chattering in the boat's direction. She groaned, putting two and two together, and started swimming towards the boat.

When she finally surfaced a dozen or so yards away, she right away noticed her son had ventured very close to the boat, close enough that he had attracted quite a bit of attention from the people aboard. In fact, it seemed he had attracted _all_ of the attention, and though the boat wasn't as big as it had sounded, there were still quite a few people on board. A whole family, it looked like. All of them were smiling huge smiles, clearly getting a kick out of her pup's antics. He was swimming around and under the boat, clicking and chuffing little greetings. When a couple of human children came close to the edge and put their hands in the water, he swam right up underneath them, brushing his back against their fingers, causing them to squeal with glee. He then popped up a few feet away, holding up his tail for the people to look at.

Kuchel stayed where she was for a bit, treading water and sighing fondly as she watched. She didn't know where her son got his fascination with humans from, but as long as he was careful, she supposed she couldn't see the harm in it. Especially when it was making all of those people on the boat so happy.

There was even a dog on the boat that came to investigate, leaning over the edge, tail wagging. The small mermaid of course had to investigate, because he had never met a dog before. The mother mermaid felt her grin growing bigger and bigger as she watched her little one approach cautiously, before he stretched up and touched noses with the creature. The dog's tail began to wag harder, and it licked his face. Her son jumped at the surprise, but then began to giggle happily. He chirpped like a little song bird, leaning over to touch noses with the dog again, causing all the people on the boat to laugh. Kuchel even heard one of them say, "He really likes Misty."

After that, she decided it was time for them to go. After all, if they wanted to make it to Shinganshina by tomorrow morning, they still had a lot of ground to cover, and they couldn't afford any more distractions. Kuchel called her son's name, causing both him and the humans on the boat to look at her. He pouted and his shoulders drooped, knowing his fun was over, and the humans gasped in wonder. Nonetheless, her little pup soon swam back over to her side, but he couldn't resist one last wave towards the boat, to which the people on the boat waved back at him, before they dove back under the water.

"You need to be careful," she told him as they swam deeper down, "Not all humans are that kind."

"I know, I know," her son said, rolling his eyes, "I get it. I was stuck in a trap last year, I remember. I'm careful mama, don't worry. But I doubt a boat with little humans in it is going to be full of mean people."

No, Kuchel thought to herself, he doesn't understand. Humans could be horribly cruel, not just to mermaids, but other creatures as well. They weren't all bad of course, but it was hard to tell the bad ones from the good ones sometimes. Then again, mermaids could be horribly cruel as well, and she doubted her son would ever be able to fit into their society. Perhaps humans were his best bet after all. Maybe making friends with humans, who had both males and females among their kind, was the better option for him.

Speaking of the other mermaids, once they got a little deeper, they realized that they had lost the pod.

"Oh no," Kuchel breathed, "They're gone."

The small mermaid glanced around them, and saw that they were indeed alone. Guilt welled up in him fiercely, and he began apologizing. "I'm so sorry, it's my fault, if I hadn't"-

"No, now stop," his mother interrupted, "They were probably waiting for a chance to leave us behind. It's alright. We'll think of something."

They remained there for a moment, floating in the vast blue, empty space, before her little pup's ears pricked at a familiar sound. "Mama, do you hear that?" he exclaimed.

Kuchel strained her ears, until she heard the distant squeaks and whistles as well. "I do. Sounds like dolphins."

"We could travel with them, couldn't we?" he suggested.

She looked down thoughtfully, and said slowly, "I don't know…We don't even know if they're heading towards Shinganshina or not."

"Even if we stayed behind them," he insisted, "It's better than traveling alone. Besides, we can always break away when get there. Please?"

Kuchel sighed. Her son loved dolphins and whales, and frankly she couldn't blame him. Besides humans, they were the only other intelligent beings that he could interact and play with that didn't shun him. As long as the dolphins were okay with them being there, she didn't see anything wrong with it.

"Fine, let's go find them," she exhaled heavily, and he wiggled with glee before hugging her tightly.

"Thank you!" he squealed, and raced off ahead of her.

"Hold on, wait for me!" she called after him, before swimming to catch up.

They found the dolphins in no time, and after a quick chat with the leader of the pod, they were given the okay to travel with them, causing her pup to squeal with glee and immediately seek out the calves, asking them if they wanted to play. Of course they did, and they all started chasing him, weaving in and among the adults as they clicked and whistled with joy.

They traveled like that for a few hundred miles, the only excitement being a shark that had tried to pick off one of the calves at one point, but her son had wrestled it off, tearing through half of its gills in the process and causing it to swim away, blood trailing behind it. When everything settled, he found himself surrounded by several members of the pod, who clicked approvingly and rubbed their bodies against his. He soon found himself blushing when the mother of the calf came up to him and started thanking him over and over again for saving her baby. However, the blush turned even brighter when his mother swam up to him and kissed his forehead in front of all of the other dolphins, telling him brave she was, how strong he was, and how lucky she was to have him.

"You see?" she insisted, "Those mermaids were wrong. If you hadn't been here, who knows what might have happened."

He just blushed even harder, and mumbled, "Well, I'm not ever going to let anyone hurt my friends. That's what friends do, right? They protect each other."

"That's right," she agreed with a nod, "I'm so proud of you my little star. You'll make lots of friends, and you'll keep them, with beliefs like that."

She nuzzled him again, and her pup let her this time, leaning into it for a moment, before he wiggled away, going back to join the calves and initiate a new game.

After that, they traveled without incident for a couple of hours, Kuchel bonding with the other mother dolphins, finding out which ones already had calves and which ones were pregnant with calves. She warned the expectant mothers what they were in for, giving her own child a fond look, and overall, she had to agree, travelling with the dolphins was a far more enjoyable experience than with the other mermaids. She even found out that the pod was heading directly past Shinganshina, and said they'd be happy to guide them there and see them off. Kuchel thanked them profusely for their kindness, unable to believe their luck.

At the peak of her happiness, however, all of a sudden they heard a strange noise overhead. A rumbling, droning noise, unlike anything she had ever heard. It sounded like a boat, but not; the rumbling was more choppy, less continuous, than a boat. Worried, Kuchel found herself looking over her shoulder, but finding to her relief that yes, her son was still with the pod, but he had also lifted his head, clearly having heard the strange noise as well.

"What is that?" Kuchel found herself asking the dolphin next to her.

"Probably a boat," it told her simply, and continued swimming.

Kuchel furrowed her brow, unconvinced. She broke away, swimming over to her pup, and telling him, "I'm going to check the surface, see what that is. Stay here with the pod, okay?"

He opened his mouth to protest at first, but at seeing her stern glare, he nodded reluctantly, and stayed put as she began to swim away. Kuchel reached the surface a minute later, poking her head above the water and into the open air. She scanned her surroundings, seeing nothing on the water that could be making such a sound. But then, she realized the sound was coming from above them, and she tilted her head back to see a huge machine in the air. It was still quite far away for now, but she could see it was descending, getting closer to the water a little at a time, and something huge spinning around the top of it was beating the air and making that odd chopping noise. Now, once in a while Kuchel had seen machines like these, but they were usually no more than tiny dots in the far distance. They never came this close to the water, not usually.

Something was wrong.

Quickly she went back under, rejoining the pod and sidling up beside her child. "I don't like this," she told him, "It's a human air machine making that noise, and it's much closer to the water than I've ever seen them be. It'll be on top of us soon. We should see if we can find someplace safe."

Just then, suddenly, the noise became exponentially louder, almost like the machine was going to land on top of them. Powerful winds from the machine began to buffet the surface of the water, causing waves that came up behind them and rocked the whole pod. Kuchel and her child twisted around from the force, and when they recovered, they saw that the pod had begun to flee, shrieking. A few of the dolphins smacked into them, urging them to move, and, terrified, they did.

"What's happening?" her little one wondered frantically.

"I don't know," the mother mermaid answered, "Just keep following the dolphins. Don't lose them, and don't lose sight of me. Stay with me, okay?"

"…Okay," he said, very unsure.

They kept going at that steady pace for a while, the pod reforming once they got over the initial shock, though they reformed so that they were closer together, moving as a single, packed ball. It was actually getting harder to move effectively, but it meant they were safer if they were all close together. It meant the threat would have a harder time attacking them. At least that was the theory.

Suddenly a sharp, short explosion sounded behind them, so loud and so forceful, that it created a pressure wave that pulsed outward and struck them like a physical blow. It made her have to stop and cover her ears, and looking over at her child, she saw that he was doing the same thing. Kuchel then chanced a look over her shoulder, and she could see that something was being shot into the water that was creating all of that noise.

Another one of the noisy objects was dropped into the water, landing very close to the pod, and when it exploded, it released a deafening, high pitched ringing sound that made the entire pod turn left, screaming and crying and whistling in panic as they tried to escape the horrible sound.

Everyone except her pup.

He had frozen in place, his muscles paralyzed with his terror, his eyes clenched shut as he screamed and curled in on himself. It was as if some deep instinct was commanding him to stay still so that the threat would go away and leave him alone. Kuchel gasped; the pod was leaving them behind, and _her_ instincts were telling her to stay with the group. If they got left behind, whatever was attacking them would attack the stragglers. That's how it always worked out here. She shook her head, trying to get the ringing out of her ears as she swam up to her child, placing her hands on his shoulders and shaking him.

"My love," she called out, "Come on now, open your eyes. Look at me."

Her son couldn't hear her though. Not exactly. He could hear her voice, but couldn't understand what she was saying, as her tone was severely muffled. However, her eyes were wide, and she was shaking him, nudging him, trying to get him to move. But he _couldn't_ , and he didn't know why. Terror had locked his muscles, frozen his voice, and made him just want to curl in on himself and wait for whatever was coming for them just leap on him and kill him.

But his mother wasn't going to let him give up.

She seemed to understand that something was wrong with her pup, because she quickly moved so that he was on her back, guided his hands to rest on her collarbone, before she gripped them tightly, and began to race forward.

Her son's hearing gradually began to return in slow, syrupy waves as they rejoined the dolphins. Their squeaks began to filter in, and so did his awareness. He registered that his mother was letting him ride on her back, something she hadn't let him do since he was very small and could barely keep up with the adult mermaids. He registered that the explosions were still occurring behind them, and that they were moving very fast, but very fast where, he didn't know. All he knew he wanted to do was to close his eyes and pretend what was happening wasn't happening, so he did just that.

For one blessed moment, his surroundings disappeared, and he imagined he was back in Shinganshina, that he and Eren were playing around the dock, or that the two of them were sitting side by side on some rocks in the water, watching the sunset, their bodies pressed alongside each other. Eren's eyes were bright and gilded with orange, smiling a smile that made the little mermaid's heart flutter because it was so pretty, saw him tapping at his pendant and sealing a promise that he'd return for another summer of play.

 _Please let this end,_ he begged silently, _Eren's waiting for me. I promised him. I promised him I'd stay safe, and he's waiting for me…_

But the respite couldn't last. Soon enough his surroundings filtered back in, and Eren's smiling face and the sounds of their laughter disappeared, replaced once again by the sounds of the scared dolphins, the machine above their heads, and the shrieking of the projectiles being dropped into the water that kept driving them forward, but towards where, none of them knew.

However, it soon became apparent as the sand underneath them grew closer and closer. They were being herded towards land, where they'd be completely helpless in the shallows. But members of the pod were too scared to break away and head back out towards deeper water, and frankly, the small mermaid couldn't blame them. He also was too scared to go anywhere, but also too scared to remain on their same course. All he could do was grip his mother tighter, and hope beyond hope that they would all live through this.

He watched the sand under them rise higher and higher, until it was scraping the bellies of some of the dolphins. The small mermaid saw land rise up on both sides of them as they were driven up into a narrow channel. It was here that the noise of the large human machine faded away, and he guessed that it had stopped following them. When that became apparent, everyone slowed down a bit, especially the calves, who were already so tired that they could barely move anymore. The adults had moved them all to the center of the pod to keep them safer, shielding them with their own bodies. They all hovered their uncertainly for a bit, not sure what was going to happen; some of them seemed to be looking for escape routes, others were offering reassuring clicks to the calves.

But then, they heard another noise coming up both from behind them.

Something scraped along the shoreline on either side of them, followed by a strange but sharp clapping sound, and the unmistakable sounds of several boat motors approaching. The boats didn't appear to be very big, and they were carrying people in them, people that were shouting over the sides, and banging objects together, anything to create noise and frighten them into moving again. Shockingly, the mermaid noticed that other pods of dolphins were being funneled into the channel as well, all of them crying and whistling loud enough to make everyone's ears bleed. They didn't stop filing in until there were at least a hundred of them, and he couldn't even tell who belonged to which pod anymore.

Of course, they all started to move again to get away from the noise and the boats, knowing that if they stay in place they risked being run over, and began to swim towards the shore. The small mermaid's gut sunk to the bottom of his tail; if they went any further, they were all going to be beached up there. And apparently, the dolphins and his mother were having the same thoughts, because as soon as the shore was no more than a few feet away, they all halted, and began swimming back towards the boats. If they made it away with a few lacerations from the motors, that was okay, as long as they could get out.

But it was too late.

They were forced to halt again when they saw that a net had been draped across the channel, dropped from the boats to prevent their escape. A few of the dolphins pressed their beaks against it, testing to see how firmly it held. Unfortunately, all it did was stretch a bit against the pressure, but otherwise held fast. The land was ahead, and a net behind, with the boats a little ways away.

They were trapped.

A couple more boats ventured from the opposite shoreline and began to rumble their way towards them, thoroughly terrifying the dolphins all over again. A couple of them, to the mermaid's shock, began to leap over the nets, trying to break out. A few of them actually made it over, and began a mad dash for freedom, only for the waiting boats to rev up their engines and frighten them back over the net again. One still kept going, and was promptly shot at by one of the humans on board the boat. Blood began to float up from a wound in the dolphin's head, by which it twitched for a bit, and then stilled.

The mermaid and his mother covered their mouths in horror, which only intensified when they saw that a couple of the dolphins who had tried to get away before over the net had entangled themselves in it instead. One of them had their tail trapped, the other their dorsal fin.

"I'm going to help them," his mother said.

"I will too, but I need air first," the young mermaid told her.

She nodded, kissed him on the forehead quickly, murmured, "Please be careful," and dove.

Kuchel's son darted quickly to the surface, along with several other dolphins who needed to breathe, exhaling explosively once his head broke through and met the air. Once there, he saw that the boats that had taken off from the shore were closing in, and that each one of these boats were also filled with humans, at least four or five each. They all held giant, shiny, sharp sticks in their hands, and when some of the dolphins surfaced near their boats, they struck them with their sticks. Blood began to pour from their wounds, and the mermaid, gasping in fear, quickly dove before one of those boats saw him.

He swam frantically to the bottom, looking to see his mother trying to untangle one of the dolphins that had gotten stuck, and decided to go and help another one a few feet away. Even more had gotten stuck as they tried to look for a way out, one of them being a calf, whose mother was already trying desperately trying to chew the netting away from her baby's body. He got on the other side of her, using his dexterous fingers to pull away at the netting he could, and then untangling the rest, freeing the calf. The mother dolphin flashed him a grateful look, before she helped to nudge her calf to the surface for a much needed breath. The mermaid allowed himself a moment of satisfaction, before he swam down a little further to help his mother, seeing that she was still struggling with her first dolphin, working at one side while she worked at the other.

However, for this dolphin, it would appear that they would be too late. Kuchel's son watched as it fought for a few moments, before seeing that it was still hopelessly stuck. Giving up, it flashed the mermaids a regretful but thankful look, before it opened its blowhole and let its lungs fill with water, slowly going limp.

The small mermaid kept trying to pull apart the netting, even when his mother told him, "Sweetheart, he's gone. I'm sorry."

"No!" he cried, "We can still- there's still"-

"My little star…come."

"No! No!"

Kuchel pulled him away, even as he screamed and writhed, trying to stay and help, even if he knew she was right and that it was too late. He couldn't help it, and she knew that. Her son's heart was far too big, too soft with youth. What he would witness today would scar him forever, she knew, and she hated that he had to see it.

Little did they both know that it was about to get even worse. For looking up towards the surface of the water, they noticed that it had been stained entirely red.

They halted abruptly, seeing that the cloud of red was even blotting out some of the sunlight, preventing it from permeating the water. There were dolphins floating near the surface, having just been killed, and some of them being dragged out of the water and towards the shore. Many of the dolphins were writhing in the blood filled water, screaming and pushing closer together. Some of the pregnant dolphins were in the middle of aborting their half-formed calves, their bodies trying desperately to get rid of the extra weight in order to preserve their own lives. Some were vomiting, others were biting at each other to get out of the way. Even more were trying to hop back over the net, only to be killed by the waiting boats or pushed back over.

"We're all going to die," the little mermaid whispered in horror, "They're going to kill us all!"

"No we're not," she promised him, pulling him close. She cupped his face in her hands, forcing his wide, panicking eyes to meet hers, "We're not going to die. I'm not going to let them touch you, do you hear me? As long as you stay with me, we'll be okay."

He whimpered, but her familiar voice was doing wonders to help stop his racing thoughts, the same voice who over and over again had sung him to sleep and told him how special he was to her, was telling him that it would be okay. Of course it would. She wouldn't lie to him. He nodded shakily, and she stroked his cheeks with her thumbs.

"Okay," she murmured, "There you go, that's it. That's my little star. Now, you and I are going to work on finding a way out of here. We're going to get out of here, and then we're going to keep going to Shinganshina, where I'm sure Eren is already there and waiting on the dock for you. Can't disappoint him, can you?"

He laughed, pushing his forehead up against his mother's, and chuffed. She chuffed back, soft and reassuring.

"Now come on," she said, "Let's go up for air, and then we'll think of something."

He nodded, keeping himself pressed against her body as he followed her up, picking a place where it wasn't as heavily populated with boats. However, the entire place was packed tightly with dolphins, and they had to jostle their way up, even climb over other dolphins to make it to the surface. Kuchel had to push several dolphins out of the way because her son wasn't strong enough to make them move.

Once they made it and gulped down more air, the small mermaid took a moment to observe his surroundings, and the horror sank in a little more. The entire surface was covered in blood, collecting on the living dolphin's bodies and settling over their closed blow holes. Some of the dying ones next to the boats were still struggling to breathe, blood spraying into the air every time they exhaled. Looking over to the shore, he saw that there were several dead dolphins that had been pulled onto the land, but several others that were still twitching out their death throes on the beach, left to suffocate and bleed out. Licking his lips, the mermaid could even taste blood there, and he immediately wanted to vomit.

Yet, the horror only increased, when he observed one of the small boats making their way over to them. His heart began to race when a couple of them men hopped out, the water rising up to their hips.

"You said they want us to pen these ones off and separate them out?" one of the ones walking over to them asked his friend.

"Yup," the other man answered, "Males from the females. The parks prefer females."

The pup watched as they walked closer and closer, one of them armed with one of those sharp sticks. They stretched the net across between the two of them, laying it down in the water, trapping the mermaids in further with the small group of dolphins. Once that was done, they reached in and began examining the dolphins, checking for gender, keeping the females in the pen and working to haul the males out of the netted area and into the channel, where the others waiting in the boats speared them.

He gulped, watching as the humans grew closer and closer, and froze completely when one poked him with its sharp stick, and froze when it got a good look at him. He saw fear twist the human's face, perhaps knowing how their songs incapacitated human men, and lifted its stick, preparing to thrust it forward. The mermaid stared at him helplessly, seeing his own death in the human's eyes, and all he could do was close his eyes, whimper pathetically, and hope it would be quick.

However, the blow never came.

He did hear the sickening sound of flesh tearing, but it wasn't his own. He did hear a pained squeal, but it wasn't his own. And he did feel blood drip onto his chest, but it wasn't his own.

The small mermaid opened his eyes slowly to see that it was instead his mother who had taken the blow, seeing what was about to happen and leaping in front of him. The stick had run her through the abdomen completely, the tip sticking out her front as she faced her pup, whose face had gone white with shock. His eyes were wide, and he was shaking his head, trying to deny what he was seeing right in front on him. This was a bad dream, that was all. It couldn't be real. Something so horrible just couldn't be real.

He barely registered as his mother slowly looked up at him, her eyes full of resignation at her fate, but there wasn't a trace of regret. _A mother's love_ , she had told him earlier today. It was why she had done everything she had for him. It was why she hadn't killed him at birth, despite the traditions of their kind. It was why she had given up her place in the pod, risked being out-casted for the rest of her life, and had ultimately, chosen to take a spear to the heart. All for him.

"Mama," he gasped, placing his hands on her shoulders, holding her as the man pulled his spear out of her body, trying to look into her face, "Mama, please don't…"

"My little star," she croaked, blood leaking out of the corners of her mouth. Her gaze was blackening rapidly, but that was alright. Her pup was all she could see now.

"Don't leave me," he begged, as if his words alone could keep him with her, "Don't leave me, mama, don't go!"

She smiled tremulously, but brightly, genuinely, reaching up with a shaking hand to stroke her son's face one last time, "Don't cry. You have such a pretty smile."

"Mama?" he said, confused.

"Keep smiling," she said breathily, "Find the one that'll love you as much as I do, and smile for them. _Sing for them_. I'll be with you, alright? But you have to let me go now."

"Please…please…"

But no matter how much he pleaded, he couldn't stop the light from going out of her eyes. He couldn't keep the most important being in his life's heart beating. And without her, his already difficult life in a difficult world was going to become nearly impossible.

She went limp against him, and he was left holding her body, left to keep her remaining warmth close as his eyes filled with tears over her shoulder. But he wouldn't be allowed to mourn. Not for a long time. The two humans were arguing over his head over the fact that he had killed a mermaid, and that they could have used her, and "What were you thinking!? We could have been set for life if we had sold her to the marine park!"

"Now hold on!" the other one was saying, "Look, there's another one!"

They glanced down at the small mermaid, still cradling his mother's body close. One of the men furrowed his brows as it sized him up. "Let me take a good look at it," he said, and borrowing his friend's spear, pushed Kuchel's body off of her son's.

The tiny mermaid couldn't even stop it from happening. All he could do was squeak, frozen with terror and grief, as his mother's body slid from his arms, fell into the water beside him with a splash that was like death knell to his heart, before she disappeared under the writhing mass of panicking dolphin bodies, never to be seen again.

His only source of protection gone, he had no choice but to let them examine him, but luckily they seemed too afraid to touch him still. Their scrutinizing glares and their bodies covered in blood made him remain still with terror, except for the fact that he shook, and couldn't seem to stop.

His blood only ran colder when they grinned and glanced at each other, sharing a knowing look, before looking back to the small, orphaned mermaid.

"Oh yes," one of them said, "You're going to give us a big payday, you are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is taken from the song that inspired this chapter, starting at the point where they hear the helicopter in the sky. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1Yw-l9C2TE


	3. We Know Who We Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter, especially for the first scene, I'd recommend you listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubZrAmRxy_M as it is also this chapter's namesake. Enjoy!

**Thirteen Years Later**

The sun beat down on the beach in Shinganshina, ushering in the unofficial start of summer. The sea was once again, issuing a siren call towards any soul wandering close, calling people in with its crashing waves, salty spray, humid air, damp sand, and crying gulls.

And as always, Eren was helplessly pulled in by its spell.

He had once again left his parents' beach house at dawn with, as usual, nothing but his swim trunks and his pendant around his neck. The chord was a little faded and the gemstone a little scratched, but he still wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, and it looked just as beautiful in the dawn light now as it did then. The only differences this time were, one, he was not alone on the beach, and two, he was fairly certain his parents would not have allowed him to go windsurfing when he was nine, and they most definitely wouldn't have let him go when it was still mostly dark outside. Hell, he technically wasn't supposed to be going now either.

But it had become his and his best friend Mikasa's (who he had met shortly after entering middle school) favorite thing to do when she came with him on their vacations. So here they were, dragging their boards out at sunrise, shushing each other like a pair of children who knew they were being naughty and trying not to get caught. But they couldn't help it. The breeze was fantastic right now, and the waves were just as great. When they plunged into the surf, they only allowed themselves a moment of muffled swearing at how cold the water was, before they dragged their boards out deeper, getting ready for the waves to come. And come they did.

As soon as Eren felt that telltale kick in the breeze, he got up on his board, let out his sail, and hung onto the bar, feeling the pull in every one of his muscles as he steered against the wind. And when he really got going, he allowed himself to feel everything he had missed out on: his hair being blown back, the wind roaring in his ears, the adrenaline rush as he quite literally fought against nature, winning for a moment before the wind and water threatened to knock him over. And best of all, he got to share it with his best friend. He looked over his shoulder to see that she was a few yards away from him, close enough that he could see her thighs and biceps flexing as she fought for control with her sail, as well as her elated expression, but far enough away that they wouldn't crash into each other.

A wave bigger than the others found his board, and he found himself gripping the bar on his sail, bracing his stance so that his muscles stood out on his entire body, and hopping right through it. As the water sprayed him in the face when he landed, he couldn't help it; the endorphins that he never thought he'd feel again were flooding his body, and he laughed joyfully, feeling like he had the first time he had every tried windsurfing all over again, hearing Mikasa echoing that laughter behind him.

Reunited with the sea after being away from it for five years, he felt like he knew who he was again.

Soon enough, the sun began to rise, and the breeze began to die down as the temperature seemed to even out, marking the end of the best surfing and letting them know it was time to head inside before his parents woke up and started worrying about him, though he was sure they could guess where they were. They hauled their boards onto the beach, shaking stray droplets out of their hair. Eren's was currently sticking up in every direction, as usual, while Mikasa's short hair was held back in a tiny ponytail. The young man was still out of breath, his shoulders heaving slightly from their exertions all morning.

"Well, I'm ready to go back to bed now," he half joked.

"Oh boy are you out of shape," Mikasa pointed out, "We're going to have to do this lots more, build your endurance back up."

"Well, as much as we can before my internship starts," he pointed out. He halted for a moment, struggling with his board against the wet sand.

"Oh, that's right!" she exclaimed, helping him pull his board up the beach, as well as pulling her own, "What day does that start again?"

"Tomorrow, actually," he stated, surprising himself by how much time had passed already.

"And it's at the Sina Aquarium?"

"Yes."

"And are you going to live down there or…?"

Eren huffed a laugh. "No, it's only a forty minute drive. I can make the commute. Besides, I don't feel comfortable leaving my mom alone. I know she technically doesn't need me, but I don't know. I always worry about her. My dad isn't there as much as he used to be, you know."

"She has Fern," Mikasa reassured him.

"Yes…" Eren sighed, "I guess…I just want to be home for a while too. Reconnect with my family again after, um, after being away so long."

Their steps slowed, and then stopped in the long grass, still far away from the beach house. Mikasa let go of their boards and turned to face him, her face opening up into an expression of deep concern. She opened her mouth to say something, but Eren interrupted her before she could.

"Surfing with you was a big help," he said quickly, "I feel better already. Reconnecting with the sea and everything, feeling its power, it's comforting. Being with you, it reminded me of when we were kids. This whole place does. Only time will help, and distance. And I'm getting both."

She regarded him steadily for several long moments, as if trying to gauge whether or not he was lying to her. When she deemed that he wasn't, Mikasa asked in a low voice, "He hasn't been texting you again has he?"

Eren shook his head. "Not for a couple weeks. Hopefully he's given up finally."

"He better have," she growled, her expression darkening, "I still think you should go to court and press charges against his ass. Get a restraining order against him or something."

He exhaled heavily, looking everywhere but at her. "I know, you and my dad both. But I"-

"You want him out of your life, you're done with him ruining it, I know," Mikasa cut him off, "But Eren"-

"Mikasa. Please let it go," Eren begged her tiredly, "I've made my decision and I'm happy with it even if no one else is. Besides, if he shows up on my door he risks getting his ass handed to him by a five foot nothing deaf lady and I doubt his ego would be able to handle that."

Mikasa let out a breath, and finally relented, "Well, he better stay away if he knows what's good for him. If not your mom, then _I'll_ chuck his balls into the asteroid belt."

Eren snorted, and nudged her shoulder with his. "I know. And see, this is why I missed you. Besides, I'm free now and that's that. Got the tattoo to prove it and everything."

"Oh yeah!" she exclaimed, her expression brightening. "Hold still, let me see it."

He laughed, and did as she asked, straightening up his back and tilting his head forward as she wandered around to his back, her grin growing when she actually got a look at the tattoo. He had snapped a picture of it soon after he had gotten it about a month ago, back when it was still red and irritated, and sent it to her, captioning it with, "Thought I'd mark a new beginning in my life by getting this. Guess I really am a free little bird now :)." It was a pair of wings that crossed at the tips, one dark and the other light. The longest bottom tips ended in elegant curls that stretched just short of Eren's ribs. A few bubbles were scattered around the wings as well, making Mikasa smile.

"Wow," she said, "This looks much better in the natural daylight versus a photo."

"Yeah," Eren grinned, "And it's pretty much done peeling now."

"I think you're right," she agreed, and then leaned in closer, narrowing her eyes as she noticed something else about the tattoo. "Hang on…oh my gosh, the shaded wing! Those are all"-

"Yeah," Eren grinned even bigger, "Pretty cool huh?"

Looking closer, Mikasa saw that the darker wing in fact was dark because each feather was filled in with the image of a different sea animal, everything from a manta ray, to a humpback whale, to a tiger shark, to a sea lion, an otter, several conch shells, a dolphin, and of course, with a mermaid right in the middle. A mermaid with dark, sharp eyes, she couldn't help but notice. All of Eren's favorite animals, she remembered, creatures that made up a large part of his identity. Creatures now etched into his skin that would follow him forever, keeping him strong and reminding him every day what he lived for.

"I like it," she said, straightening up and coming back around to his front, "You know, I've almost been thinking of getting a tattoo too. Maybe something on my ankle. I'm not sure what yet though. What do you think?"

He let Mikasa pick up both of their boards again, continuing on their way back to the beach house, his spirits lifting. For the first time in several years, the clouds of anxiety, doubt, and pain had lifted, leaving everything warm and bright again.

000

Eren was disappointed that they didn't get to stay at their beach house for the entire summer as usual, but that disappointment was quickly replaced by excitement when he remembered exactly was he getting up for at five in the morning that next day. He had told his mother that she didn't need to come back with him, that he could get himself up and out the door like a big boy and that she could stay on the beach and keep enjoying herself, but she insisted on seeing him off that morning. Said it was a mom thing, even when he rolled his eyes and shook his head fondly.

So here he was, jumping out of the shower and into a pair of khaki shorts and a dark green shirt that sported the aquarium's logo on the top of the front as well as the back, which was a whale's tail against a setting sun with "Sina Aquarium: Rescue and Rehabilitation Center" written under it in bright orange letters. After picking up his pendant from where it normally rested (on a pile of carefully arranged conch shells), clasping it and adjusting it so that the gemstone sat nicely on his collarbone, he made his way into the kitchen. Granted his stomach was filled to the brim with nerves, but he supposed he should try and force something down his throat or he was going to be sorry for it later.

He padded in quietly, and smiled when he saw Fern laying on her cushion in the corner of the room. Her ears pricked when she saw him enter, but she didn't lift her head until Eren walked over to her and scratched under her chin, wherein her stump of a tail started wagging as well.

"You'll take good care of mom while dad and I aren't here, won't you kid," he said.

She licked his wrist in answer, and he leaned over further to kiss her head, before going over to start his breakfast.

He was eternally grateful that his dad had talked his mom into getting a service dog when he was transferred to a different hospital further away. Not only was Fern invaluable to helping Carla and allowed her much more independence, but Eren knew she also enjoyed the company while her husband was working and her son had first moved away five years ago. And honestly, Eren thought Australian Shepherds were underrated as service dogs. Perhaps because they were so energetic, but Carla was an energetic person, so it matched, and she had fallen in love with the little red merle puppy at first sight.

He sat down with his breakfast, enjoying the quiet. It had been a long time since he had even remotely this peaceful, but slowly, being in his childhood home again was doing wonders to loosen the shackles of anxiety. However, the moment he took a bite of his bagel, he felt it resurge again, a voice that sounded disturbingly like _his_ voice telling him that he shouldn't be eating this, that it was full of carbs and it was make him gain weight that. _"I'm not going to be dating some fat cow_. _Now you're going to have to spend all morning running to burn that shit off._ "

His heart raced, and he almost automatically spat out the bagel. _Stop it_ , he commanded himself, and forcefully swallowed his mouthful, though the pounding in his chest didn't cease. He could feel sweat prickling along his hairline and along his spine, but before he could spiral down anymore, he felt a cold, wet nose poking his arm. Eren looked down to see Fern gazing up at him with her huge amber eyes, and he wondered how he hadn't heard her nails clicking across the floor when she had gotten up. No, he knew. He was too busy panicking.

She nudged his arm a little, trying to get him to pet her, and he obliged, the repetitive motion doing wonders at bringing him back. He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing, feeling the air enter and exit his lungs several times, trying not to let the fear consume him.

Eventually, it began to die away, and even the nausea that had been conditioned in him from eating anything that wasn't salad also began to fade away. He swallowed several times, and played with Fern's floppy ears. She patiently let him turn them inside out and right side out again as she waited for him to calm down.

"God, Fern," he murmured, "That bastard fucked me up really good, didn't he? Bad enough that I can't even eat a bagel without getting an anxiety attack anymore. Maybe I'll need to check myself in to see a therapist if this doesn't stop."

She started licking his wrist again, and Eren continued to pet her while he ate with the other hand, the warmth of her fur keeping him grounded, and he found himself thanking his mom mentally for getting Fern, because it looked like she wasn't just a benefit to her.

Speaking of, as soon as he finished and was grabbing his keys to head out the door, he heard his mom enter the kitchen, looking half asleep but happy that she had caught him before he left.

" _Hey baby,"_ she signed drowsily, _"You nervous?"_

He smirked and laughed through his nose. _"Am I that easy to read?"_

" _Is that even a question?"_

Eren shrugged. He should have seen that coming. She came over to him and offered him a hug, which he accepted gratefully, bending slightly to do so. Warmth flooded his veins, and he could feel the fear drifting further away for now. After all, the small child in him told him that there was no safer place in the world than the arms of his parents.

When Carla pulled back, she signed, _"This is the start of great things for you. You'll do fine, don't worry. Just come back with good stories for me, okay?"_

" _Don't worry, if I get in the tank with the sharks and one bites me in the ass you'll be the first to hear about it."_

She snorted, leaned up to kiss his cheek, and sent him on his way, wishing him good luck with Fern by her side as he went through the doorway.

The sun was just beginning to come up by the time Eren got in the car and started to drive to the aquarium, blasting his music as he went. Soon enough, he left the city and drove out into the more rural part of the town, the scenery that flashed by his window turning into farmland and woods.

He had officially started grad school just this past fall, and when he heard the program required an internship in order for him to graduate, he didn't waste any time and began searching around right away. He was immensely thankful that Sina Aquarium had accepted him for a few reasons. For one thing, they were the closest aquarium to where he lived. For another, they doubled as a research center and had a working lab, at least that was what the lead scientist at the center, Dr. Zoe and her assistant Dr. Berner had explained to him when they interviewed him. So he was eager to get in there. They also had, to his knowledge, many of the creatures he wanted to work with one day, namely dolphins, seals and otters.

But most importantly, they were the only aquarium to his knowledge rumored to be keeping a mermaid among their rescued animals.

That rumor, above all else, was what got Eren's blood all hot with excitement, and his childhood dream come flooding back to the forefront of his mind. If he wanted to be a front runner in the mermaid field, perhaps this would be a good place to start getting experience.

That is, if the rumor was true.

When he had told them about his interest in the mermaid field and asked tentatively in the interview if it was true whether or not they had one of the creatures at the facility, Dr. Zoe had simply smiled neutrally and said to ask her that again when and if he got the position. So one acceptance and SARRC shirt later, and it was on the top of his list of questions for today.

He pulled into the parking lot at precisely seven, two hours before the center opened to the public, and headed inside, stopping at the front desk to let them know he was here to see Dr. Zoe. Said Dr. soon appeared to greet him, wearing her white coat over the top of her green Sina Aquarium shirt and a huge smile on her face as she did so.

"Eren!" she said happily, "Welcome! You excited?"

He held back from bouncing on the balls of his feet, feeling as giddy as a small child on Christmas morning. "Oh yeah."

"Well then come back with me," she said, waving him forward.

Blowing out a nervous breath, he followed her.

Once they disappeared from the front, she began to explain, "Alright, now today, we're going to start off with a full tour of the center. I'll show you the exhibits open to the public and the ones that aren't, the lab, and everything in between. I'll explain what you'll be doing while you're here, what you'll be doing in the lab, all that good stuff. Sound good?"

"Yes, sounds great Dr. Zoe," he answered.

She slowed down, taking note of how stiff his voice and his shoulders were, and her smile became a bit wider and kinder. "Oh hon, you don't need to bother with that Dr. shit, no one else does around here. Just call me Hanji. Likewise, you can just call my assistant Moblit. Neither of us care what you call us as long as we can dissect something by the end of the day."

"O-kay," Eren said uncertainly, but his shoulders dropped a little in relief.

"So, now that we have that settled," Hanji clasped her hands together, and continued on walking, "Let's talk about your duties here. You're going to be helping the other regular workers around here in the morning to get the facility reading for opening; cleaning tanks, feeding animals, cleaning inside the center, and whatever other little things we can think of for you."

"Alright, I can do that," Eren nodded along, deciding that didn't sound too hard.

"Good," Hanji said brightly, "Then in the afternoons, when you get done, we'll have you down in the lab to observe what we do. Once you get comfortable there and get in the rhythm of things, you can start doing your own research. Now, remind me again what you said you wanted to specialize in?"

"Linguistics," he told her, "Mostly for dolphins and whales, but I want to focus on dolphins I think."

"Splendid!" she exclaimed, "That's a cool field to go into, lots to look into. As far as I know, they've only just scratched the surface with the language of dolphins, so there's a lot to discover there. And we happen to have a couple of bottlenose dolphins here at the facility that you can spend time with here."

"And, remind me what you and Moblit focus on?" Eren wondered.

"We, Moblit studies biomechanics," she said, "He looks at all animals, but he's more fascinated by marine animals. I'm more of an all-around marine biologist. All of the animals in the sea fascinate me, especially the weird ones. Angler fish, goblin sharks, giant squids, gulper eels, oh yes. The creepier and more alien it looks, the more I want to take it apart and see how it ticks."

There was an odd, almost psychotic light in her eyes as she spoke about her passion, one that Eren admired and was afraid of at the same time. She was practically drooling, and he didn't know how to reply at first, so he settled on, "That's really cool."

Hanji cackled to herself for a moment, before she swung around and declared, "Okay, here we are at the first tank!"

They padded around like that for a while, Eren quiet for most of the time as he absorbed everything around him. The Sina Aquarium was a huge, state of the art center with giant tanks full of brightly colored tropical fish, tunnels full of sharks that swam over visitors' heads, open air tanks with seals, sea lions and sea otters, and even a few colonies of different species of penguins. There was also a "touch tank" full of friendly sting rays that actually, according to Hanji were known to splash people that didn't pet them when they asked for it. It rescued animals from both the wild and marine parks, took care of them until they were healthy, and if they could, released them into the wild again. Those that didn't qualify for release lived out the rest of their days in comfort as permanent residents at the aquarium.

They had finally entered the back part of the center when Hanji began to explain, "So this is where we house all the animals that we rescue. Visitors can't come back here, and we keep it nice and quiet for the animals that are still recovering. Right now it's pretty empty back here, actually. This is where the bottlenose dolphins are being kept. We also have a couple giant groupers that we'll probably be letting go in the next month, some otters, and a few sea birds."

Eren took a deep breath. The time felt right now to ask, especially since they were away from the front of the center. "So, do you guys really have a mermaid here?"

Hanji went quiet for a moment, before she chuckled lowly to herself, and turned her head towards Eren, saying, "I was waiting for you to ask me that. The short answer is, yes, we do."

When she didn't elaborate after they took a few more steps, Eren prompted, "And the long answer?"

"The long answer I'll explain to you when we get to his tank."

At that, Eren felt a jolt in his stomach. Had he heard her right? "What, 'his'?"

"Oh yes. The mermaid we have is a mer _man_. The only one officially recorded by science."

He couldn't help but mention, "I actually met one when I was a little kid one summer."

"Really?" she hummed thoughtfully to herself. "Interesting. Maybe the females just outnumber the males then. Or maybe the males are just really good at hiding. Hmm…"

When she finally stopped walking, they were standing in front of a huge tank, one where the clear glass went from the floor to the ceiling, and looking up, Eren saw that it even extended past that. It looked like that half of the tank was inside the building, and the other half was exposed to the outside so that natural light could warm the water. But what really caught Eren's attention wasn't so much the tank itself, but the bright yellow "caution" signs that were posted around the glass.

"So here we are," Hanji announced, "This is our resident mermaid, Levi."

Eren blinked a couple times at the name. "Levi?"

"Yeah, we didn't choose the name. Trost Sealand, the place we rescued him from, did. Apparently it was a popular name back when they caught him. It's resurfacing again I think."

Eren barely heard her though, as he was too busy gazing into the tank, straining his eyes for a glimpse of the mermaid within. The water itself was a bit cloudy, but even so, he could see that the bottom was covered in sand and gravel, as well as a few shells, anything you'd find on the sea floor really. There were several large boulders in the back as well, but it seemed the centerpiece of the tank was a large cave, the opening of which was pitch black.

The boy spent a few more minutes scanning the tank, before he finally asked slowly, "Sooo, um, where is he? You sure he's even in there?"

Hanji snorted. "He's in there alright. I doubt you'll ever see him though. I only ever get to see him when we have to sedate him and drag him out for his checkups. He spends all day and all night hiding in that cave. Luckily there's an air pocket in there or he'd drown."

"He never comes out?" Eren asked disbelievingly, "Not even to eat?"

"Nope," Hanji said sadly, "We have to drop his food right in front of his cave. We tried to get him to come out by putting it at the other end of the tank, but he wouldn't touch it, and he almost starved himself. So that's the way it has to be."

"Oh," Eren said morosely. "I was kind of hoping I'd be able to work with him, you know? Figure out the mermaid language. I imagine it's way more complex than the dolphin language."

"Well," the doctor sighed, "We do have a hydrophone in there. And some video cameras that monitor him. But I don't think those are going to help you, as he's very quiet and like I said, he never comes out of that cave. Other than that, unless you're going to feed him, I wouldn't recommend going anywhere near that tank."

He felt apprehension rising in his chest as he asked, "Dare I ask why?"

"Yes, you should," Hanji said seriously, "Since I was going to tell you anyway. Those caution signs around the tank," she motioned to them, "are there for a very good reason. Levi, while also being the newest one here, is at the moment considered the most dangerous resident in the center. Not even the sharks have caution signs on their tanks."

"What did he do so that he needs those?" Eren felt shivers skittering across his skin as he became more engrossed.

"We don't know the full story," she told him, "But we do know that Trost Sealand purchased him from an open water pen over a decade ago, along with a few dolphins for their park, for a small fortune. He was trained to perform, not only with the dolphins, but with the three other female mermaids the park had as well. When they weren't performing, they were kept in their tanks and visitors would pay to see real life mermaids. At night, they were kept in isolation in different parts of the tank, away from each other. In fact, the way I heard it, they had to keep Levi separated from the females all the time except for during shows because they kept attacking him. Why, I have no idea.

"Apparently, doing this sort of thing day in and day out took its toll on Levi, and I understand why. You figure the same thing happens with dolphins and orcas in captivity, and Levi is more intelligent than they are too. I know there's at least three incidents during either training or shows that he snapped and killed three of his trainers, either dragging them underwater and drowning them or tearing out their throats with his teeth. He's attempted to kill several others that have gotten in his tank with him too."

Eren's eyes widened throughout her story, and he allowed himself a moment to absorb it, before he said, "And they kept doing shows with him? Even though three of their trainers were dead?"

"Yup." Hanji shook her head, "He was the park's highest source of income, so they couldn't afford not to. I'd also wager he was driven to attack them too because they were physically abusing him. He's…he's covered in scars, Eren."

The boy felt sick at that, and then that nausea transformed into righteous fury. "Well damn, if I was being abused for years and years, I'd snap and kill the people that were hurting me too."

"Right?" Hanji agreed.

"How did you guys get him out, if he was worth so much money?"

"Partially because we had a warrant to seize him on the abuse allegations, and partially because the park's owner I guess finally figured that he was becoming more of a liability than a source of profit. None of the trainers wanted to work with him anymore, so they decided that it was better to let him go. So six months ago, we went and picked him up, along with a few other animals from the park, and he's been here ever since."

"Living out his golden years in a cave," Eren said wryly.

Hanji sighed through her nose. "I know. I wish I could help him, Eren, but he's much too dangerous. If any of us set one toe in that tank, he'd shoot out of the water and drag us down."

"Because he's scared," the boy insisted, "and no wonder. He doesn't trust humans any further than he can throw them, so he views every single of them as a threat. By killing them, he's just protecting himself, eliminating the threat before it can hurt him. It's like what dolphins do when they see sharks. If we could somehow get him to trust us, show him that we don't want to hurt him here then maybe we could"-

"Eren, I know this," she interrupted him, "But unless you can think of a way to make him trust people without putting anyone at risk, there's nothing more we can do for him except to keep him comfortable and make sure no one ever hurts him again."

"Can't you release him?"

"He was very young when they captured him. I doubt he remembers how to survive in the wild anymore."

The boy bit his lip, taking a moment to calm himself, before he finally muttered, "Sorry. I just…I just wish I could help every animal in his situation, and sometimes I have outbursts like that."

"I know," Hanji said softly, "I understand. I like you, Eren. You're like me. We know who we are, you know? And we know what we want to do, and God help anyone who tries to get between us and helping all the marine animals we can, because we're going to choke that motherfucker out."

That made Eren smile a bit, and his smile only grew when she continued with, "But hey, I certainly won't discourage you from finding that way to get him out of that cave. There's a lot of experiments I'd like to do on him too. Like, I'd kill to find out how his brain works, or see what kinds of sounds he makes and for what purposes."

Eren's eyes grew wide, and he asked excitedly, "Really? You mean it?"

"Would say it if I didn't," she said sincerely. "Alright now, the tour is over. If you'd like, for now, I can take you down to the lab and let you see the files we have on Levi. And you can meet Moblit too."

"Alright," Eren agreed, and began following her as she walked away. Eren started after her, but slowed down before he got too far, sparing the seemingly empty tank one last, lingering glance, taking in the still blue water it contained. He eyed the cave particularly, before sighing, turning back around and making his way down the hall after Hanji, listening as his footstep echoed in the eerie stillness.


	4. Shudder Before the Beautiful

Eren felt like he was walking straight into a Saw movie when Hanji led him down the hallway toward the lab, which was located in the basement area of the center. There was a yellow lightbulb attached to the ceiling that honest to God flickered every once in a while, and it was hidden among visible, leaky pipes that crisscrossed above their heads. They were probably there to feed and filter the giant tanks above them. With the electricity and the water so close together, all Eren could see was a lawsuit waiting to happen.

"How…charming," he observed, not even bothering to hide his sarcasm. Hanji snorted.

"Oh yeah," she replied, "The first time Moblit came down here when they hired him, I had my goggles on and was holding my dissecting knife, and I just looked up from the fish I had on the table, whose guts were all pulled out at that point out, and instead of saying hello, I said 'tell me about the lambs, Clarice' and he just shut the door."

He snickered, and watched as she came to stop in front of the last room in the lineup, room 104, which only made Eren think about how he was going to have to walk down the entire length every day and have a minor panic attack every time he did. She held the door and let him walk through first, and the first thing Eren noticed was that the lab itself was much cleaner, more lit and up to date than the hallway was. There were several computers in the room, tables, cabinets, and a bunch of other things Eren didn't know the use for yet, but was eager to figure out. Sitting at one of these computers and writing up notes was Moblit, looking very determined in the computer monitor's glow.

"Hey Moblit!" she greeted cheerily once she came in, shutting the door behind them, "You still working on that?"

"Going on two hours," he said distractedly, "I'm running on five cups of coffee, three hours of sleep and a prayer."

"Well, I brought the new intern so the workload will be a bit lighter now."

At that, Moblit broke his stare down with the computer and swung around in his chair, looking Eren up and down. He broke into a smile, and stated, "Nice to meet you." He stood up and came over to stand in front of Eren, holding out his hand. As his sleeve pulled back Eren noticed that there was a prominent white scar on his wrist that looked to be in the shape of tooth marks, judging by the oddly, evenly spaced arc of the marks. Eren shook his hand, smiling as well.

"Nice to be here," he said genuinely, "If you don't mind me saying, that's a pretty cool scar you have there. Must have been one feisty little shark that you pissed off, huh?"

Moblit chuckled. "Thanks. It's just one of the many badges I have. I swear, some field biologists are just as scarred up as war veterans, if not worse. Hanji has some great ones too. But no, this isn't from a shark, though I do have a few other scars from sharks."

"Oh, then what's it from?" Eren wondered.

The other scientist smirked, "Got this from the first time we gave Levi a check-up. We thought we had sedated him properly, but it turns out we didn't give him enough. He woke up just as we were pricking his arm to take blood and as soon as he felt the pain he sat bolt upright on the table and took a chunk out of the first thing his teeth came in contact with, which happened to be my wrist."

Eren stood there for a moment, wide-eyed with shock, before breathing out, "Holy crap."

Moblit nodded emphatically, before pulling the boy out of his thoughts with, "So did you 'meet' Levi?"

"I met his cave," Eren told him wryly.

"And that's the closest you'll get to him, as I'm sure Hanji told you," he said.

"Well, you could show him the files we have on him," Hanji suggested, "I told him he could look at them."

Moblit nodded, and went over to the huge cabinet sets against the opposite wall, Eren watching him excitedly as he did so. While he was over there, Moblit took the time to say, "I'm going to be nice to you because Hanji wasn't when I first started here."

"So I heard," Eren mentioned, and Hanji snorted again.

Moblit rolled his eyes, and he continued, "The cabinet to the left is full of files. The cabinet to the right is full of the corpses of animals they send us to dissect. Don't mix them up."

"You got it," the boy promised, trying to hold back a grimace at the thought of what might have happened if Moblit hadn't warned him.

Said scientist riffled around in the drawer for a bit, before he pulled out a couple of different manila folders. He walked back over to Eren, handing them to him, explaining, "Alright, I pulled out not only our notes on Levi, but the folders of the dolphins as well. You said you wanted to work with them?"

"Yeah, thanks," Eren said.

"I love dolphins too," Moblit told him fondly, "They've always been my favorites to study."

"And he can do a neat party trick with them," Hanji mentioned.

"Really?" Eren exclaimed, "What's that?"

She said with a suggestive gleam in her eye, "You'll just have to find out!"

Eren groaned a little at that, while Moblit just rubbed that back of his neck, and promised, "Don't worry, I won't keep you in suspense for too long. Just keep reminding me to bring my clarinet."

The boy laughed, both confused and even more intrigued, and then at Hanji's direction, went to sit at an empty table to look over the notes, while Moblit went back to his computer, and Hanji opened a drawer from both the left and the right cabinets, pulling out a file and a cadaver each. Eren got a glimpse of her victim to see that it was a dead emperor penguin, a small one at that, and hoped she might let him help her afterward. For now, he opened up the file, and excitedly began to peruse it.

Right at the top of the first page was Levi's basic information from what Eren guessed was his first checkup here at the center; how long he was, how much he weighed, his BMI, the date he had been originally captured from the wild, the date he arrived at the center, and his prominent physical characteristics. Eren could see that he was quite small, around the same height as Eren's mother, and during his first appointment it looked like he was very underweight. Someone had even made notes that he was emaciated, and that the whites of his eyes were discolored as well as the fact that his gums were pale. Apparently his skin also had a yellowish tint to it that the margins questioned as being normal or not.

For prominent physical characteristics, they wrote that he had both dark hair and eyes, that his skin was pale with a greenish blue tint, and that he had a dark tail that resembled a dolphin's rather than a fish's, as most people thought when they thought of a mermaid's tail.

 _Makes sense,_ Eren thought to himself, _They are mammals after all._

For the most part though, the notes talked about the fact that he was, as Hanji mentioned before, covered in scars. The file noted how many of them were rake marks across his back or along his tail. There were also several overlapping raised scars along his arms and sides, even a few down his neck and face that Hanji and Moblit couldn't determine the cause of. Some of them were still bleeding, the notes said though, even when they placed him on the table. There were a couple pictures of the scars in the file as well, and they hurt Eren's heart to look at.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed those thoughts out of his mind and kept reading, looking next at the results of Levi's blood tests. It turned out that there had been problems with his liver, hence the discoloration of his skin and eyes, and the pale gums and low BMI was due to not being fed enough. Once again, Eren felt his gut clench with sympathy.

He noticed that there were additional notes about the contents of Levi's blood, how similar it was to human blood. However, his red blood cells appeared to be shaped a bit differently, "perhaps to help store extra oxygen in them for deep dives?" read the notes. His immune system also resembled that of a dolphin's in terms of what sorts of diseases it appeared he had built up resistance against, and it looked like his blood contained a special protein that many specialized artic fish had in their veins. Something that kept their tissues from freezing in especially cold water.

 _I wonder if they go up north when the humpbacks to and feed with them,_ Eren found himself thinking. Wouldn't that be cool, imagining the mermaids travelling to the Arctic with the gentle creatures, feeding alongside them. Maybe even cooperating with them to get food.

He kept flipping through the notes, noticing that a new paper was started once a month for every checkup that Levi got, and to Eren's relief, he seemed to be improving every time. Next month's papers said that the tone of his skin had improved drastically and that he was much less skinnier, only proving the fact that his low weight wasn't due to genetics or a disease, but just pure neglect. A horrible thought occurred to the boy that maybe Levi's trainers were starving him in hopes that by making him weaker, he'd be less dangerous.

Once again, he felt his blood grow hot with his anger, felt his face burn with it, and it made him immediately want to fly out of here like a bat out of Hell, grab a bucket of fish and dump the entire thing into the mermaid's tank, danger or no danger. Although clearly that wasn't necessary, as by the end of the file, during Levi's last appointment which he noted was just a week ago, he saw that his weight was that of a normal, healthy human of the same size, perhaps a bit more because of the additional weight of his tail.

There was one more disturbing observation among the notes that Eren saw, and that was written near the bottom.

" _It looks like there are new cuts appearing everywhere on Levi's body every time we examine him, but as he spends all of his time in his cave, we can't know what they're from. We've also tried fitting a video camera in his cave, but he's destroyed it every single time. Hopefully someday we can find out before he seriously gets hurt."_

The description had Eren's skin tingling, and a bitter taste flooding his mouth from how familiar the story sounded to him. But at the same time, he couldn't be sure.

He shut the file, hardening his determination. Regardless, he knew mermaids were just as intelligent as humans, which meant they were probably just as social as they were too. And the far recesses of his mind brought up the memory of his mermaid friend's pitiful little voice, begging him not to go because he was his only friend…

Eren swallowed. Levi was suffering, that was the bottom line. And if he was going to make the world a better place for all mermaids, he was going to have to start with the lonely one in the tank that everyone appeared to have given up on.

000

" _Hey guys, want to see something great?" his boyfriend was saying from the living room of their apartment._

" _Is it another show?" he heard one of his friends say, "Because I'm always game for one of those."_

" _Oh trust me, I've improved it since the last time you were here," his boyfriend assured them confidently._

_Eren shivered in their room, knowing what was coming next. And his boyfriend always seemed to make the stakes higher each time. Last time he had made Eren do a strip tease in front of his friends, which were comprised of both guys and girls, people he had known since he had first started dating this man. He didn't mind strip teasing when they were alone, but certainly not in front of other people. However, his boyfriend convinced him by saying it was a huge turn on for him, seeing how hot other people thought his boyfriend was. And of course he had followed it up with the classic, "If you loved me, you'd do this for me," line._

_By that point, Eren was in so deep, had been so broken down by the constant manipulation, was so_ exhausted _, that despite the utter humiliation and degradation, he didn't have the energy to fight anymore. Besides, how much worse could it possibly get?_

_Apparently he was about to find out._

" _Eren, come here!" he heard his boyfriend calling out for him._

_The boy hesitated, the last bit of his dignity pleading with him to stay put. He thought of his parents, blissfully unaware of what he was forced to do to keep this man happy, how they thought he himself was happy, and it made a familiar feeling of nausea rise._

" _Eren!" the man called again, a definite edge to his tone, "Now!"_

_Eren flinched, a conditioned response for when he heard that tone of voice being used. He sighed shakily, and went into the living room, wrapped in nothing but a thin sheet. He held it about his shoulders desperately, his knuckles white when he stepped up beside his boyfriend, who was sitting on the couch._

" _See?" the man who claimed to love him boasted, "Just as well trained as any dog."_

_He gave Eren what the boy guessed was supposed to be a praising pat on the rump, but of course, it wasn't taken that way. He only felt worse when they all started talking about him like he wasn't even in the room. He kept his eyes on the rug, too embarrassed to look anyone in face._

" _Wish my girlfriend was like that," one guy said, and wrapped his free arm around said girl, who had her eyes lowered to the ground and a nervous frown on her face._

" _You got to be firm with them," his boyfriend explained, "Otherwise they walk all over you. Alright Eren, now drop the sheet."_

_Eren swallowed convulsively, wondering if he had heard correctly. He wanted him to do what? This was far beyond a strip tease; his boyfriend wanted his friends to gawk at his naked body. He just stood there, shaking, face burning, desperately wishing he was anywhere but here. Wishing he were by the water. It had been almost five years since he had felt the sea against his skin. His boyfriend had moved them so far away that Eren couldn't visit it anymore…_

" _Eren," his boyfriend repeated, getting that hard tone of voice again, "Did you hear me? Let them see you."_

_The boy shook his head subtlety, and found himself begging softly, "Reiner, please don't make me do this. I don't…I don't like it."_

_The other man regarded him for a moment, before he stood up slowly, making sure he was standing in front of Eren and getting into his personal space. Eren kept his eyes lowered, something he hated that he did, but he learned that it was a good way to diffuse situations. If he looked meek and submissive, most of the time it curbed his boyfriend's anger._

_He heard his boyfriend say, "So you want to make me look like an idiot in front of my friends, is that it?"_

" _No," Eren said quickly, his voice exceedingly soft._

" _Well, that's what you're doing right now." The other man spoke to him slowly, like he was talking to a child. "And I'm not mad right now, but I'm going to be in a second, okay Eren?"_

" _Okay, okay, I'm sorry," the boy apologized desperately._

_His boyfriend raised an eyebrow, bringing his face a little closer to Eren's as he asked, "Mmm, I don't think you are."_

_With that, out of nowhere, pain suddenly exploded across the boy's face, and his head whipped to the side. Out of the corner of his vision, he saw that the man was lowering his hand, but only slightly, keeping it raised probably depending on what Eren said next._

" _You're sure sorry now, aren't you?" he asked loudly over the top of Eren's shocked cry._

" _Yes, I'm sorry," the boy repeated, trying to sound more sincere, "I won't do it again. I'll-I'll do what you say."_

_His boyfriend then smiled softly and caressed his face, the same cheek he had just struck, and leaned up, kissing Eren's forehead. "There you go, good boy. I love you, you know that? Go ahead then, let them see how pretty you are."_

_He stepped aside, sitting back down on the couch, before crossing his legs casually. Eren bit his lip, holding back his tears. He knew if he cried, things would only get worse, far worse than just a slap in the face. He really didn't want to go back in the closet again._

_So, to prevent that fate, he obediently dropped the sheet, closing his eyes against their ogling, wishing he could shut his ears as well._

_A couple of them wolf whistled, and Eren's boyfriend nodded approvingly. "See? Pretty lucky aren't I?" He then noticed that Eren's eyes were closed, and he commanded, "Look at them. Let them see your eyes. They're the best part of you."_

_The bit his lip harder, the point where it was painful now, but did as he was asked, looking up and trying to push down the revolted shiver that went down his spine at the obvious interest in his friends' eyes._

" _He's got nice thighs," one said, "Nice and full."_

" _He's got an ass I want to take a bite out of," said another, leaning back and throwing his arm casually around his still distressed looking girlfriend._

" _Bet his asshole is nice and tight."_

" _Hey Reiner, not going to lie, but I'm really jealous. Wish I could throw this kid over the table and fuck him in front of everyone here."_

_Eren sucked in a breath, waiting for his boyfriend's answer. And when he got it, his blood ran cold in his veins._

" _Well, not tonight, but maybe next time you come over. I could prep him for you, and if you wanted to give me some, uhhh compensation, I wouldn't mind letting you have a go at him."_

_They kept talking, but Eren didn't hear the rest. Didn't want to hear the rest. A high pitched ringing began in his ears, and it was all he could do to keep from vomiting on the floor._

Eren's eyes flew open and he drew in a sharp breath, adrenaline racing around his blood and panic immediately beginning to squeeze his chest. When his eyes saw nothing but his dark ceiling, the fear lessened but not by much. He reached up with trembling fingers for his lamp by his bed, and quickly turned it on, however the sweat on his hands made it difficult to do so at first.

When he succeeded, he sat up for a few moments, taking in his surroundings, seeing the familiar shapes of his childhood room and taking in the familiar smell. It was alright now, he was here, not there. He never had to do something so degrading ever again.

Honestly he should have seen something like this coming. He was surprised these bad dreams of his experience when he lived with his ex hadn't started sooner.

Five years of his life that bastard had sucked away from Eren. Oh it had started off innocent enough. But obviously it hadn't ended that way.

Eren tried to slow his breathing by forcing himself to take deeper breaths, pulling his knees up to his chest and letting his forehead rest against them. He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling that it was damp with sweat, and so was his back and chest. He had fallen so fast and hard for Reiner too, hard enough that soon after high school was over he agreed to move in with him several hours from home. He agreed to go to college out there too. He gave up his friends, family, everything he was, just to please this awful man.

When Eren couldn't look inside himself without seeing Reiner there, he knew he was in trouble. In fact, he still had that problem sometimes, even though it had been a few months since he had last seen his ex. Part of him still felt guilty for leaving, wondering if he had made the right decision.

The boy gripped his shirt over where his heart was, trying to massage it, hoping it would help to relax him. He had already had a couple of these kinds of dreams already, and he was at a loss for the most part as to how to make them go away. However, there was one thing that seemed to do wonders at calming him down after the fact.

Hauling himself unsteadily out of bed, he made his way over to his dresser, and carefully picked his favorite conch shell off of the pile, the one colored like the sunset. It was a little dusty, but still just as vibrant as it used to be. He then laid back down in bed with it, running his fingers over its bumpy surface and examining it from all angles, trying to lose himself in memories of the day he got it. He could still see his tiny mermaid friend holding it up to him, warbling adorably, insisting he take it. How his face had lit up when Eren had said he'd be his friend, how they had sat side by side, day after day, watching the sun set with their sides pressed together for warmth. How safe and happy Eren had felt with him, how easy it was to be this mermaid's friend despite the language barrier.

How much he wished he could live in that summer forever.

Eren found himself holding the shell to his ear, as he had done many times in the past, and found himself soothed by the faint rushing sound he heard when doing so. No, it wasn't really the sea, just the echo of blood flowing in his own ears, but it sounded similar enough. He remembered the delightfully confused look on his mermaid friend's face when he told him about the tradition, and it made him smile faintly.

Just for a moment though. Because then he found himself wishing that he was that innocent again, when he didn't know how cruel people could be, when his world consisted of the sea, its creatures, and how he was going to save them all someday. When things made sense.

When Eren believed in things like love.

The boy sighed, pulling the conch away from his ear, and instead holding it close to his chest. He didn't want to turn the lamp light off, too afraid of the dark and quiet. In the light, it was easier to keep himself in that fairytale of innocence and childhood, when his best friend had been a mermaid and his only love had been the sea. But as he fell asleep again, that undercurrent of doubt brought about by experience kept trying to destroy that lovely dream.

That doubt that there was no such thing as true love.

000

It was far past closing time at the center, and pretty much all of the employees had gone home. Even Hanji and Moblit had left about thirty minutes ago. But Eren, exhausted though he was, still found himself feeling abnormally restless thanks to his ever present bad dreams.

It was a couple weeks into his internship now, and Hanji luckily felt comfortable enough with him to let him stay late at the center to pick up extra hours for his own research. The dolphins were still awake after all, clicking and chattering away, giving him plenty to listen to on the hydrophones in their tanks. It was nearly ten at night before Eren decided he'd had enough of trying to analyze signifiers in their conversations. Besides, he thought he'd done a good job. According to what was known about the dolphin language, the dolphins appeared to calm and even a bit happy. So Hanji would be happy to hear that.

Sighing, he got up and left the lab, turning off the light as he went and power walking down the hallway. Because the place certainly looked like it could be the haunting grounds of some ghost and he wasn't taking the chance. On the way out, he caught sight of Levi's tank, and couldn't help but linger by the glass, peering inside. The water was dark and still as always, though there were a couple of lights left on that he planned on shutting off before he left. With this light, he could just barely make out the shape of the cave and the rocks around it.

What was Levi doing in his cave now, he wondered? Was he asleep? He seemed to recall that mermaids did sleep at night, though for only very short periods at a time. Though he remembered his mermaid friend telling him that they were capable of hauling themselves onto land and sleeping there as well for much longer periods of time where they were able to obtain much deeper sleep. Eren glanced up, once again noticing the cliff-like structure that had been placed near the top of the tank, faux stone for this very purpose, in case Levi ever wanted to rest on land and sun himself for a while. Of course, it had never been used though.

"I wish you'd let me see you," Eren whispered, leaning his forehead against the glass. "I want to help you, you know. But I guess I won't be able to see you until your next checkup, huh?"

After a few more moments of quiet, he placed a palm against the tank glass, and said softly, "Goodnight Levi. Just know that there's one human out here at least who wants to be your friend, even if you don't like us."

When another minute passed with nothing but the soft sound of the water in the tank lapping against the edges, he stepped away, preparing to go and shut off the soft lights still shining over the tank. However, before he could, he heard something.

The sound was so faint, nearly indiscernible, like the sound of snow as it lands on the grass, or the sound of wind as it changes direction. In fact, he wouldn't have heard it at all if the center wasn't dead silent. He heard the tiniest sound of the water being abnormally disturbed behind him. As if someone was running their hand through it, pushing it around and stirring it up.

As if someone was swimming through it.

Eren drew in a sharp, quiet breath, hardly daring to move. He had never heard this sound coming from Levi's tank before. As slowly as he could manage, he turned around, making sure his feet didn't create any noise on the hard concrete floor.

At first, he saw nothing in the tank, the water being just as still as ever. But then, as if from another realm, a dark shape became visible to him, the curves and angles of its body highlighted by lights emitted over the tank. It was as if the light and dark were cradling the creature, holding it in suspension in the dark emptiness of the water.

Eren stood there, rooted to the spot as he took in the sight of the mermaid. It didn't seem to know he was there, as its gaze was roaming everywhere else around the tank, its tail undulating lazily in the water, slowly pushing it forward. Its short hair rose in a dark halo above its head, but most of all, its eyes, though not fixed on the boy, seemed to suck Eren right in. They were hard and soft all at once, sitting in a savage and splendid face that looked so fragile it might break if touched without care.

The boy barely dared to breathe, for fear the creature would hear him and startle, though with as many layers of glass and water and air between them as there were, that was impossible. He could hardly believe that _this_ was Levi, that the creature swimming around so gracefully and so smoothly under the water was really him. And indeed, Eren felt as if he were in the presence of something much greater than himself, a species from the vale that wore the guise of a piece of the moon come to Earth, something that made Eren feel helpless and vulnerable as he gazed upon it, something that made him break wonderfully. Like he was seeing the creatures for the first time all over again. And he couldn't help the whispered praise that left his lips as he shuddered and breathed out, "Beautiful.'

Levi continued to swim around the tank for a few moments, diving and spinning and rising doing all sorts of acrobatic moves, the blissful peace on his face making it impossible for Eren to find air again, especially when he realized why he was doing this. He was stretching himself out, getting exercise after being cramped in the cave all day. It appeared Hanji was wrong about Levi staying there all day, and that he did in fact come out. However, he only did so when everyone in the center was gone.

Or at least, when he thought everyone was gone.

He suddenly turned in Eren's direction, making a move to swim straight towards him, and their eyes locked. The boy gasped audibly, and the mermaid froze. A jolt passed through Eren, and he felt as if a god had decided to look him in the eyes, had decided he was worthy enough to meet his gaze. Those dark eyes pulled at him, begged him to come closer, to learn and understand what was going on behind them, to bond with and comfort the hurt creature, to praise and worship his beauty. It was a moment suspended in the dark silence that seemed to stretch on for eons.

But of course, it had to end. When the mermaid registered Eren's presence, his eyes widened and he immediately darted back into his cave, disappearing in the blink of an eye, leaving the boy to wonder if what had just occurred was really just a dream. But no, the pounding in his heart and the tingling of his stomach were so potent that it couldn't have been. The yearning that had been sparked in his chest was no dream either. Neither was the fire that had begun to burn inside him.

He was going to find a way to help that creature. And if Levi killed him in the process, well…at least his article in the obituaries would stand out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I listened to for when Eren sees Levi in his tank was Tulou Tagaloa, I just can't get enough of that 55 second amazingness. The title of this chapter is the title of a Nightwish song.


	5. Aquamarine

Eren burst into the aquarium the next morning almost an hour late, deep lines under his eyes and hair a hot mess. There was more red bull in his veins than blood when he raced down to the lab and threw open the door declaring excitedly, "I've got it! Hanji I've got it!"

"You've got what?" she asked, looking up from her latest victim on the table beneath her (a deceased lion fish this time), "A good excuse as to why you're late?"

"That, and the reason why I'm going to be your new best friend forever and ever," he elaborated, this time getting Moblit's attention as well. The other man looked up from the mountain of files he was hiding behind at his desk just as Eren explained, "I've got an idea as to how I can get Levi to trust me."

Hanji's expression shifted into one of surprise, and she had to ask based on his appearance, "And you came up with this plan last night?"

"Yes."

"And I'm guessing you got no sleep?"

"Not a damn bit. But I'm so excited I don't care, please please, you have to hear me out."

Hanji and Moblit glanced at each other. The man shrugged, and they silently agreed. What they had been doing so far had been failing horribly, so what did they have to lose?

"Alright Eren," she said, "Lay it on us."

Grinning hugely, he explained, "Okay, so you told me that Levi doesn't want to leave his cave for anything, right? Well, last night I happened to pass by his tank, and saw him swimming around in there. So I"-

"Wait, you saw him come out?" Moblit exclaimed. Both of them were staring at him with equal, open looks of shock.

"Yes!" Eren nodded eagerly, "I mean…it felt like a dream, but…" he felt his chest grow warm with the gorgeous memory of seeing Levi glide around in the water so majestically, and his mind grew fuzzy as he drifted inside of it. He blinked away the image quickly, before continuing determinedly, "I know I saw him. He was swimming around the perimeter, diving and coming up again, and he looked so- so relaxed, so happy, you know? He was exercising a bit, I'll bet, and that made me think that really, he doesn't want to be stuck in that cave all day. He wants to get out and swim around in his tank. The only thing keeping him in there is his fear of us. But seeing him last night made me think there's hope for him. Because if he's brave enough to come out of his cave at all like that, he might be brave enough to venture out again under different circumstances."

Hanji wondered, "What kind of circumstances did you have in mind?"

Eren narrowed his eyes in thought, tapping his chin, "Well, I was thinking, many animals, if they're around the thing that makes them afraid for long enough under more favorable circumstances, where they can see the thing won't hurt them, they often come out on their own because they're curious. That and most animals are programed not to stay too afraid for long. Most of them really aren't intelligent enough to stay afraid anyway. But with Levi it's a much different case mostly because he _is_ smart. Humans, above all else, remember the things they're afraid of _because_ they're intelligent, and instinct tells us to. Remembering what we're afraid of even when we forget everything else has helped us survive since the beginning of time. So all we have to do is work our psychology on him, rewire his brain a bit."

"Meaning…?" Moblit asked slowly.

Eren eyed them both meaningfully. "We're going to have to force his hand. Force him out of his cave. He's been given long enough to observe you to see he's not at the water park anymore. To see that you don't mean him any harm."

They opened their mouths to protest, and he knew immediately what they wanted to say, so he interrupted them. "I know, I know you have hurt him. With your exams, sedating him, all of that stuff. It's just reinforced his fear of people. But other than that, you haven't interacted with him. You haven't given him any positive experiences with humans, and right now, that's what he needs if we're going to get him to trust us. I know why you haven't tried to interact with him, but if we're serious about this, we're going to have to take the risk. Or rather, I will.

"I was thinking of starting Levi with positive experiences with humans. And the most basic experience I could think of was associating humans with his most basic needs. So I thought, what about us feeding him by hand? If he could see that humans are the ones giving him food, he might come to at least accept our presence. Maybe eventually he might even look forward to seeing us for that very reason. We build up positive experiences, and we build up trust."

They blinked at him, before Hanji said uncertainly, "You want to feed him by hand?" She shook her head, before sighing, "Alright, alright, for the sake of hearing you out, how would one go about this? Because Eren you are most certainly not doing this by yourself if you're doing it at all."

"No, I wasn't planning on that," he reassured her quickly, "I was thinking of something where I'd hang out where you guys usually drop his food, in front of his cave, with his food, and sit there until he comes out to take it."

Mobit told him doubtfully, "He won't do that, Eren."

Eren shrugged, and insisted, "Well, then he's going to be pretty hungry, because if we do this, he either eats from my hand or he doesn't eat at all. Like I said, we have to force him to trust us, because he clearly isn't going to make a move to do it himself. So like I was saying, I'd borrow some scuba gear and sit there in front of his cave. Hanji, maybe you could monitor us from the lab on the video cameras and hydrophones, and Moblit could be standing by the tank with me in scuba gear too, ready to jump in after me just in case."

They both just blinked at him for a few moments, absorbing what he had said, before Hanji stated, "I'm sure you're aware of the insane amount of risks involved in something like this."

"I am."

"Like, Eren, this is beyond crazy. This is getting in a tank with a bunch of great whites and pouring blood in the water kind of crazy. Since Levi is so afraid, it isn't going to take much to set him off. And if he attacks you, he's not going to do it with the intent to scare you off, he's going to try and kill you."

Eren shook his head. "If it's just me in the water though and Moblit staying out of sight, it should lessen the stress for him."

Moblit adding insistently, "That might not be enough. Who's to stop him from darting out from that cave and tearing out your throat before I even get into the tank?"

"And," Hanji added, "like you said, Levi is smart. He may not know exactly how scuba gear works, but it wouldn't take him long to figure that if he tears off your mask or rips out your regulator from your oxygen tank, you'll be in trouble."

Eren thought for a moment, before he said, "We have cattle prods, don't we? I mean, I'd hate to use them, but I could keep one on me. If Levi attacked me, I could use it, and it would keep him off me for long enough for Moblit to come in and help me."

The two scientists shared a long look, and something seemed to pass between them, some kind of silent conversation that they had learned the invisible language for after working with each other for years. After twin nods of agreement, Hanji finally relented, "Alright, we can try this."

Eren's grin widened, showing off all of his teeth. However, before he could get too excited, she continued with, "But you only get one shot, Eren. We give this one go, and the moment there's trouble, you pull out, and we never do this again. I feel conflicted enough on this."

"But at the same time," Moblit added, "If this helps to get Levi to trust us, think of all we could learn from him. We could literally write the book on mermaid behavior. It could really advance our careers, and launch yours, Eren."

The boy's excitement only grew tenfold at that, his childhood dream finally feeling more within his reach.

"But," Hanji cautioned, "Above all else, if we do this, we're doing this my way. Which means, you have to promise me right now, if we tell you to get out of that tank, you'll get out, no questions asked, and you never get in it again under any circumstances. Can you promise me that? If not, then I can't let you go in there."

Taking a deep breath, Eren figured it was the least he could do, and he agreed.

"I promise."

000

The very next day, Eren was suiting up at the top of Levi's tank, already having dressed into his wet suit, and preparing his scuba gear.

"Your tanks are filled, we're going to have more on standby too," Moblit was explaining beside him, also dressed in a wet suit, "since we figure you'll be down there for a while. All day, most likely, with breaks in between."

Eren said, "I figured."

"He's a stubborn one, that Levi," Moblit stated.

"Well, so am I," the boy told him, "So this ought to be interesting."

The other scientist watched him finish up, scrutinizing him to make sure everything was placed correctly and Eren had everything with him. To his surprise, it was, and he found himself asking, "Have you dived before?'

Eren said, "Oh yes, a few times. I actually also made it a goal of mine to become a professional free diver at some point. I practice as often as I can."

Moblit nodded approvingly, and wondered, "What's your record for staying under?"

"Just a couple minutes. I know some divers can stay under for twenty, and I want to get that good someday. So I can stay underwater with animals as long as possible without the need for all of this equipment all the time, you know?"

"That would make things easier, wouldn't it?" Moblit then finally asked, "So, you have your prod? Your signal flares in case you need us?"

Eren held up the few signal flares, and then the prod, before tucking everything back in his belt. "As much as I hate that I need them. The point is to make Levi trust us, not scare him more."

He suddenly felt very worried. What if there was a situation where he was forced to hurt Levi? He'd feel like the scum of the Earth, even if he was just defending himself. Seeing the worried look that had suddenly come over Eren's face, Moblit put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and said, "Don't worry. If your plan works, you won't need it. Just concentrate on what'll happen if we pull this off, okay?"

Eren exhaled deeply, shook himself, and then worked on psyching himself up. Moblit was right, after all. He had to be more positive. This was his plan, after all. He had to have more faith that everything would pan out. Besides, he knew he wasn't going to give up. He'd wait outside Levi's cave for the rest of the summer if he had to, but he was going to break through to him.

Because at the moment, Levi had nothing to live for. He was just existing. And Eren couldn't help but want, somewhere deep down, to become the reason that Levi started to look forward to each morning again.

"Alright," he finally said, sitting down on the edge of the tank, "I'm going in."

Moblit took a couple steps back to give him room, and prompted, "Now, just so we're clear, tell me what my position will be?"

The boy half smirked. The other scientist was obviously making sure that Eren knew where he'd be, even though he himself had formulated the plan. He was most likely doing it just to ease his own worries. "Just out of sight of the tank with your own feed to the video camera, watching for anything Hanji might miss. You and Hanji both have radios to communicate with each other and will be my other set of eyes in the tank."

"Good," Moblit praised, "Alright then. I guess you're good to go. Just no matter what Eren, don't take your eyes off of that cave, keep your wits about you, and when you're diving down or surfacing, keep that prod out. You don't know if he'll strike from below when you're vulnerable like that, and you have to be prepared."

Eren knew all of this of course, but he allowed the other scientist to act concerned. It was nice to know that he was cared about so much.

He said confidently, "Don't worry, I got this."

And with that, he slid the giant mask over his face, and fell backwards into the water, disappearing with a splash that echoed in the spacious interior part of the tank. When the white bubbles from the impact dissipated slightly, Eren carefully oriented himself in the water so that he was right side up again, before immediately taking out the prod, figuring Moblit was watching him and either he or Hanji would scold him if he didn't obey their directions, especially right after they had been issued. He kept it tight to his side, hoping that it wasn't visible, and looked around until he found the cave. Soon enough, he found the ominous, looming shape of it almost directly below his fins, and, once he shifted direction slightly, he began to swim down towards it.

Though he wouldn't admit it, secretly, Eren's heart was pounding the entire swim down, his eyes constantly darting around, looking for a lithe, pale shape that could be lurking around the tank. Yes, he was excited to form a bond with the mermaid, but at the moment, that mermaid did not want to form a bond with any human, and the memory of Hanji's words, about how he had killed humans in the past, echoed in his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut briefly, and willed her words away. This would work. It had to. They simply had no other choice. The worst that would happen would be that Levi would ignore him, and then he would just come up with something else, that was all. The mermaid couldn't possibly be that far gone that he would attack another human without provocation, right? After all, those trainers had abused him. Eren had done nothing to Levi. He wouldn't hurt him. He _wouldn't._

But the more Eren repeated that in his mind, the less he was convinced.

Luckily, he reached the opening to Levi's cave without incident, but despite that, when the boy finally got a good look at the cave itself, a whole new burst of fear rushed in his veins. The cave was huge, much more intimidating up close, looking more like an evil underwater lair to his scared eyes. He could stand right up in its mouth and it would still loom over his head a good couple of inches. The mouth of it was pitch black as well, too dark for him to see into for more than a foot or so in. Too dark for him to see where Levi was in there. Hanji had told him that the cave had two chambers, a front and a back one. Levi was most likely huddled up in the back one. After all, that's where the air pocket was.

Eren chose a spot about a foot in front of the entrance, adjusted his buoyancy so that he could rest comfortably on the sand, and sat down, pulling the large, dead fish out from where it was attached to his belt, and holding it in his lap.

After a few minutes filled with nothing but the sound of the water rushing past his ears and the sound of bubbles escaping his mask as he breathed, he chanced a look behind him. He caught, even though the many feet of water separating him from the tank glass, the faint glimmer of Moblit's laptop light, and his chest loosened knowing that the man was there, ready to jump in at a moment's notice.

Eren exhaled deeply, and watched as the silver bubbles exploded from his mouthpiece and floated all the way up to the surface. He set about thinking about what he would do when Levi decided to come out. He would of course try to make himself look as nonthreatening as possible, offer the mermaid the fish, and pray he would take it without trying to take Eren's hand along with it. He decided then that he would do this as often as he had to until Levi was eating from his hand at every meal. Perhaps they could even work their way up to eventually prompting Levi to leave his cave altogether and encourage him into meeting him at the surface for his meals. Once they were there, things could really get started.

Excited, the boy settled further into the sand, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

_And waited._

Eventually, his oxygen ran out, and he had to get out and refill his tanks. When he was out, he even managed a meal break, before he went back in again. He waited, staring into the vast, empty darkness of that cave, wherein his oxygen ran out again, and he had to refill it once more. Again and again he did this, all day, until he realized he had spent almost his entire shift at the bottom of that tank, and there had been no sign of movement all day. Eventually, he was pulled out by Moblit knocking on the glass, and the other man pointing upwards, signaling for him to return to the surface. Eren did so, clutching the prod as he had all the other times, and heaving himself out of the water, removing his mask and gear for the final tie that day.

"He's a stubborn one for sure," Eren had to admit, "You were definitely right."

"Told you," he said wryly.

The boy set his jaw determinedly as he took off his fins. "Yeah well, one time I made my parents so mad over something that they told me I wasn't allowed to speak to them again until I could admit I was wrong. I ignored them for an entire week. So if Levi thinks he can wait me out he's got another thing coming."

Moblit laughed softly in response, and Eren finished lowly with, "I'll go in that cave and hunt him down and drag him out if I have to."

The other scientist made a displeased noise in his throat and warned him, "No, bad idea. I can safely say Hanji's and my careers would be ruined if our intern died on our watch."

Eren snorted, and waved him off after he finished shrugging off the wetsuit and stood there in nothing but his swim trunks. "Don't worry, Moblit, I wouldn't do that to you guys."

And yet, when the waiting game with Levi continued the next day, and the next day, and the day after that, for a total of four days, Eren could safely say he was beginning to grow impatient. Not only that, but Hanji had told him this was the last day she was going to give him to do this, as she didn't think it was good for Levi's health to have him go this long without food, and she felt terribly guilty for essentially starving him like this. Not only that, but she couldn't help but feel that the lack of food combined with Eren's constant presence was stressing him out, and would continue to stress him out until the mermaid reached a breaking point.

 _This is getting ridiculous,_ Eren thought to himself. _I know I said I'd be patient, but he has to eat, whether he wants to deal with humans or not, or he's going to get sick again._

Eren stood up hesitantly from where he was sitting in the sand, hesitating for a moment. Was he really going to do this? Risk getting closer to the cave? The answer was obvious right away: yes of course he was, because far before his own desire to research mermaids, Levi's health and safety came first. And every day Levi went without taking the bait meant that he was getting weaker. And truth be told, for Eren, it was getting harder and harder to surface and eat his lunch knowing that Levi was still down here, hungry.

So, against his better judgement, he moved closer to the cave until he was floating directly inside the mouth of it. He placed his hand against the outer edge of the opening for balance while also allowing his eyes a moment to adjust to this new, all-encompassing darkness.

Meanwhile, both Moblit and Hanji were watching him on the video monitors, and at that moment, unbeknownst to them, had the same exact thought: What was that kid thinking?

"Moblit, you can't let him go in there," Hanji told him over the radio, "He goes in, it's going to make Levi feel even more cornered and he's going to attack him."

"I know, I'm on it," Moblit replied, already removing the laptop from his lap and quickly making his way over to the tank.

It was just before he reached the steps that led to the top that indeed, all Hell began to break loose.

At the angle he was looking into the water from, the scientist couldn't see exactly what was happening, but he knew for sure that something had shot out of the cave and had bowled Eren over, and that was enough to have him frantically running up the stairs, slipping on his gear with trembling fingers and shaking limbs, before diving into the tank in record time. Before he was even able to see properly, Moblit was propelling himself downwards, finding Eren pressed on his back into the sand, which had been stirred up terribly and was floating in a thick cloud around him. More importantly, the remnants of the boy's black warning flare were also floating in the water around him, and Eren's mask was currently beside his head. The boy was still wiggling around though, his eyes squinting through the water, obviously struggling to see and orient himself. Moblit quickly reached his side and helped to pull him up, sparing a quick glance around the tank, looking for Levi, but the mermaid was nowhere in sight. Nonetheless, as soon as Eren began purposefully propelling himself towards the surface, the man pulled out his own cattle prod and swam slight underneath him, protecting their retreat, and helping to push Eren up faster.

They both broke the surface a moment later, Eren gasping for breath and coughing. However, they weren't out of the woods yet.

"Come on, keep going," Moblit urged him, his voice slightly muffled by his mask, "We don't know if he's going to attack us again or not."

Without replying, and with Moblit's help, Eren hauled himself onto the sunning rocks in Levi's tank, resuming his coughing and sputtering once he did so. Moblit soon appeared next to him, ripping off his mask and setting to assess the damage once he deemed they were out of harm's way.

"You hurt anywhere?" he asked once he was kneeling beside Eren. He began to help the boy out of his gear so that he could look for any potential injuries more easily.

Eren was still coughing, but the fit was dying down. Still, it left him unable to speak for a moment, so he chose to tap at the base of his throat, where he felt an unmistakable stinging sensation. Moblit looked down at that area, and once Eren removed his hand, he could see underneath where the boy's pendant sat, a few long, diagonal cuts the crisscrossed over each other. They were all bleeding, but not horribly so. The blood was bright red, not dark, indicating that the cuts weren't deep.

"What happened?" Moblit asked.

After another moment, the coughing finally died down as Eren's lungs finally finished expelling the little bit of water inside them, and he began panting. However, once he felt steady enough to speak, he was cut off by the sound of feet running down the hall, followed by the clank of shoes racing up the ladder. They both looked to see Hanji peeking above the top of the tank, her face red from exertion and her hair wildly disarrayed. She was panting as she asked shrilly, "Are you both okay!? Oh my God, Eren, holy shit"-

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he assured her quickly, "I was just about to tell Moblit what happened."

"Let's do that away from here," Moblit suggested, something everyone agreed on immediately.

Both he and Hanji went down the ladder before Eren, ready to catch him if he fell, the boy appeared to be doing better by the minute, and far from looking frightened from the experience as he should, he was oddly quiet, and there was an expression of deep contemplation on his face. He seemed to be lost in his own head, and he didn't speak until he was prompted by Hanji, when they were down the ladder and standing at the bottom of the tank again.

"So?" she prodded, her and Moblit standing in front of him, both of them highlighted by the blue glow of the water.

"Well," he began, his throat still feeling raw from coughing, "I got impatient, and like an idiot you guys saw me go inside the cave. Well, I didn't get very far past the entrance before something hit me like truck and knocked me flat on my back. I had the wind pushed out of me, and I saw bubbles explode up around my face. When they cleared away, I had Levi's face above mine, and that's when I noticed he pinned my arms above my head. He was bearing his teeth at me, and kept leaning down towards my neck, like he was going to try to bite my throat. I started thrashing around, trying to free my hands so I could grab the cattle prod, but you were right, he is _strong."_

Eren paused to rub his wrist, certain he was going to have finger shaped bruises on them tomorrow. He glanced at the tank briefly, noting that the sand was still settling in the area in front of the cave. He then looked back at the scientists, continuing with, "So I guess he decided that he wasn't going to be able to rip out my throat that way, because he let one of my wrists go, and that's when he tore off my mask, quicker than I could stop him. I kinda started panicking then, because suddenly I couldn't see, or breathe. I'm just glad I had the sense of mind to predict what was going to happen, because I held my breath before he could pull it off all the way. I tried punching him, or kneeing him in the gut, and I think I got him, but it wasn't enough to push him off. Must have just made him madder, because that's when I felt him clawing at my neck, and- shit, he ripped right through my wetsuit."

He looked down for the first time at himself, touching the area again with his fingers, and noticing that they came away red. It was then that Moblit ran over to the bench where he had been sitting and observing Eren before, and came back with a large, fluffy towel, handing it to the boy, who pressed it against his neck. It was then that he paused, he eyes flickering back and forth as he further analyzed what exactly had happened, before saying slowly, "And then Levi, he…his expression changed."

"What do you mean?" Hanji wondered.

"Well, he went from looking like he wanted to kill me, to- I don't know how to explain it. My eyes were blurry from the water and sand, but I could have sworn, I know I saw his eyes get really wide, and suddenly he looked terrified, like I was the scariest thing he had ever seen. And even stranger, right after that, he got right off me and tore ass back into his cave. Then Moblit showed up."

Eren then muttered, half to himself, "But why would he do that? I didn't even have the prod in my hand, why would he get scared like that and let me go?"

Moblit offered, "He probably heard me dive in after you and that spooked him."

The boy shook his head adamantly. "No, no I'm positive he let me go before you dove in. What I don't understand is why. I mean, he had me where he wanted me, he could have easily finished me off. He was already trying to scratch my throat out. So why did he…?"

He narrowed his eyes in further contemplation, growing frustrated when the answers didn't immediately present themselves, and, out of habit, he pulled the towel away and began to fiddle with his pendant, trying to give his fingers something to do. After turning the cool, hard stone over in his fingers a few times, it was then that he remembered something else about the encounter, something vital.

"Levi…" he said, "I saw him glancing between my face and my neck. He looked at my neck, then my face a few times, and that's when he started to get scared. Maybe he was looking at my necklace?"

"That could be it," Moblit suggested, "Maybe mermaids are adverse to aquamarines?"

"No," Eren insisted, "According to legends, that's their preferred gemstone." He growled, growing even more frustrated. "Come on, what are we missing? He looked at me like he was scared, looked me right in the eyes for a solid three seconds, like"- his breathe hitched, and he said softly, "Like he had seen a ghost. Like I was…someone he knew."

Time screeched to a halt, and he felt his stomach sink straight through the floor. Very suddenly, at the same time, his mind began racing a mile a minute. "Wait," he said, "Hanji, when did it say in Levi's file that he was captured?"

"Um, in the late 90s? Early 2000s, I think," she answered.

Eren deliberated for a few minutes, before everything abruptly, sickeningly, wonderfully and terribly, clicked. The boy could practically feel the mental whiplash jerk him forward, and his thoughts began to race so much that they blurred into one, white, single, mass of nothingness. His eyes shot up to the tank again, and he gasped, "Oh my God," before he made his way back over to the glass, before peering into the water.

"No fucking way," he mumbled, and then again, louder, "There's just no _fucking_ way. Oh my God, oh my _God_."

"Eren, what's going on?" Hanji asked, growing concerned.

The boy declared quietly, pointing at the glass, "That's him."

"What do you mean, 'him? Who's him?"

"Levi!" he explained frantically, "Levi's the mermaid I was telling you about, the one I became friends with when I was a kid! It all makes sense. I had my necklace then too. He saw it when he ripped my wetsuit, recognized it, recognized _me_ , and let me go because he _knows me._ My mermaid had dark hair and dark eyes like that too, and he disappeared thirteen years ago."

Eren grew more and more animated as he spoke, beginning to pace slightly as he suddenly exclaimed! "That's what happened to him! That's why he never met me at Shinganshina beach! He was captured and bought by the water park!"

He nearly felt short of breath in his excitement, and he raced back up to Hanji and Moblit, gesturing wildly as he said eagerly, "Do you know what this means? He's not too far gone! If he let me go, if he's my old friend, then I can help him. He used to love humans once, he was so fascinated by them…I can help him trust us again. I can"-

"Eren, slow down," Hanji held up a hand and said, "Even if Levi is the same mermaid from when you were a kid, on the inside, he's not."

"I know that, Hanji, I'm not stupid," he said, "I just know that, based on his actions today, that mermaid I knew is still in there. He could have killed me, but he didn't, which means we still have a shot. I just need to get back in there again and talk to him, then we"-

She cut him off abruptly, "No, absolutely not. I'm not letting you anywhere near that tank, not ever again."

He stared at her incredulously, shaking his head, and wondering if he had heard her right. "W-What? Hanji, you can't be serious, not when"-

"I _am_ serious," she stated firmly, crossing her arms, "You promised me, Eren. You promised you wouldn't get back in that tank again if something went wrong."

"But"-

"That's enough. I'm not hearing anymore, okay?" She narrowed her eyes. "I'll tell you right now, if you go in that tank again, I'm firing you. Understand?"

The boy's eyes widened for a brief moment, before they narrowed again, fear and fury battling it out within his chest. He opened his mouth to argue, before he closed it again, gritting his teeth. He clenched his hands into fists at his side, feeling tears prick at his eyes, before he swallowed his words down, and kept his eyes glued to the floor as he finally ground out, "Yes ma'am."

She and Moblit glanced at each other regretfully, and Moblit added carefully, "I'm sorry, kid. We know how much this whole business meant to you."

Eren simply nodded, once, fighting the tears that were threatening to well up. He wouldn't cry, not here.

He vaguely heard them tell him they would meet him down in the lab where he could clean up further, and felt himself nodding along, but he wasn't really paying attention. Only when he finally heard their footsteps fade away did he reach up to touch his pendant again, noting that it felt slippery and sticky from coming in contact with his blood. He then glanced over at the tank again, peering into the vast, blue, still water, fixing his gaze determinedly on the silent cave, and clenching the aquamarine stone in his fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is inspired partly by Eren's birthstone, and partly by the title of a book by Alice Hoffman, which is also about a mermaid. :)


	6. Morning Made Flesh

When Eren wanted to, he could listen very well and take orders as well as his mother's service dog. He could be very sweet and loyal, respectful and submissive, if he was so inclined.

However, if one asked his parents, when he got a mind to do so, he was also very good at doing the exact opposite of what he was told. If his mother had made a lovely batch of cookies and he had been pointedly told he couldn't have one until after supper, he had no problem looking his parents dead in the eye and taking one out of the jar. If there was a padlock on something he wanted, he simply took it as a challenge to learn how to pick locks. Hell, he had gone out with Reiner despite his parents not approving of him, partially because he thought at the time he was a good man, and partially just to make his parents angry.

So naturally as soon as Hanji had told Eren she forbid him from going back into Levi's tank, that was the first place he went the following morning.

He let himself into the aquarium very early the next morning, much earlier than the park was supposed to open, before the earliest members of the staff even showed up. Luckily, he had a key to get into the facility, and he was able to slip in with no problems. Because he was disobeying Hanji's orders, he assumed today would be his last day there, so he took a minute to appreciate his surroundings around the burning determination and anger that was currently filling him.

Of course, he didn't really want to be fired. But the way he saw it, his disobedience had a purpose far greater than keeping his internship. The health of a fellow intelligent being was at stake. Someone he knew, his good friend. Remembering that innocent, smiling face and matching it up with the experiences Hanji said he went through at the water park made Eren physically sick to think about. His empathy had been evoked before at hearing his story, but now that he knew who exactly the mermaid was, it was a force that couldn't be stopped anymore the rising of the dawn or the setting of the sun. If this was his last day at the center, he would part knowing that hopefully he had given Levi a little comfort, telling him that there was indeed someone in the human world who felt sorry for him and sympathized with his plight. If nothing else, he could apologize on behalf of the humans who had treated him so poorly.

More than anything, he just wanted to see him again. More than anything, above all else, he wanted confirmation for his speculation. Then, he felt he could leave in peace.

Trying to keep his footsteps quiet against the concrete floor, the boy made his way quickly to the food storage room, grabbing several small fish, and then made a beeline for the mermaid's tank. Thoughts of his own safety, that Levi might attack him again, occurred to him briefly, but he soothed himself with the knowledge that he didn't plan on going into the water this time. No, this time, he planned on going no deeper in than the sunning rocks in the tank. If Levi wanted to attack him, he was going to have to do so on land, and he was going to have a much harder time.

At least, that was the hope.

The stars were still shining above his head and the sky was still pitch black when Eren climbed up the stairs to the tank, holding onto the railing with one hand and holding the fish in the other. When he reached the top, he found himself hesitating for the first time since yesterday, when he had made his decision. The still expanse of black water lapping at the edges of the rock stretched out before him, looking far more intimidating than it ever had, especially when he recalled his last memory of being here. For one moment, he felt as if Levi would leap from the depths and drag him down, but he shook his head, immediately dispelling the thought. He had to have faith in Levi. But more than that, he had to have faith that his faith in Levi would be rewarded.

So, taking a deep breath, he summoned that courage again, and strode purposefully out onto the rocks, stopping only when he was by the edge. He gazed into the water for a brief moment, noticing how the water reflected the night sky in a perfect mirror image, especially when it stilled. Not even the sea with its ever restless surface had ever gifted him with an image this beautiful. And perhaps that was what drew him in, that same beauty that had attracted him to the sea's creatures in the first place. It pulled him down to his knees, and commanded him to stick his fingers tentatively in the water.

He began flicking his wrist in the water, creating a bit of noise, hopefully to attract Levi's attention. He could only assume at this point that his hearing was the same as any other marine creature. That is, that it was much better than his own, because sound tended to travel much better in water, and marine animals therefore relied more heavily on their hearing than any of their other senses. This light disturbance and splashing should be enough to do the trick. But just in case, he tentatively called out the mermaid's name, still unsure of the greeting he would receive in response.

"Levi," he ventured, his voice just above a whisper. He knew he should probably call louder, but in the silence of the aquarium, for some reason it didn't feel right. "Hey, Levi, can you hear me? It's Eren. Come on out, I don't want to hurt you."

For several minutes, he kept lightly splashing his hand in the water, feeling the same sense of dread that many do when they are trying to attract a crocodile into rushing onto the shore by doing this. However, nothing happened. The water remained still, and all remained silent. Eren sighed heavily, but still refused to give up, having one more trick that he wanted to try. He picked up one of the fish that he had sat next to him, and placed it in, moving it around a bit to let a bit of the juice leak into the water, encouraging a cloud of scent that would hopefully entice Levi out of his cave. He had to be very hungry by now, and if nothing else, perhaps the promise of a meal would get him to come up to the surface.

"Levi, come on," Eren growled to himself after a few more minutes of nothing happening, "I know you're scared. But it's just me. You know me. I promise all I want to do is give you the fish. It's going to be okay. Please Levi."

More silence, the only sound being the droning hum of the water filter for the tank and the faded roar of the occasional car in the distance. The feeling of his own heart beating at the thin skin of his wrists. The sensation of his utter failure once more.

Eren sighed dejectedly, fixing his gaze into his lap. Why couldn't he do anything right? Couldn't choose the right boyfriends, couldn't help his suffering friend, couldn't save himself. And now, with Hanji and Moblit due to arrive soon and there being no way he could sneak down from here without being seen by one of them, it appeared that he couldn't even choose the right course of action to keep his internship. His future chances in the field might be ruined because of this.

Shaking his head at himself, Eren resigned himself to his fate, tensing his muscles in his thighs and lower back, about to push himself to his feet. However, at that very moment he heard a tiny, barely there noise, the soft sound of the water tinkling as it was disturbed. And with his hand out of the water, Eren knew it most certainly hadn't come from him.

Slowly, he lifted his head, just in time to see the black, starlit surface of the water ripple several feet away from him, as if the night sky itself was parting, to reveal a pale head with a dark mop of wet hair clinging to its scalp. The head rose until only its eyes were above the water. Said eyes glistened in the dark, staring unnervingly at him, and Eren could swear he saw a clear membrane slide in front of those eyes for a moment to clear the water away, before sliding back in the corners of the mermaid's eyes again. Eren froze, his heart skipping several beats in his shock. He could only watch as Levi lifted his head tentatively a little more so that his head cleared the water completely. A sharp exhale rang out loudly in the quiet, sounding almost like a sneeze amplified by the walls of the tank, but Eren figured that it was just the mermaid expelling the air from his lungs.

For a long moment, the two of them simply took each other in, figuring out what the other was going to do. Eren still couldn't believe that Levi had in fact come out of hiding, had come out just for him. That had to be a sign, a confirmation that this was in fact the mermaid from his childhood.

Even though he was halfway across the tank, as the dawn began to break, Eren could see the reddening light shift over Levi's face, and thus could see that he had raised his head slightly and that his nostrils were flaring. Finally daring to breathe again, Eren smelled the fish, and realized that this was of course what Levi was scenting. Right, the mermaid was still very hungry.

Heart pounding, he lifted the fish and slowly held in front of him, as far as his arm would reach. Levi fixed the fish with a longing, heavy stare, but didn't move, causing Eren to coax, "Go on. You can have it. I know you're hungry, and I'm sorry that's partially my fault, I, um…"

He shut his mouth before he could ramble anymore, waiting to see what Levi would do. The mermaid sniffed the air again and scooted closer, before backing right up again to his previous position, narrowing his eyes.

"I know you don't trust me," Eren said, "But you used to once. It's still me, I'm still that same person."

Levi wrinkled his nose and exhaled sharply again, this time in a real sneeze, still vibrating with indecision. Eren tried once more to tempt him into coming closer with, "There has to be a reason why you came when I called, right? You've never done that for anyone else. You trust me on some level. You know I'd never hurt you. I have nothing to defend myself with. If you take this fish from my hand, there's nothing stopping you from pulling me under with you, and I know that." He swallowed hard, nerves trembling in his stomach as he realized the implication of his own words, but it didn't stop him from speaking. "So come on. What do you have to lose? Please Levi."

Levi blinked at him slowly, raised his head again and sniffed the air, before very carefully, just a few inches at a time, swimming over towards Eren. The boy swore it was the longest couple of minutes of his life, the amount of time it took for the mermaid to cross the tank and stop just out of his reach. He kept his eyes fixed on Eren the entire time, the pupils blown wide in the dark. The occasional eye shine that appeared only caused Levi to look more unearthly, more animal-like, and therefore more dangerous. It took every fiber of Eren's muscles not to yank his arm back when the mermaid leaned forward as far as he could without putting himself in the boy's space to sniff the fish, as if confirming what it was.

Then, without warning, lightning fast, he snatched it out of Eren's hand, pulling so hard that he nearly wrenched his arm right out of its socket. When Eren recovered and righted himself so that he didn't fall into the water, he saw that Levi had disappeared again, a few ripples on the surface the only sign that he had been there. However, Eren didn't move from his spot just in case, simply watching the water until, sure enough a couple of minutes later, Levi appeared again. Eren smirked.

"I figured you'd be back," he stated, "See, I brought the small fish on purpose. Didn't think one was going to be able to fill you up, you know? So you'd have to come back and take food out of my hand again."

At those words, the mermaid gave a frustrated growl, sounding very much like an angry cat, and Eren could swear he even saw Levi's tail lashing under the surface, at least as well as it could while it still held him afloat. The boy held up the second fish enticingly, shaking it a little.

"Come on now," he said, "It's right here for you. It wasn't so bad the first time, was it?"

Levi growled again, but this time he did make his way over to Eren even faster, and also took the fish from him just that much quicker and with far less hesitation. And, upon seeing that Eren had even more for him, this time, he didn't bother to dive back down again. Eren felt his chest swell with victory. Even if it was because Levi didn't think it was worth the effort to swim back and forth, Eren liked to think the reason he stayed on the surface was because he, at least tentatively, trusted Eren, and that's why he was okay eating in front of him. Either way, the fact that he took food out of the boy's hand spoke volumes.

"Is it good?" Eren ventured, feeling awkward in the silence.

The mermaid didn't reply, so focused on devouring his fish, and Eren didn't think he would anyway. So, feeling increasingly more nervous, and feeling the need to keep talking.

"I um, I'm really glad you came up to see me," he rambled, "And I'm really happy I did get to see you again. I heard your life hasn't been the best so far, so I hope I can change that."

Levi stopped eating for a moment, freezing and meeting the stare Eren hadn't realized he'd been fixing him with. His stiff posture didn't strike Eren as meaning anything good, a fact that was only confirmed when Levi started growling, long and deep and loud, the sound possessing an eerie quality like that of a bobcat's growl. Eren was also filled with the same sense of foreboding, as well as a strong desire to submit so as not to incur Levi's wrath any further. The eye contact while he was eating must have seemed threatening, like he was going to take the food back, and that was the opposite of how Eren wanted to appear right now.

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized immediately, "I didn't mean to make you mad. I won't look at you while you eat, I'm sorry."

Without thinking, Eren lowered himself onto the rock until he was laying completely on his front, keeping his eyes fixed on the space between his hands. Luckily, when Levi saw him do that, the growling ceased, and the wet sounds of teeth tearing fish flesh resumed again.

When Levi finished polishing off all of his fish, Eren dared to look up at him again, to see that he was still very far away, but for some reason hadn't dived back down into his cave yet. Instead, he was looking Eren up and down, eyes narrowed with scrutiny. His upper lip was also twitching with the urge to curl back and reveal his teeth.

"Hey now, shh," Eren tried to placate the mermaid, "It's alright. I understand why you're tense, I do. I mean, it'd be weird if you weren't, you know? Humans have been so rotten to you for as long as you can remember. Hanji and Moblit told me some what they did to you at that park. How they starved you and hurt you enough to give you all those scars, how horrible your initial capture was. And that's not fair. No one should have to go through that, not you or the dolphins that were with you. Not the animals that were kept in the park with you. I can't…I can't imagine how horrifying and degrading that experience must have been, being made to perform day after day and being treated like garbage in return. It's not…It's not fair."

The whole time Eren had been speaking, Levi's face gradually relaxed, and the anger seemed to fade away slightly. He kept his guard up of course, his shoulders still stiff and his tail still rigid with the desire to flee, but he couldn't bring himself to. No human had said this many words to him in a long time, or talked to him like a fellow intelligent being and not something they could exploit, whether it be for money or for science, two concepts he still barely understood the meanings of. No human since-

And there had been that necklace yesterday, floating up between them as Levi had pinned him like something out of one of the any faded dreams he'd have about happier times long past. He hadn't recognized the face or the voice attached to the necklace but he'd know that gem anywhere. He knew the kind heart that beat underneath it, and he wondered if this was really boy that he remembered from all those years ago, was that kind heart still there? Levi felt as if his own was long gone, and yet the possibility that this could be his friend…

Just like that, Eren pulled the aquamarine pendant out from underneath his shirt, and when he did that, something vulnerable and pink and raw unfurled and squirmed inside Levi's blackened heart, trying to push its way out as a bird tries to break free of its egg. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, much less what he was hearing.

"I'm so sorry and ashamed of what they did to you," the boy was all but crying, "On behalf of all humans, I'm sorry and ashamed. You did nothing to deserve being hurt so badly. You- you're so beautiful and precious, you and the rest of your kind." He lifted his head, and Levi started, seeing that his eyes were indeed now filled with tears. He couldn't remember ever seeing a human cry around him. He didn't even think they did. Eren tapped against his chest in a way that sent a thrill of remembrance down his spine, right over his gemstone. "You know me, Levi. It's _me_ , it's really me, from back then. It's Eren. I'd never hurt you. I want to be your friend again, if you'll have me. I worried about you for those thirteen years, thinking you were dead, and I'm so happy to see that you're not. Please Levi. Please…"

He trailed off, furiously wiping at his eyes. What was wrong with him? Crying wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't magically make Levi trust him again. And when he had been living with Reiner, it hadn't made the abuse stop. It hadn't made the man suddenly take pity on him, in fact it had done the opposite. It had gotten him yelled at, ridiculed, and worse, threatened. Therefore, he had had to learn how to suppress his emotions, and it seemed that after years of doing so, that dam holding them back had finally burst, and all he could do was cry. Cry for himself, cry for Levi, cry for all the ways they had been hurt since they had last seen each other. Once more, Eren desperately wished they could both go back to that summer, when their scars didn't exist and they were both young and fresh and vulnerable, happily naïve and wonderfully caught up in each other. He cried and wished, tried to stop his crying and wishing, and yet couldn't seem to do either. His sobs came out dry one minute, and then disgustingly wet the next, until he didn't even know what he wanted anymore.

And then, suddenly, a tiny noise he thought he'd never hear again made his ears prick and broke through the sounds of his crying. It was hesitant, fragile, but there. A small, cooing warble, questioning and nervous all at once, like the sound of a dove. It prompted Eren to lift his head to see that Levi had closed the distance between them so that he was close enough to touch the boy if he so chose. His pale skin had been completely lit and painted by the colors of the sunrise, as if the morning itself had opened given birth to this creature. Once again, it made him breathtakingly beautiful to Eren's eyes, otherworldly, a brand of the morning made flesh. The boy suppressed a shudder from the fact that Levi was looking directly at him now, his body relaxed and almost open as he faced him. His eyes were still blown in the low light, two silver, liquid pools, sparkling gems themselves. Eren watched the muscles of his throat work as he continued to coo, the sound having turned soft and breathy. Eren wondered if Kuchel would coo like that to Levi when he was crying as well.

More surprising, Eren watched as Levi cautiously pawed at the edge of the stone, near where Eren's arm rested. The boy didn't move, too afraid he would shatter the moment. Was Levi trying to touch him and simply didn't have the courage? Was he looking at Eren's tears and trying to comfort him? Or just trying to gain his attention for something? Soon, the coos dissolved into sad, frustrated whimpers, and Levi pulled his hand back to himself. Eren sat up further, the movement causing Levi to jump, to which Eren apologized for softly. However, the mermaid didn't retreat back underneath the waves, as the boy was afraid he would. Instead, he did something very extraordinary.

Eren watched as Levi kept his hand over his chest, and began to move it over his collarbone in a repetitive motion that, though shaky, Eren recognized right away. He was signing an "e" over where Eren's gem sat. Eren's sign name.

The boy at last managed a smile through his tears, and a small laugh that sounded very clogged and congested, but Levi didn't seem to mind. "You remembered," the boy said, "Yes, that's me. It's me, Levi."

Levi brightened at that, straightening up in the water with a little smile curling the corners of his own lips. Now that he had Eren focused on him, he pointed at his own chest, then his head, and then at Eren. The boy narrowed his eyes in confusion, watching as Levi repeated the motion a few times, before he understood.

"You thought about me?" he guessed.

Levi nodded, and then Eren continued, "For the entire time you were in that park?"

The mermaid nodded his head, his smile brightening further.

So touched was he that against his better judgement, knowing it was a promise he wouldn't be able to keep, Eren told him, "Listen, I promise I won't leave you again. I'll find a way to keep seeing you. Does that sound good?"

Levi paused for a moment, thinking it over. He had become so used to the solitude of his cave and his tank. Solitude meant safety. It meant the humans weren't bothering him or hurting him. However, he also knew that safety didn't always equal happiness. And truthfully, though he wasn't being hurt, he had also been miserable in that cave. Though no one had been hurting him or forcing him to perform, he couldn't figure out why he was so miserable. And when he recognized Eren again after he had pinned him down the day before, when he had fled into his cave and thought it over, he knew.

Because he was lonely.

He was painfully, desperately lonely. His heart was still suffering, and some deep instinct was crying out for companionship. His intelligent mind was demanding that he bond with someone, that he attach himself to another intelligent being, someone he could communicate with, someone he could share his troubles with, someone that would touch him and talk to him gently, to give him those things that social creature in him craved. As much as he tried to deny it, something small in him, something young, something he couldn't explain, still wanted comfort, still wanted someone to play with, still wanted someone to interact with. He was beginning to see that it was just as important for his health as food was.

And now here was someone who was offering to give him those things, someone who had given him that interaction he craved in the past. Eren had come to his rescue when he had been small and friendless, had treated him like he would his human friends and accepted Levi immediately. He had just told Levi he had thought about him during their time apart, worried about, hadn't forgotten him, and was willing to take him back into his heart again like nothing had ever happened.

How could he say no to that?

Levi nodded, giving a couple rapid chirps in succession, and sneezing excitedly. Eren laughed, to his immense happiness, clearly also pleased.

The boy stood up and brushed imaginary dust off of his knees, wiping some of the fish juice on his pants, before saying, "Alright, good. Awesome. I'll um, I'll get going for now then, okay? I'll come back again before the day is out. I don't care how I have to do it, but I will."

Levi grunted in acknowledgement, eyes still bright and alert, and he watched from his place at the end of his sunning rocks as Eren headed back over to the ladder, keeping Levi in his sights at all times. Once he situated himself on the ladder, he began to climb down it quietly, stopping when his head was the only thing visible to the mermaid, and telling him, "I'll see you again soon."

The mermaid grunted once more in reply, the noise guttural and low in his throat, never taking his eyes off Eren, and Eren doing the same thing, until the boy disappeared over the edge of the tank.

Eren kept his landing on the concrete floor as quiet as possible, before deciding he might actually have time to sneak into the lab without being seen. He could always just say he was late again, forgetting for a brief moment that there was in fact a camera by Levi's tank. So it scared the ever living out of him when he turned around after getting off the ladder to see Hanji standing there, her arms crossed and her eyes eyebrows raised. Eren gasped sharply, jumping a foot in the air, his excuses were scared right out of him.

"Saw you on the cameras when I first came in," she explained in a monotone voice. "You told me you were stubborn and reckless Eren, but I didn't think you were this reckless. You disobeyed a direct order from your supervisor not even twelve hours after I gave it to you. And you did it in the most dangerous tank in the whole aquarium with not one bit of protective gear or any other measures of protection on your person."

Eren immediately lowered his head, almost bringing his shoulders right up by his ears. At least, Hanji figured, he had the decency to look guilty. However, he kept quiet, so she continued, "I could ask you what you were thinking, but it's clear you weren't."

"I was," Eren insisted.

"Thinking about what?"

"About Levi. I just wanted him to-to not be alone. I just wanted him to know that there's someone out there who's on his side. If he had killed me in the process, I would have been okay with that."

"Your parents wouldn't have," Hanji reminded him, and Eren flinched.

He sighed heavily, and said, "I know. I suppose what's done is done. So, I'll just be on my way out, alright? I'm sorry for not listening to you, but I have to say I don't regret it. I just hope that somehow I'll be allowed to see him again. He doesn't deserve to live like this, Hanji. He may not be living at the water park anymore, but with no one to interact with, he's just as miserable here as he was there."

With that, Eren turned to leave, but he only made it a few steps before Hanji stopped him by calling out, "Wait a minute Eren."

He halted, turning around hesitantly back towards her, but stayed where he was. She instead came to him, stopping when she was in front of him. "I should be telling you to leave," Hanji said, "But I also stood there at the bottom of that tank for long enough to know that letting you go now would be a huge mistake."

Eren's eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise, even more so when she continued, "Moblit and I never thought we'd find someone that Levi would willingly come out of that cave for, not for food or anything else. And you were able to get him out of there with a smile and a few kind words."

At that, he found himself smiling, still surprised, but also touched by the sincerity of her words.

"You have something with Levi no one else does," she said slowly, "And I feel stupid for not seeing it sooner. You needed to take that chance and push things to their limits with him in order to get a response, and boy did you get one. You had that past trust with him, and it looks like you got it back. This is good, Eren. In light of that trust, I guess I have no choice but to keep you on as an intern."

Eren asked eagerly, "And let me work with Levi?"

"And let you work with Levi." Her smile then shifted, and her tone lowered as she said, "But you not listening, even though it had good intentions, can't go unpunished, okay?"

The boy deflated at that, but he understood. "Yeah, I get it."

"I think we can have you clean the lab from top to bottom for the next week," Hanji decided, "Give the janitors a break. Only when you're done with that and your other chores for the day, can you go and start working with Levi. Sound fair?"

Though cleaning their dirty lab didn't sound fun, Eren supposed it could be a lot worse. He agreed, "Yes ma'am, that's fine."

"Good," she said firmly. "Now, what did you have in mind for him?"

She prompted him to start walking, and, excitedly, on their way back to the lab, Eren began explaining to her what he wanted to do with Levi to further his trust and stimulate his mind. How he wanted to make his experience at the aquarium the best he possibly could and make the mermaid excited to wake up every morning.

How he wanted to work to eventually help him forget about the bad experiences he'd had at the park.

Things were going to be looking up for all of them. At least, that's what they all thought.


	7. Blue Sky Day

Eren all but jogged into the aquarium the next day, feeling very much like a kid on Christmas morning. Even though it was only the day after he had gained Levi's tentative trust, already, he couldn't believe how well things were going. Yesterday he had returned to the mermaid's tank twice more, giving him both his lunch and dinner. Levi had taken the food from his hand again, doing so much more easily, and by dinner time, Eren dared to believe that he seemed almost excited to see him again. Even though he still clearly didn't want to touch Eren or have Eren touch him, the wary look in his eyes seem to diminish every minute he spent with him, the tenseness in his frame slowly bleeding out as he became used to Eren's voice. Eren of course did most of the talking since Levi's ability to communicate with him was severely limited, but he was able to answer yes or no to things, as well as able to mime certain answers.

That was how Eren learned about Kuchel's fate.

Of course, it had stung the boy's chest severely, knowing that Levi didn't have his mother waiting for him out in the ocean, that neither of them would ever see her again. That Levi had to lose her in such a traumatic way. But it did make Eren make another promise to Levi.

"I know I can't replace your mom," he had told him solemnly, "But I promise I'll be there for you and watch over you in her stead, okay?"

Levi had stared at him, wide eyed, almost dropping the fish he had in his hands. Just what was this boy? Already making these huge promises to the mermaid when it had only been less than a day since they had reconnected. They were all things Levi had wanted to hear ever since his mother had died, one of them being for someone to offer to protect him. He obviously couldn't protect himself, and constantly having to try and do so when it always ended with him in pain or being humiliated in some way…it would be nice to have that burden lifted from his shoulders.

However, he still wasn't sure if Eren genuinely meant what he was promising, or if he was just talk. After all, people could say a lot of things in the heat of the moment.

Yet, one thing he knew Eren did mean was when the boy offered to teach him sign language again.

"Things would be easier for you if you could communicate, not just with me, but with the other people here," Eren had suggested. He had then looked down and away, his cheeks turning a light pink as he added, "And I mean, there's a lot of things I'd like to ask you. About yourself. About mermaids in general. If that would be okay. I want to learn everything I can about you and your kind. I want to make the world a better place for mermaids."

And he had sounded so genuine in his request and reasoning, that Levi found himself nodding in response.

Hence why Eren was so excited. Today, after he was finished with his chores (and scrubbing the lab, of course) he was going to give Levi his meal, and then begin their first sign language lesson. He was also curious to see how much Levi remembered from their childhood, especially since he, against all odds, seemed to remember Eren's sign name, and their word for "promise." He made his way over to the mermaid tank first, figuring that it couldn't hurt to at least say good morning to Levi. That is, if he was even awake, and even wanted to see Eren. But he had looked so happy yesterday at the boy's suggestions, surely he wouldn't mind.

Eren was about to head over to the back room located near the tank, preparing to grab some breakfast for Levi, when the sounds of strange voices began to filter down to him. He paused, halting in the hallway and straining his ears. There were many different voices, most of them men that he didn't know, but to his surprise, he could swear he heard Hanji and Moblit's voices too. And they did not sound happy, but Eren couldn't understand what they were saying from this distance. He began to get closer, a look of confusion on his face, a look that slowly morphed into one of fear when he realized where exactly the voices were coming from: Levi's tank. And the fear turned abruptly into panic when he registered another sound above the sounds of the voices.

The sound of Levi shrieking.

With that, Eren burst into a run, his footsteps echoing loudly against the concrete floor, matching the sound of his heart that had begun to pound in his ears. He raced up the ladder, the voices growing louder and more coherent once he began to ascend it. When he was about halfway up, he could hear the sound of Hanji arguing with someone.

"Why is this so hard for you to understand?" the man was saying.

Hanji was yelling back, "Oh no, _you're_ the one whose moustache is as lacking as your brain, Nile. You knew when you bought him that Levi was too young to be separated from his mother, that the both of them shouldn't have even been kept in the nets in the first place. They should have been released the moment those guys realized they had caught them, and yet you purchased them anyway. You helped to fund an illegal business and then you run an inhumane business of your own!"

"And how is it any different than what you lot do here?" Nile retorted, "Levi has just gone from one tank to another. If we took him back, he wouldn't even know the difference. The difference would be that he'd be actually doing something useful if he was back"-

Hanji bellowed, "You gave up all of your rights to him when we seized him from Trost Sealand! He's the property of the aquarium now and I'm not going to let you"-

"The park has fallen on hard times," the man interrupted, "And regardless of his past behavior, this mermaid was our most lucrative resident. My boss has told him to bring him back to the park by any means necessary, you understand? If you don't relinquish him willingly, then we're going to have to take him by force."

"The hell you will!" Moblit growled.

By then, Eren reached the top of the ladder, and he had heard enough to understand what was going on. However, nothing prepared him for the chaotic sight that greeted him. The man called Nile (who was indeed sporting a lacking moustache, as Hanji had mentioned) was in Hanji's face, the two of them squaring off like a pair of angry cobras. Moblit, whose face was red with fury, was slightly behind her, with another man wearing a Trost Sealand shirt behind him as well, looking ready to hold Moblit back if necessary. However, the thing that filled Eren with rage was seeing a couple of other men, both sporting Trost Sealand shirts, leaning of the edge of the tank and strategically setting nets in the water around Levi, while another poked at the mermaid with a long cattle prod, guiding him into the net. The shrieking was coming from Levi when the prods struck him. He jolted every time they touched him, alternating between screaming from the pain and snarling up at his tormentors.

Upon seeing that, Eren didn't think; he just acted. He saw red, and charged forward. However, before he could get very far, the man standing behind Moblit intercepted him and grabbed one of his arms, tugging Eren's body firmly to his. Erenn of course immediately went of the offensive, shouting at the man to let him go and wriggling around as hard as he could. However, the man rode out his struggles, keeping Eren trapped where he was. It was only when Eren stopped struggling so much that he looked over to see that Hanji, Nile, and Moblit had noticed him, and that Hanji and Moblit were looking at him with concern.

"What the hell are they doing here?" Eren growled, narrowing his eyes at Nile, "They can't have Levi, they can't!"

"And who's this?" Nile asked.

"My intern," Hanji said distractedly, and then added more firmly, "Eren, you need to leave. I've got this, alright? They're not going anywhere with Levi."

"The hell we aren't," Nile told her, "I think he's almost in the net now."

Eren's head shot up to see that what he said was in fact true. The net was in the process of being closed, cutting off Levi's retreat. When the mermaid saw this, he began fighting anew, trying to break out. He first tried to swim over the top of the net, practically throwing himself over it as it was pulled tight, but he was pushed back by the prods. With a pained yelp that cut into Eren's heart, he fell back, but continued to thrash, pushing against the walls of the net. Eren began struggling anew as well, trying to pull himself out of the man's grip, but the man was quite strong, and bigger than he was, so he was able to hold tight. Slowly, the other men began to lift the net out of the water, Levi thrashing with everything he had. But of course, the more he struggled, the more he entangled himself, until Eren could see that the netting had wrapped itself several times around his tail and one of his arms. The more trapped he became, the higher pitched Levi's cries became, turning from anger to terror.

"Let him go!" Eren screamed, "Before I bounce your fucking heads off the floor! _Let him go!"_

Hearing Eren cry out like that caused Levi's head to swing around, and for him to fix his wide, scared eyes onto the boy. Once he saw him, he began to cry out anew, though the pitch changed once more. He was still terrified of course, but now he was shrieking more regularly, in a way that to Eren sounded like he was trying to speak.

Like he was begging.

 _Help me!_ his eyes were saying, _Please! Please help me! Don't let them take me, I can't go back there again!_

After that, several things happened at once.

Eren dimly heard Hanji and Moblit threatening Nile with something if they didn't let Levi go this instant, while Nile threatened them back. However, he was hyper-focused on Levi, who, while Eren continued to wrench himself around in an effort to break free, had managed to wriggle an arm out from one of the holes in the thick netting, and slashed outward. His nails connected with the thigh of one of the men hauling him in, the one who was holding more of the netting, causing the man to cry out in pain and drop his half. This left the other man to try and compensate, grabbing desperately at the net as it started to slide back into the water. However, he wasn't quick enough or strong enough to stop it, and it slid through his fingers, causing Levi to tumble back into the water with a loud splash that was like a death knell to Eren's heart. Even more so when he saw Levi begin to sink like a stone downwards underneath the surface with a final shriek that was cut off when he his head disappeared under the water, and it was then that Eren realized with horror that the net was weighted. The kind of net meant to sit on the bottom and that's exactly where it was going to drag Levi.

Eren's thoughts began to race, blurring together until they became one pure white mass with one remarkably simple concept: save Levi. He didn't think, didn't bother to stop himself or ask for anyone's opinion. Instead, he reeled back and punched the man who held him in the jaw as hard as he could, causing the man to let him go with a grunt. Once free, he wasted no time in kicking off his shoes faster than he had ever done so, adrenaline coursing through his veins. He zeroed in on one of the men that had tried to haul in Levi with the net, noticing that he had a large knife in his pocket, racing over and snatching it from him before the man even knew what had hit him. Finally, he ran down towards the area where Levi had disappeared under the water, his bare feet pattering on the concrete, his panting breaths and roaring blood loud in his ears. He faintly heard Hanji calling after him, trying to stop him, before he put the blade in his teeth and dove off the edge of the tank, thrusting his arms out in front of him and sucking a huge breathe into his lungs.

He didn't even wait to regain his senses; he just began swimming downwards. Eren cracked his eyes open, the water stinging his eyes slightly, but he could barely feel the pain over his desperation. It didn't take him long to spot Levi, the mermaid and the net a dark shape on the bottom of the tank. He was still throwing himself every which way, trying to push the net off, stirring up the sand considerably. Eren locked onto him and began to swim down with powerful, sure strokes, clenching the knife in his teeth so tightly that his jaw ached.

The moment he reached Levi, he grabbed for the net, trying to anchor himself to the bottom of the tank. The mermaid froze for a brief second when he noticed that Eren was there, and then when he registered his presence, began to click and squeal frantically. He thrust his free arm out through one of the large holes in the net, his hand flailing around, and Eren grabbed it without hesitation. He spared a moment to run his thumb over Levi's knuckles, and meet his wide-eyed gaze, reassuring him without words. _Don't panic. I'm here. It's going to be okay._

Levi squeezed his hand, trilling in a way that didn't sound quite as afraid as he had before. The fear was still there, but the blind panic had ebbed away slightly now that he knew Eren was here to help him. If Eren had the luxury, he would marvel at the fact that Levi had willingly asked for his touch and gained comfort from it, but now was not the time. First, he tried to lift the netting, wondering if he was strong enough to bring it and Levi back to the surface, where he knew it would be much easier to get him untangled. However, that hope was soon dashed, as he found after a few fruitless tugs that the combined weight of Levi and the net was far too heavy for him to lift even an inch off the floor. It had after all taken two men to lift it before. So, Eren quickly switched plans, working his way down the net, before he took the knife out of his mouth and began to cut away at the netting that held Levi's tail captive. However, with a jolt he realized that this was not going to be a fast or easy process; the rope was thick, each cord thicker than his finger, and it was taking several seconds to cut through each one. Some were taking him up to half a minute, and the constant sawing motions made his muscles being to burn quickly. Yet, desperation and adrenaline kept him going, and his own stubbornness refused to let him give up.

He was almost through freeing Levi's tail when he felt the urge to expel the breath of air he had taken from his lungs. He stubbornly kept it for as long as he could, but too soon, he was forced to exhale, a huge cloud of bubbles floating up around his head. Now time truly was of the essence, as he felt that the surface was too far away for him to reach, and he was almost done. He just had to free Levi's arm, and then help him wriggle out of the netting.

Eren moved up towards Levi's head, beginning to work on his arm, cutting with more urgency now. It wasn't long before he felt the tell-tale burn in his lungs, but he pushed it away from the forefront of his mind. Luckily, Levi had tried to help him, chewing on the rope, managing to make some of the ropes weaker and therefore easier for Eren to saw through.

Levi watched him, saw the concentration on Eren's face, saw the pain flicker across it when the burn in his lungs grew unbearable. Eren closed his eyes for a moment, trying to bear down and get through it, but he simply couldn't force his mind to override his most basic urge, and he knew soon he wouldn't be able to stop himself from racing to the surface. However, at this point, he most likely wouldn't make it in time, and Levi would soon need to breathe as well. He forced his shaking fingers to work, gritting his teeth and focusing all of his energy on finishing his task. He had almost freed Levi's upper arm, when he felt his body taking over completely. An urge stronger than he could control commanded him to go towards the surface, to _breathe_.

However, to Levi's horror, he didn't make it far. He watched as he turned around, managed to rise a little bit, before he gradually stopped fighting. The knife fell from his lax hands, and he began to sink. Had he breathed in some of the water? Most likely. Shrieking with desperation, Levi began to look around frantically, praying for a miracle, shaking on the ropes, as if they would miraculously unravel. He cried once more for Eren, hoping to rouse him, but the boy wasn't moving, and he could feel the burn in his own lungs growing.

Suddenly, a glint caught his eye, and he saw that, amazingly, Eren's knife had landed in the sand near him. Without hesitation, he reached for it, wrapping his trembling fingers around it, and with an urgency bordering on madness, he began to cut the remaining ropes, glancing back at Eren every once in a while. He gritted his teeth against the desire to whimper, to break down and cry at his helplessness and terror. If Eren died now, when Levi had just gotten back him back after wanting to see again for so many years…

Finally, the last rope snapped. Levi dropped the knife, wiggled wildly forwards through the tight hole he created, shoving the net over his hips and tightening up his flukes so that they would fit, finally flicking it off of his tail. He wasted no time in swimming towards Eren, wrapping an arm around the boy's waist, and taking off towards the surface as fast as he possibly could.

Meanwhile, on top of the tank, Hanji and Nile were shouting at each other while Moblit prepped an oxygen tank, fully prepared to jump in after Eren.

"You go in there and you'll both die," he was saying.

"If we don't cut Levi out, there'll be three deaths," Hanji argued back.

Nile shook his head. "You cut that mermaid out of that net down there, he'll kill both your intern and your partner. He won't care that you helped him. I'm telling you, he's too far gone to recognize who's his friend and who's not."

"Yeah, you guys made sure of that," Moblit mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. Hanji could barely hold back her smirk, while Nile growled lowly at him.

However, before any of them could do anything more, they saw that a dark shape was rocketing from the bottom of the tank towards the surface. And, against the freshly risen sun, Levi burst powerfully out of the water, drawing in a desperate gulp of air once his head hit the air. Before he even finished filling his lungs with air, he shook his head, wicking the water away from his eyes, before he focused his attention back on Eren. He made sure that the boy's head was above the surface, holding his body firmly against his own. Eren's head lolled back on his shoulder, but otherwise he didn't stir. He spared a look at the shore, seeing that his sunning rocks, which extended halfway into his tank didn't have any humans on it, and it was there that he decided to swim towards. Hanji, Nile and the others watched as he pushed and pulled Eren towards them carefully, before tenderly lifting him onto them.

He rolled Eren onto his side, before hefting himself onto the rocks behind him, purposefully placing himself between Eren and the water so that he didn't accidentally fall back in. He leaned over him, gently turning his head towards him, staring at him with concern.

When after a few more moments he remained quiet, Levi felt his nervousness grow. He called out quietly, then louder, then louder still, growing almost angry at the lack of response. When Eren still didn't open his eyes, the mermaid felt his fear rise up his throat, threatening to choke him. It couldn't really end like this, could it? Eren couldn't…he couldn't leave him. He began to mewl and whimper, and nudged his cheek against Eren's desperately. His whimpering only grew in pitch the longer the boy remained still, bordering on hysterical. He cupped Eren's face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs along his cheeks, begging him in his own tongue, _Wake up, please. Please don't let it end like this._

However, someone must have heard him, or Eren was far too stubborn to give up yet, because his lips parted slightly wider, weakly at first, and then more strongly, searching for air, finding none. He gasped weakly again, like a newborn, his body trying once more to draw in air, but this time found that there was water in his lungs in the way. He coughed feebly once. Twice. And then, it triggered a stronger fit, one that actually made Levi's chest hurt sympathetically to hear. In fact, Eren began to cough so strongly that the effort made him dry heave. He remained close by, one hand hovering in the air, unsure if he should touch Eren or if that would just make it worse. He found that he had to bite his lip against the urge to throw up though as he watched Eren's stomach ripple around the spasms that now gripped it. The boy had rolled over, arms trembling from the exertion of holding himself up on his elbows.

Eventually, Levi finally did set a hesitant, webbed hand between Eren's shoulder blades, unable to stand the sight of him clearly in so much pain without at least attempting to comfort him. He watched Eren's back heave as he gasped harshly for air around his coughs, his throat sounding raw and shredded. He wasn't able to stop coughing for several minutes, his face red with the exertion and sweat prickling along his hairline and back. However, once his body decided that the water was gone, it finally gave him a few moments to just concentrate on breathing, though it still kept forcing him to cough every other minute for a while.

It was then that the adrenaline bled out of him, and Eren sank, boneless, back down onto the rocks. And, despite the warmth of the summer air, he felt himself beginning to shiver, cold settling into his core and spreading to his limbs. He lay helplessly on his side once more, too weak to even lift his head again, much less curl himself up tighter to conserve warmth. He distantly hear the clatter of footsteps against the rocks, and as he lay there, trying with all the energy he had left to just concentrate on breathing, he managed to crack his eyes open and see that Hanji, Moblit, Nile, and his men had joined them on the rocks, but had stopped a few feet away. Each of them were eyeing him with different expressions. Most notably, everyone's mouths were hanging open, but while Moblit and Hanji looked openly shocked and wonderfully surprised, Nile just looked horrified.

"We need to get your intern away from him," he said hurriedly, "Otherwise Levi is going to tear his throat out."

Moblit was shaking his head. "Hold up Nile, I think"-

"No, he's in danger as long as he's near that mermaid, we need to"-

However, the man never got to finish his sentence, because at that moment, he was interrupted by a dreadful snarl that caught everyone off guard. They looked down to see that Levi was the one that had made the noise. But he wasn't making it towards Eren, oh no. He was instead leaning over the boy, holding his upper body up and caging Eren between his arms. He curled his tail around him as best he could, as if to shield him, and every muscle in his body had gone rigid. Levi was gazing at all of them with murderous intent, growling long and chilling and low, his eyes narrow slits of fury. More specifically, his intense gaze was fixed upon Nile. When the man took a hesitant step towards Levi, perhaps to make a move to separate Eren from him, the mermaid simply coiled up tighter and made a noise that made everyone's hearts pound with the sudden rush of fear it instilled in them. It was almost like a roar, but unlike any roar they had heard from any other creature. It vibrated the bones and clawed at the ears unnaturally, like the scream of an angry, undead spirit. And in the same vein, it promised just as much pain if any of them got any closer to Levi, or the boy beneath him.

In that moment, he looked every inch the feral beast that had killed the trainers at Trost Sealand.

Hanji gave a short huff of laughter, taking in Nile's shocked expression, and saying with a smirk, "Looks like _you're_ the one in danger Nile."

All the man could do was stare, glancing between Levi and Hanji, and Eren as well, who was peeking at him blearily from between Levi's arms. He gritted his teeth, spitting, "I'll take you to court for this, Hanji. I can you know. Your intern assaulted one of my men, don't think I won't press charges."

However, she didn't miss a beat. Hanji simply leaned back on her heels, crossed her arms, and countered, "And we have documentation that says you lost your rights to Levi after you surrendered him to us. We could also press charges against _you_ for attempted theft. And in this case, those charges would be far heftier than some piddley-ass assault charges."

At that reminder, Nile shut his mouth with an audible click. Knowing she had him, Hanji leaned forward, speaking to him in a conspirator's whisper. "Listen, I think your man there ran into a door when he wasn't looking. And I think we can both agree that we never saw each other here today. Does that sound reasonable to you?"

The man gritted his teeth hard, his jaw twitching with repressed fury, before he agreed tightly, "Fine."

He sent one last filthy look down towards Levi, who was eyeing him with equal contempt, before he left without another word, his men following after him. Hanji noted with amusement that the one Eren had punched was cradling his face with one hand, and that his jaw was already beginning to turn all sorts of hideous colors. Without any sort of prompting, Moblit nodded towards her and followed after them, probably to make sure that they left the premises like they said they would, leaving her with Levi and Eren.

She looked down at them, and noticed that Levi seemed to have relaxed immediately at Nile's departure. He was no longer hovering over Eren, but instead had sunk down so that he was laying down beside him, pressing the entire length of his body against the boy's. He was warbling and chirruping and making all sorts of concerned little grunts, nudging Eren's face with his nose.

"I'm okay," she heard Eren whispering hoarsely to the mermaid, "I promise. Just a little cold. It's probably shock or something. I'll be okay in a minute, it's warm out."

Levi _'pripp'_ ed quietly, before he pressed himself more tightly against him, wrapping his arms around Eren. He also wrapped his tail as best he could against around him, propping himself up on one arm and settling Eren's face into the juncture between his neck and shoulder, trying to warm up his chilled face with his skin. He trilled questioningly, tilting his head, to which the boy replied, "Better now, yes, thank you."

Levi chuffed through his nose, and then set to sniffing him everywhere he could reach, checking for injuries that he might not have noticed yet. Eren nuzzled his nose into Levi's skin, and then mumbled, "I'm going to stink like fish so bad after this."

The mermaid raised an eyebrow and tapped him firmly in reprimand with one of his tail flukes, causing Eren to grunt from the impact. In fact, that tap triggered another coughing fit, and when he saw that, Levi immediately became concerned again, rubbing Eren's back through it and offering soothing coos and chuffs to him.

Hanji shook her head fondly. "I feel like I should ask how you are, Eren, but I think you're in pretty good hands right now, aren't you?" she noted.

As if to prove her point, Levi curled a little more tightly around Eren, and he fixed her with a fierce glare, hissing threateningly at her. She couldn't help the bubble of terrified laughter that escaped her when she saw that glare, saw how rigid the mermaid's stance was, and how much he resembled a mother wildcat protecting her kitten from a bear that wanted to eat it. That expression screamed, _You touch this boy and I promise I'll strangle you with your own windpipe._

"Ho boy," she laughed, "You're scary aren't you?" Hanji held up her hands. "Don't worry, I'm not going to touch him, I'm just worried about him is all."

Eren massaged his own chest with one hand, and placed a reassuring hand on Levi's chest as well. "It's alright. Easy, okay? She's not coming any closer."

Levi ceased his hissing after a moment, but still kept a wary eye on Hanji. Eren turned his head and tried to sit up as best he could towards her, saying, "I think I'll be okay. Just have to get the chills out. But otherwise no damage done- hey!"

The surprised cry was a result of Levi forcibly pushing Eren's head back down against his shoulder. Hanji could only snort in amusement as she watched Eren try to lift his head again, only for Levi to pull him back down once more, chiding him with a short, sharp bark.

"I'm feeling a bit better, really," Eren insisted, "I'm not that dizzy anymore."

Levi fixed him with a stern glare that very much reminded him of the looks his parents would give him when he tried to insist the same thing when he clearly wasn't feeling better, and knew it was useless to argue. Besides, it wasn't terribly uncomfortable here. He was laying more on Levi than on the actual rocks, and the mermaid's body heat was slowly working to stabilize his temperature. He was practically a furnace in fact, radiating warmth, and Eren wondered vaguely if it was to make up for the fact that he was often in cold water. He'd have to take his temperature sometime to see how much higher it was than a human's.

"Wait," he wondered suddenly, rolling his eyes over to look at Hanji again, "Who got me out of the water?"

Hanji just shook her head with a grin, nodding towards Levi. "Who do you think?"

Eren looked back up at him, his lips parted with awe. But Levi just looked away, his cheeks coloring faintly. He grunted dismissively, shrugging one shoulder, and Eren couldn't help but think back to something he had told the mermaid when Eren had saved him from the trap. What had it been? Something about how he had just done what any decent person would have done in that situation would have done? That appeared to be what Levi was telling him now, even without words.

Either way, it blew Eren away to think that in just three short days, Levi had gone from trying to kill him to saving his life. The boy huffed a laugh, snuggling in a little further against the mermaid's chest, feeling his stomach warm pleasantly when Levi settled his chin on his head, his throat vibrating comfortingly in a soft cooing sound. Glancing up at what he could see of the sky past the warm wall of Levi's body, Eren could see that it was clear and blue.

And the best part was, their summer together was just starting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter and its title were inspired by Blue Sky Day by Dwayne Ford. I wanted to give out a special shoutout to Iisusanii, who drew terrific fanart for this fic ages ago and dummy me forgot to link it lol. So here we go, merLevi: hey-heichou- suz. /post/168794805255/ hope-you-dont-mind-writerforthetylwythteg-but-i and merKuchel: hey- heichou-suz. tumblr post/168618555695/ done-a-little-fan-art-of-kuchel-from


	8. Iridescent

_Oh please not here,_ Eren was begging internally, _Please not now. Please not now…_

But whatever force the boy was begging to clearly wasn't listening, because it knew that sometimes, there are things that are simply outside of one's control. Eren couldn't control the fact that that text had been sent to him, and he couldn't control his reaction to it, though he desperately tried.

He didn't want to ruin tonight for his parents; it was supposed to be a special night, all about them. He had offered to take them out to dinner for their anniversary, even convinced his dad to take a rare evening off. They were having a good time, catching up, Eren finally filling him in on Levi and the progress he was making with him. His parents had noted how the boy had lit up brighter than the sun while talking about the mermaid, how he had looked more alive than they could remember, how his cheeks had turned pink and his eyes shone.

But it seemed lately in Eren's case, things could never stay too happy for long.

Eren's phone had chimed, and he had innocently picked it up, only for him to see…that. His eyes had gone wide, losing their pretty shine, and his face had gone from rosy to being as white as snow. His lips had drained of color, and he seemed to shrink in his seat.

"Eren?" his dad had asked, noticing the change, "What's the matter?"

The boy blinked, shaking himself out of the moment, and quickly put his phone back on the table after deleting the text message. "No, it's nothing, I'm fine," he had assured them. "So, we were talking about…?"

 _Levi,_ his mother signed, though her look of concern didn't falter.

He took a quick deep breath, and tried to continue speaking as if nothing had happened. But then his phone vibrated again, and again, four times in total, before he finally dared to look down at it.

This time when he did, his face blanched completely, and, to his parents' horror, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell sideways in his seat, collapsing onto the floor next to the table in a dead faint.

They gasped, getting to their feet immediately and crossing over the other side of the table, where Carla pulled his head onto her lap and began patting the sides of his face, trying to get him to wake up, while Grisha began checking his vitals, trying to ignore the audience they had by now attracted from the other people in the surrounding tables. To their relief though, after a few moments, Eren's eyes began to flutter open. However, his pupils were dilated, and both his lips, and, upon peeling his upper lip back briefly, his gums were still pale as well. He began to shiver and groan quietly, his surroundings blurry and the sounds around him sounding muted.

"Eren, can you hear us?" his father asked, hovering over him.

Eren whined in reply, squeezing his eyes shut. Nausea was crawling up his throat brought on by a pounding headache that was delicately squeezing his temples in a vise grip.

"I don't feel good," he mumbled. "I don- can we go home, maybe? I'll get up in a minute, but I really want to go home. I'm sorry."

Carla shook her head, denying his apology when it wasn't needed and leaned forward to kiss his forehead. Grisha added, "If you can get up, then yes, we can go home."

After a couple more minutes on the floor, his father shooing people away that were getting too curious and politely turning people down that kept asking if he wanted to have an ambulance called by reassuring them that he was a doctor, Eren eventually heaved himself to his feet, leaning heavily against his mother while his father stood near his other side just in case, holding his son's phone. They did end up making it home with Eren laying down in the back seat, panting through the urge to pass out again. He barely made it home before he was flinging the door open, leaning over the seat and throwing up onto the front lawn.

Once his parents helped him inside, they immediately placed him in bed, only leaving when he insisted he just wanted to sleep. However, sleep didn't come fast or peacefully for him, for all he could think of were those five text messages he had received at dinner.

The first one had been innocent enough, of course. Just a simple, _"Hey, how are things?"_

Eren rolled restlessly over in bed, tugging the blankets tightly around his shoulders. He realized within a couple minutes that he couldn't bear to keep the light off, so he shakily reached up and turned his lamp on, hearing the echo of long past conversations in his head.

" _So…how are things?"_

" _Do you always start off dates this way?"_

" _I well- no, I'm just"-_

" _Nervous? Don't worry, I'm just busting your nuts, I'm nervous too. Hard not to be when you're on a date with someone so cute, you know?"_

Eren began whining softly, trying desperately to forget, but the words would stop flooding his mind. The second text had read, _"You're there, aren't you?"_

_His phone ringing in his pocket. Eren picking it up after it finished and immediately started ringing again. "Hey babe, sorry, I wasn't ignoring you, Mikasa was just telling me goodbye."_

" _Oh? Where did you guys go?"_

" _Just to the park, though she was telling me next time we should head to the beach, it's been forever since we were both there, you know?"_

" _Eren?"_

" _Um, yeah?"_

" _You were there, weren't you?"_

" _I was- I was where?"_

" _You had your phone in your pocket, like usual, didn't you?"_

" _I did."_

" _So then why didn't you pick up?"_

" _I was just- I didn't hear it."_

Eren shivered, feeling the nausea spike once more. He swallowed heavily, trying to force down the excess saliva that had collected in his mouth. He had to stop these trains of thought, he knew. He had to go to a happier place in his mind. But, as hard as he tried to think about the wonderful day he knew he was going to have at the aquarium tomorrow, he couldn't seem to break away from the flashbacks. They had found that little crack in the dam he had built in an effort to hold them back, and they were leaking through without mercy.

He pulled the blankets up over his head, feeling to hot and too cold all at once as he thought about the third and fourth texts. _"I really miss you,"_ and, _"Can we try again?"_

" _I really miss you, Eren."_

_Him, giggling into the receiver as he rolled onto his back on his back. "You just saw me. And you'll see me again tomorrow."_

" _But I'm already going through withdrawals! Eren withdrawals!"_

" _You dork."_

Eren whimpered, trying to keep quiet, not wanting to alert his parents of his distress, but it was becoming difficult. He gripped his pendant, biting his lip in the darkness of his blankets. His chest felt terribly tight, and his head was pounding once more.

" _I'm so sorry, I messed up, I know"-_

" _You hit me! I'd say that's a bit more than just 'messing up.'"_

" _No, but- Eren, I promise I'll never do it again. I wasn't thinking, it was like I blacked out. I'll get help, I'll do anything."_

" _Reiner, please don't."_

" _Please…can't we try again?"_

Especially when he saw the last text that had been sent to him: a photo of Reiner and his friends, with the caption, _"We all miss you."_

Eren placed his hand over his mouth, tears sliding down his cheeks as he curled up into a tight, tiny ball, feeling the urge to faint all over again creeping up the base of his skull and caressing his temples like a mist. He clutched his pendant harder, willing it to bring him some kind of comfort, but of course at this point, nothing could.

Because all he saw were those faces in that photo leering at him as he stood naked in Reiner's living room, hovering over him on Reiner's bed, one of them pinning him down by his shoulders and forcing him to suck them off, Reiner pounding into him without a care for Eren's tears, while the last friend jerked off to the sight of them. When they finished, they often forced him to lick up their release, and when they came in his mouth, Reiner didn't mind if they smacked him if some of it escaped out the sides of his lips. They often left Eren feeling desolated and humiliated, to put it mildly.

" _You've got a nice mouth- hng, shit, that's it. N-No wonder you chose him, Reiner."_

" _That and he's got a tight asshole."_

" _He makes the most perfect noises when you hurt him just right too, doesn't he?"_

" _And I know it sounds messed up, but he looks so damn pretty when he cries, oh my God. He looks so perfect."_

His tears rolled fast and relentlessly down his face, the hand covering his mouth cutting the path they were making downward so that they rolled right over his knuckles instead. His shoulders shook and shook with his repressed cries, his face burning with remembered embarrassment so severe that it made him feel as if he had a fever. Why couldn't the warmth and familiar smell and sight of his home succeed in making him feel safe again? He had been so certain that if he just left Reiner, everything would return to as it had before. He knew he was safe here, that no one would hurt him. His ex wouldn't dare to show up on his doorstep while he was here. So why was this happening? Why was he still such a mess?

To his dismay, Eren found that he didn't have any answers. All he knew for certain was that these awful feelings of fear and panic didn't seem like they were going to go away any time soon; they were just as much a part of him as his skin or bones. Except, it was possible to remove a bone, but this…no, it wasn't going anywhere.

And the worst part, he realized, was that he didn't have anyone to blame for this mess but himself.

000

Eren had achieved precisely twenty minutes of sleep last night, thanks to those text messages, which meant that when he walked into the aquarium the next morning, he resembled a living ghost more than a human being. Hell, he felt like a ghost had more life in them than he did at the moment. After cleaning the lab all morning, he was beyond exhausted and wanted nothing more than to collapse and take a nap, even if it had to be on the concrete floor.

However, he promised Levi that he'd be back to visit, and no matter how tired he was, that was a promise he was going to keep. The mermaid deserved at least that.

Since he had already been fed, Eren went up without stopping in the food room first, climbing the stairs slowly and hanging onto the railing for dear life. His exhaustion was making him the slightest bit dizzy, but he breathed through it, hoping the extra oxygen would clear his head. Now that he thought about it, going into an area that held water that was dozens of feet deep was probably not very wise considering how tired he was.

Nonetheless, he made it up, and walked out onto the sunning rocks platform that extended into the middle of the tank, before kneeling at the tip of it and extending his hand into the water. He flicked his wrist in the water, creating the same splashing sound as he had done to entice Levi up to the surface the first time, calling his name.

It took several minutes for Levi to respond, long enough that Eren thought he wasn't going to come up at all. But eventually, he saw the dark shape of him rising from the bottom, no longer carrying the same sense of foreboding as it once did, not since Levi had proved that he meant him no harm. He pulled his hand out of the water and sat back on his heels when his head broke the surface, and he blew that loud, sneeze-like exhalation out through his nose. Eren watched in fascination as his thin nostrils flared and then closed tight for an instant, forming an air-tight seal, before they relaxed again, and Levi appeared to be breathing through them. Interesting, his tired brain noted, so unlike all other ocean mammals he could breathe in a steady, in and out pattern like a land animal. Eren wondered if it was possible for him to breathe through his mouth as well? He knew whales and dolphins couldn't do that.

Upon seeing that it was him, Levi let out a short little croon of greeting, his hands waving around his body easily as he treaded water, tail also undulating lazily.

"Hi yourself," Eren replied, smiling. However, his smile dropped a moment later when he realized that the shadows under Levi's eyes were darker than normal, and that the mermaid's eyes were also half-lidded. His shoulders were drooping heavily, and he didn't look as bright eyed as he normally did.

"What's the matter?" he found himself asking.

Levi raised an eyebrow, shook his head and let his lips part, as if he were going to say something, but of course he couldn't, not in words Eren would understand. But still, Eren took it to mean that he had no idea what he was talking about. Or maybe he did, but was trying to play it off like he didn't. So Eren decided to prod. He reached forward and placed the back of his hand on Levi's forehead, causing the mermaid to jump slightly and squeak in surprise.

"Are you sick?" Eren asked.

Levi shook his head and warbled out a negative, but then a huge yawn from him betrayed the problem. After noting that Levi oddly enough had teeth just like a human's, since all ocean mammals usually had homodont teeth, Eren decided he would have to write all of these observations down later. But for now, he figured that could wait, and finally guessed, "Ah, didn't get much sleep last night?"

Levi offhandedly shrugged one shoulder, avoiding Eren's gaze in favor of staring at the water. The boy tilted his head, wondering why he wouldn't look at him, and then admitted, "It's alright if you didn't. I didn't either last night."

The mermaid warbled again, but it didn't sound how it usually did; it sounded quieter, off, like a tired old record player. Eren took that as confirmation, and said, "Mind if I ask why? Couldn't get comfortable last night?"

Levi shrugged. Eren guessed again, "Bad dream?"

He hesitated, and then nodded. The boy had to hold back from clucking sympathetically, and instead told him, "Same here. Ah, we're a mess aren't we? You had your awful time at the water park and I- well, I have stuff too."

Levi looked up and met his eye, blinking at him curiously. But Eren was biting his lip, and clearly wasn't going to elaborate. It didn't stop Levi from wondering who or what had hurt his friend badly enough to interrupt his sleep though, but if it was anything like what had hurt Levi…he suppressed a shudder, feeling sick thinking about it. Eren had been nothing but kind and sweet to him. What monster could possibly be responsible for preying on that kindness?

"Anyway," Eren said in a rush, "We um, since we're both tired, we don't have to do much today, if you don't want. I can even leave and let you nap, if that's what you'd like."

Levi quickly shook his head, gazing at Eren meaningfully, his eyes wide and sincere. No, Levi couldn't speak, or use too much sign language yet, but Eren was still struck by just how expressive his face was, how easy his body language was to read. It appeared that, even in an environment where visibility was low most of the time and one had to rely on sound, the mermaids still found body language and the ability to read facial expressions to be just as useful as humans did. It just drove home the theory that they were a social species. Levi placed a hand on the edge of the rocks, and then placed another one on Eren's knee, making a noise that sounded like a half grunt, half whine in his throat. And Eren understood plain as day; Levi wanted him to stay, for perhaps the same reason Eren sometimes craved having someone with him during his darkest moments. It was easier to deal with the things that were scaring you when someone was with you.

"Alright, alright," Eren said gently, patting Levi's hand that was resting on his knee. Levi's expression shifted again, softening into one of relief, and the boy knew that he had made the right decision.

"Okay then, what would you like to do while I'm here then?" Eren wondered, getting more comfortable. He leaned back and sat completely on the rocks, leisurely taking off his shoes and socks and placing them behind him, while he stuck his feet in the water beside Levi.

The mermaid lowered his eyes again to stare at the water for a moment in thought. He didn't look up at Eren again for several moments, trying to make a decision and hoping he wouldn't be rejected for this. Eventually, with a tired sigh, he figured he didn't have anything to lose, and to Eren's surprise, he placed his hands on the rocks and hauled himself out of the water to sit beside him.

"Well hello," Eren said, his smile huge, and Levi made a sound that almost sounded like he was saying "hello" back. Like this, the boy also observed that Levi was indeed smaller than he was, the top of his head reaching just a bit above Eren's chin.

It might have been his severe exhaustion that loosened his lips, but for some reason, Eren decided to voice this observation out loud. "Huh. Guess you didn't grow too much from when were kids, did you."

Levi's eye twitched, and before Eren could do anything to protect himself, he splashed him with his tail, which was still dangling in the water. After a moment where he absorbed what happened to him, Eren pried his eyes open, spitting water out of his mouth.

"That's fair," he admitted.

He resigned himself to the fact that he was completely soaked, and peeled off his shirt off, laying it flat next to his shoes. His pants, eh, if he didn't mind being too wet than he we certainly in the wrong profession. Besides, he didn't need someone like Hanji coming up here and finding him with no pants on. Going shirtless would be awkward enough, but he figured when his shirt dried he could always slip it back on. When he turned back to Levi, he noticed that the mermaid again averted his eyes quickly from him, but more alarmingly, his face was flushed an impressive shade of red.

"Hey, you alright?" Eren asked with concern. He reached up and felt Levi's forehead once more, then laid his palm on his cheek, causing the mermaid to squeak and freeze up as he did so. "Your face is warm. You sure you're not getting sick on me?"

Levi could do nothing but squeak again, but he didn't move. And if anything, Eren could swear when he pulled away, for the briefest of moments he tried to follow his hand. But no, he must have been imagining that.

"Alright then," Eren shrugged. Then, he teased him with, "Well, now you have me here, shirtless. What are you going to do with me?"

Levi groaned, narrowing his eyes and Eren could swear he saw his blush get darker. He clicked his teeth together, biting the air, venting his annoyance, before glancing down at Eren's lap. This time it was the boy's turn to blush, even more so when Levi scooted closer and cautiously began to paw at Eren's thighs.

"Um…" Eren said uncertainly, going stiff, "What-w…what are you doing?"

He ignored him, still poking at his thighs. Eventually though, Eren found what he was on about, when Levi finally lowered himself down and laid his head in the boy's lap with a grunt. Eren blinked in surprise, watching as Levi shifted around a bit, before he settled with a sigh, and closed his eyes, the blush gradually fading from his face.

Stunned, Eren didn't move for several minutes, afraid he would disrupt whatever was happening. So, apparently Levi wanted to take a nap for the afternoon, but he never thought he'd want to nap like this. He already trusted Eren that much? He supposed he understood, since Eren had basically risked his life to save him, but still. He was letting himself be in his most vulnerable state around the boy, his shoulders gradually relaxing and the tension going out of his back, his breaths going softer and more even by the minute. Eren found himself relaxing by increments as well, once he realized that Levi wasn't going to move, and instead let himself appreciate the wonder of the moment.

He imagined that this was the closest Levi had ever let himself get to a human in a very long time. The fact that they had been friends when they were little certainly must have helped, but still. Even Levi had to realize that people changed a lot from when they were kids to when they became adults. When Eren first met him at the aquarium, it was obvious that he thought Eren was probably like all the other humans now, that he would hurt him if given the chance, but luckily he seemed to have changed his mind pretty quickly. The fact that he was probably one of the luckiest people on the planet for this didn't escape him either. How many other people could say that they had gained a mermaid's trust to the point that one of the creatures would rest their head in their laps to nap?

Eren felt an inexplicable swell of warmth rise up in his gut. Who would have thought he would go from the terror of last night to something as wonderful as this afternoon? If someone had told him a year ago that he would go from being beaten by his boyfriend every day, raped by his friends and locked in closest for twelve hours a day, to relaxing with a mermaid, he would have called them crazy. Hopeful, but crazy. His dreams had seemed so far away back then. And now…

The boy let the peace of the moment wash over him, and he sighed. It was easy to let his mind wander back to those old legends about mermaids written by sailors and explorers, to ignore how scarred he was mentally and how scarred Levi was physically and to think about all the artworks he had seen of mermaids. How beautiful, fair, and delicate they looked in them. Levi was all of those things, even despite the scars that marred his flesh, yet every time he shifted, Eren saw the muscles sliding under his skin, remembered the power Levi had used to wrestle him on his back at the bottom of the tank, and knew it was there to hide the deadly creature underneath. A mermaid's purpose was to woo unsuspecting men into her clutches, to put them under her spell, but for what reason, no one knew. Still, Eren wasn't afraid. He felt like he could be one of those men in those paintings, a prince of old in a seaside kingdom that had found Levi washed ashore on a beach. If he closed his eyes, he could hear the gulls and smell the salt air, and the lapping of the water in the tank turned into water lapping at the sand. He wondered if Levi knew how to sing in the same bewitching manner that his kin did, and if Eren asked, maybe he would sing for him? The thought was thrilling. What did a mermaid's song really sound like, he wondered? Did it live up to the old stories of being as haunting and beautiful as sailors described it as?

As Levi began to doze, Eren noticed something else. When he moved his head back slightly, the light shifted over Levi's hair, changing the color ever so slightly. The black would turn into subtle shades of blue, even violet in some parts. It was almost iridescent, like a fish's scales.

"Levi?" Eren prompted, receiving a faint hum in response. "Are you aware that your hair changes colors when the light shifts?"

An affirmative grunt, and Levi nuzzled into Eren's lap a little further with a sigh. The urge to touch that pretty hair suddenly overwhelmed the boy, but what would Levi do in response? Eren decided to take a chance, and he waited for a bit more until the mermaid fell deeper into his doze, before he hesitantly laid his fingertips against Levi's hair.

To his utter surprise, he didn't react beyond a questioning _"mrrr?"_ The same sound cats tended to make when they were disturbed from their sleep. His eyes opened into slits, but Eren bravely kept his hand where it was, even starting to stroke Levi's hair when he saw that his hand wasn't going to be immediately bitten off. And, to his utter relief, when Levi caught on to what he was doing, he closed his eyes again.

Eren kept petting his hair, slowly and rhythmically, amazed by the texture. It didn't feel like human hair, not entirely. Instead, it felt more like seal fur. It was quite oily, which made sense. Oil was great for repelling water, hence why Levi's hair was already drying. Less water soaking into his hair meant less drag, which meant he was much faster under water. However, what did surprise Eren was the sound that began to emanate from Levi as he ran his fingers over his scalp.

A low, rumbling sound began in the mermaid's chest before travelling up into his nose, and though it was a bit distorted compared to what Eren was used to hearing, there was no mistaking it. Levi was _purring_ , purring deep and loud, sounding more like a mountain lion than a house cat. The sound was vibrating straight into Eren's bones, and his mouth was open in an o shape in his surprise. It was the strangest, most precious thing he had ever experienced thus far with Levi, and he found himself enjoying it thoroughly.

It had to be a half hour later when Hanji finally came up to check on them. Eren didn't even notice that she was there until she was almost standing next to him, so lost was he in his own little world. He looked up at her when he registered her presence, seeing that her face was lit up in a combination of delight and disbelief.

"Well I'll be," she said, slowing down and eventually stopping just a little bit behind him, "Look at you two."

Eren smiled, almost shyly, and looked back down at Levi, halting the motion of his hand and pulling it away from his head. "Yeah. He crawled into my lap a while ago, said he was tired. And now we're here."

Hanji paused, listening, before she asked, "Is that noise coming from him?"

"Yeah, can you believe that? I never thought I'd find out that mermaids purr, of all things."

Said purring suddenly stopped, and Levi opened his eyes slightly. Blinking sleepily, he reached down until he located Eren's hand, and then pulled said hand back up until he placed it back on his head, only relaxing when he felt that hand begin to move through his hair again.

"And his hair doesn't feel like human hair, not entirely," Eren told her, "It feels more like a seal's, or a Lab's. It's so cool. He's just so cool, Hanji."

The scientist laughed quietly. "He is, isn't he? And he's come so far already. He's almost a completely different creature from when he first came here. If someone had told me a month ago that Levi would go from our most dangerous resident to laying his head in someone's lap and purring like a housecat I would have had them sent to a mental institution."

Eren paused in his petting again, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. "I don't feel like I've done anything though," he admitted. "Not anything different than you guys have. I've just been nice to him, fed him, talked to him. Nothing grand or special."

Hanji shook her head, watching as Levi reached up and tapped on Eren's hand again in order to get him to pet him again. "Don't be silly. Levi never needed any grand or special gestures to make him happy. On the contrary, what he needed were very simple things. So simple that we didn't even think of them. You were right, all he needed was someone to bond with. Someone he could trust. Very basic human things. Sure, Moblit and I kept his body alive, but you did something way more remarkable. You brought his mind and spirit back to life. And this is only the beginning, right? You still have all summer to keep working your magic."

Eren froze, and began wringing his hands nervously, before finally saying, "I meant to ask you, do you think it would be alright for me to focus my research more on Levi instead of the dolphins? I mean, I'd still like to work with the dolphins a bit, but I mean, you know I've always wanted to work with mermaids, so"-

Before he could ramble anymore, he was cut off by a sharp bark that echoed around them, causing the both of them to jump. Levi was staring at him with narrowed, annoyed eyes with an expression that clearly read, _I'm not going to tell you again, keep petting me or next time I'll bite you._

Eren laughed nervously, but did as Levi wished, running his fingers through his soft hair. "You're already turning into such a spoiled baby, do you know that?" he told him.

Levi smacked him in the knee with his tail, hard enough to make a slapping noise, causing Hanji to laugh. However, in no time, Levi was purring again, and contentedly snuggled up in what the scientist was sure was becoming his new favorite place to nap in the tank.

"Yes, she answered, "I don't see why you couldn't focus your research more on Levi. Let me and Moblit know what tests you want to run on him, and we'll see what we can do to back you up, okay?"

"Sure," Eren agreed excitedly, and then looked down towards Levi. "Did you hear that? You're going to be my partner this summer for my project. What do you think about that?"

But Levi was already almost asleep again, so his reply was a sleepy, soft croon that sounded so precious and sweet that it had Eren wanted to make all sorts of stupid happy noises in reply. He held back, but just barely, and took it as an affirmative.

This was his chance to prove to himself that Reiner had been wrong about him, and he couldn't think of anyone better or more capable of doing that than Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so everyone knows, school is staring again for me this week, so chapters are going to come a bit slower. But don't worry, I will never abandon this fic, it will get finished! So I'll see you in the next update!


	9. Weak Fantasy

"Alright, want to run through them one more time?" Eren asked Levi from his place on the sunning rocks. His feet were dangling in the water, shoes sitting forgotten at the base of the ladder.

Levi, who was leaning against the rocks beside him on his elbows, straightened up and nodded eagerly.

"Okay then, 'q?'

Levi lifted his hand and curled his fingers into a fist, except for his pointer finger and thumb, which he pressed together and pointed downwards.

"Good," Eren nodded approvingly, "Alright, 'p?"

Levi uncurled his middle finger, paused in thought, and then pointed his forefinger and thumb forward, still keeping them pressed together.

"Good, 'b?' And then 'j?"

He flashed him a b easily, holding his hand up like he was going to give Eren a high five, and then slipped into a j, letting his pinky swoop down into the j shape.

"Good job," Eren praised with a smile, "Now for names. You remember my name?"

Levi happily made the e sign over his collarbone, beaming up at him.

"And your name?" Eren prompted.

The mermaid, feeling confident, both spelled out his name with each individual letter, and presented the sign name they had come up with for him, which was the word for "mermaid," with a twist. The sign name for mermaid involved holding his hand, appropriately enough, down by his waist, palm up, while the other hand pointed down underneath it and waved slightly, like a mermaid's tail. However, instead of holding his top hand with his palm open, he curled his fingers until his thumb and forefinger were making an "L" shape.

"Nice," Eren nodded, "And Hanji?"

Levi made the sign for "glasses" by his eyes.

"Okay, and Moblit?"

The mermaid made the sign for "alcohol." Despite appearances, Eren learned not too long ago that Moblit was in fact quite the heavy drinker. Though he claimed when you worked as Hanji's assistant, you had to find some kind of coping mechanism.

"And Nile?"

Levi raised his middle finger, and Eren snorted.

"Good job," he laughed, leaning forward and ruffling Levi's hair, acting on the impulse before he could second guess himself. Luckily, he seemed to like the gesture, leaning up into his hand. However, when Eren realized what he was doing, despite the grin on the mermaid's face, he pulled his hand back, clearing his throat with embarrassment.

"I'm um, I'm proud of you," he said awkwardly, "I don't know how you managed to learn the alphabet and a list of names in a day when it took me a month, but, I'm glad you did. We'll be on our way to having full conversations in no time, right?"

Levi's head bobbed eagerly, and he began trilling like a little songbird. Eren smiled widely, and added, "And then I might have to bring my parents and friends by sometime, what do you think? I tell them about you all the time, I'm sure they'd love to meet you. Well, in my parent's case, re-meet you."

The trilling continued as he voiced his approval, remembering how kind Eren's parents had been to him in the past and liking the idea of meeting them again. And that thought surprised Levi just a bit. He couldn't believe that the thought of meeting more humans made him excited now when not too long ago, just the very idea of humans repulsed him.

It was obvious though, that he preferred liking them over not doing so. Especially a human like Eren.

Oh and what a human he was. The way he was smiling now, and the way the sun was shining down on him, lighting up his eyes prettily shouldn't have been allowed. He was still so ecstatic, the color still high in his face from the joy of teaching the mermaid how to communicate with people, of seeing Levi absorb the information and repeat it back in a way that showed he understood. Though he didn't know it, just being allowed to interact with Levi made Eren so inexplicably elated. And unknown to Eren, the boy coming to visit him every day made his heart feel warmer and his stomach tingle pleasantly, and overall seemed to make his insides feel all gooey. What that meant, Levi had no idea, but he did know that it made him want to be close to Eren, and to keep learning sign language as fast as he could to make him keep smiling.

The trilling died off into a few low grunts, Levi's eyes still bright, and before he could stop himself, he pulled himself up onto the rocks beside Eren and let himself fall into the boy's lap again. Eren huffed at the impact, and then snorted in amusement as Levi stretched across his legs, arms over his head, like a giant lazy cat. Ever since the day he had napped in Eren's lap, he figured out rather quickly that the boy didn't seem to mind if he took more naps there. As Levi settled onto his back, Eren chuckled lowly, automatically settling his hand into the mermaid's hair and beginning to stroke it. And of course, in no time at all, Levi set to purring, loudly, the purr going up in pitch at the end to indicate just how happy he was.

"So spoiled," Eren said as he shook his head. "What are we going to do with you?"

Levi answered him by nuzzling his face into Eren's hand and giving an extra loud purr, before he angled his body so that he could wrap his arms around the boy's waist, holding him close. He placed his cheek against Eren's ribs, eyes shining up at him innocently, still purring with the same hearty enthusiasm as an outboard motor.

"You are so mushy today," the boy pointed out, amused.

Levi raised an eyebrow, not understanding his choice of words, but Eren assured him, "Don't worry, I don't mind. You're cuter this way, being all affectionate, instead of, well the alternative."

A look of guilt suddenly flashed across the mermaid's face, and he let out a low, soft, long croon. He squeezed Eren a little tighter, and the boy just shook his head, patting Levi's cheek.

"No, don't apologize, I understand," he said, "I know how scared you were. How could you not be after what they did to you?"

Levi shrugged, but still nuzzled closer to Eren, groaning in a way that clearly stated that while Eren may not blame him, he still very much blamed himself. The boy just kept running his fingers through his hair, unsure of what to say for a moment. He finally sighed, looking out across the water in the tank as he began to speak quietly.

"So much has changed since then. Since we were kids. I wish…I find myself wishing we could go back to then a lot, you know? Before-"

He pressed his lips together, cutting himself off. Levi raised an eyebrow, not liking how tight and uncomfortable Eren's expression had become. He knew exactly what he was talking about, and how just the memories of being that park made him want to start shaking sometimes, but Levi had no idea what had happened to Eren to make him say something like that. He had said things like this before, and they always made Levi uneasy.

Levi made a little whining grunt in the back of his throat. Eren just bit his lip, hard, enough that his lip began to turn white and the mermaid was afraid he might draw blood. He barked softly, trying to get Eren's attention so that he'd stop, but he was ignored.

Determinedly, he sat up, and to Eren's surprise, pulled him into an embrace, quieting his purr until the boy only felt the vibrations in both of their chests as Levi pulled him close. He was surprised enough that his lips parted and he raised his hands, letting them hover in the air by Levi's sides. When he registered what had happened, it was like a fog had been lifted that he hadn't even known had settled over him, and he was back in the sun again. In more ways than one, he realized, as he felt Levi's overly warm body pressed against his. He sighed heavily, his shoulders rising and falling from the effort, and wrapped his arms around Levi's waist. Levi made a low sound deep in his chest, so low that Eren didn't actually hear it; he felt it vibrate throughout his body.

"I know," he said, though he didn't know why at first. Then, he figured, he was saying it for the both of them. Just like that embrace was for the both of them, for their past, frightened selves. No one had been there to comfort them in their hour of need. But, they figured, better late than never.

"You're too kind to me," Eren murmured, feeling Levi set his chin on his shoulder, "Really, you are. I don't deserve it."

Levi let out a displeased growl, and just squeezed Eren tighter. The boy let himself be hugged, feeling the warmth Levi was trying to impart on him, but not feeling it reach his heart. The mermaid was showing him in every sense of the word that he wasn't alone, that everything was okay now. But Eren just couldn't bring himself to fully believe that.

He squeezed his eyes shut, an uncomfortable prickling in his stomach rising up his throat, a hot ball of pain that had been festering for years on the tip of his tongue, demanding to escape. He bit his lip again, seeing those damning texts again flash in front of his eyes, along with a hundred other memories that currently made up that wretched, prickling ball.

He never had told his parents or friends the full extent of it all.

"Levi," he finally mumbled. He backed out of the embrace to look the mermaid in the eye, although he found he had trouble doing so. Suddenly his lap was far more interesting to look at instead, and he could feel his face flush with shame. "Listen…can I tell you what happened to me? Shit, I have to tell someone, I'm sorry. And as messed up as it sounds, I feel better telling you because you can't really tell my parents or friends and- I just don't want them to know everything. But someone has to know, or else I'll"-

He buried his forehead briefly in his palm, steeling himself. And though he didn't exactly see Levi's reaction, he heard it, heard that soft, sweet croon followed up by a brief purr. Felt Levi tentatively press their foreheads together in that gesture Eren remembered from their childhood, and he wanted to cry.

"Okay," he breathed between them. "Okay. I can do this. I still don't deserve you, but I can do this."

Levi growled again, but it made Eren smile like a loon. It was okay to do this. He was safe here. Cared about. Protected.

It was going to be okay.

"Well, settle in, because this is going to be a long one," he warned.

Immediately, of course, Levi backed away and laid back down in his lap, looking up at Eren expectantly. Automatically, the boy's hand tangled itself gently in the mermaid's hair, which was shining a deep blue in the sun. It grounded him, and would keep him rooted where he was.

"So, by the time I got into high school I was fairly certain that I wasn't attracted to girls," Eren began, "and when I met Reiner I was a hundred percent certain that I wasn't. Oh my God, Levi, back then, he was just- he was on the football team, and I don't even like football or know how it works, but I could have watched him for hours. I used to watch the teams practice just so I could watch him. My friends and I went and sat on the bleachers and studied, but they knew who I was there for. The team members must have noticed us because some of them eventually started coming over, chatting us up, talking about teachers and classes. One of them happened to be Reiner. And he just- heh, the first thing out of his mouth was that I should be arrested because looking as cute as I did had to be illegal. And it was so stupid that I couldn't help but find it endearing, I don't know. I already liked him, so after hearing that I was done for."

A soft, nostalgic expression fell over his face. "He asked me out a week later, I think. We went to dinner and took a walk at the park by my house. We were balls deep in fall by then so it really cold, and Reiner offered me his jacket, held my hands to keep them warm, held me close…it was so nice. We had lots of dates like that, just nice, calm dates, and he was always so charming, telling me how pretty I was, how he'd never met anyone like me before, how he couldn't believe I was real. That he thought we must have been made for each other with how much we had in common. I mean, he was planning on studying biology in college too, except he wanted to teach it. And we both loved running and windsurfing and boating and karaoke…we liked the same metal bands, we were both suckers for cheese and our favorite movie to watch when we felt terrible was Homeward Bound- Jesus, he was perfect. He was so perfect, Levi. He bought me things for no reason other than to see me smile and always held me when I cried. I'd never been happier then I was then. Hell, I was even thinking of marrying him one day."

Then Eren's face fell, just slightly, but even the smallest frown was enough to make Levi cuddle him a little tighter, to remind him that he was there.

Eren shook his head. "I feel so stupid now for falling for it, you know? It was just a performance. I did some research, and I found out that it's very common for abusers to be really charming at first. It's how they lure you in, you know? When we got to college is when things started to change. But it wasn't too drastic. I noticed him getting possessive. Constantly called me while I was on campus, didn't even bother to say hello when I picked up, just went straight to 'where are you?' If he couldn't reach me he'd call my friends wondering where I was. One time I went down to do laundry and when I came back up to my room I saw that he'd called me five times in the three minutes I was down there.

"I'd made a few friends on campus, but before we graduated, they all ditched me, said they couldn't stand Reiner, and I don't blame them. He insulted and made fun of all of them. And I know he made them really uncomfortable. He had no problems kissing me in front of them in very inappropriate ways, and when I told him to cut it out he ignored me, or laughed. He talked about our sex life in front of them in graphic detail, and a few times he even pulled down my pants in front of them, because 'everyone should see how cute your ass is, babe.' They even called the RD and told her that Reiner was abusing me. But of course I denied it. He wasn't hitting me, after all. But as time went on, he just monopolized me so much that basically we became each other's only friends on campus. But I told myself that I loved him, and that I was going to have a future with him, so those other people didn't matter. That he was a good guy and they didn't know him like I did. That things were going to change when we started working and couldn't see each other as much, we'd get some space from each other and we'd cherish our time together more. That he'd cherish _me_ more. Things would get better.

"But God, things got so much worse…"

Eren bit his lip again, and his hand clenched briefly in Levi's hair. The boy's discomfort bled into the mermaid, and he could feel his own heart racing in response. Levi began to purr again, hard, letting the vibrations soothe them both. Eren stopped petting Levi's hair and instead groped for his hand. Levi took it, squeezing it, their fingers slotting together easily even over the top of the webbing between Levi's fingers.

"Reiner finished his master's really quick. Like, within a year, and he got a job even faster. He got his own place, and asked me to move in with him. I told him I'd love to, but that I couldn't really afford rent since I was paying for my master's, but he said that was alright, me being his boyfriend and paying him with sex would be enough. I thought he was joking when he said that but- but he was serious. I should have seen the signs. I should have said no, because, my God, he was moving me halfway across the country, into an area where we weren't anywhere close to the ocean, not even close to a lake. He moved me to an area where it was just us, all alone, and he separated me from the water. I thought I could handle it, but it hurt. I felt like he had cut off my arm or something. I know it sounds stupid but…

"Anyway, not long after that, he told me I didn't have to worry about working, that all I had to focus on was school, and that sounded pretty good. But it was just a set up. Because now I didn't have any money coming in and I had to rely on him for money, for a car, for everything. Once he had that control, that's when he started hitting me when I made him mad. I couldn't believe it the first time it happened. But, I assumed I must have done something really wrong to deserve it, and that I had to try harder to better next time. It never occurred to me that it wasn't my fault. I just set to be the most perfect boyfriend that I could be. I was really careful not to burn toast anymore, or talk back. I was careful with what I ate and ran constantly so that he wouldn't have to come home to a 'fat whale.' I kept everything around the house clean and in order, I made myself available for sex whenever Reiner wanted it, even when I didn't want it. I dressed how he wanted me to dress, and went from being loud and laughing all the time to forgetting what it felt like to laugh and just speaking when I was spoken to. I fought at first but, I don't know. It was just easier to do what I was told rather than risk being hit or yelled at or him forcing himself on me.

"Eventually I wasn't allowed to leave the house. Or if I did, I wasn't allowed to go without him. Even just to go get groceries, he went with me. He started to get more creative with how he punished me too, but his favorite thing to do was to tie my wrists and ankles together and lock me in his closet all day. I wouldn't have much room to move and my body would ache so bad. In the winter it'd be so cold, and the summer it'd be so hot in there. I'd get hungry and thirsty really fast, and if I had to go to the bathroom, I'd have to hold it all day. Well, most of the time I couldn't, and I'd end up going on myself. Oh, but if I did that, I'd be smacked for that too.

"Then, one time, Reiner had a group of his friends over, and demanded I come out to see them too. Only, he wanted me naked when I did. I didn't want to, of course, but I didn't really have a choice. He showed me off to them, and I was just standing there trying not to cry. He hated it when I cried. And they were all staring at me like I was a piece of meat and they were starving dogs. They told him how lucky he was to have me as a boyfriend, and Reiner said like, out of nowhere, they could see what they were missing out on if they wanted. And that's when I found out what he meant by paying to live there with sex.

"After that, he started renting me out, not just to his friends, but to other people. And I found out later that he cut little holes into the walls so that he could watch us. For someone so possessive, I never knew he got off to that sort of thing. Sometimes he'd join in though. And…And I couldn't ever fight back. I didn't ever want to, because I didn't want to be hurt, but even if I'd wanted to, he liked tying my hands to the bed, or putting some kind of leg spreader on me so I couldn't close my legs. He'd let them, um, sodomize me with different things too. Someone used a broom handle once. Another used a rolling pin. And no matter how much I screamed, or cried, they never stopped. They would ignore me, or laugh. My pain was hilarious to them, or arousing. Either way"-

Eren was cut off by the sound of Levi barking softly. He stared down at him, wondering what was wrong, but got his answer a moment later when the mermaid reached up to wipe at his cheek with his thumb, seeing wetness glisten on his hand when it pulled away. He hadn't even realized that he had started crying, but he supposed it didn't surprise him. However, as upset as he was, he found now that the dam had been broken, he couldn't stop talking. Or if he did, something bad might happen. It was a silly thought, but nonetheless, it prompted him to continue. And looking down into Levi's eyes, just knowing he had someone who cared in his lap, gave him the strength to not break down completely.

At least not yet.

"I lived like that for years," Eren said, keeping a firm grip on Levi's hand. "My parents didn't know anything. Whenever I talked to them, I always pretended like everything was fine, mostly because Reiner monitored all my calls. He wanted to make sure I wasn't saying anything I shouldn't be. I wanted to tell them so badly what was going on. I wanted so badly to just run out, catch a plane, and go back home, but I was too afraid of leaving. What if Reiner found me and followed me? He'd threatened to hurt me and my family if I left before. I thought there was going to be no way out. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when I started hurting myself. Which is odd, you'd think after how much I was being hurt, I'd want to avoid pain but…this was pain I could control, you know? And unlike the other pain, it felt good, as messed up as that sounds. I didn't have any other way to relieve the stress, so, that's how I did it."

Levi tilted his head questioningly, which prompted Eren to reach over him. Levi followed his hands, watching curiously. However, his curiosity turned abruptly to horror when Eren pulled back his shorts over his thighs. It was only a bit, as he couldn't move them much due to Levi being on his lap, but it was enough to see the scars littering his skin. Some were bigger than others, some fainter than others, but the mere sight of them was enough to set Levi's heart to pounding right up into his throat. His ears rang for a moment, and he swore he forgot to breathe for a couple beats. He only relaxed a bit when Eren pulled his shorts back down.

"They go all the way up my thighs," Eren admitted. "I figured it was the only place I could do it where no one would see. I mean, my parents know they're there, my friend Mikasa too, but no one else. Well, now you know too. I hate that I did it, I regretted it after every single time, but I didn't know what else to do, you know? Heh, I actually really used to like my thighs, Levi, thought they looked nice, one of the few parts of my body that did. And then I had to ruin them like that.

"Anyway, things kept going like this until one night when Reiner took things further than he usually did. I finally told him no when he told me he wanted sex. I thought I'd forgotten what that word meant at that point, honestly, but for some reason I said it. It felt good for a minute to say it, I remember, but oh, it pissed him off so bad. He came flying at me like a bat out of hell, started smacking me of course, but then he managed to get me on the floor under him, and he wrapped his fingers around my neck and started choking me.

"Levi, I thought I was going to die." Eren was squeezing his hand so hard now that the grip was becoming painful, and his demeanor changed completely. It was if the light in his eyes dimmed considerably, and he was no longer seeing what was in front of him. "I was certain I was going to die. I couldn't breathe to tell him to stop, and I wasn't strong enough to get him off me. I was trapped, couldn't move, and I couldn't breathe, couldn't-couldn't move, couldn't breathe, could"-

He was cut off by a high pitched, distressed whine, which was thankfully sharp enough to get him out of his own head long enough to see that it was Levi who had made the noise and cease his rambling. If he could see himself, he'd understand what had made the mermaid so scared suddenly; Eren was shaking like he was cold, even though the sun was beating down on them, and his extremities were tingling. His head felt light, as if all the blood in it had been replaced with air, and a drilling pain had taken up residence in his temples while his ears rang. His stomach churned, threatening to empty itself if he moved even an inch, and he covered his mouth with his hand. Levi was scrambling to sit up all the while, and once he did, he wrapped his arms around Eren again, gently pulling him down until they were laying side by side. Eren fell with him easily, the sudden dizziness encouraging him not to put up any resistance. He didn't even fight it when Levi pushed his head down into the crook between his neck and shoulder. He just closed his eyes and let himself disappear into the warm darkness between them.

They lay like that for several minutes, Eren riding out his dizziness and nausea, trying to pull himself out of the panic attack by taking deep breaths, reminding himself that he didn't have those hands around his throat now. And by breathing in through his nose, he could smell Levi and his mellow fishy scent underlined by some foreign bit of musk that Eren didn't find unpleasant at all, and knew he was safe and protected. That smell, as well as those concerned croons and purrs vibrating all around him grounded him, and gradually, gradually calmed him. Eventually, his breathing went from desperate gulps to soft little puffs against Levi's shoulder, and he found the strength to speak again.

"Thank you," Eren murmured, "I appreciate it."

The mermaid nuzzled his hair, a low sound vibrating deep in his chest, a sound of reassurance and comfort. Eren snuggled further into the embrace, not even daring to raise his head, just in case.

"I need to finish though," the boy said firmly, and of course Levi stared down at him, one eyebrow raised in clear disapproval. To which Eren insisted, "No, I'll be fine now. I'll be fine as long as I lay here like this."

Like what, Levi wondered briefly. Just laying down in general? Or perhaps, did he mean lying there with Levi? Was his presence helping at all? The mermaid squeezed Eren a little more firmly against his body, and then settled a hand in his hair and began to stroke it, not failing to notice the small smile that it produced in his friend.

"So anyway," Eren sighed, "After that, I decided I had to leave. No matter what, I had to get out of there. So the next time Reiner left for work, I ran to the nearest bus stop with just one suitcase and a small wad of bills I had managed to save up. And the whole time I ran there, I was so scared Reiner was going to come home early, or one of his friends would see me on the street and call him and tell him where I was. See, I never bothered trying to leave before. Reiner didn't even have to lock the door, because fear kept me where I was. I was scared he'd kill me, and after he almost did…I don't know, I guess it sparked something where I just decided I'd rather die trying to get away than cowering in that house. But nothing happened. I made it to the bus stop, had just enough for a plane ticket, and didn't stop being terrified until I showed up on my parent's doorstep."

Eren was quiet for a moment, before he finished softly with, "I've been home for just a few months now. Trying to get back on my feet and everything. It's been really hard. I have to remind myself that I can eat whatever I want now, that I don't have to worry about cleaning the house so perfectly, that I can burn food and I won't be hit. That no one is going to hurt me or force themselves on me. That I can sleep through the night and no one is going to bust down our door. But I don't know, now I'm starting to worry again. Reiner of course called me when he found out I was gone, and I told him I was leaving him and not coming back. After that I ignored his texts and calls, and for a while they stopped. Then he texted me a few days ago, saying he missed me, that he wanted to start again and it just…I don't know, it set me off. Didn't make me feel safe anymore. I'm-I'm scared, Levi."

The boy nuzzled his nose a little further into his shoulder, and his next words came out slightly muffled since they were spoken into Levi's skin. "I'm sorry I unloaded all of that on you. I feel bad, but I also feel a bit better telling you all that anyway. Not even my parents or friends know everything. They don't know Reiner tried to kill me and that's why I left, or that he used to pimp me out. I couldn't…I couldn't tell them that. But you-you're special, Levi. Even though I don't know what you went through, I feel like you get it better than anyone, you know? And I'm so happy I found you again."

They lay there in silence for several minutes, Eren just resting his voice and basking in Levi's warmth, placing his nose against his neck and feeling his pulse beating against the thin skin there. Levi just purred continuously and loudly, feeling terribly useless. Truth be told, he hadn't understood a great deal of what Eren had told him, but in the end, that hadn't mattered. Even if he didn't understand all of the words, he understood the emotion behind them, understood the pain and terror on Eren's face, and that had affected him enough to inspire his sympathy and understanding. He knew that Eren had been hurt by a former mate, enough so that he was scared even when his mate was no longer with him. He knew that he had to help, but he didn't know what to do except purr more, and what good would that do in the end? Eren would still be scared, and Reiner would still be a threat to him.

Well, perhaps in the meantime, there was one more thing he could do.

Levi's heart broke a little more when he heard Eren say, "I think I'm done with love, Levi. I don't know. If not forever, then for a long time. I think what I've learned from this whole thing is that I can't trust myself. I let myself go along with this weak little fantasy that as long as I kept my head down, everything would be fine. That maybe one day Reiner would just wake up and realized how much he loved me and stop hurting me. I'm not a good judge of character, and who's to say I won't make a mistake like this again? I don't think I could handle it if I did. I might break for good, you know?"

He laughed humorlessly, and the sound scared Levi as badly as his story had. Before Eren could say another word, he got his attention with a light tap with his tail against the boy's calf. When Eren met his eyes, he shook his head, trying to deny his last statement. He then looked down meaningfully at the boy's legs, watching as Eren followed his gaze. He brushed his flukes against Eren's thighs, before running a finger down his own arm and side. Eren looked up at him, his brows furrowing and his lips parting with a question. Levi repeated the gesture a couple more times, before comprehension dawned on Eren's face, and he gasped. Levi was pointing to Eren's thighs because that's where his scars were, and then Levi was pointing to where his own scars were on his body.

Telling him without words that he didn't have yet that they were more alike than either of them had realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is inspired by the Nightwish song of the same name. Sorry this chapter got so heavy guys lol And there's even more heaviness to come. :)


	10. The Answer to the Riddle

Eren was sitting in what had turned into his spot in the mermaid tank, at the edge of the sunning rocks, legs crossed with his notebook in his lap, scribbling away. Levi meanwhile was treading water in front of him, quickly getting irritated because he couldn't get into _his_ spot in the tank, Eren's lap, while that notebook was in his way. He glared at it, hating this new intruder, even if it was just an inanimate object and he knew it, before barking softly.

"Yes?" Eren replied, not looking up from his work. He was beginning to learn each of Levi's specific barks. Some were loud and deep, those were warning barks for others to stay away. Some were sharp and clear, meaning he had heard something. He also had a much softer, almost dreamy "boof" kind of bark that he made when he was half awake and thought he had heard something, but was most likely just imagining it. This was one was clearly just meant to get Eren's attention.

Levi barked again, more insistently, causing Eren to look up. Once he did that, the mermaid moved closer, reaching up and curling his fingers around the edge of the notebook, beginning to pull it aside. Eren hastily held it in place.

"No, you can't have that," Eren chided, "I need it still."

However, it was going to take much more than that to put Levi off. He pulled himself up onto the rocks beside the boy, pawing at the notebook again. He hooked his fingers through the rings, trying once again to pull it aside. Eren once more pulled it out of his reach, glaring at him.

"Levi, cut it out," he huffed, and then placed it back in his lap, turning his face away from him.

The mermaid backed off for a moment, sighing in frustration as Eren bent over his work again and returned to writing. But then he decided to change tactics. Force wasn't working, and besides, he didn't really want to make Eren mad. Instead, he lowered himself to the rocks, trying to look as submissive and small as he possible could. He placed his chin on Eren's thigh, whining subtly until the boy finally looked over in his direction, his expression amused this time.

"Really?" Eren deadpanned. Levi amped up the pitiful whining, and the boy rolled his eyes, finally relenting. "Oh my God, alright. Come here."

He lifted his notebook up, and with a delighted chirp, Levi dove into his lap, hugging Eren's knee and curling his tail around him. When he didn't feel Eren's hand immediately settle into his hair, he reached up, groping for one of his hands and trying to place it on his head. Seeing what he was doing, the boy moved both his hands and his notebook further out of reach. "No, Levi. I really do have to finish this before lunch."

The mermaid fixed him with an irritated glare, and tried to reach for his hand one more time. But when Eren gave him a warning look, he stopped, instead settling himself down into Eren's lap, grumbling. The boy rolled his eyes again, though he was smiling.

"You are so _spoiled_ ," he pointed out, "Though that's mostly my fault. Actually it's entirely my fault."

As if to add to punctuate his statement, Levi let out a loud purr, nuzzling his thigh and hugging his knee tighter. Eren shook his head fondly, and lowered his notebook until it was leaning against Levi's side, using him as a makeshift desk. The mermaid _"mrrr"_ ed in surprise, raising his head to see what he was doing, before he calmed again. However, he didn't lay his head back down. Instead, he stared over his shoulder at Eren's pencil scratching across the page curiously.

Levi chirped sharply to attract Eren's attention again, and when the boy looked up, he signed, _"What you write?"_

Eren would have signed back, to keep Levi's practice going, as he was still learning, but at the moment his hands were full, so he simply answered, "Observations."

When he didn't elaborate, Levi asked, _"About?"_

The boy went back to writing and said, "Well, about you, for the most part. Like, on this page, I'm making a list of your different vocalizations, and writing next to them what each of them mean, based on what I've learned from being around you."

When he glanced up at the Levi, the mermaid was saying, _"Because that what you learn…ing?"_

Eren smiled hugely, pleased by how well he was signing today. "What I'm studying, yes. I came here to focus on dolphins, but really, I was hoping I'd get to work with you, even before I knew who you really were."

The boy watched his eyes flicker down to the notebook page, watching the fascination spark in them. _"What more you write?"_

"Well," Eren flipped back a page, "I've also made notes on some of your little behaviors and quirks. Like how you love it when I pet you, how you prefer salmon and trout over tuna. How you're very neat and orderly with the things in your tank and how the rocks have to be positioned a certain way, how you keep the outside and I assume the inside of your cave very clean. How you love the shiny rocks versus the dull ones. And of course how clingy you are."

Levi made a deep, rhythmic, almost metallic kind of rumbling sound in his chest. Eren stared at him oddly for a moment, before he realized, judging by the smile on his friend's face, that he was laughing. It was the first time he had ever heard Levi laugh before, and before he knew it, he found himself grinning widely in delighted surprise. He rushed to write down this new sound on his list, and Levi watched him with amusement.

" _What else you see about me?"_ Levi asked when Eren looked at him again.

"I've also noticed that ever since you learned to sign, you call me a brat a lot," Eren pointed out.

" _You are,_ " Levi signed with a snort, _"Big brat. Act like little."_

Eren stuck his tongue out, and Levi pointed at him, letting him know that he was only proving his point. Eren laughed, pushing Levi's hand down, and the mermaid laughed again, that metallic rumble quieter this time.

"But really, you can't be that much older than me, if you even are," Eren said. "How old are you anyway?"

Levi just shrugged his shoulders. Immediately, Eren felt foolish. Of course the mermaid had no idea how much time had passed since he had been captured. He might not have been keeping track of time before then either. But still, it couldn't hurt to try and figure it out.

"Well, how old were you when were captured?" he asked.

Levi answered quickly with, _"Twelve."_

"Ah, okay, so that makes things easier. Thirteen years have passed since then, so that makes you…twenty five. Oh, so you are older than me. But not by much."

Levi blinked a couple of times as he absorbed this information. More time had passed than he had thought. In the park, the days all seemed to blur together in one, monotonous stretch. He didn't have the rhythms of the different migrations he and his mother went on in the ocean to help him keep track of time anymore, so it was impossible to know, besides the subtle changes in his body, that the years were passing at all. He couldn't believe that he was this old already; in his mind, he had still been a very young teenager. But now…

Shaking off the surprise, he asked Eren, _"How old you?"_

"Twenty two," Eren told him.

" _See? Brat."_

"Yeah yeah," the boy grinned, before quickly writing down what Levi had just told him.

The mermaid was in the middle of explaining to Eren that he and his mother kept track of the years by how many times they travelled up to the Arctic with the humpback whales to join in on their winter feeding, when they heard the sound of footsteps clicking against the stone path that led into the middle of the tank. Almost immediately, Levi sat up and curled around Eren protectively, growling low in his throat and glaring at the intruder over his friend's shoulder. Eren turned his head and looked over his shoulder as best he could in his restrictive hold, feeling relief when he saw it was only Hanji.

"Hey," he greeted over the sound of Levi's growls, which only got louder the closer Hanji came.

"Hello Eren," she said, and added, "Hello vicious beast attached to Eren."

The boy snickered, reaching up rubbing between Levi's shoulder blades. The mermaid was clinging to him very tightly now, on the verge of restricting his breathing, and he chastised, "Levi, manners. You know her, she's not going to hurt either of us."

"You never know," Hanji joked, "I've been told I'm quite the monster when it comes to fighting for the last donut in the box."

Eren snorted, while Levi simply snarled louder, taking her words as a threat. Hanji held up her hands in surrender, and Eren reached up further to start massaging the tense muscles at the back of Levi's neck, shushing him.

"Oh hush. Hush," he murmured, "It's alright, she wasn't serious. We're safe, alright? You can let go."

At that, Levi's growling began to die down. However, he kept Hanji in his sights as he deliberately rubbed the side of his face against Eren's, like a cat, before he laid back down in his lap, turning his back on the scientist. However, his back remained stiff, his body obviously still on alert, just in case. Eren shook his head at him, before twisting his upper body around to face Hanji as best he could.

"So what did you need?" he asked.

"Oh, just to tell you that it's almost lunchtime, and I think you told me you wanted to type up those notes before lunch, yes?"

Eren cursed softly to himself, and then said, "Alright, thanks, yeah, I'll be down in a bit."

Before he could move an inch however, he heard a pitiful whine from his lap that cut off as soon as Eren looked down at the source, as if he wanted to cover up the fact that that noise had in fact come from him. Eren laughed softly and squeezed the mermaid's shoulder. "Oh, you poor thing," he said sympathetically, "It's okay, I'll be back. I'll come and have lunch with you in a bit, okay?"

Levi shrugged, as if he didn't really care one way or the other what Eren did, even though the boy knew that was a complete lie. He leaned over him and bumped his forehead gently against Levi's temple, which allowed Levi to begrudgingly crane his neck up and brush his temple against Eren's once more. He let the boy get up without so much as a single complaint, watching as he brushed off his pants and joined Hanji, waving at him one last time while Levi watched them go, feeling something in his chest deflate just the smallest bit.

Once they were down the ladder and on the way to the lab, Eren heard Hanji start snickering beside him.

"What?" he wanted to know.

Her giggles died down, and she finally said, "Oh nothing. You two are just cute, that's all. It's amazing how much you have Levi wrapped around your finger."

Eren raised an eyebrow and said slowly, "Um…no I don't? What do you mean?"

Hanji looked over her glasses at him. "Eren, sweetie, listen. Do you really think Moblit or I or anyone else in the entire aquarium would be able to get him to do anything by simply asking him nicely? You've got a special way with him is all I'm saying."

The boy shrugged, and blushed slightly at her comments. "But I didn't do anything."

"You're right," she agreed, "You didn't do anything but be yourself."

Eren pressed his lips together, unsure of what to say in response, for Hanji had said this before, and he still didn't know how to react to it. Hanji on the other hand, as she held open the door to the lab and let him go before her, knew exactly what she was on about, but didn't feel that it was the right time to reveal such information. After all, she had a strong suspicion that there was a very specific reason as to why Levi was so eager to obey Eren, if that longing look he had fixed the boy with as they had left the tank had anything to say about it.

But again, it certainly wasn't her place to say anything. Eren would just have to figure it out on his own.

000

True to his word, Eren returned to the tank an hour later, notes typed, with both his lunch and Levi's dangling in each hand at his sides. As soon as he heard the sounds of the boy's footsteps against the stone path, Levi appeared at the edge, exhaling explosively and letting out enthusiastic little chirps upon seeing who it was. Eren couldn't help but smile and laugh.

"Hey there kid," he greeted, "Hungry? I'm starving, so let's not waste time, yeah?"

He settled himself on the edge of the platform, crossing his legs in front of him, and setting down their lunches: a bucket of fish for Levi and takeaway from the seafood restaurant down the street for him. He handed Levi his first fish, before he bothered to unwrap his lunch and take a bite out of it. They kept this up for a few minutes, Eren making his way slowly through his lunch while keeping an eye on Levi, tossing him a new fish every time he reduced the one in his hands to bones and taking the bones from him, tossing them in the bucket.

Levi finished his lunch before Eren did, leaving him to watch the boy eat. Eren had just taken a bite out of one of his fish fingers before he noticed. He stopped mid chew, wondering what on Earth the mermaid was staring at.

"Can I help you?" he asked jokingly.

Levi seemed to realize what he was doing then, and hastily dropped his eyes with a blush. Eren breathed a laugh, and then asked, "What, are you still hungry?"

The mermaid shrugged. Really, his stomach was too full for him to really consider himself hungry. But Eren, being as kind as he was, swallowed his mouthful and then offered one of his fish fingers to Levi, holding it out to him. "Here, this is fish," he said, "It's cooked though, so it'll taste a little different. You can try it if you want, or I can sneak you some more sardines from the back?"

Levi hesitated, sniffing the offered treat carefully. He froze for a moment as he processed the smell, deciding that it didn't smell bad, per se, just different than what he was used to. It did pique his curiosity though, and Eren was kind enough to offer some of his own food to him. Besides, if his friend was eating it and offering it to him, then it had to be safe. So, he took the fish finger from him, and, after he sniffed it one last time, took a small bite, and chewed very slowly, letting the flavor wash across his tongue.

And his eyes immediately lit up.

Eren watched as his friend began to chew faster, swallowing his bite, and then finishing off the fish finger within three more bites. And as soon as he had licked his fingers clean, he was looking up at the boy with the same eyes Fern did after he gave her a chip from his plate.

"Good, huh?" he said with a grin, "Want another one?"

Levi nodded eagerly, and accepted the second fish finger, devouring it much more quickly than the first one, enjoying the crunchy, buttery texture, both flavors foreign to his tongue. Cooked fish was also completely foreign, but it was _good_ , much easier to chew. No wonder Eren had such small teeth and jaw muscles. With food like this, he didn't need the bigger teeth and jaw muscles Levi and his kind had. In an instant, after licking his fingers again, he was pawing at Eren's knee again, his eyes huge and shining.

"More?" Eren prompted, and when Levi nodded, he quickly gave him another one, snorting at how enthusiastically he took it from him. Once that one was finished, he asked for another, then another, and another, until half of Eren's fish fingers were gone.

"Alright you, that's enough for today," he finally said, batting Levi's grasping fingers away. When the mermaid deflated with a morose groan, he added in a stage whisper, "I'll bring you your own portion tomorrow."

Levi brightened up considerably at that, smiling widely and straightening up in the water. Eren decided that he should finish his lunch quickly, as it was already almost time to go, and he took another swig of his tea in his thermos. He felt Levi's curious eyes on him, and when he put the thermos down, he heard the mermaid click questioningly.

"It's tea," Eren explained. "Hot tea. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea even though it's hot as balls out. Although it's slightly cooler by the water."

Before he could take another sip, he took in Levi's longing stare, sighed, and relented with, "I'm guessing you want to try a bit of this too?"

Levi shrugged noncommittally, trying not to show how excited he was at the prospect. He could only imagine that if the fish fingers had tasted wonderful, the rest of Eren's lunch had to be just as amazing. But Eren saw right through him, of course, saw how he was just barely keeping himself from vibrating with excitement, and he rolled his eyes good naturedly. He then leaned over, holding his thermos out to Levi.

"Be careful," he warned, "It's pretty warm, and it'll spill, so drink it slow."

Without a word, the mermaid carefully took the thermos, heeding Eren's warning and holding it with both hands, before lifting it to his lips and tasting it carefully. The heat certainly took him off guard, causing him to startle and almost drop the thermos. After all, he had never eaten something this hot before. Warm certainly, but not hot. But his curiosity won out, and he went back in for another taste.

And as soon as the rich flavor of the tea hit his tongue, he knew in an instant he'd be willing to sell out his best friend to the devil if only he'd be allowed to drink this stuff every day.

Eren watched as he tipped the thermos back further and began to gulp down the tea more enthusiastically, seeing that his cheeks were dusted pink, could have sworn he heard a soft moan escape the mermaid's throat, and realized fondly he was going to have to make room in his bag tomorrow for another thermos in addition to the fish fingers.

000

Later that night, Eren was glancing at the clock, already preparing himself for the horrid time he knew he would see. Sure enough, the numbers were glowing one forty one at him. And he had been laying there for three hours, unable to find even a wink of sleep.

He knew why, of course. He was so tense, his throat, abdomen and shoulders were exceedingly tight, his back felt hot and cold at the same time, and if he closed his eyes for too long, he could feel a headache developing. He was straining his ears without him realizing it, constantly opening his eyes after closing them and looking towards his doorway, or his window, or towards the dark corners in his room to see if something was there. Or worse, eyeing his phone to see if it was going to have a new text message on it.

He had discovered that he had gotten yet another handful of them from _him_ when he had opened up his phone after getting out of the aquarium. He was so engrossed in his work there that he rarely if ever looked at it during the day, and he didn't feel safe having it near the water anyway, so his messages tended to pile up. So it was quite the shock after his wonderful, productive day, to see his ex's name appear in his inbox. His messages ranging from apologies to threats saying he was going to fly down there and teach Eren a lesson as to what happens to people who try to leave him had promptly thrown an icy bucket over his perfect day. It had set him on edge, and to his horror had begun to bring forth old habits that he had been trying so hard to break.

That evening, he had found himself unable to eat anything but a thin, weak soup and a large cup of water, too scared to consume anything with too many carbs, and then insisted that he go for a run after dinner, saying it was to clear his head. He even took Fern with him for good measure, and while she had loved the run, even she seemed to sense something was amiss, constantly looking over her shoulder at him as she galloped along. When he got home, he caught himself staring at the floor, too nervous to look anyone in the eye. He had also been too afraid to say anything much, and had remained uncharacteristically quiet, much to his parents' dismay. He tried to tell them that he was fine, but of course they didn't believe him.

And no here he was, trying to fend off yet another panic attack as he realized how late it really was and how long he'd been lying awake. He was tired, he really was. He could feel the desire to sleep gnawing at his consciousness, but his fear was much stronger. Fear that Reiner would do as he claimed and show up at his doorstep, ready to do him and his family harm. The boy shuddered anew. What would he do if that happened? He didn't even want to think about it.

Eren sighed heavily, trying to both soothe his nerves and expel his frustration. However, he accomplished neither, and he was running out of options. He had half a mind to go out into the living room and watch t.v until he fell asleep. The silence was beginning to unnerve him, and the worst part was, before Reiner, it never had before. It used to be that he could sleep just fine in the ringing quiet, even preferred it, but now he was finding that the absence of sound made it so that he was constantly on alert for something to break it. Like the sound of a door slamming open or-

He shut off his train of thought. He couldn't take this anymore.

Eren sat up and turned on his lamp, before he lowered his head so that it was between his knees. He felt dizzy and sick, his heart pounding too hard in his chest, which only aggravated his growing headache. He groaned softly, both in pain and lingering unease, missing the days when all he had to do to fall asleep was lay down and close his eyes. He contemplated texting Mikasa, but what good would that do? All she would do afterwards was get worried about him, and get on his case about reporting Reiner again, and he didn't have the energy to deal with that.

Maybe his mom wouldn't mind if he borrowed Fern for the night to lay on his bed. But his dad wasn't there right now, working the night shift at the hospital as he was, and while he knew she would understand and would be fine letting him borrow her dog, Eren would feel bad, as well as not feel safe doing so. After all, Fern was to remain in her room with her while she slept, just in case. But why did he even want Fern or Mikasa in the first place? It was like there was something pulling him, but in what direction and for what reason he didn't know. The desire was there though, hot and uncomfortable, the desire for… _something._

Eren swung his feet over the side of his bed, feeling restless as he tried to figure out what it was his subconscious was telling him he needed. His feet were leading him across the room, and before he knew it, he was standing in front of his dresser. He blinked down at it, finding that he was looking at his little pile of conch shells, as well as his pendant, which he often laid on top of the one of the shells when he took it off for the day. And he found that even just looking at these shells, seeing the physical evidence of the happiest summer of his life, eased the pounding of his heart and head just slightly.

Before he could stop himself, he was picking up one of the shells and taking it back to bed with him. Once he laid down, he held it up to the light, watching it shine through the thinner parts of the shell. He had been so convinced at the end of that summer that he would never see Levi again, and yet against all odds, they had found each other again, and had somehow grown even closer now than they had then.

Eren sighed, but this time it was a sigh of fondness. Just thinking about the mermaid had a calming effect on him. His muscles began to loosen when he thought of how Levi brightened up whenever he saw Eren come into the tank, how he purred when Eren petted his soft hair, and all of his little mannerisms that never ceased to endear him to him. His happy chirps, how he liked to sleep in a ball, the little crease that formed between his eyebrows when he was thinking hard or concerned, or how his smiles were mostly smirks, but when they turned genuine, they were always for Eren only. The boy felt his muscles loosening one by one as he ran his fingers over the shell, especially when he reminded himself that tomorrow (or later today, he supposed) he was going to have to pack an extra tea for his friend and some extra fish fingers too. Maybe he could even find something else that Levi might like to try. How well would he be able to handle human food? They would just have to experiment and find out. And tomorrow they would keep going on more complex sign language phrases and _oh_ he had planned on telling Levi some more of his past work in his budding career as a marine biologist, maybe Levi would have some insight for him as to how he could improve-

And that was when it hit Eren. Right there, in that bed, was where the answer to the riddle appeared right in front of his eyes. His fingers even stilled on the shell as he figured out why he was so restless. Most of it was just anxiety, but that longing he hadn't been able to put his finger on was there as well, raising its little head and attacking his chest with a vengeance once it had been acknowledged and realized. Eren was feeling lonely, terribly so. But it went far beyond that.

He _missed_ Levi.

The boy huffed. What a ridiculous notion. He was going to see his friend tomorrow, in less than seven hours in fact. How could he possibly miss him? He already saw him every day, practically. Was that not enough for him?

It slowly sunk in for Eren that no, it wasn't. Instead of this shell, he wanted Levi here beside him. The mermaid was such a good snuggler, so ridiculously soothing with his presence. Eren felt something in his chest open and it became a little easier to breathe when he remembered the sensation of Levi's arms around him, holding him against his body and forcing his face to hide in his shoulder, remembered his musky, clean smell. Remembered his soft, sweet croons pulling him out of his panic like nothing else had been able to…

…remembered how _safe_ he felt when he was with Levi.

Eren groaned and buried his face into his pillow. How strange was it that he felt safer in the tank of the most dangerous creature at the Sina Aquarium but not in his own home? But he did. When he felt those strong arms around him, heard that soft voice, he felt like nothing could harm him. Levi wouldn't let anything get to him. And as awful as it sounded he found the idea that he had killed before to be morbidly comforting in this situation. It meant that if Reiner somehow ever got near Eren while Levi was with him, the mermaid would have no holds barred about attacking him with everything he had.

And more than anything, Eren wished he was in the tank right now. He wished he could somehow sneak into the aquarium and spend his night with his friend, for he knew he would sleep far better on those stones if than in his bed if he had his guardian watching over him.

But for now, all he could do was grip the conch shell close to his chest, and long uselessly for things that could never be. Levi could never be there to protect him all the time, and anymore, Eren could never be truly safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from the song lyrics for “Élan” by Nightwish.


	11. Race the Dark

It was official, Levi decided. He was in love with Eren. Completely, disgustingly, reminiscent of a school girl, ass over tit in love with him.

How did he know? How didn't he know, that was the shorter answer. Eren literally seemed to invade every one of his thoughts, and being anywhere near the boy sent his heart into stupid, excited fits. He inspired in Levi bouts of affection so great that all he could seem to do was coo and purr over him for hours, nuzzling his face and curling around him, insides turning to mush whenever Eren would hug him or nuzzle him back. He became irrationally jealous whenever the boy told him he was going to work with any of the other creatures in the park, and so sad when he told him he was going home for the night that he honestly thought there was something wrong with him.

Whenever Eren arrived in his tank, Levi would listen for his footsteps and appear at the end of the stone pathway, shrieking and wriggling happily like a dog excited by his master's return. It was all he could do not to squeal in anticipation as he waited in his cave for the sound of Eren's footsteps against the concrete floor. Yes, he was truly screwed. And he knew he was for sure thanks to the dreams he had been having lately. He wasn't complaining by any means, as it was a nice change compared to the nightmares he usually had, but…

The short version was they had been featuring Eren lately, and they had been extremely…vivid. The long version was that, well, oddly enough, in all of these dreams, he had not been a mermaid, but a human. Human so that Eren could ravish him in every perverted way his mind could produce for him, which sadly, due to his lack of experience, wasn't many. Just last night he had been treated to a first person point of view of himself in how he imagined Eren's room to be as the boy had described it to him, bouncing desperately on his lap as Eren firmly gripped his rear to help guide his motions. Levi had heard all sorts of debauched noises escaping his own throat and echoing around them, their skin flushed and their breaths humid as they panted. Eren's eyes fixed upon him and only him, his expression perfectly sinful, sweat shining softly on his temples, lips parted around his groans.

Levi had heard himself whimper, "I love you," over and over, each declaration a caress to Eren's battered heart. He had watched Levi's back arch slowly and a long whine fall from his parted lips, seen the sincerity in his gaze and known it was true. And above all, more than the physical pleasure, all Levi wanted Eren to know was that he was loved, and that he didn't have to be afraid, that Levi would protect him.

The dream had finished with the two of them embracing each other tight, Eren pounding into him with fervor as their moans practically became screams and Levi could feel tears beading on his eyelashes from how overwhelmingly good it all felt. He and Eren were holding each other so tightly that he could feel their hearts beating next to each other, could feel himself gripping the other like he was the only rock in the turbulent sea.

Hearing Eren whisper feverishly into his ear that he loved him back.

And then Levi woke up, his entire body burning and his skin flushed when he glanced down at it. Even his tail was a different color than normal, a deep blue rather than its normal dark grey. But as he calmed down, the color faded back to normal, leaving Levi feeling hollow and wanting. Wanting to know what real human sex felt like; how pleasurable was it really? Were the stories his kind told true? What secret pleasure spots did the human body hold, and what would it feel like when they were stimulated? More importantly, how would it feel for Levi when Eren was the one stimulating them?

However, most of all, Levi wanted Eren's requited love. He wanted to hear how sweet those words would sound, coming from the boy. But he also knew that it would never happen, partly because of what he had heard of Eren's past experience with mates, and partly because he had told Levi he never wanted to love again. And it was those words that made him feel quite guilty for having romantic feelings for the boy at all. It made him feel horrible, like he was a threat to Eren just by being attracted to him and loving him. And he had tried to deny the feelings, he really had, for Eren's sake. He didn't want to make him uncomfortable. He'd never forgive himself if he did that, especially considering what Eren had gone through…

Levi shook himself. He couldn't ever let Eren know how he felt, not if he wanted to keep him around. He could bury them if he tried hard. As it stood, Eren's presence was more valuable than any delusions of a romantic relationship. If Levi lost him, he'd lose hope again, and he didn't think he'd survive that this time.

Things seemed to be going alright for the time being though. For the past few weeks, Eren had been teaching Levi ASL, and seemed infinitely pleased at his progress. He managed to learn almost the entire language in that short time, prompting Eren to declare that as soon as they could, they needed to get Levi in the MRI machine so they could take a look at his brain to see what enabled him to learn languages so quickly, and for what purpose. Levi had given Eren a dubious look at that, but Eren had simply ruffled his hair and assured him that they wouldn't do that for a while yet, and that first, now that they could have almost seamless conversations, he wanted to ask him as many questions about his kind as he possibly could. As far as the mermaid knew, that was on the agenda for the day.

But, during the entire time Eren had been teaching him ASL, Levi had noticed a change in his boy. It had been very subtle at first, but during these past few days, it became obvious. Though Eren tried to be his usual cheery and excited self when he came into the tank, he seemed rather subdued to Levi. His laughs sounded quieter and more forced, his words lacked their usual bite. His posture was stiffer, his shoulders tense. Worse, he became irritable more easily, grumbling to himself and even snapping at Levi when he struggled to grasp the concept of a phrase he was learning or couldn't get his hand signals right. Of course, he had looked horrified afterwards and promptly apologized over and over again.

"I'm so sorry," he had whispered, "I'm sooo sorry, Levi. I didn't mean to, I promise."

He had then bowed his head and prostrated himself on the stone, his forehead touching it as he did so. Levi had looked stunned for a moment, before breaking himself out of it and placing a hand on the back of Eren's head, cooing and threading his fingers through his hair.

"No, you shouldn't forgive me," the boy had insisted, still not looking at him, "I yelled at you. Like your old trainers did. You should slap me or something. I deserve it. I'm so awful, oh my God I can't believe I did that."

Levi had blinked at him, his hand ceasing its movement in his shock at hearing that. Yes, Eren had surprised him when he had gotten angry, but Levi hadn't been afraid of him. He knew the different. He wasn't like the people at Trost Sealand. Hewas kind and sweet and bought him his own portion of human food and let Levi cuddle in his lap for hours. He never yelled, always let Levi get away with everything. He wasn't mad at him or scared of him. To show Eren that, he leaned forward and breathed a soothing breath against Eren's hair, purring as he did so. He rubbed his face gently against him, getting more enthusiastic when he heard Eren begin to giggle. He only stopped when the boy lifted his head, noticing that there were tears in his eyes. Levi shook his head, as if to say that there was no need for them, and pressed their foreheads together. And to his relief, Eren leaned into it, his lips curling into a smile.

But that hadn't been all. As the weeks had gone on, he noticed his boy getting paler, with only the shadows under his eyes getting dark. He was growing thinner too, to the point that Levi began offering his portion of the human food that Eren brought him to the boy, and even his dinner of raw fish, which he knew humans didn't like, but still he tried. He remembered Eren denying him, but he still pushed, placing both kinds of food in his lap and even growling at him, insisting he eat. A couple times Eren obliged, eating small portions of the human food, but no more.

Currently Levi was pacing, in his own way, in his tank, swimming up and down the length of it as he began to wonder what more he could do for Eren, who was due to arrive any minute. It would certainly help if he knew what was wrong in the first place. And he was so limited in what he could do to help. Not for the first time, he felt helpless.

That was however, the first time he wished that, like in his dreams, he was human. If he were human, he'd be able to help Eren more, he was sure of it. He often told Levi that being alone at night scared him. What Levi wouldn't give to be able to curl up beside him in the dark and place Eren's head onto his chest so that he could listen to his heart beating all night, so that Eren could feel another body beside his and know that he wasn't alone. He just wanted him to stop hurting, to protect him, and he couldn't do that as he was.

Levi exhaled, the bubbles rising from his nose to float upwards. He watched their journey towards the surface, and as he did so, he heard the familiar sound of Eren's footsteps against the ladder. The mermaid pushed aside his worry for the moment, and began to head towards the surface, deciding that for now he had to stop hoping for such silly things and help Eren in one of the few ways he could. He grinned in anticipation, the smile still on his face when his head broke the surface of the water. When he saw Eren walking towards him, he began whistling and chirping in a way that Eren said made him sound like a guinea pig, the sound echoing loudly off of the walls. He threw his head back a few times, sneezing excitedly for good measure, gripping the edge of the stones to pull himself closer and then reaching for Eren when he got close enough.

The boy laughed softly at his antics as he kneeled down, though the sound was hollow and didn't sound right to Levi at all. Still, Eren leaned down, which prompted Levi to lean up, grab Eren's head and press their foreheads together briefly, before he pulled back. When he did, that was when he saw that the shadows under Eren's eyes had grown even darker than yesterday, and that he looked more awful than ever, more like death warmed over than any living creature.

Levi warbled in concern, while signing, _"Are you alright?"_

Eren sighed, while signing as well as speaking, "You sound like my mom. I'm fine, nothing I can't handle."

As he said that though, the mermaid noticed the subtle trembling in his thighs, as if it were too much of an effort for his legs to hold him up. He noticed that he was swaying, the movement almost unnoticeable, to everyone but Levi, who was right up close to him. He wrinkled his nose in disbelief, and signed rapidly, _"You are not fine. You should go straight home."_

"Levi, I'm"- Eren insisted, shaking his head, but he must have shook it too hard, because he felt the dizziness that had been following him for the past couple of days swoop in harshly, enough that he put a hand to his forehead and had to close his eyes for a moment. He tried to breathe slowly; this was not a good place to faint, even though he knew Levi wouldn't let him come to any harm, still, he didn't want to put him in that position.

It took a moment before Levi's concerned, somewhat desperate chirping registered in his ears, fading in as if Eren were submerged underwater. His eyes were huge with worry, and he had pulled himself onto land, signing in front of his eyes over and over, _"What's wrong, what's wrong?"_ Eren shook his head again, trying to clear it, but it didn't seem to be working. The blackness that had been tempting him ever since he pulled into the parking lot this morning was finally swallowing him up, and his last thought before he felt his eyes close at last was that he was the biggest idiot on the planet and that he'd never be able to make it up to Levi for putting up with him like he did.

Levi gasped as Eren's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he slumped forward, the mermaid only catching him just before he managed to smack his head onto the stone below them. With a great effort, he rolled the boy over onto his back, trying to shake him awake and whistle as loudly as he could to try and gain his attention. To his horror, Eren had become even paler, and his head where it rested in the crook of Levi's elbow only lolled slightly as he tried to rouse him. His eyelids fluttered for a moment, but otherwise he didn't move. Levi leaned down and nuzzled Eren desperately, nuzzled him with his nose and cheek, whimpering. But still, he didn't move.

That was when panic began to set in, panic and frustration at his own helplessness in this state. If he were human, all he'd have to do was carry Eren out of the tank and down the ladder, take him to Hanji or Moblit or anyone else that happened to be wandering around. They'd know how to help him. Levi began looking every which way frantically, as if a human was going to magically appear in front of his tank, but there was no one in sight. So, without thinking, he started shrieking and crying out as loudly as he could, loud enough that the beams in the indoor part of this tank vibrated. His cries were in fact, were causing the other creatures nearby to start crying as well, disturbed as they were by the horrible noise.

Just when Levi thought no one was going to come, he saw both Hanji and Moblit appear over the lip of the tank, their eyes wide and worried. Hanji was demanding, "What the hell is all that racket for, Levi?" But then, she caught sight of Eren, still limp in Levi's lap and breathing much too shallowly, and understood in an instant. She gasped, Moblit also processing the scene with wide eyes, and as quickly as they were able they scurried out towards the two of them.

Hanji knelt down first, stopping a few feet away from the pair, taking in Levi's terrified expression Eren's unresponsiveness, and made a split decision. She looked over her shoulder and told Moblit, "Call an ambulance, and get someone else up here to help me carry him out."

"Right," her assistant replied, and raced back down the platform, disappearing over the ladder and out of sight.

That left Hanji with Levi, who thus far had been nothing but hostile towards her. She could only assume that he would be twice as hostile now with Eren being so vulnerable, but she had to convince him to relinquish him, even if she lost a limb for it.

"Levi?" she tried, "Levi, listen to me."

He lifted his head, and she noticed that he was biting his lip and that his eyes were rimmed in red, as if he was trying to hold back tears. The poor thing. But at least he wasn't growling at her. "Other people are going to come into the tank in a minute, and then we're going to have to take Eren, okay? We're going to take him somewhere where they're going to help him get better. Will you let them have him when they come up?"

Levi just bit his lip harder, chewing on it, as it gave him something to focus on above the blinding panic still raging within him. He felt ridiculous over the fact that he was indecisive. After all, he was the one who had called for their help. But now that they were actually here, with the promise of more on the way, without Eren to act as a buffer between them…

The mermaid shivered, feeling old fears rise and trying to fight them. But before he could dwell on them anymore, he heard the sound of shoes climbing up the ladder, causing both he and Hanji to look in that direction. A moment later, Moblit appeared with the phone held up to his ear, speaking to someone on the other line. Behind him was another worker, Mike, a huge man that usually worked with the smaller creatures at the aquarium like the stingrays and sea urchins and tropical fish, and who was easily big enough to carry Eren. Hanji motioned him over, and he knelt down beside her.

"Alright Levi," she said to the mermaid, "Mike is going to have to take Eren now. He's going to take him and then we'll bring him back when he's well again. He won't hurt either of you, okay? Easy does it."

Slowly, they approached Levi, keeping their movements deliberate. The mermaid didn't try to stop them, processing Hanji's words. They were going to give him back? They wouldn't hurt Eren? How could he be sure of that? Mike managed to get his arms around Eren's body and began to lift him up and away, before Levi tightened his grip on his friend and halfheartedly tried to pull him back.

"Steady Levi, steady," Hanji said from beside them, "Mike, don't let go. Levi, shh, hey, come on. You have to let Eren go now. The longer he stays here, the more danger he's in. I know you want to help him, and you've done a great job of that. You've done your part, now you have to let us do ours, okay? Please let us take care of him now."

Levi paused, letting out a low, long whine of indecision. There was a tense moment where no one did anything, hardly even daring to breathe, as if an ill-timed breath would cause Levi to lash out. But he didn't. Instead, he briefly leaned forward, and nuzzled his forehead against Eren's, whimpering in a way that made Hanji's heart want to break. And then, so quick and subtle that if she wasn't sitting right there she would have missed it, she watched as Levi kissed the boy on the temple, before finally leaning back and relinquishing him. He let his arms fall to his sides when Mike tightened his grip and rose with Eren in his arms, carrying him down the path. Hanji ran ahead of him, deciding she better go down the ladder first in case Mike dropped him, but she knew that was unlikely. Levi could only watch as they disappeared from his sight over the lip of the tank, and listen as their voices faded away, leaving him alone.

000

It was two agonizing days before Eren returned to the aquarium, two days of Levi pacing his tank, of looking up expectantly when he heard footsteps on the ladder only for it to be another one of the workers there to feed him (to which he usually took the fish angrily back down into his cave and didn't come back up until the next feeding time) and two days of constantly peering over the edge of the ladder, or rather, getting as close as he could to the ladder and watching for any sign of his boy.

Hanji did eventually come back the next day and told him that Eren would be taking a couple days off to rest from his ordeal. Levi understood that, he really did, and he understood that Eren needed to rest, as horrible as he had looked. And he hated himself for how selfish he was being, but without his boy here, he was just so bored and lonely, and it reminded him too much of how things used to be before Eren came here. Those reminders scared him, and as Levi knew, he didn't do so well when he was left on his own for too long.

His anxiety rising, Levi almost didn't hear the footsteps against the ladder, but when he did, his head perked up hopefully, and when he saw Eren's brown hair appear, he didn't bother holding back his whistles and cries of pure joy, even if he did sound like a giant guinea pig. Eren laughed, his smile remaining on his face even when he finally sat down in his spot at the edge of the path, only for him to be lying on his back a moment later when Levi launched himself out of the water and wrapped his arms around Eren's neck, both of them falling from the momentum.

"Ow," Eren said, wincing when his head and back smacked against the rocks, "And now I'm soaked, thanks for that you little demon."

Levi just stared down at him, whining an apology, even signing it for good measure, causing Eren to scoff and declare, "It's alright, I missed you too."

With that, and a happy squeak, Levi leaned forward and rubbed the sides of their faces together, purring hard. Eren pressed back, breathing out a laugh. When he pulled back again to gaze down at his boy, his heart did a funny flip in his chest when he realized the position they were in. He could feel the heat flooding his face when he found himself glancing up at Eren's eyes, which were still sparkling with mirth, then flicking his gaze down to his lips, which were pink and looked slightly moist. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss him.

"Alright you big monster, let me up," Eren said, breaking the moment.

Levi blushed a little harder, but obliged, sliding off and sitting beside Eren instead, watching as the other boy sat up. When he was looking at him again, Levi took the chance to ask, _"Are you okay now? What happened the other day?"_

The boy suddenly looked very guilty, before he mumbled, "It was all my fault. I haven't been eating and sleeping enough lately, and I guess it finally caught up with me the other day. Overtired and undernourished they said. They kept me in bed for the past couple of days and monitored my eating before they let me go home."

He shook his head at himself. "God I'm so stupid. But," he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, "Reiner has still been texting me, and now he's even calling me and leaving really scary voicemails. And I haven't told my parents about it because I don't want them to worry. I guess all the stress is just building up and exploding. I thought I could handle it. God, what's wrong with me? I hate this. I hate that I'm falling back into the old habits I used to have living with Reiner. They should be long gone by now, shouldn't they? Maybe I'm more broken than I thought"-

Levi shook his head hard, saying, _"Stop, stop,"_ cutting him off. Eren just sighed heavily, his shoulders rising and falling with the motion.

"At least you get it," he said, "You know what it's like to hurt and not be able to tell anyone about it."

The mermaid found himself biting his lip, hating that his friend was hurting so. Once again, that helplessness set in, but this time he refused to succumb to it. Instead he found himself saying, _"I could tell you about it now. If you wanted. It might help."_

Eren blinked at him in surprise. "Me? Or you?"

" _Both of us. I think I have all the words now…I should be able to tell you."_

The boy sucked on his teeth for a moment as he deliberated, before he nodded. He knew how good it had felt to get all of his garbage off of his chest. And something deep inside him was telling him that as much as Levi had done for him, as much as he had listened to Eren's story, Eren owed him this much. And perhaps telling him what had happened to him at the waterpark would enable Eren to help him in ways he hadn't been able to before. So, he settled beside Levi until their bodies were touching from shoulder to hip, positioning himself in the sunlight so that his clothes would start to dry off, and fixed his gaze on Levi, letting him know he was ready to listen.

The mermaid took a deep breath, flexed his fingers, and began speaking.

" _I remember all of it pretty well, even though it happened a long time ago,"_ he started signing slowly. _"After the park bought me, they put me inside of this big box filled with water and put me in the back of a truck. There was no top on the box, and it was pretty dark and cramped and hot. Whenever the truck moved around, more water sloshed out, and all of the new sounds were overwhelming. By the time we stopped, over half of the water was gone, and I was essentially just sitting on the bottom of this box, trying to keep myself wet. I…I never thought when they lifted me out of the sea it would be the last time I'd ever be in it._

" _They put me in this tank that they said was for dolphins. It was huge, at least when I was younger. The whole thing was made of concrete. There was no sand or rocks like there is in this one. No place for me to hide. Nothing for me to do either. The only time there was something for me to do at first was when my trainers came by and started working with me._

" _Most of them were very nice, and I actually liked working with them. They said I was the easiest one to work with since all they really had to do was tell me what they wanted me to do and then I did it, after practicing a few times. At the time, performing for a bunch of people didn't seem too bad. After all, I had always been fascinated by humans, and now I got to see them every day. They had me do things like jumping through hoops, dancing underwater with my trainers, doing obstacle courses above and below the water, and solving little puzzles. Between the shows humans came down below to see me in my tank and I got to interact with them a bit. It was a nice way to spend my time._

" _But then Nile became the head trainer._

" _As I got older and got better at doing my act, Nile decided that it was time for things to get harder, like, the hoops would be on fire, or the obstacle courses would involve me jumping through two platforms as the top one was dropping. Eventually they covered in it in spikes. If I messed up on the puzzles in training, or in the show, I was punished. Anything to make the show more interesting. Higher stakes meant more ticket sales, he always said. We had to go bigger and better every year. Until one year Nile thought it would be a great idea to do this trick where it looked like I was locked in a box at the bottom of the tank and had to 'magically' escape from it. It was full of water, so my time limit was however long I could go without air. More than a few times during rehearsals I messed up and got stuck and started panicking. My trainers had to go down and break me out before I drowned. I was too afraid to do the trick during the shows, but Nile didn't seem to care. A few of the other trainers, the ones who had been with me from the beginning backed me up, and said I shouldn't be forced to do something I wasn't comfortable with._

" _So Nile fired them._

" _Now, I didn't have a choice but to do what I was told, and these new trainers weren't as nice as the old ones. They did what Nile told them, and didn't seem to care much for me. Maybe it was because I wasn't a pup and wasn't 'cute' anymore. But I think they were a little afraid of me, because the bigger I got, the more of a threat I posed. I was even more dangerous than the dolphins or orcas they trained because I was smarter than they were. Even though I had never done anything to anyone, when I showed the slightest hint of getting upset or annoyed, they'd shock me with that pole thing you had when we first met here."_

Eren winced at that, and apologized, _"Sorry. I didn't know…"_

Levi waved him off. _"I suppose I couldn't blame you."_

The mermaid shook himself, bumped his shoulder against Eren's reassuringly, and continued. _"It was like that for a year or so, just me and those trainers. That was when I really began to become afraid of people, when I really started to hate them. Every time they hit me, or shocked me, it made me angrier and angrier, and I started fantasizing about getting even with them. The only thing that really held me back was that I'd probably punished even worse by the trainers if I tried to hurt one of them back. There was no hiding from them in that tank either. Eventually the only times I got fed was during training, so if I hid from them, I wouldn't eat. I…actually tried to starve myself to death once to get out of there, some years later, but I couldn't do it in the end. It was too painful._

" _So instead, I started hurting myself in other ways. I started scraping my skin against the floor of the tank, or the walls. That's why I have all of these scars I showed you. Sometimes I'd even make myself vomit. At the height of it, I'd find myself just floating in one area of the tank for hours with my head near the surface so I could breathe and try to disappear inside my own head. Apparently, it was getting bad enough that they brought in the vet and she came to the brilliant conclusion that I was depressed. No shit. Their solution was that I needed company. So they ended up buying three more mermaids for the park._

" _But that only made things even worse. I suppose I can't blame them for not knowing, though. They probably thought mermaids were like seals or something where you can stick any group of seals together and they tend to get along. But with mermaids, it's a lot more complicated than that. They were all captured from different pods, so they all spoke different languages, different languages than I did too. But that wasn't the biggest problem._

" _See, in our world, mermaids are all female, with one male being born maybe one every one or two generations. We're so rare that we're considered abominations to our own kind, and male pups are killed at birth because they're also seen as a waste of food and other resources. For some reason, we can't reproduce. Even when males have tried to mate with females the females never get pregnant. So we're just disposed of, the females are consoled, and are told they'll get a female pup next time around._

_These mermaids…the humans ended up naming them Cambria, Tethys, and Panthalassa, and I tried to make friends with them, I really did. I was desperate, I just wanted someone I could talk to. And I figured maybe things would be different since we were all penned in together and were in the same awful situation. But no, it was like the walls weren't there at all. When they put them in pen with me, almost immediately, they started attacking me. Half the scars I have are from them. It got so bad, and there was so much blood in the water…eventually they had to put a gate through the middle of the tank so that we were separated. We couldn't even do shows together because they'd immediately start trying to tear out my throat once the gate was opened. And I felt like I was lonelier than ever, then, because there was company right on the other side, right within my reach, and they didn't want me._

" _One night though, I did start getting some company, not the kind I wanted though."_

Levi froze up, hands dropping into his lap and clenching into fists. With those simple words, Eren felt his stomach become cold. Levi's brow furrowed for a moment, and without thinking, he sidled closer to the boy for silent support, support that he was given easily. Eren put his hand on top of one of his, saying softly, "It's okay, you don't have to tell me more if you don't want to."

The mermaid shook his head fervently, lifted his hands again, and explained, _"I have to. I've been carrying this around for years, Eren, and I haven't told anyone about it. If I don't tell someone I'll explode. You get it, right?"_

" _Of course I do,"_ Eren answered without hesitating. _"Alright. Go ahead then. I'm here, just don't forget that."_

Levi offered him a small smile, and pressed their sides a little closer together until there were no gaps between them, practically sitting in Eren's lap. He hadn't wanted the boy to let go of his hand, but he knew he didn't have a choice, not if he wanted to keep going with his story.

" _I suppose they got it in their heads that they wanted to try breeding me and the female mermaids, but they clearly couldn't put us together. And they were afraid of touching me. So, Nile would sneak in after hours. He'd tempt me up with extra food, which I needed really badly. I was pretty skinny by that point, always hungry. I forgot what it felt like to be full. So I always did what he said. He would pull me out of the water far enough so that I couldn't fight back, not well anyway, and flip me over onto my back. Then he'd…he attached this weird pump to me, to my…he'd have to stimulate me to get it to come out, and that was- I mean, he'd get what he came for, but he wouldn't put me back in the water right away. I guess he got a thrill out of it, or something, because his face would turn all red and he'd start breathing heavy and…touching himself, while he was touching me. He did that quite a few times, even when he didn't bring the pump. He didn't seem to care that I was crying or panicking. He just told me if I didn't do what he said, he'd bring out the prod._

" _I think that was the breaking point for me, when he started touching me like that. It was soon after that I started attacking my trainers for the first time. I was just so angry and frustrated, and I was tired of being hurt. I wanted to hurt them back, and they were there, so…I lashed out at them. I left rake marks on their bodies like the other mermaids had left on me. I bit through the necks of two of my trainers, the ones who liked to hurt me with the prod the most or strike me across the face. A couple of them I played with a bit more, dragging them down to the bottom and holding them there until they ran out of air and then bringing them up to the surface. I was stronger than they were so they couldn't get away. Oh, they begged for their lives, tried bargaining with me, promising they'd be nicer to me if I let them go, apologizing for how they treated me. But all I could think was 'it's too late.' Most of them I let go. One of them I misjudged how long he could go without air and ended up drowning him. Oh well, good riddance._

" _After that, even though they wanted me to do more shows, the trainers refused to work with me, and they warned other incoming trainers about me too. They made it so that humans couldn't even come down to look at me in my tank. When I wasn't of any use to the park anymore, that's when they decided to get rid of me, and I was sent here."_

Levi went silent for a moment, before another thought occurred to him. _"You know, so many times when I'd sit there and tried to forget where I was, I would do it by trying to disappear inside all the good memories I had. Of my mom, of playing with dolphins, looking up at the stars, hunting for jewels on the sea floor, and you."_

He offered Eren a small shy smile, which caused Eren to avert his eyes and blush. _"You thought of me?"_

" _All the time,"_ Levi insisted. _"I missed you."_

" _I missed you too,"_ Eren replied, _"I thought about you all the time too, but especially during the summer. I kept hoping maybe I'd catch a glimpse of you where we first met or…but of course I understand now why you couldn't come. But I was heartbroken that summer for sure."_

" _Me too."_ The mermaid kept his eyes in his lap. _"I was so excited to see you again, rambling on to my mom about all the games we were going to play and all the shells I was going to bring you. Told her I was going to give you the biggest hug when I saw you again. And you know, I had some stupid hope that maybe you'd come to one of the shows and I'd see you. Or you'd come to see me after my shows and somehow sneak in my tank and we could play together again. Or somehow you'd come rescue me, or…"_

"Oh Levi," Eren breathed, seeing that his friend was crying, the tears slipping silently down his cheeks. He cupped his face, wiping them away with his thumbs. Levi's eyes widened in surprise, both at the action and the fact that he was crying. "Oh you poor thing. Jesus, we're both a mess, aren't we? But listen, I'm so glad the aquarium did find you and bring you here. They saved you. And they let us meet again."

Levi smiled a watery smile, which encouraged Eren to add, "Listen, I'm not going to let anyone take you from this aquarium. If they took you away- away from me, again, I wouldn't…" he paused, glancing to the side and sighing, before he added, "I don't think I'd be okay anymore. I'm barely holding it together now. But you, when I'm by myself and stressed about Reiner, thinking about you and holding onto the shells you gave me when we were kids helps. Because I feel so safe with you, you know?"

Levi blinked at him surprise. _"You still have those?"_

"Of course," Eren replied. He then said seriously, "We've got the dark nipping at our heels, don't we? And it wants to catch us. We can't let it, you know? We have to stay ahead of it. Race if for all we're worth. As long as we're together, I think we can, don't you?"

As usual, Levi trusted Eren implicitly, leaning into one of his hands and signing, _"Yes. I think so too."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long! But here I am at last! The chapter title is inspired by a lyric in the song Elan by Nightwish.


	12. Freefall Awaits the Brave

"Eren Jaeger, I'm going to fucking kill you."

Eren paused after he shut the door to the lab. Hanji was the one who said that, and she was glaring daggers at him from her chair in front of the computer, where she had twisted herself around halfway to see him. The boy, with wide eyes, placed his hand back on the doorknob, but as he turned it, she growled, "Don't you dare ."

His hand flew away from the knob as if he had been burned, and he took in the scene for a moment. Hanji was, fuming at him with Moblit in the chair beside her. Her oversized pair of headphones that she used to listen to the hydrophones in each of the tanks was on her head, and so was Moblit's, but the man was still blissfully staring at his screen, not even acknowledging Eren's presence yet. Hesitantly, the boy asked, "Um, can I ask what I did?"

Without turning around in her chair, she reached behind her and pulled out the plug for her headphones, allowing the sound playing the computer to blast through the room. It was the usual sounds of water rushing, but then Eren heard the distinctive sound of music coming through the speakers.

More specifically, a song Eren had showed Levi just yesterday before he had left.

"Umm…" the boy faltered for a minute, "So?"

"So? So!?" Hanji fumed, "I've stuck listening to that damn song for the past two hours because _someone_ thought it would be a good idea to introduce Levi to Youtube and hooked up a laptop in his tank. We've been stuck listening to Disney songs on full blast ever since we got here. Right Moblit?"

"Hmm?" the other scientist said. Eren saw that the cord to his headphones was going into his coat pocket and not into the computer, and when he reached inside his pocket to tap at his phone, the boy barely held back a snicker. "Did you need something?"

Hanji just let out a frustrated sigh, turning back around in her seat and telling Eren, "Just make him shut it off. Or at least turn it to a different song. Or maybe get him headphones tomorrow."

This time, the boy did snicker, especially when he processed that she wasn't really mad, and replied, "Yes Hanji, I'll certainly do one of those things."

Before she could reply, Eren hastily put his lunch in the fridge and flew back out the door, an anticipatory grin on his face as he sprinted down the hall towards Levi's tank. He darted into the food room, grabbed the mermaid's breakfast and threw it into a bucket, before he was on his way again, laughing when he heard "Try Everything" filtering down towards him. He climbed up the ladder, and as he walked down the path, he saw that Levi was not there to greet him. Instead, he was diving beneath the water, before leaping into the air.

Eren put down the bucket and watched as he did this several more times, all in time with the music. Levi clearly hadn't noticed him yet, busy as he was twisting and flipping through the air. And if that didn't tip him off, the huge grin Eren caught on the mermaid's face was enough to tell the boy that he was having the time of his life.

When Levi finally did notice him, he brightened up even more, if that was even possible, and began clicking and chittering happily. He slipped under the water for a moment, and Eren watched his dark shape swim towards him until he popped up at the end of the platform.

"You picked a good song," Eren said loudly over the music, before he proceeded to start dancing to it. That was all it took for Levi to join in, twisting as best as he could in the water, and when he saw Eren bobbing his head in time with the beat, he started to do the same.

"Hanji said you need to turn this off and that it's annoying her, but what does she know?" the boy declared.

Levi laughed in reply, even more so when Eren locked his eyes with the mermaid's when he came to his favorite part of the song and belted it out, pitching his voice low and full in his chest.

" _I'll keep on making those new mistakes! I'll keep on making them every day!"_ He tilted his head back towards the sky, then back down towards Levi with eyes closed at half-mast. _"Those new mistakes."_

He placed a hand on his hip and began shaking them to the beat, clearly over exaggerating his movements, but unable to help himself, especially when it made Levi laugh his odd metallic laugh. The mermaid then sank beneath the water again, before leaping out of it a few yards away, twisting and flipping through the air like a gymnast. Eren paused in his dancing so that he could stare in wonder, his jaw dropping open. In fact, he ceased dancing altogether as Levi kept going, zigzagging under the water, diving and rising and contorting himself into all sorts of graceful patterns, before flying into the air and landing with a huge splash. A smile was on his face the entire time, and he even managed to twist around midair and wave at Eren at point.

The boy for his part was completely entranced, right up until the song ended and Levi swam back up to Eren, breathing hard and his smile so bright that it was blinding. Eren blinked stupidly for a moment as he figured out what to say, before he gushed, "Holy shit Levi, that was amazing! That was the most beautiful thing, you were so cool! How did you do that!? "

The mermaid averted his eyes and blushed very hard, his smile softening. _"Well, I used to perform, you know."_

"I know, but like…how on Earth are you- you're just so good!" Eren exclaimed, waving his hands around for emphasis.

" _Thank you,"_ Levi said, and then tucked his hair behind one ear, his whole body heating up at Eren's praise in a way that wasn't unpleasant at all.

"And you just came up with that? You improvised that just now?"

" _I suppose."_

"Don't be modest! But- I thought you didn't like to perform anymore."

Levi shrugged, and his face grew even redder when he admitted, _"Well, the performing itself wasn't that bad. It was actually kind of fun, impressing a bunch of people and hearing how happy I was making them. And well, I don't mind performing for you."_

At those words, Eren's cheeks turned pink. "That's…I appreciated it. A lot. You're very beautiful when you perform.."

The mermaid thought he was going to turn red permanently if he didn't stop this. He waved his hand dismissively, unsure of how to respond. Luckily, Eren's eyes started shining a moment later as a brilliant idea hit him.

"Levi!" he exclaimed, kneeling down on the rocks and getting really close to him, "We should do a performance together! You and me, a dance routine under the water. Like you used to do. I mean, if you want."

Levi blinked at him for a moment, confused, but intrigued. Performing with Eren? Not just for him, but dancing _with_ him? But of course he had to ask why the sudden suggestion. _"Um, why? Not that I mind, I'm just curious."_

"Well, since you mentioned it, maybe we could put on a performance for a small audience here at the aquarium," he explained, growing more excited and animated as he kept going. "It would be a great way to raise money. They do little shows with the seals, and they even offer for people to pay to feed some of the other animals, and watch the shark feedings. I could talk it over with Hanji, see what she says. What do you think?"

The mermaid mulled it over some more. At first, he was apprehensive, afraid that performing after being free from it for these past months would trigger bad anxiety. He had always gotten nervous during those last performances at Trost Sealand, knowing if he messed up his shows he'd be punished severely. It was engrained into him that failure wasn't an option. But, then he reminded himself, here, things were different. If he messed up, no one was going to hurt him. Eren, and even Hanji and Moblit wouldn't let that happen. What about the crowds? Well, Levi couldn't imagine they would be anywhere near the size of the crowds at the amusement park; there simply wasn't enough space for them. And besides, truth be told, he always did get a bit of a rush when the crowds cheered for him.

But performing with Eren…that sounded nice. Much nicer than it should have, considering his past. So he surprised himself immensely when he replied, _"Yes. We should."_

Eren gaped in surprise. "Really? Oh my God, this is going to be so cool. I mean, I've never performed for anyone before, so you're going to have to teach me what to do, you know, guide me through everything, but wow!"

Levi allowed a pleased smile to curve his lips. There was color high in Eren's face, and his body was vibrating with excitement. The mermaid knew he had made the right choice.

"We'll need to dance to something good," Eren decided, "Something super passionate and dynamic. I'll bet no one has ever done an underwater tango before, or a waltz, or anything like that. Hmm, and then we have to pick out a song. What do you think?"

" _I like that idea,"_ the mermaid answered, despite not understanding in the slightest what a tango or a waltz was. But he liked the idea of passion. Because he was disgustingly passionate about Eren, and this would be a great way to show him.

"Oh!" the boy exclaimed, practically falling over himself as he got up and began to race over to the speakers in the corner of the tank. Levi followed him, snorting with amusement. "I think I know exactly what song we can use!"

He began to flick through Youtube, and when he pulled up the desired song, Levi felt his eyes widen and something stir in his blood that made him reply, _"Yes, this is perfect."_

000

"So, Levi, I thought I'd finally get around to asking you some of those questions about mermaids that I've been meaning to," Eren said casually during lunch that afternoon.

Levi nodded along happily, his cheeks rosy thanks to the chocolate he was devouring at Eren's feet. The boy had bought him a bar of it yesterday, and after nearly fainting with delight at the taste, Eren had laughed and said he'd buy him a whole bag tomorrow, a decision he was regretting, as Levi had pretty much neglected his lunch in favor of snarfing half of the bag. He was going to feel so sick later.

"Why do mermaids sing?" the boy wondered.

After swallowing his bite, Levi replied, _"To attract a mate."_

"Okay, but there aren't male mermaids, right?" Eren wanted to know.

" _Right."_

"So what mates with mermaids?"

Levi smirked a bit as he answered, _"Well, human men."_

Eren paused in his chewing, looking at him incredulously. "Say what?"

The mermaid just shrugged, and nodded, conveying that he wasn't joking, which prompted Eren to ask, "How does that even work? Wait, how does the mating cycle even go for mermaids anyway? No wait wait, let me get my notebook, I have to write all of this down, hold on."

He watched Eren scramble to his feet, holding back snorting in amusement as he took off with the zeal of a child tearing down the stairs towards their presents on Christmas morning. By the time Eren got back, there were even more wrappers on the stone, and Levi was sure his mouth would taste like chocolate forever.

"Okay," the boy panted, folding his legs Indian style once he was seated and scribbling away in his notebook, presumably the things Levi had already told him. Once the scratching stopped, he prompted, "Alright, sorry, continue. The mermaid mating cycle. First of all, when do you guys breed? Is there a set season, or…"

" _Twice a year, I think,"_ Levi answered, reluctantly putting his bag of chocolate down on the rocks. _"In the summer and in the fall. My mother didn't get the chance to tell me much, since I was just starting to sexually mature when I lost her, but I'll do my best. But I believe many females go into season more often than that. Some go into season right after traumatic events, I've been told, such as shortly after they lose a pup, or a friend. My mother told me it was the mermaid's body's way of trying to heal her mind, to get her to focus on breeding so she could focus on raising a child instead of focusing on her grief."_

"Wow," Eren said, already amazed. "That's really cool! I mean, really sad, but…wow, I can't think of any species that does that. Well, I mean, I've heard that human females' cycles can be influenced by stress, but not to that level. Huh. Alright, now, continue, you said they start singing when they go into season?"

" _Yes. Mermaids will find a place to attract a human mate, usually along a beach, although some have found luck in deeper water, and start singing. They sing the songs their mothers teach them, and sing from the places their mothers did. The better place you have to sing from, the more likely you are to attract a mate."_

"Like how whales do!" Eren exclaimed, his eyes practically sparkling. He hastily wrote down Levi's words, before urging him to continue. Levi did so with an amused smile, happy he could bring Eren so much joy.

" _If the mermaid is lucky, her singing will capture a man's attention and pull him towards her. He becomes enraptured by her, unable to see anything but her, lured in without even knowing it. Most men come towards her thinking she is a human who needs help at sea. But that's what she wants. When he's close enough, she kisses him. When she does that, she'll take on the form of her new mate, and will grow legs."_

Eren's jaw dropped. "She…she what? She grows legs? Trades in her tail for legs?"

" _Yes. That's what I said, isn't it?"_ Levi said, unsure what part of this was so amazing. When Eren saw his completely serious expression, he cleared his throat and covered up his surprise by writing down what he had said in his notebook. He supposed it wasn't the oddest thing he had ever heard. Butterflies and frogs grew entirely different bodies after all when they reached adulthood. Certain fish changed their genders when there weren't enough males or females around. This was no different, really. "So what happens after she grows legs? She doesn't stay human forever, does she?"

" _No. She only stays human for about a week, and breeds with the human over and over again until she conceives. The whole time she keeps the man in a trance with her very scent and voice and her appearance. Apparently mermaids, when they become human, are quite beautiful. But after a week, she'll usually wade back into the water, and when her feet touch the sea again, her tail comes back, and she swims back out into the water. The man doesn't remember a thing from the encounter, and believes it was a dream that he had. And nine months later, the mermaid will have a pup to take care of."_

"And those pups are always female," Eren mumbled to himself, adding that at the bottom of his notes. Then, something suddenly occurred to him, and he burst out, "So, is that how you guys are so good at learning languages? Because you never know what human you're going to meet when you look for a mate, and you have to be able to speak with him, so you have to learn his language quick, right?"

Levi nodded. _"That's what I'm told. We learn languages naturally fast on our own, but a mermaid can learn a man's language almost instantly when she kisses him."_

"Holy crap," Eren breathed, and then mumbled to himself, "I have to look inside your brain and figure out how the hell you do that. And see how you can turn into humans. Oh my God, this is gold, just wait until Hanji and Moblit hear about this, they won't believe any of it."

The mermaid tapped on his knee, getting his attention and forcing him to put down his notebook. He looked up the boy and said, _"Actually, there's one more part I didn't tell you that might amaze you even more."_

Eren laughed breathily. "I don't know how it could get more amazing than this."

Levi looked down shyly at the water, before he began explaining, _"Well, we have a legend among my kind. Some swear it's really happened before, some say it hasn't. But anyway, some say that there are a few rare cases where the man the mermaid kisses that she seduces is her true love. And that when she kisses him, she'll remain human forever. Even when her feet touch the water again, she won't grow her tail back. And that she won't even mind being human forever, for the love she feels for the man will be so perfect that though she'll miss the sea, she'll find herself happy to live the rest of her life with him."_

"How romantic," the boy said sincerely, looking every inch like a teenage girl the way his eyes looked all dreamy. "And amazing. I mean, what are the odds? Out of the billions of humans in the world, it's an amazing notion that they might find each other at all."

" _It is,"_ he agreed, _"And that's why, if it really happens, it's so rare. Our kind has the idea that all of us might have a true love in the human world, but very few of us are lucky enough to meet him. But I know there are some that are scared enough by the idea of becoming human forever that they refuse to mate. There are others that refuse to mate too because they fall in love with one of our own kind. Actually, that's quite common."_

"Mermaids falling in love with other mermaids?"

" _Yes. Sometimes their love for each other is so strong they'll refuse to take a human mate. We of course frown upon that, but I understand it. Many others keep their lovers but take human mates, and then the two of them raise the child together. My mother told me she had loved another mermaid once too, but she rejected her when she found out she wouldn't kill me after I was born."_

There was a pause filled only by the lapping of the water against the stone, and Eren wondered if he should ask the question on the tip of his tongue. Levi might not even know the answer, but he figured he should try anyway. "Levi? Why didn't your mother kill you? Do you know?"

Levi sighed and fidgeted, brushing his hair back and placing his elbows on the stone. He then signed without looking at Eren or even his hands, _"She told me she had had three miscarriages before me, and that I was the first pup she had that survived the whole pregnancy. When I was born, even when she discovered I was a boy, and even when other members of the pod told her she'd have to kill me, she just couldn't bear to do it. So instead, she let herself be cast out by the pod, living on the fringes and taking care of me. She knew they probably wouldn't ever accept her again fully, not even after I was grown, especially because she wouldn't have made me leave. She risked basically everything so that she could keep me."_

"Levi," Eren sighed, his heart skipping several beats, "Oh… oh wow. Your mom sounds so amazing. She loved you so much."

The mermaid's breath hitched as he breathed in, but he covered it up with a cough, and stayed silent. There was nothing he could say that wouldn't make him burst into tears. Eren noticed this, subtle as it was, and immediately feeling horrible for bringing it up, swore quietly to himself and hastily handed Levi his bag of chocolate back. "Here, have as many as you like. Finish it if you want, I'll bring back more tomorrow."

Levi breathed out a laugh, sensing the apology in his words and his stiff posture, and took the bag, leaning his cheek against Eren's knee as he ate to show that all was well. The boy cleared his throat again, and patted his head briefly, secretly pleased when Levi let out a little purr.

"So um," he stated awkwardly, "I'd like to ask you some other stuff today, if that's okay."

The mermaid nodded, looking up at Eren with shining eyes, and the boy smiled down at him, picking up his notebook again.

"Okay, so now I was wondering if you could tell me about your migration routes…"

000

Levi was woken out of a dead sleep in his cave a couple nights later, adrenaline buzzing through his body. However, judging by the burning in his lower half, he knew it wasn't for a bad reason, at least.

The mermaid groaned and dug his fingers into his hair. This boy was driving him crazy in the best way. Always his dreams were filled with declarations of love and devotion, Eren whispering that he loved him and Levi promising to protect him. He'd see himself walking side by side with his boy on the beach where they met, or in one of those parks he had been told about. Of sitting with Eren on the couch at his home, of riding in a "car" with the windows down, something of which sounded like a lot of fun. Of wriggling his imaginary toes and wondering what they would feel like with dirt or sand between them.

It must have been the dance they were practicing, which had been approved by the aquarium and of course anticipated highly by everyone. Eren was letting Levi lead him through the process, coming up with the choreography and everything. They had both agreed on a tango, which of course, Eren explained, was known for being a romantic dance filled with lust and passion, and anymore, holding Eren as close as he had to, feeling his body heat and holding their faces so close together during parts of the song…it was doing things to him, oh yes it was.

His dreams just kept getting dirtier and dirtier. He didn't need the light to be able to tell that his tail was a dark blue at the moment, and the heat was still burning below his waist. After Eren had asked him out the mermaid mating cycle, of course Levi had wanted to know about the human one, which led to Levi asking more intimate questions about how humans had sex, and it snowballed from there. Luckily Eren had been more than tolerant and hadn't seemed shy about the whole thing, despite Levi being nervous that he was going to make him nervous given his sexual history. But he had simply laughed and indulged his curiosity, saying that it was only fair. And oh, now Levi had visions of Eren bending him over and taking him from behind, could practically feel the boy's hipbones smacking into his rear over and over, could almost hear the slapping of skin against skin. He could feel his warm insides clenching down on Eren, his body trying to hold onto him. He could feel those arms wrapped tightly around his waist, his breath against the back of his neck, and his lips against his shoulder.

Or sometimes he even dreamt of being the one to take Eren, to take him slow and sweet and so gentle that it made his boy cry. Out of happiness of course. To be the one to hover over him while Eren lay trustingly on his back and submitted to Levi, legs parted vulnerably and widely while he caressed his face. To cage his head between his arms while he took him with slow, deep thrusts that made Eren's head tilt back and his lips part on a whine. To feel Eren's body suck him in and entrance him, to hold him captive with his scent and voice and touch until Levi forgot which one of them was the siren.

Levi sighed. He felt like he was freefalling, his stomach swooping with the same sensation he always got when he dove too fast, when it came to his love for Eren. He was falling too fast and too hard, too out of control, and he didn't know how to stop himself from loving him. For what awaited him at the bottom of that freefall? Not Eren's requited love, certainly. He would never force him into such a thing, even though he had the capability.

But still…

Now that the floodgates had been opened, Levi had allowed himself to fall both deeper in love and further into his fantasy of becoming human and able to remain at Eren's side forever, in good times and in bad. And sometimes, if he closed his eyes and drifted into that wonderful world between sleep and waking, if he allowed himself to be brave for one moment, he could feel both his toes digging into the sand and Eren's lips on his cheek.


	13. Poise and Calm

At first, getting an MRI had sounded pretty scary to Levi, but now, he was almost beginning to think it was worth it. Eren was giving him a piggyback ride and holding Levis hands, which were resting on Eren's collarbone while he at the same time tried his best to wrap his tail around the boy's waist. However, it wasn't designed to be that flexible, and with most of his weight pulling against Eren's neck, his friend had to walk pretty much bent in half in order to avoid being choked. They had tottered awkwardly for a moment, Eren's knees straining as his whole body adjusting to the extra weight.

"Jesus you're heavy," Eren mumbled, his face turning red with the effort.

Levi growled at that.

"Well you are!" Eren insisted as he slowly began to move to the ladder. "No more chocolate for you, fatass. God only knows how we're going to make it down this ladder without dying."

He got a louder growl for that and a nip to the ear that hurt enough to make him yelp.

They finally settled on a method of Eren sitting down on the steps and scooting down slowly on his butt, Levi even helping to push them down. In all honesty, the sights he was now seeing were quite fascinating to him, as the mermaid never got to leave the tank except to go down to the lab for exams, and he was usually sedated for those. When he was seated in the wheelchair waiting for him at the bottom of the ladder, he told Eren as much, and added, _"This is the first time I've been conscious outside of the tank. I've never seen all this stuff before."_

Eren grinned down at him as he situated himself behind the chair. "Well, you're in for a real treat." As he began to push, he said, "I'll show you the route I take through the aquarium to your tank before we go down to the lab then, shall I?"

Levi nodded eagerly, before yipping as Eren ran over his tail with the wheels. "Sorry, sorry. Lift your tail up, don't let it drag on the ground. Can you tuck it under you at all? Yeah, like that, perfect."

With that, they were on their way, the boy wheeling him past the tank and down the hall he ran down every day, his footsteps echoing on the concrete floor. It was wet in a few places of course, as usual, wet floor signs put up everywhere, and honestly Eren was surprised he hadn't slipped and fell yet.

"And there's the food room," he pointed towards their left, which caused Levi to glance in that direction towards the closed wooden door. "That's where I get all your fish from. And everyone else's food too, for the most part. There's all sorts of binders full of information on what each animal in the park should be fed. So, for example, I know you're only supposed to get five fish per meal, even though you like to weasel eight out of me, as well as all the snacks I bring you. If you're not careful I'm going to start confusing you for a gumball on a stick."

Levi tried to wrench himself around in his seat to give Eren a smack, but as it stood, he couldn't exactly do much. The boy even had the balls to duck out of his reach when he swung at him. So, all Levi could do was give him his nastiest glare and sign, _"You fucking brat."_

Eren snorted a laugh, and said, "I should have never taught you how to swear." Every other word when Levi was mad was a swear anymore, and he had taken to them like, well…a fish to water.

" _You're so fucking dead when all of this is over. I dare you to put one toe in my tank when we get back, see what happens."_

"Oh stop it, you know you love me."

Levi growled at him and bared his teeth, but the corners of his lips were curled up in a cheeky smile. Yes, he did, although the boy certainly like to test that love when he threatened to take away his snacks.

They made it to the lab in no time, however, this was a different lab than the one Eren usually worked in. This was actually a room adjacent to the vet's office, and they were fortunate enough to have many state of the art machines set up in there, including the MRI machine. Luckily, it didn't just serve to help living animals get well again. More often than not, the scientists there would send the bodies or brains or whatever body part they wanted to of deceased animals through the machine as well. It was even common for them to look at the insides of fossils in this way too, and Eren kept secretly hoping he'd get to see that happen before his internship was over.

When they entered the room, Hanji was already standing there, Moblit not present due to the fact that he had the day off that day. Instead, there was another woman there talking quietly with her that oddly enough Eren recognized, even though she didn't work at the aquarium.

"Nanaba," he said, surprised. "Hey there! What are you doing here?"

"Ah, so you two know each other?" Hanji observed, looking between them.

Nanaba clarified, "I work at his dad's hospital, so we've run into each other a few times." She turned back to Eren and said with a smile, "Mike told me what you guys were planning to do today, and suggested I come down to help. He figured a nurse might be more useful than a vet in this case, though the vet is around if we need her."

That made sense, Eren figured. He had worried how they were going to treat this, since Levi was essentially half human in his anatomy. This seemed like a good compromise. However, one thing did confuse him. "Wait, how do you know Mike?"

She laughed, "He's my husband, Eren."

"No way, _that_ Mike?" Eren gasped. "Wow, small world."

Levi meanwhile was listening to the whole exchange curiously, all the while glancing around at all the odd, huge machines and wondering which one they'd be sticking him in. He definitely wasn't keen on having his brain looked at, though Eren had assured him over and over again that it wouldn't hurt, that they wouldn't actually be breaking his head open to look at it. Everything looked quite scary though, and he found himself shifting uncomfortably in his seat, which drew the attention on him.

"Oh, sorry," the boy apologized, "Uh, Nanaba, this is Levi."

She approached him slowly and purposefully, stopping once she was in front of the wheelchair and kneeling down. Levi eyed her uneasily at first, but a reassuring hand on his shoulder from Eren made him relax the smallest bit before she greeted him with, "Hello, lovey. It's nice to meet you. You were right, Hanji."

"Right about what?" Eren asked.

"Well, Hanji was telling me that you often came to her gushing about how cute Levi was, and he certainly is. Look at those pretty eyes of his! So big and blue."

"Hanji!" Eren hissed, his cheeks turning pink. Hanji just grinned at him like a cat with feathers stuck between its teeth.

"Well he is!" the scientist insisted, "I told her he purrs like a puma for you and is worse than a mother around you too. How can you not find that adorable?"

Eren opened his mouth again to retaliate, but when he looked down briefly at Levi to gauge his reaction, the words died on his tongue. He looked so shy, but pleased, a smile on his lips and pink in his cheeks as he refused to meet the eyes of anyone in the room. His expression was almost dreamy, and the boy wondered what was going through his head right at that moment. But he didn't have time to dwell on it for long.

"Well anyway, how are we going to do this?" he wondered, "I've already promised him it wouldn't hurt. Don't make me go back on my words."

"Oh relax, Eren, we're not going to hurt your precious kitten," Hanji teased, "The worst pain he'll feel is a needle prick and maybe a bit more embarrassment, but that's all."

Levi was quickly snapped out of his reverie, and he glanced from her to Eren worriedly.

"Wait, what about needles?" he asked on the mermaid's behalf.

Nanaba explained patiently, "It's to administer the contrast solution, so it's easier to see the active areas in his brain during the test. It won't take long to administer, and the actual test itself will only last about thirty minutes."

Levi still looked dubious, curling in on himself, a displeased growl rumbling in his throat, but Eren knew that he was just covering up how nervous he was. Hanji tried to reassure him with, "Aw, sweetie, it'll be so quick you won't even feel it. You've been pricked by a needle here before, this will be no different."

Levi's growling became louder, and when she and Nanaba tried to step closer to him, he bared his teeth warningly. Eren sighed, trying to think about how he could help, before his face lit up with an idea. "Wait, how about I get the test done too? I can go first and show Levi what's going to happen."

Nanaba mulled over it for a moment and decided, "Sure, alright. I should have enough solution for the both of you."

Hanji added, "Actually, this works out great! Now we'll have a human brain to compare side by side with Levi's. Oh this is so exciting! Hurry up Eren!"

Eren snorted and did as he was told, walking over to a table and pulling Levi over with him, before he sat down on it and held out his arm. When Nanaba pulled out the alcohol swab and rubbed his arm, Levi scrunched up his nose, whining at the awful smell and the fuzzy memories it invoked. With his free hand, he rubbed the backs of his fingers across Levi's cheek, and assured him, "Aw kid, it's okay, it's not going to hurt me. I'm too tough."

The mermaid eyed him dubiously, and when Nanaba stuck the needle into the crook of his arm and Eren pressed his lips together very tightly, Levi began whining again, though for himself or for Eren, no one was sure. After a moment of adjustment, the boy hastily reassured him, stroking his fingers through his hair a few times and whispering for his ears only, "Don't worry about it. I've gone through real pain, remember?"

Levi stiffened at the reminder, but resisted the urge to lean up and hug Eren close; any time he brought up that time in his life or the horrible man who had done it all to him, Levi's protective desires over the boy always flared, sometimes out of his control. Hanji was right, he really was worse than a mother around Eren.

When the bag of solution was empty, Nanaba instructed Levi to hold out his arm as well, and he did so reluctantly, looking away and scrunching up his face in anticipation for the pain. However, he didn't growl, or show any signs of aggression; he simply kept his eyes on Eren, and for that the boy was very proud of him.

"Good job," he praised, "You're doing wonderful, kid."

Levi's stomach went warm and fluttery at those words, even more so when he saw the pride reflected in Eren's eyes. In fact, so focused was he on him that he only half-noticed the needle when it pricked his arm. He turned his head towards Nanaba, and when she saw his half-focused expression, she chuckled.

"Alright, now you're all set," she said, "While we wait for that to finish, Eren, let's load you into the tube. Make sure you take off any and all metal that you might have on you and then lay down on the tray."

"Okay." He did as he was told, unhooking his necklace from around his neck and placing it in Levi's palm. "Hold onto this for me?"

Of course, he received a nod in reply, and Levi's grip on the stone tightened. Almost immediately, the energies radiating from the stone began to soothe him, and his shoulders slumped slightly, even as he watched Eren walk away from him and settle himself on his back on the sliding shelf that would ultimately pull him inside the tube.

"Alright Eren, I'm going to be talking to you through the microphone inside the tube there," Hanji told him, walking over to stand beside him, "I'm going to be guiding you through a series of prompts where I'm going to ask you to think about certain things and we're going to see the different ways your brain reacts. Then when it's Levi's turn we're going to ask him the same things. Sound good?"

"Aye aye captain," he said with a grin.

And with that, Hanji started up the machine, and Levi watched as Eren was slowly pulled in. The boy gave him a thumbs up before his head and torso disappeared from view but it did nothing to ease Levi's nerves. Even when everything went still for a moment, there was a series of loud bangs made by the machine that made him jump in his seat, which made Hanji and Nanaba cluck sympathetically.

"Aw, sweetie, here, come with us into the back room," Hanji soothed, "We'll wipe you down with a wet towel because I'm sure you're feeling pretty dry by now and you can see what we're going to do with Eren. It's going to be alright, I promise."

Levi made a low sound of doubt in his throat, but had no choice except to trust them as they wheeled him into said room, where, once he got settled, Nanaba set to wiping him down with said damp towel, which he had to admit made him feel slightly less anxious. But what truly soothed him is when Hanji began speaking with Eren through her microphone.

"Can you hear me, Eren?" she asked.

"Yup, I can hear you just fine," he answered, and Levi breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're not nervous in there in at all?"

"Nope. I feel like I'm in a space ship."

"Alright then, we're going to start. I'm going to keep talking to you so we can see what part of your brain lights up when you're focusing on using language."

"Ah good," Eren said, "My time has come. My parents always said that I don't know how to shut up. What do you want me to talk about?"

"Well, talk to Levi here," she suggested, "He's having a mini panic attack now that he can't see you anymore."

Levi sneezed with displeasure and grunted lowly, a clear sound of denial that Hanji might have believed if the mermaid wasn't shaking slightly. They heard Eren snort over the speaker.

"Aw, baby, missing me already?" he teased Levi.

Levi blushed very hard at both the pet name and the implication, and the resulting sound he made was embarrassing to say the least. Like a drowning bear, almost. It only made Eren laugh harder.

"Don't worry, I miss you too. Already miss your cute little face which I'm sure is all scrunched up right now."

The mermaid quickly smoothed out his expression as he realized that his face was indeed as Eren described it. He made another displeased noise, wishing he could tell Eren exactly what he was thinking. That brat sounded entirely too pleased with himself.

"Listen to you, grouch. I'm going to pinch your cheeks into a smile when I get out of here."

Levi groaned and sunk into his chair, much to the amusement of Hanji and Nanaba.

They continued to banter back and forth for a bit, until Hanji deemed they were finished with that phase and Levi was certain his face would never regain its normal color. If he didn't know better, he could have sworn Eren had been flirting with him. Calling him cute, calling him cute names, saying he missed him. But no, he was being ridiculous. He was just doing as Hanji asked, and he might have been these ridiculous things because he had been nervous. On the one hand, it had given him something to focus on, as he didn't even really notice Nanaba taking the needle out when the contrast solution was finished being administered. On the other hand, well…

Either way, after that, Hanji prompted Eren for a few further tests. She asked him to think about something that made him feel happy, sad, angry, and asked him to solve a few math problems. At the end of thirty minutes, he finally exited the MRI machine, eyes bright, and sauntered over to Levi confidently.

"See?" he said, "Nothing to it. You'll be fine."

He ruffled Levi's hair, to which Levi just offered a low warble in return, peaking at Eren from under the fringe of his hair.

Eren helped to wet Levi down, before he lifted him up onto the table with Hanji's help. Levi handed Eren his necklace back, laid on his back obediently, and Eren offered him one last smile, and repeated, "Now, just relax. Close your eyes even if you want, and everything will be fine," before Hanji started up the MRI machine again, and Levi was slowly sucked in.

000

The results were ready the next day, results that Eren and Hanji were poring over in the same lab. They looked like a perfect reflection of each other, the same looks of concentration etched on their faces as they sat next to each other and compared Eren's results to Levi's.

"This is so cool," Eren observed, "It looks like terms of emotions, the same areas of Levi's brain are active that a human's would be. But when it comes to sound and language interpretation, there's a lot more going on, way more than a human brain would be able to process."

"The sound part doesn't surprise me," Hanji said, "Whales and dolphins and many other social marine creatures have a large area in their brain dedicated to sound interpretation."

"But look how much red and yellow there is compared to my brain scan," Eren pointed out, "It's like a fifth of his brain exists just to learn languages."

"Well, from what you've told me about their mating cycle, that would make sense. If they can't communicate with their mates or other people around them, their true identities might be found out and they might be killed. This would help them blend in."

"I wonder…" the boy muttered to himself, "I know when humans are born, their brain is full of all the neural connections they'll need to learn any language and all of the particular phonemes that come with it. But as time goes on, those connections are pruned until only the neural connections for learning and speaking English or German or Japanese will remain, and that's why and how we have accents and can only hear phonemes for our specific language. I wonder if in the case of mermaids, that pruning never happened? What if all of those neural connections are still there?"

"That…actually makes a lot of sense, based on what we're seeing," Hanji responded, "I mean, someday they only way we'll know for sure is if we study a section of mermaid brain under a microscope, but yeah, I think we can tentatively say that for now."

They stared at the image for a moment more, before Eren observed, "Hey, look at the structure of his inner ear. That's it right there, isn't it?"

He pointed to a faint shape near his brain that happened to show up on the scan, and Hanji agreed, "Yes. What about it?"

"Well, it looks just like mine, except it's super small. I mean, I expected it to be small, but I guess I thought it might look more like a dolphin's? That's really cool."

The inner ears in all marine creatures were greatly reduced. The reason for this was because they're what helped to regulate a creature's balance. This structure was larger and more sensitive in land creatures whose heads don't move around as much or as suddenly. More specifically, the fluid in the cochlea was what was responsible for sending messages to the creature's brain as to where their head is in space, and if this fluid is jostled around too quickly, such as when someone is tumbling down a hill, the messages can get scrambled and this is what can make someone dizzy. When certain mammals evolved to live in the water, this structure had to shrink because water is such a weightless environment .It's why whales and seals can twist and turn and roll in the water without getting dizzy and a human cannot. Apparently, mermaids also had this adaptation. However, it didn't mean that Levi fully understood why he could do several spins in the water at once with no problem and Eren could only do one or two before he had to stop.

Just then, Hanji minimized out of that screen, and pulled a flash drive out of her pocket that she plugged in, explaining as it loaded, "Eren, after you left yesterday, I also got Levi to give me a sperm sample."

Eren just stared at her a moment, wide-eyed. "You what? How on Earth- Hanji why would you"-

After all, Hanji knew about the abuse Levi had endured at Trost because Eren had told her. However, she hastily reassured him, "It was voluntary, I promise. I just asked him if he could give me one and told him he didn't have to if he didn't want to, and when he said he would, I left him alone for an hour and even turned off the hydrophones in his tank. He didn't seem too uncomfortable when he handed me the vial afterwards. A little embarrassed but nothing too horrible."

Eren was relieved at hearing that, but he had to ask the question, "Why did you ask him for a sample in the first place?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she grinned up at him, and then turned back to the screen, clicking on various files, "After you told me that Levi couldn't get the female mermaids pregnant at the park, I was curious as to why. He seems healthy to me, and physicals before revealed he has all the proper anatomy to do so. And the fact that he was able to give me a sperm sample means that it all works just fine. So this was what I found out after looking at it under the slide."

She pulled up a video she had recorded of the slide under the microscope which had been connected to the computer at the time. Interestingly enough, the sperm cells themselves looked close to human sperm with just enough differences that Eren could tell they belonged to a different species. However, one thing stood out to him immediately.

"There's like, only three sperm cells there," he said, "When you see slides of any other animal sperm samples, it's practically taking up the whole slide."

"Exactly," she replied, turning in the chair to look at him solemnly, her glasses reflecting the monitor's glow, "Looks like your boy is infertile. Actually, with how few actual sperm cells he's producing, he's practically sterile. It looks like it's mostly just seminal fluid with no substance. And look, the cells that are there are all deformed. Now, this is probably nature's way of making sure that nothing comes of a union between a mermaid and a merman. Perhaps the resulting pups come out deformed and either die before birth or soon after. It's to ensure that the mermaids keep mating with human men, because apparently the genetics of male and female mermaids are so incompatible that they can't even mate with each other."

This information just made Eren even angrier with Levi's old trainers. "And yet look what those people at the water park forced him to do anyway. Even if he didn't have any direct contact with the mermaids…and those poor mermaids too. They were molested just as bad. Who knows what happened to them. If they didn't become pregnant, they're stressed out for no reason. Or worse, if they do, they probably had miscarriages, and who knows how badly that messed them up psychologically. It suddenly makes more sense that they might have started engaging in the same self-destructive behavior that Levi did."

Hanji grew very silent for a minute, before she said quietly, "Actually, Eren, I heard that all three of those mermaids drowned themselves not long before we rescued Levi. Otherwise we would have brought them to Sina too. I guess…Levi is very lucky to be alive, isn't he?"

Eren's jaw dropped, and a feeling of anger came over him so strongly, that his jaw ached from how hard he was clenching his teeth together, and his nails began to pinch into his palms from how hard he was balling his hands into fists. He wanted to scream, he wanted to throw something, but he refrained.

He knew that feeling of despair all too well. And he was angry because he hated the thought that for even one moment, those beautiful mermaids had to feel the same things he used to.

And some days, still did.

000

Eren knew he was the biggest idiot on the planet for coming to the grocery store on the weekend, but what choice did he have? It was the only sliver of time he had available to get all of his crap for the week. It just happened to be on the busiest day of the week.

Not that he minded. He could be patient when he wanted to be. He didn't mind parking in the far reaches of the parking lot, as he felt that the exercise was good for him. He didn't even mind that there weren't that many shopping carts left for him to choose from. His mind was far away.

Because for some reason, anymore when he came here, he couldn't help but imagine what if Levi was here with him?

He smiled to himself at the thought. Eren could imagine him getting a big kick out of all of the people surrounding them, or see him trotting behind Eren like a puppy. Or wandering up and down aisles having to look at everything. Eren could imagine himself having to stop Levi from opening boxes so that he could look at what was inside, or watching as Levi picked up every single scented candle so that he could sniff it. Not that Eren wouldn't be right there candle-sniffing with him.

Eren threw things into his cart that he needed, as well as what was becoming his usual bag of chocolate for Levi and box of tea as well. He remembered how perplexed his mom had been at first when he came home with the tea, as no one in the house drank it, but all he had to say to her was, "It's a thing."

" _A Levi thing?"_

His shy smile had been response enough for her.

And now here he was, buying black and chamomile for the mermaid like the whipped little slave he was, smiling all the while. However, in this case, he didn't find himself at all minding getting things for Levi. Because Levi didn't ask for them (well okay, he did, but he always asked so sweetly and made the biggest puppy eyes that Eren couldn't help but give in), and Levi always tried to give him things in return. Like extra effort in their lessons, or the answers to questions Eren asked about his kind. And he expressed his gratitude whenever he could.

Unlike a certain someone he refused to acknowledge, even in his head.

Before he left the candy aisle, something caught his eye that made him light up. And after laughing to himself for a moment, he threw it into his cart, thinking about what Levi's reaction would be to getting a bag of Swedish fish. Eren could practically see him signing furiously now.

" _They're shaped like fish, but they don't taste like fish? What kind of human trickery bullshit is this? Why call them fish when they taste like sugar? They're misnamed, Eren! Just call them sugar fish. You have this and actual fish that you sell, don't humans get confused?"_

He snickered to himself. He couldn't wait to surprise Levi with these on Monday. However, Eren noticed that even if Levi didn't secretly like what he gave him, he still lit up and acted like Eren had given him the moon. It was so precious, and it made the boy's stomach feel all warm and his cheeks feel all warm and-

Wait, what?

It may have been because he looked up too quickly from his cart, but Eren could have sworn the person in the aisle ahead of him looked familiar.

The boy froze so suddenly that somebody behind him bumped into him, but he barely even noticed. Because his stomach had gone cold and his throat had tightened, and his heart had all but stopped beating. Abandoning his cart, he darted behind the end of the aisle and eyed the man on his phone. However, he only got a quick glance before he walked off and disappeared around the corner.

Eren stood there rooted to the spot for a moment, his heart in his throat and his breath coming quick and panicky in his ears. He decided right then that he had to just leave with what he had, and be hyperaware of his surroundings as he did so. He itched to call his dad or Mikasa, but he knew he couldn't. He wasn't even completely sure of what he saw, and he was too scared to investigate.

There was no way _he_ could be here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Just wanted to let you know that for the rest of the month, updates might be more spaced than usual because final paper/exam season is here, so I apologize in advance. That's the bad news. The good news is that I have an idea for a new fic that without giving too much away is Ereri but takes place in the late 1800s to early 1900s. I love reading period pieces but haven't really had the guts to try writing one because I'm terrified of historical inaccuracies, but I thought in the future, not sure when exactly, that I'd give it a shot. Is that something that you guys might be interested in? Let me know! Thanks again for reading, everyone! Btw, I think fans of a/b/o type universes will appreciate the next chapter lol.


	14. Let Me Drown In Your Honey, Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter, I'd highly recommend listening to Baptized by Daughtry for the first half, as that song was a huge inspiration for this fic, and if this were a movie, I can imagine that being the credits song, as well as the song that plays during a montage of the upcoming scene of Eren and Levi playing together. For the second half of the chapter, I'd recommend popping on Arwen's song, the Houses of Healing from the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, because for some reason that was the song that went through my head when I tried to imagine what song Levi would be humming. So there you go, enjoy!

It was a Saturday, so Levi wasn't expecting to see Eren. It was a sad fact of his reality that his boy had weekends off, leaving Levi feeling miserable and horridly bored without him there, but he never voiced this fact of course. He knew Eren needed a break.

So he was quite surprised when he heard his familiar footsteps entering his tank.

Elation replacing depression immediately and forcefully, Levi lit up brighter than a comet and shot up to the surface, guinea pig chirping all over the place when he saw Eren dressed in street clothes making his way towards him, the sounds sharp and loud to the point that they hurt the ears. Eren's face was split into a blinding grin that only grew impossibly wider when he saw Levi reaching for him.

"Hey kid," he greeted as he knelt down on the stone in front of him. Levi grabbed his upper arms and thrust his head under Eren's chin, nuzzling his neck hard with his nose. He immediately began purring so forcefully that his whole body vibrated, and yet he even managed a few happy mews and clicks beneath the loud outboard motor sound. Eren snorted and just held him closer.

"Aw, I'm happy to see you too," he said, pressing his cheek to the top of his head, "But it's not just me today."

Levi pulled away, but his purring didn't cease. He just gave Eren an expectant, trusting look, raising his eyebrows slightly in a bid for him to explain. Whatever it was, he didn't care as long as Eren was here. The boy looked behind him and Levi followed his gaze, watching as one, two, three, four more heads popped up over the edge of the ladder. His eyes widened when he realized he recognized two of them as Eren's parents. The other was a girl he didn't know, and the fourth was a dog leading Eren's mother by its leash. It was only when he saw the number of people visiting him did he cease his purring and grow a bit shy, keeping his lips tightly closed and his expression losing some of its excitement.

"Levi," he said, "this is my mom and dad, and Mikasa, my friend I told you about. And that's Fern." He pointed towards the dog, who upon seeing him began to wag her nub of a tail, and Carla let her pull her forward so Eren could pet her.

They all remained silent as they let the mermaid take them all in, his dark blue eyes flitting from one face to another. It was eventually Mikasa who broke the silence by whistling lowly and saying, "Wow, Eren was right. You're very pretty."

Those words made both Levi and Eren blush like mad and made Grisha start snickering at their expressions.

" _Thanks,"_ Levi replied, but he didn't look at her. Instead, he fixed his gaze on Carla, whose kind face made him feel more at ease, and when she saw him looking at her, she said, _"It's so good to see you again, sweetie. You've gotten so big since we last saw you!"_

Levi blinked at her, and then fixed a pointed look up at Eren before he said, _"I like your mom better than you. She's nice."_

Eren stared at him in shock, his mouth hanging open. "What? Why? What did I do?"

" _She's the only one who seems to think I grew any."_

"Well she's wrong," Eren said and signed at the same time so his mom could see, "A flea is bigger than you."

Carla rolled her eyes, and Levi's upper lip curled back to reveal his teeth, a growl rumbled in his chest, which caused Fern to start shaking slightly when she saw the display. Eren just shook his head and reassured her, "Aw, it's okay, Fern. He's just a kitten who thinks he's a bobcat."

He scratched behind one of Fern's ears, and then reached forward and tucked some of Levi's hair behind his, letting his nails drag just the slightly bit against his scalp, which stopped the growls so abruptly it was comical. Instead he went very still and his whole face turned red as red could be, even worse when Eren began scratching behind his ear like he was Fern. The boy tilted his head to the side worriedly, asking, "Are you feeling okay? You're awfully quiet all of a sudden."

His family was snickering at him behind him, and his dad pointed out, "Eren I think he's fine. More than fine."

Eren glanced back at his dad, but didn't cease scratching Levi's ear. This caused the mermaid to lean ever so slightly into his hand and a look of utter bliss to cross his feature parallel to the one Fern was making. "Are you sure? He looks like he's blue screening over here."

They all looked at each other knowingly, but didn't say a word. Eren raised an eyebrow, a look of confusion settling over his face, wondering why they all looked like they were in on some big secret. But he felt it best not to ask, deciding he didn't want to know.

At that moment, Fern walked past his hand, curious now about the odd creature in the water. Eren withdrew his hand from Levi as well, much to the mermaid's disappointment. However, it didn't last as he watched the dog stretch her nose forward cautiously, reaching for him before backing away several times, her body rigid. Levi tilted his head. It had been a very long time since he had seen a dog, but he remembered they were generally friendly creatures always accompanying humans on their boats and walking beside them on land. He remembered Eren telling him about this dog too, saying it helped his mom in that she heard things for her. He held out a hand, and Fern leaned forward, tentatively touching it with her nose. Once she affirmed his scent, she cautiously licked his fingers. Levi watched her with utter fascination, and scratched under her chin like he had seen Eren do. Once he did that, Eren noted with glee that Fern's nub of a tail began to wag, followed by the rest of her butt. His family "aww"-ed when Fern laid down on the stone and crawled closer to Levi so he could scratch her better.

"That is adorable," Mikasa cooed.

"I feel like I'm going to puke a rainbow," Eren said with a grin when Fern leaned forward and licked Levi's nose, to which Levi scrunched up his face in response. That didn't stop Fern from proceeding to lick his whole face though, starting with his lips and moving to his cheeks.

" _What's it doing?"_ Levi wanted to know, his eyes still squeezed shut. _"It tickles."_ Eren snorted.

"Don't worry," he answered, "it just means she likes you."

" _By covering me in her saliva? How filthy."_

Seeing Levi's hands moving, Fern bent her neck so that she could lick those too, preventing Levi from saying anything else, and making his mom laugh in the background, as that had sometimes happened to her with Fern as well. Levi just sighed and petted her some more, which only prompted her to start licking his arm.

"Sorry Carla, looks like Fern has a new best friend now," Grisha told her.

Eren meanwhile had started to pet Fern as well, scratching her back while Levi continued to scratch under her chin until she started to kick her back leg. The motion startled Levi while Eren just laughed and asked him if he scratched under Levi's chin would he do the same thing, to which Levi replied _, "You wish."_

After a moment, Mikasa finally broke them moment with, "So Eren, you promised me a magical ass swim with a mermaid today. You ready to deliver or are you two going to keep flirting?"

Eren swung his head around, spluttering indignantly, his face turning bright red. Levi was in similar shape, though he went awfully quiet instead, averting his eyes and letting them look anywhere but at Eren. Fern just looked confused as to why no one was petting her anymore, and sensing the boy's distress, she placed her front paws on his chest, trying to lick his face, but this effectively knocked him over.

After that, it was a flurry of Eren pulling off his shirt while Mikasa stripped beside him to reveal her swimsuit underneath her clothes. And upon seeing those, Levi began to click and squeal excitedly. He watched as Eren and Mikasa dove into the water with him, and when he saw them surface, he swam over to join them.

"So Levi," Mikasa said as she treaded water, "Eren says you're a really fast swimmer. Want to race me? I had the fastest times on my swim team in high school on average."

Levi just raised his eyebrows at her and fixed her with a look that replied without words, _You are so on._

Eren rolled his eyes at both of them and just muttered, "You're an idiot for thinking you can swim faster than a mermaid."

The morning continued on like that, Mikasa racing Levi over and over again (and losing each time of course), but she refused to give up. Eventually when she saw it was hopeless she asked Levi to give her pointers within reason as to how to improve her speed, and by the end of an hour or so she did seem to improve marginally, Eren even participating a few times, but of course always falling way behind the both of them. Levi did however offer to help him with his deep dives and practicing his technique on holding his breath for longer.

When they tired of the serious stuff, they invited Fern to hop into the water, which she did with an excited bark, taking a flying leap off the end of the stone pathway. Carla and Grisha took turns throwing her ball for her, even giving it to Levi when he parked himself on the stone to throw. His eyes shone with delight watching Fern jump in again and again as he threw the ball, and he even learned the technique of "false throws," snorting when he saw Fern start to go after the ball and then halt when she realized that it hadn't been thrown. When she swam in the water, Levi swam under her and watched her legs kick, fascinated by the swimming style.

They broke only for lunch, and then it was back to the playing, the three of them acting like stupid, energetic children while Eren's parents watched. For Levi, it was like the clock had been turned back thirteen years, especially when Mikasa eventually got tired enough to just sit and watch them from the rocks while Eren and Levi continued playing. For the most part, when they were in the water together, they had been focused on something work related; this was the first time the two of them could just be carefree and act as silly as they wanted. Eren kept doing cannonballs into the water, the water droplets shimmering in the sun when he landed. When he swam on his back, Levi would swim beneath him, occasionally coming up just enough so that he could rub his back against Eren's before diving back down again. They splashed each other, Levi creating huge tidal waves with his tail. They dunked each other as well, Levi even managing to pick up Eren with his abnormal strength a few times and throw him a few feet away into the water. Eren of course would retaliate by coming up beneath him like a shark and pulling him under by his tail. Their laughter echoed around him until all he could hear was their child selves, could feel his child self rising to the surface, feel his innocence, his purity, his spring fresh love for Eren blossoming even back then. He would look back on this day and add it to the sadly short list of one of the greatest days of his life.

If he could, he'd drown himself in it without a single wish to surface with Eren's smile as his sun, warming him.

They decided to go when the sunk began to sink in the sky, Eren's parents leaving first, saying they'd wait for the kids in the car, telling the mermaid how lovely it was to see him again. Levi pet Fern one last time, handing her the ball she had brought. She took it in her mouth, wagging her nub happily, before following them out of the tank. Mikasa pat Eren on the head as he knelt down at the edge of the stone, Levi floating in the water in front of him.

"I'll be waiting at the bottom of the stairs, don't take too long," she advised him.

He playfully swatted her hand away. "Yes mother, I'll be right down."

She left with a smirk, descending down the stairs, both of them listening to the clank of her footsteps as she did so, before Eren turned back to Levi.

" _Have I mentioned how pretty the picture you have on your back is?"_ Levi blurted suddenly.

"Um, no?" Eren laughed. "But thank you."

Levi shrugged. _"Well it is. Do most humans have pictures like that on their bodies?"_

"Many do, but not all of them. We pay to have a needle put them there."

The mermaid shuddered. _"Sounds horrendous. You're mad, every one of you."_

Eren breathed a laugh through his nose. Levi tucked some hair behind his own ear, before saying, _"I'm glad you all came to visit me today. I had fun."_

The boy replied, "Me too. Maybe we'll have to do it again sometime. When I'm not too busy. I feel bad knowing you're all by yourself here."

Levi just shook his head, a fond smile on his face. He looked Eren in the eye, an odd warmth bleeding into his chest. He hesitated, before he leaned up and pressed their foreheads together, chuffing softly. After they pulled back, Eren bid him goodbye, saying that he'd be back on Monday, leaving Levi squirming in place.

He had come this close to kissing Eren right then. He was proud of himself for not doing it, and then horrified that he almost had. Eren would never speak to him again, he was sure of it. Levi placed his hand over his mouth, as if he could somehow prevent himself from ever kissing Eren by doing so. If he lost his boy…

No. He wouldn't let that happen. He would just force himself to be more careful, that was all. He was more than capable of controlling himself.

He hoped.

000

The moment Eren stepped out his car in the parking lot a couple days later, he knew something wasn't right.

There were far fewer cars in the lot than normal, for one thing. For another, no sooner had he shut his car door, than Hanji was pushing through the front doors of the rescue center and jogging towards him, her white coat billowing out behind her. He started to move towards her, to meet her half way, but she stopped him with, "No Eren, stay right where you are."

Eren halted, thoroughly confused and more than a little worried. Once she reached him, he asked, "Where is everyone? Is there a holiday no one told me about or something?"

"

We sent most of them home," she explained, catching her breath.

"What's going on?" He paused, then his eyes widened as an alarming thought occurred to him. "Wait, is it something to do with Levi?"

She answered yes, he was, but no sooner was the word out of Hanji's mouth than Eren was gripping her shoulders and demanding anxiously, "Is he okay? Tell me!"

"Eren, Eren, easy," Hanji reassured him, patting his shoulder, "He's okay. I think. Listen, we think Levi has, um, kinda gone into season. I think. I don't know how else to explain it. You said that mermaids tend to go into season around summer and fall though, yeah? But Moblit and I came in this morning, and we heard him singing, and all of the men that were already at the aquarium were going towards his tank like they were being pulled by a magnet. Even Moblit. I had to get him some earplugs, rally the female staff and then we had to send them all home. So right now it's just the women that are here today. I've been meeting all the men at the door and telling them to go home until Levi's heat is done."

Eren blinked at her for a moment, letting her words sink in, before he found himself asking, "Has he ever done this before?"

Hanji shook her head. "Not here, no. We got him this past winter."

"Then you've never had a chance to observe this kind of behavior."

"No, we haven't. I was planning on it when I was sure no one else was going to come in, though."

Eren went quiet for a moment, straining his ears and, yup, he thought he could barely pick up traces of a faint song in the distance, but he wasn't sure. "He sure is loud," he observed, "I think I can hear him out here."

Hanji breathed out a laugh. "Well, normally he'd be trying to attract the attention of a passing man in the middle of the ocean, or along a shore. He'd have to be loud."

The boy became silent again, trying to think. Then again, he must not have been thinking when he suggested, "What if I stayed instead?"

Her eyes widened, and only grew wider when he explained, "I want to observe his behavior too. I might be the perfect candidate to do it too, since we're so close. I mean, I've always been curious as to what it feels like to be under the influence of a mermaid's song."

 _What am I saying?_ he thought to himself, _Won't it be like what Reiner did to you? You fell for his "song" too. What if I panic when I lose that control again? Am I strong enough to do it?_

"Eren"- Hanji tried to say, but he interrupted her.

"No, how can I call myself a biologist who studies mermaids if I can't even describe to others what it's like to be under the influence of their song? I can do this. Besides, you'll be there to help me, right? And I know Levi would never hurt me, no matter what. Please Hanji."

She sighed heavily, looking down at the pavement. However, when she lifted her eyes, there was a psychotic gleam to them, and she said, "Eren, you suicidal bastard. Let's get your ass in that tank."

He lit up bright as can be. "For science?"

"For science, motherfucker."

With that, they raced inside the aquarium, Eren taking his head phones out of his pocket and stuffing them in his ears. "Head up to Levi's tank, but _don't_ take those out until you see me and whoever I can get to come up with me, you understand?"

Eren nodded. "Roger."

He took the familiar route, turning his music on as loud as he could to drown out Levi's song, which was becoming louder the closer he became. When he was waiting at the end of the hallway, he could practically feel the singing vibrating through his body, and it made him curious. Despite the danger, he was excited to hear what a mermaid's song would sound like, and what it would do to him. He was nervous sure, but he talked himself through it. Levi would never hurt him, and Hanji would make sure no harm would come to him. It was as simple as that.

When she finally came back with one of the staff members Eren recognized as the girl who took care of the otters, Sasha, Hanji reached for his ipod and turned the music down slightly, yelling, "Alright, you can take out your earbuds now! Just please be careful, Eren!"

He gave her a thumbs up, took a deep breath, turned off his music and removed his ear buds.

When he did, Levi's song seemed to hit him like a freight train. His first thought was that it was everything the old sailor's accounts had said: haunting, beautiful, terrifying, and enchanting. There were no words to it of course; it was just a melody. He would switch from humming, to opening his mouth and singing that way, a continuous blend of "ohs" and "ahs." But hearing this otherworldly sound coming from Levi, one he had known to produce much more animalistic sounds, to hear him sound so very _human_ as he sang…it was unnerving. But he didn't feel uneasy at all. For after he got over his initial observations, Eren realized that he wanted to physically see Levi, had to see him, all of a sudden. Hanji and Sasha would make note later that the way his eyes focused on that ladder and he seemed to forget almost everything around him, that it looked like he was being pulled in Levi's direction.

Like his song was calling him.

And it was, wasn't it? A mermaid's song was a call to every male within listening distance, enticing them closer. And it was working its charms on Eren, drawing him up those stairs and into the tank, to be greeted with a sight right out of a painting. There was Levi, sitting upon one of his rocks, a dreamy, faraway look on his face. And it was then that Eren realized that it wasn't just the song meant to draw him in, but Levi himself as well. He didn't look…different per se, but he also did. His tail was no longer dark grey, but flushed a deep blue, as dark as the deep parts of a lagoon. His upper body was flushed as well, but in a way that the normally green shading on his skin had faded to make way for a pink blush. His lips had become redder as well, and even from here, Eren could smell an interesting scent coming from Levi. It wasn't the usual fish smell; it was something cleaner, sweeter, something thick like honey, and it beckoned him forward to come drown in it.

Levi perked right up when he saw who had come into his tank, his eyes shining huge and bright. But he didn't greet Eren with his usual trills and squeaks. Instead, something deep inside him insisted that he sing more, sing sweeter. Here was the boy he had been hoping to draw in all along. True, some of the other human men had come by his tank drawn in by his song, and his instincts had been pleased by their presence, but Levi himself had not been, halting his singing so that they might leave. So, Levi's singing changed in pitch, becoming slower, more sultry, a metaphorical finger beckoning Eren closer. So the boy did, Hanji and Sasha watching him closely, though keeping their distance in case they interrupted.

Eren for his part was completely aware of everything that was happening, but it was almost like he had had too much to drink. He wasn't afraid of what was going on; he felt pleasantly relaxed and sleepy, Levi's voice and face all that seemed to matter right now. That song was commanding him to stand in front of the mermaid, so Eren obeyed. It told him to kneel down, that he didn't have anything to worry about, and this, combined with the fact that this was _Levi_ and that he looked more beautiful than Eren had ever seen him…

…Where had that thought come from?

"Oh here we go," Hanji nudged Sasha with her elbow, "And all the security cameras are running?"

"They should be," Sasha confirmed, resisting the urge to step away from the crazy scientist.

"Good. I don't want to miss a minute of this. The first recorded footage of the mermaid seduction ritual! God someone pinch me."

By the end of her sentence, she was all but drooling, and this time Sasha did take a minute step away from her.

But Eren and Levi heard none of what she said, so caught up in each other that it was like they weren't even there. Levi was cupping Eren's cheeks, rubbing his thumbs under his eyes tenderly. Internally, he was crowing with joy that his song was successful in bringing his boy to him. But that was only half the battle. His instincts were telling him now that he had his intended mate in his grasp, it was time to move onto the second phase.

 _Kiss him, kiss him,_ a voice in his head seemed to be chanting, and Levi knew he could if he wanted to. Eren was completely under his spell, pliable and vulnerable. Levi kept humming his song as he reached up and brushed some of Eren's hair out of his eyes. Kissing him sounded like the most wondrous idea. And yet…he promised himself he wouldn't. But he could. Had to. He had him right here, he should-no. Shouldn't.

Levi halted his song, and dipped his head, wracked with indecision. Instinct fought logic, until he didn't know what to do anymore. Every cell in his body was screaming at him to kiss Eren, kiss him so that he could turn him human. Even if his mother hadn't told him the purpose of it, the desire would still be there as naturally as the breath in his lungs. His body would know what to do even if he didn't understand why he had to. And it was hard to fight against something so ingrained. So, he leaned forward, stretching his neck upward….

And then stopped. No, this was _Eren._ He couldn't do that to him, and yet his instincts were screaming at him to kiss him _somewhere._ So after a moment's thought, he did. He leaned down, and instead of kissing Eren on the lips, he aimed for his neck. He brushed his lips against his pulse point, before he lightly scraped it with his teeth, and then gave a little cat lick to the patch of skin. To his relief, he felt Eren shiver and heard him sigh, and Levi took that as a sign that it was okay to keep going.

But instead of kissing him again immediately, Levi leaned up and rubbed the side of his face against Eren's, crooning and purring softly, his honey sweet scent rising up and settling over the both of them in a thick cloud. Eren's eyes were blown dark, and Levi's now hypersensitive nose could detect something musky and…very virile in Eren's scent. Something _interested._ Potent. He was focused on Levi and only Levi, like every human had vanished off the face of the Earth leaving only the two of them. Eren for his part felt so warm, so wonderfully out of it and dreamy. So caught up in Levi's world, that if the mermaid ordered him to leap into the tank right now and drown himself, he'd do it with a smile on his face.

And yet, even knowing on some level that the mermaid had that power over him, he wasn't afraid. On the contrary, he felt like he could conquer the world. He could do anything, as long as Levi was here with him. That was what his song promised. Safety, comfort…

…and love.

Love?

Eren shivered, a twinge of fear cutting through the soft haze. But of what, he didn't know. Or at least, he didn't have the desire to figure it out now. Now, there was only Levi. Levi brushing his lips delicately across his face, as if Eren was made of glass. Across his cheeks, pausing to press more firmly against his forehead, against his eyelids, and against the tip of his nose. And then dipping again to press firmer kisses against his neck. Eren shivered again, and without his consent, his neck arched into the treatment ever so slightly, one hand coming up to lightly grip Levi's upper arm.

Levi's heart was pounding, and he was sure his face had flushed a deep red, Eren's favorable reactions in combination with his instincts drowning out reason. If he had been in his right mind, he definitely wouldn't be doing this, wouldn't be travelling lower to brush his tongue over Eren's prominent, delectable collar bones, wouldn't be caressing his shoulders or trying to pull him closer.

Without warning, and to his utter shock, he felt Eren's hands clasp the sides of his head, and gently lift it up and away from his chest. However, he didn't let go when he met Levi's eyes. Instead, he stared deeply into them for a minute, a look so tender and longing coming into his expression that it made Levi's heart ache. For it was everything he had ever wanted to see in Eren, to see that desperate love Levi held for him reflected back at him, but in the same breath, grief stung his throat. For he knew it wasn't real, that it would never be real. This was just Levi's spell bringing it out of him, and that after this he'd probably be so repulsed that he'd never want to see Levi again.

But for now, Eren was right here, and for a precious moment, with how tender his touch was, with how softly he stroked his cheeks with his thumbs, Levi allowed himself to fall into his own dream; that Eren did love him back at last. That the thing he wanted the most was coming true.

"You're beautiful," he heard Eren whisper, "so beautiful."

Levi froze at those words, his heart stopping completely. Eren's face was so close now, barely a breath away, and everything in him was shouting at him to kiss him. So, he began to lean forward, eyes fluttering shut.

However, a moment later, he heard the clattering of footsteps, and suddenly there was only empty air in front of him, Eren being wrenched out of his grasp. He looked up helplessly to see that Hanji and Sasha were dragging him away.

"Sorry Levi," Hanji apologized, "But I think that's enough. We'll give him back when you're season ends, yeah?"

Levi expected to feel angry at their actions, but instead, he shocked himself when his first reaction was despair. Harsh, abrupt despair. As Eren got further away, he found himself shrieking, tears springing to his eyes. He reached a hand towards him, crying Eren's name in his own language. They couldn't be taking his mate away! Why would they do that?

But he knew. Of course he knew. And he also knew that this would most likely be the last time Eren would ever want to be this close to him once he came to his senses. Levi's tears flowed down his cheeks, and he placed a hand over his mouth, trying to stop himself from crying out for Eren again.

He could still feel the warmth of his hands against his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I am so sorry this is so late, but here I am at long last! I'll be free from school for a bit, and I'll write as much as I can in that time. Thanks so much for sticking with me!


	15. Come To Life, Open Mind

This was the worst the texts had ever been.

It was as if the texts Eren had been receiving before were all practice for this point, because they had now reached a fever pitch. Before they had been just vague threats. Now, he was receiving both chillingly specific texts and angry voicemails from his ex, and they were confirming both what he had suspected for a bit now and his worst fears. Reiner was here, having travelled across the country. He had sent Eren pictures of his plane ticket showing that he was bound his state, and had even taken pictures of the airport that Eren lived right around the corner from, captioning them with, "Can't wait to see you again! I've missed you!" He even received a picture of the outside of his house captioned with, "I liked your house when it was red better."

Eren was in full panic mode constantly now. He was always looking over his shoulder when he went out, even when he was with his friends. He was terrified to go anywhere at all, actually, and all of the stress had resulted in regular panic attacks that were so severe and frequent that he had called in sick to the aquarium for the past couple of days, and told his parents that the stress was from school work. He just couldn't bear to tell them the truth.

But he knew that staying at home might not protect him. Who knew if Reiner would bust down the door, and if he did, what would he do to all of them? His mother wouldn't be able to fend him off, his dad was usually out of the house, and Eren, though he was strong, wasn't as big or strong as Reiner was. And if he came with a weapon-

Eren would have to cut himself off at that point before his thoughts spiraled out of control. They had been doing that so often now that he forgot what it was like to have an empty mind. Or a full stomach, for that matter. It had no room for food, since it was so full of nerves, he hardly ate anything anymore, and after a week of this crash diet, he was sure he had already lost some weight.

To make things even worse, he hadn't seen Levi since had been in the tank with him when he had gone into season, and that had been over a week ago.

He had gone back to the aquarium the next day, but he couldn't bear to go in and see Levi so soon. He remembered everything that had happened, and he didn't think it would be wise. That didn't stop him from feeling guilty though, even more so when Hanji told him that Levi's singing had seemed to reach a haunting level of desperation after they had taken Eren away, growing louder, more frantic, as if trying to lure Eren back. He had sung for hours afterwards, until he finally seemed to give up when the sun set, and slunk back under the water. Ever since, Eren had been avoiding him like a coward, and Hanji had had to go and feed him his meals again, understanding Eren's need for distance.

Eren didn't even know why he was so afraid to see Levi again. The closest he could come up with was fear, but it wasn't fear of the mermaid. However, he simply didn't have the time to stop and think of a name for what he was feeling. All he knew was that his friend's distress was only adding to his panic. He thought of poor Levi, how he had watched him over the security cameras in the lab in the days afterwards, swimming round and round in circles, making little anxious whines that sometimes became louder until they sounded like calls. How he looked directly into the camera, as if he knew Eren was watching, and signed _"I'm sorry"_ over and over again. How he sat on the rocks and emitted cries of all kinds, some low frequency and some high frequency, hoping Eren might hear them and come back. It killed him, it really did, but Eren knew he wasn't brave enough to face him.

It was the morning after his third sleepless night, where he was kept awake both by his thoughts and his constant need to listen for danger that he tottered into the living room, bed head out of control and shadows under his eyes dark, that he could feel himself reaching his breaking point. His mother was sitting on the couch in the early morning sun, reading a book while Fern lay at her feet, and as soon as he entered her line of vision and saw what a wreck he was, she quickly put it down and her expression became concerned.

" _No luck sleeping last night either?"_ she asked, though she already knew the answer. Eren only confirmed it when he plopped down heavily on the couch beside her and slumped over, letting his forehead fall onto her shoulder. She saw his back heave around a tired groan, and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. Eventually he lifted his head again and began rubbing his eyes, trying to wake them up, but after three days with so little sleep it was like spitting in the wind.

" _What are we going to do with you?"_ Carla wondered, shaking her head. Eren shrugged. Then she asked, _"Did something happen between you and Levi?"_

Eren's head shot up, and a blush quickly filled his sallow cheeks. Carla smirked. Bingo.

" _How did you know?"_ he said.

" _I didn't. You told me, just now. But you used to talk about him all the time. Whenever you came home, it was always, 'Oh you'll never believe what Levi did today' or 'Levi is the cutest thing, mom, he makes the cutest noises when he sees me and I can't stand it' or 'You'll never believe what Levi taught me about mermaids today, he's so amazing.' Now I never hear anything about him. So what happened?"_

Eren bit his lip and dropped his gaze to his lap, unable to look her in the eyes all of a sudden. He hadn't told her exactly what had happened that day. And he knew she would keep pressing until she got an answer. Or more like as not, drive herself down to the Sina Aquarium and ask Hanji herself. Either way, unlike what happened with Reiner, it was going to be impossible to hide from her.

So he launched into an explanation, his blush only going redder and redder as he spoke. He glossed over the more embarrassing details, only telling his mom the bare minimum so that she understood the gist of it, until he finally finished with, _"I think he was going to kiss me, and then they pulled me out of the tank before he could. I came back to myself after they put my headphones back in my ears and got me down into the lab. It felt like I was waking up after a dream, but a vivid dream. I remembered everything."_

He scrubbed a hand over his face, barely catching his mom's question of, _"Would you have kissed him back?"_

Eren stared at her for a moment, wondering if he had read that right. _"Come again?"_

She sighed in exasperation, before repeating, _"If no one had intervened, would you have kissed Levi back?"_

The boy's lips parted, then closed again, and he just shook his head again, unsure of what he wanted to say. Both yes and no were raging around in his head and he had no idea why. So he just settled on, _"I don't know."_

Carla narrowed her eyes at him, and responded with, _"I think you do know. You just don't want to say it because you're scared of something."_

Eren flinched. But she was right, of course she was.

" _What are you scared of?"_ she prodded. _"Of Levi? Because of what he did to you?"_

The boy thought about it for a moment, and surprised himself when he answered with, _"No. I'm not scared of Levi. I could never be scared of him. I don't- I'm not…I am scared, but more of…myself, if that makes sense. I think that's it. I don't know. There's just so much fear of everything anymore that I don't know what it's directed towards, but I think it's mostly at myself."_

" _Why? Is it- Eren, do you like Levi?"_

Eren swallowed hard, and felt himself shiver. _"Mom, I don't…I"-_ What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he answer? Why was this so hard?

" _Eren,"_ she sighed, getting frustrated, _"Do you have feelings for him, yes or"-_

" _Yes,"_ the boy finally admitted, his throat tightening and his eyes burning, _"Yes, yes, yes. I do. I do. He's so precious and beautiful and sweet that it breaks my heart. He always wants to help me, and he's always willing to do anything I ask no matter what it is. He offers to share his food with me when he thinks I'm not eating enough, he listens to me whenever I have something that's bothering me, and when I'm upset he'll drop everything to sit with me until I feel better or I stop crying. He's saved my life, for God's sake, mom. And even when we get irritated with each other, it never lasts long and he's quick to apologize when he realizes he did something wrong. And when he leaned in to kiss me, sober or not I would have let him. I just- what the hell is wrong with me? Is this even normal?"_

After he finished with his tirade, Eren slumped forward, as if his spine couldn't support his upper body anymore, letting his elbows drop heavily onto his knees while he hid his face in his hands. Carla blinked at him, surprised for a moment, before her lips curled upward in a slow smile and she reached over to rub her son's back between his shoulders. Then, after a moment, she tapped on his hands until he pulled them away from his face and looked her, his expression tired and unsure.

" _Baby, I'm quite certain you're not the first person to develop feelings for a mermaid, based on what you've told me,"_ she reassured him. _"Plus, I'm also quite certain that he has feelings for you too."_

" _Oh please,"_ Eren scoffed. _"No he doesn't. I'm a mess. Reiner ruined me. No one's going to want me anymore."_

His mother's eyes narrowed. _"Excuse me, but that is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. It's not true and you know it. What's so bad about liking Levi? What are you afraid of?"_

" _Myself,"_ he repeated, _"I told you. I'm afraid that I'll make the wrong decision again. I've already proved I don't have good judgement when it comes to relationships. I can't be trusted to pick someone who won't hurt me. What if I do that again? Besides, love isn't real, so what's the point? Reiner said he loved me, but it was just empty words. I'm not going to pursue or believe in something that doesn't exist. I can't get hurt again, mom, I can't. If what happened with Reiner happens again, I'm pretty sure I'll break this time."_

Carla shook her head adamantly. _"No, no sweetie, you know that's not true. You know love is real. Your dad and I still love each other. We love you, and we all love Fern, don't we?"_

Recognizing the hand signal for her name, Fern lifted her head, perking up, and only settled down again when she reached over and patted her head, but her point was proven. She continued with, _"Listen to me. I'm very certain that Levi feels the same way you do, and if nothing else, I can tell you that being with him would be nothing like being with Reiner."_

" _You mean because he's a mermaid?"_ he said flatly.

" _Besides that. You just told me how kind he is to you, and that's what I've gotten from you with every single story you've come home with about him. And seeing the two of you interact, I have to tell you, your dad and Mikasa and I, we just knew. He's so careful with you Eren, and I can tell all the two of you want is to make each other happy, nothing more. He's never tried to force himself on you, has he?"_

Eren shook his head. _"No. Not even really when he was in heat. He was very gentle."_

" _There you go. I have to tell you, Reiner kind of always rubbed me the wrong way. He always put himself in your space, always tried to dominate the conversation with you, and I could tell early on that he didn't really respect you. I kept my mouth shut though because I could see how crazy you were about him, though. But Levi, even though he has the capacity to hurt you, I can tell he never would. He'd sooner hurt himself if he thought he thought he'd hurt you in any way."_

" _But, mom" –_

" _No, now listen to me. Love isn't supposed to hurt. Reiner was the exception, not the rule. You deserve to be happy with someone who is going to treat you with respect and kindness. It's just as possible for you as it is for anyone else. You're not broken, and you're worthy of love. It's clear as day that Levi loves you, even knowing what you've been through. And if you feel the same way, there's no reason you can't try. If anything, your last relationship only proves more how much you need this, Eren. You need someone to prove to you that you're worthy, that you can make good choices about relationships. If you have feelings for Levi, please promise me that you'll attempt to go for it. No more fear. Fear is just a bitch keeping you from experiencing what love is supposed to be like."_

When she finished speaking, Eren could feel those tears welling up in his eyes in earnest and slipping down his cheeks, too exhausted to even attempt to hold them back. Smelling them, Fern immediately hopped up from her place on the floor and trotted over to stand in front of him. She began nosing and licking his hands, which made Eren crack a watery smile in spite of himself. Carla also reached over and pulled him against her, kissing the side of his forehead and whispering that she loved him, that it was all going to be okay. And for that tiny moment, with her holding him and Fern kissing him, Eren forgot about Reiner, and for an even smaller moment, dared to believe her.

000

Later that night, Eren lay awake for his fourth consecutive night in a row, and when he dared to look at the clock and saw that it was nearing two in the morning, he decided that the couldn't take it anymore. Every little sound in the night was Reiner approaching his door, or stalking out in the yard. Every time his phone buzzed sent a shot of adrenaline through him, and yet fear kept him in place. What if he left and Reiner did something to his family while he was gone? What if he stayed and he still managed to break in?

Deciding he was going to be miserable no matter what he did and not putting much thought into it beyond that, he abruptly got out of bed, slipped on some shoes, grabbed an old blanket from his closet, fished his keys from off the hook in the kitchen, headed out the door and hopped into his car before driving away. He was so strung out and on edge, trying hard to fight off his anxiety for the entire ride, anxiety that didn't decrease until he finally saw the building for the Sina Aquarium loom in front of him. He parked in his usual spot in the back, before getting out, entering the code on the key pad by the door to disarm the security system, and unlocking the door with his key.

He slipped inside quietly, repeating under his breath over and over what an idiot he was being. The most lucid ideas didn't often come to people in the dead of the night anyway, and this only proved it. Why did his courage have to come now? Why couldn't it have come at a more reasonable hour of the day? Before he knew it, he was down the hall and climbing up the ladder to the mermaid tank, his blanket tucked under his arm, shivering in his sleeping shirt and shorts like the moron he was. It was so quiet that the only sounds that accompanied him were the sounds of the water lapping and the sound of his feet padding against the stone as he walked down the pathway. Before he could talk himself out of it, he kneeled down and stuck his hand in the water, splashing it around.

"Levi," he called quietly, "It's me. I'm sorry, I know you're probably not awake and I'm waking you up but…I needed to see you."

Faster than he anticipated, he saw a dark shape rising from the depths of the tank, Levi's head appearing above the water with a soft splashing noise a moment later. Eren made out his eerie eye shine in the dark, and saw his eyes widen imperceptibly when he saw who was. However, he didn't hesitate to swim closer, stopping when he was in front of Eren, but instead of his traditional greeting, he kept his hands firmly on the stone, afraid to look the boy in the eyes. Seeing the hurt and uncertainty written so plainly on his face made Eren's heart twist painfully in his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Levi," he said breathlessly, "I know that doesn't even begin to cover it, but I'm so sorry for just ignoring you for this past week. I'm such a coward. It's all my fault, alright? You did nothing wrong. I just"-

He squeezed his eyes shut. The words were there on the tip of his tongue. _I have feelings for you that I don't know what to do with, and I was too scared to be near you._ But he couldn't bring himself to say them. Saying them to Levi would solidify them, make them permanent. He wouldn't be able to take them back. So, he went with a different tactic.

"I know I have no right to ask you this, but can I stay here tonight? In your tank? Reiner's back, he- he's been leaving me voicemails and texts and he's stalking me and I just- I don't feel safe _anywhere,_ not even at home. The only time I feel like nothing can hurt me is when I'm with you. I can leave if you want. I was such an ass, I wouldn't blame you if you were still mad at me and wanted to kick me out."

Levi blinked at him, frozen under the weight of several emotions rushing through him at once, all of them flickering on his face. First, he was shocked at Eren's apology, since there was no need for it. Levi had been in the wrong, not Eren. It was his fault everything had happened. Then, he felt horrendous rage flowing hotly through him at the thought of Eren's old mate doing anything to hurt him in any way. And then, finally, tenderness at the boy's request, even more so when he saw how hard Eren was shivering, whether it was from cold or nerves, he wasn't sure.

The mermaid hastily reached up and placed a hand on Eren's bicep, shaking his head emphatically in denial of Eren's previous words. He then said, _"Please don't be sorry. It's not your fault. I don't blame you, and I'm not mad at you for staying away when I made you so uncomfortable. I'm just happy you came back, and of course you can stay. I won't let that piece of shark shit hurt you, not while I'm breathing."_

Eren couldn't help it; he laughed. A quiet laugh, but a laugh nonetheless, the first time he had done so since the last time he had seen Levi. The mermaid had spoken with such deadly seriousness, and the resulting promise had just made him feel so happy and relieved to hear after so many days of feeling so terribly anxious, that the laughter had just bubbled out of him. He could feel tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, and he quickly wiped them away, saying, "Why are you so perfect, Levi?"

Levi just shook his head and smiled softly at him, unsure of what he could say since it was so horribly untrue.

He then seized the moment to lean up and reassuringly nuzzle his face against Eren's throat, making a noise too low to be heard, but the boy certainly felt it. It vibrated through every cell in his being, and it was immensely comforting. He nuzzled Levi back in a way that had become so familiar to them in the months since they had reconnected. The relief that the boy felt right then was so intense that it brought his exhaustion back in full force, as if the previous four days of lost sleep were suddenly catching up to him all at once. He felt dizzy, dizzy enough that Eren laid down right there on the rocks, draping his blanket over himself and using his arms as a pillow.

However, he continued to shiver against the cold winds that surrounded the water, and those rocks sure as hell didn't look comfortable to Levi. Frowning, he hefted himself out of the water, shook some of the stray droplets off, and came up to lay behind Eren, spooning behind him tightly. He saw Eren tilt his head back minutely so that he could watch his actions, but other than that, the boy remained relaxed. Once Levi settled, Eren snuggled back into him and closed his eyes with a sigh. After a moment of quiet, without opening his eyes Eren reached backward, feeling around for Levi's arm, before he pulled it forward and draped it over his waist, holding it there with his own hand and curling his fingers loosely around the webbing between Levi's fingers.

Levi blinked in shock, his heart pounding so hard he was sure the dolphins next door could hear it. Eren had not only accepted the contact of his body, but had willingly increased it. If he had the ability, Levi was certain he'd be sweating like crazy. As it was, his stomach was tingling like mad, and every one of his muscles was stiff, hardly able to comprehend how he had gone from being completely alone for the past to week to having his boy in his arms. It had been a fantasy of his to be able to hold Eren while he slept, and holy God it was actually coming true.

Levi scarcely dared to breathe and stayed frozen for several moments, lest he move and somehow spook Eren or find out this was all a dream. But the longer he lay there and stared, concentrating on the firmness and warmth of the body beside his, the longer he was convinced Eren wasn't going to move. He felt silly that he was reacting this way. He had held Eren before like this, had often slept with his head in the boy's lap. So why was this so different? Perhaps it was because it was Eren who was seeking the contact this time. More than the contact though, the meaning behind it was what had Levi's heart aching and yet leaping at the same time; Eren was so frightened of Reiner that he was looking for comfort from Levi, that not even home made him feel safe enough anymore. But apparently, being in Levi's arms did, for just a few moments later, he was sound asleep, even on the hard stone, his breathing soft and even and his lips parted gently. Despite his boy's fear, Levi felt his chest puff with pride at the thought that Eren trusted him to protect him, to do what a good mate would do. He could do that, the mermaid decided. He could prove to Eren that he could be a good mate, a far better mate than his other one had been. Perhaps, maybe, if he proved that, maybe Eren would want to be with him…?

Levi shook his head. No, he couldn't entertain such ridiculous notions. He couldn't push his luck, especially since he had just gotten Eren back after frightening him off so badly. No, he promised himself, he wouldn't do anything to upset the delicate relationship between him and Eren ever again. But…at the same time, perhaps it couldn't hurt to do little things to try and show Eren that he could be the best, kind, and most caring mate he could ever hope for? Just a gentle nudge in the right direction?

Well either way, it was too late to think about that right now. Levi's head was getting heavier, and the sound of Eren's gentle, slow breaths were making him terribly drowsy. He didn't realize it, but he was unconsciously trying to match his breathing to his friend's, only making him drowsier. Eventually, when he was sure Eren was comfortable and wouldn't wake any time soon, he lowered his head until it was resting in the space between Eren's neck and shoulder, using it as a pillow and trying to cover the boy with his own body as much as possible. He knew without hesitation that he'd put his life in danger for Eren in a second if it came down to it. Funny, when just a few months ago he thought humans were the scum of the Earth.

Love was stupid like that.

And that was how Hanji found them the next morning. She thought she was seeing things when she went down to the lab and turned on the security cameras, seeing their prone bodies on the rocks, and as she raced down she thought something was horribly wrong, that Levi was sick, or that someone had snuck into the tank in the night and he had killed them. Either way, her panic didn't die down until she got into the tank and beheld them. Her shoulders drooped in relief when she saw that it was just Eren, that they were both breathing, and that everything appeared to be okay. Levi still had his arm draped over Eren's waist, and Eren was still holding his hand. The mermaid's face was buried in the back of the boy's neck, but what she could see of the boy's face was completely relaxed and peaceful, the most peaceful she had seen from him in days. Their breathing was so soft that if their chests weren't rising and falling, she'd have thought them dead. However, minus the rocks, they looked quite cozy and warm. Oh she had many questions for them, but she'd worry about it later.

More pressing was the issue that, though his tail dangled in the water, Levi's body had grown quite dry, and if he waited any longer he might be in trouble of causing himself irreversible damage. This left Hanji with two options, neither of which were favorable. She could either wake Levi up and let him know that he need to get back in the water, or she could sprinkle him with water herself, and let him wake up from that. She could see him violently springing up and sinking his teeth into her face if she startled him in any way, especially since Eren was so close to him. He was so protective of the boy…

Luckily, she didn't need to worry about either of these options, because a moment later, the noise of her footsteps latently registered, and Levi was sitting up and growling automatically before he was even fully conscious. His vision was blurry for several moments, and he hardly looked threatening with his ridiculous bedhead, and yet he was snarling in the general direction of the threat he had detected, keeping his arm firmly around Eren.

"Shh, hey, you'll wake him up," she cautioned. "Sorry, I was just wondering who was in the tank with you. Guess I shouldn't be surprised."

She smiled wryly, and upon registering who it was, Levi ceased his growling, choosing instead to blink groggily at her. He signed, _"You are so annoying,"_ at her, curling his upper lip back slightly.

"What?" Hanji wondered. Of course, Levi remembered, she didn't understand that much sign language yet, though Eren had been teaching her some. Too tired to waste the effort on explaining, Levi simply flipped her off and then flopped back down with a moan, burying his nose in Eren's neck again. Hanji snorted and shook her head. "Alright you lazy lump, but when he wakes up, let him know he doesn't have to stay today if he doesn't want. I'll come by in an hour or so to check up on you guys. And Levi, you need to wet yourself soon, okay?"

Levi gave a half conscious grunt of assertion, before it morphed into a sigh of contentment. Yes, he was aware of how tight and itchy his skin was beginning to feel, but honestly he'd let himself shrivel up into a pat of oil as long as it meant that Eren stayed asleep and kept feeling safe.

000

"Hey Eren, guess what?" Hanji said excitedly the next day.

"Chicken butt?" Eren answered somewhat distractedly, typing diligently in front of the computer.

"Oh no, mermaid butts my friend."

"The fuck?"

"They found what they think are some fossils that might be the ancestors of early mermaids in a dig in Scotland a couple days ago, and they made the decision to send the fossils over to our lab for a more proper analysis. I was just asking if you wanted to help us analyze them when they got here."

Now that got Eren's attention, his thesis on dissecting the nature of Levi's calls forgotten for the moment in a whirlwind of excitement. He swung around in his chair before practically leaping out of it to stand in front of her before exclaiming, "Are you serious? You'd let me help?"

She laughed at his enthusiasm. "Yes of course, darling. I just got the confirmation, didn't want to tell you about the proposition and then have you be disappointed if it fell through. Moblit and I need to go down and meet with some of the scientists flying ahead of the fossils. You'll get to meet paleontologists and biologists from around the world."

Eren's heart was hammering a mile a minute, so overcome with excitement that it was all he could do not to squeal like Levi when the mermaid saw him coming into his tank. "This is amazing!" he finally burst out.

"I figured you'd enjoy. Now I think it's time for your lunch. Go eat and relax for a while."

"Well I'm certainly not going to relax _now,_ Hanji."

She laughed again, bid him goodbye, and then left through the lab door a moment later, promising she'd be back in at least an hour, hopefully sooner if the plane actually arrived on time.

Barely able to contain himself, Eren practically bounced out of the lab, a spring in his step even as he walked down the serial killer hallway. He couldn't wait to grab his lunch and tell Levi about it. He may not particularly care about old bones or family history one way or another, but for some reason his excitement always seemed to affect the mermaid, making him all bouncy and excited too, and Eren loved seeing him that happy. He finally made his way out the front door of the aquarium, making his way to the parking lot, practically sprinting, even though his lunch lasted an hour and there was plenty of time.

Who would have thought he could be so terrified that he felt sick just a few days ago, and now he felt like he was walking above the clouds.

But as soon as he reached his car, that happiness drained out of him with the viciousness of blood pouring from a mortal wound, and he became just as pale as if that were really the case. For there was someone leaning against his car, and that person held the face he saw in all of his nightmares, that made his phantom bruises ache, that forced his soul from his very being and replaced it with blinding horror and terror he could taste. That person brightened up when they saw him, and Eren froze in place, a rabbit cornered by a fox.

"Eren," Reiner breathed reverently when he saw who it was, "My God, it really is you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I actually made a moodboard for this fic, check it out here! :D http://writerforthetylwythteg.tumblr.com/post/174031548480/%C3%A9lan-moodboard-you-can-find-my-fanfic-here   
> I've also made one for Federkleid too, for those of you who read and enjoyed that fic as well: http://writerforthetylwythteg.tumblr.com/post/174035321975/federkleid-moodboard-you-can-find-the-fic-for-it


	16. The Sea Demon's Wrath

For several moments, Eren remained frozen, his eyes catching up with his brain until he finally processed that he was really seeing what he was seeing. Yes, Reiner was here, in the flesh, staring at Eren like every day they had been apart had been torture, like all the hurt and terror had never occurred. Yes, he looked like he wanted to pull Eren into his arms and never let him go. No, that's what he was really doing, he was reaching for him, and beginning to encircle Eren in his arms-

The boy backed out of the embrace sharply before he could tighten his grip, and when he spoke his voice was so embarrassingly shaky that he could scarcely believe that it was coming out of him. "R-Reiner? When did you even get here? To the aquarium? I know you've been in the state for a bit, but…wait, how did you even know that I'd be here?"

What was he doing? Why was he treating this like this was all so normal and not running away screaming like he ought to?

Reiner's face fell a bit when Eren backed away from him, but he covered it up by quickly morphing it into an expression of nonchalant happiness. "Just for about twenty minutes. I looked up on your Facebook and saw that you had your internship here. And when I saw your car here, I thought I'd wait for you. Figured you'd probably come out for lunch or something soon."

"Oh." How had he even gotten into his Facebook? He had unfriended and blocked him as soon as he'd gotten home again. An awkward silence passed between them filled only by the sound of Eren's pounding heart, before he asked, "So, um, w-what did you need?" The threats to him and his family were flooding up viscerally beneath the surface of his thoughts, but he shoved them down for the moment. If he thought about them too much, he knew he'd immediately lose control over himself and he couldn't afford that; he had to keep his wits about him.

"Well, I came to apologize," his ex said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Apologize?" Eren repeated stupidly.

"Yeah. I mean, I know I've said sorry over the phone and text, but I feel like I had to say it to you in person too."

"So you flew across the country to tell me something you've already told me?"

"Like I said," he repeated, and Eren's mouth clamped shut, "I had to tell you in person. I know 'sorry' doesn't even begin to cover what I did. God Eren, I was such a shit. I hurt you over and over and over again. It got to the point where I was just using you for my pleasure and not thinking about how it might affect you in the long run. I just had so much unchecked rage and I took it out on you, and so many sexual issues…Listen, I've been getting therapy. I really have. Because when you left, it woke me up. It made me realize how messed up I was, and how much I had to get better. You were the best thing that's ever happened to me, and when you left, it was like I forgot how to breathe. The sun wasn't as bright, and the mornings weren't as warm and welcoming and just…I wanted to die. How could have I done all of those things to you? I guess I came here to beg for your forgiveness and- to…to beg for you to give me a second chance."

Eren's eyes widened. He had read those same words over and over again via text, but hearing them in person was a different matter. He shivered, even though it was hot and humid out, and his throat felt terribly dry. He had no idea how to reply to all of that, so he stalled for a moment while he tried to come up with a coherent response. "How long have you been going to therapy?"

"A few months now. I started soon after you left. And I promise you, I'm a different person than I was then. My therapist says so too."

The boy opened and closed his mouth several times, still unsure of what to say, his mind blanking under the weight of his anxiety. "I-I…"

"Come on Eren," Reiner tried again, sinking to his knees, literally sinking to his knees, in front of him. "What can I do to prove myself to you? What can I say or do to ask you to give me another shot? How can I show you right here and now that things will be completely different than how they were? Please. I love you."

And then Eren realized that he didn't need an answer. His fear, the anxiety he felt when Reiner so much as looked at him, even without saying anything, was the answer. Granted, the words he was saying sounded pretty, hypnotic even. Full of promises and everything Eren wanted to hear from Reiner, had always wanted to hear from him. He couldn't remember the last time Reiner had spoken so sincerely to him, had told him he loved him even. Oh he'd said he'd loved his body plenty of times, but not _him._ It was a dangerous spell he was trying to weave over him, as if he was listening to Levi's song all over again. Eren could feel himself falter, could feel himself bowing his head. Hearing him speak like this brought back to life the part of him that remembered when they first started dating, remembered those walks in the park and the laughs they had shared. The sweet kisses and warmth, the deep trust and love Eren had given him.

But in the same breath, he remembered how that trust had so cruelly been betrayed. Remembered the peepholes in the wall, the painful orgies he'd been forced into, how he'd been tied down for punishment and Reiner's pleasure. The gleam of several malevolent eyes staring down at him without an ounce of care for him. The bruises, the self-inflicted cuts on his thighs. How weak and sick he had become from starving himself. And he knew if he ever went back to that again, there was no question as to whether or not he'd die, but _when_ he'd die.

Eren faltered for a moment more, desperately wanting to believe Reiner's words. The part of him that had been conditioned to submit without hesitation made his tongue tingle with the urge to simply agree and say, "Yes, I still love you too. I'd be willing to try again." But he couldn't. He wouldn't fall for Reiner's song, not this time. And even if he was stupid enough to fall for it again, even if the meager courage he managed to gather up wasn't there, there was a big reason why he couldn't drop everything and move back out west like he had last time. And that reason was currently waiting for Eren to spoil him for lunch, just like always.

Slowly but firmly, Eren shook his head. "I'm sorry Reiner. I can't."

"Why not?" the other man came back with immediately, not angrily, but Eren was still on edge. Whenever he had denied Reiner something he'd wanted from him in the past, it hadn't ended well. He steadied himself, taking a deep breath. He wasn't going to back down, not this time.

"Because I…" he paused, choosing his next words carefully, not wanting to upset Reiner. But he had a feeling no matter what he said, unless it was "yes," it was going to make him mad. "…I've just settled down here, and I'm almost done with my internship. I can't leave now. And I'm not leaving afterwards either. I'm happy you're getting help, I really am. You're making a better future for yourself, but that future isn't going to include me. I'm happy here."

He of course didn't cite that the major source of his new happiness was currently swimming in a tank in the aquarium behind him. But even if he hadn't, Reiner was of course quick to jump to conclusions.

"Have you met someone else?" Reiner asked steadily, "Is that it? Is that why you don't want to leave?"

Swiftly, Eren lied. "No. I told you, I'm finishing my internship, and I'm not going to drop everything and move back with you on the other side of the country, even if I'm almost done with it. I'm closer to my family here, and I love the people that I'm working with. I'd like to stay here."

"What if I moved here?" Reiner asked, and the boy found himself freezing again. "Would you move back in with me then?"

Luckily, for Eren the answer came easy. "No. I told you Reiner, we're done."

The other man huffed, and asked petulantly, "But _why?"_

Eren crossed his arms. "The fact that you need a reason and can't just accept 'no' is part of the reason why, for one."

Reiner drew in a breath, and exhaled purposefully, which made Eren's heart rate spike so sharply that it seemed to lodge itself in his throat. He knew he was talking back, and that also never ended well. That exhale always made Eren nervous, even when other people did it, people who had never done him harm. It made Eren press his lips into a thin line, and the urge to apologize was on the tip of his tongue, anything to make it so Reiner wouldn't be mad at him any longer. That sigh was always a precursor for shouting, or a slap. But he couldn't, would give in. His future depended on it.

"Reiner," Eren explained, slowly but firmly, "I know you're getting help, but being away from you has made me realize that I'm happier being apart from you. Every time I get a call or a text from you, I get nervous, so obviously I think you need even more help. I loved you once, you know I did, and while part of me still cares for you, I'm not in love with you anymore. I'd like to forgive what you did to me, but I don't think I can. I can't just overlook what happened. So no, I'm staying here. I'm not moving in with you, and I don't want to start again. Now please leave. I have things to do, and my lunch break is only so long."

He tried to sound more confident than he felt. On the inside he was trembling, every instinct born from past experience telling him that he was making a mistake, that soon he was going to face the consequences. But he told himself that he wasn't in Reiner's house anymore, and that his rules didn't apply out here. If he tried anything, there were witnesses…weren't there?

Taking a quick scan of his surroundings, Eren noticed that the parking lot was largely empty, many of the staff going to lunch at the same time he was. And Hanji and Moblit had stepped out as well too to meet those visiting scientists. Suddenly his heart began to pound as the gravity of his situation finally settled on him, even worse when Reiner stood from his kneeling position and towered over him again, every one of his muscles standing out prominently. Eren swallowed hard, trying to ignore him, and made to reach for the driver's side on his car door. But Reiner swiftly blocked him, saying, "Please Eren. There must be something I can do to change your mind. I came all the way out here, got on my knees for you….at least give me some hope here. That's all I ask. Tell me what I can do so that we can have what we had at the beginning again."

Eren sighed, trying to push down his nerves. "There's nothing you can do. I'm serious, please move."

Without warning, Reiner's expression changed from pure pleading to something akin to desperation, and he stepped forward and grabbed Eren's upper arms, pulling him closer.

"You can't expect me to believe that," he said, "Eren, I'll literally do anything. I'd castrate myself if that made you feel safer being around me. Please, just tell me what I have to do and I'll do it!"

Eren began to wriggle in his grasp, disturbed by his words. But the more he did, the tighter Reiner gripped him. "Let go, you're hurting me!" Eren demanded, trying very hard not to panic and failing.

"No, it can't end like this!" Reiner shouted, "After all I've done for you, I won't let it!"

He was losing control, both of the situation and of Eren, and after maintaining it for so many years, he didn't know what to do. He hadn't planned for this. Sure, he thought Eren might say know, but he was sure that with enough begging, he could have been persuaded. It had worked in the past. Maybe he just had to amp it up a bit.

"Eren I swear," Reiner tried again, "If you do this, I'll go back in my hotel room and kill myself. I can't live without you."

Eren blanched, his heart dropping to his stomach. His ex had used this line before, and time and time again, it had worked. Who else did Reiner really have, after all? He was so unstable that he might actually do it, and as much as he despised him, that small part of him that still cared for Reiner wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. But no, he wouldn't fall for it again. He wouldn't cave. Levi was depending on him. If he went back with Reiner, the mermaid would have no one. Well, he'd still have Hanji and Moblit. But they didn't know him like Eren did. They wouldn't be able to make him happy like only Eren seemed to be able to. He couldn't, wouldn't abandon him.

"Then let me get my phone and call the suicide hotline for you," the boy suggested. "If you're struggling this much, you need more help than I can give you."

Reiner's eyes went from pleading to angry at that suggestion. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. Eren was supposed to drop everything like he always did, drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness, plead with Reiner that he'd do anything to fix this. But this Eren, while he certainly looked nervous, was almost cold in comparison, and wasn't falling for any of his tactics. Well then, if Eren couldn't come quietly, he would have to use force.

"You can't do this," Reiner stated, tightening his grip on Eren's arms, leaving red marks there that would last for a long time, "I won't let you. I won't let you throw away everything we had just like that."

Growing desperate, and more afraid by the minute, Eren, after failing to free himself, finally raised his leg and kneed Reiner as hard as he could, causing the other man to loosen his grip enough so that Eren could work himself out of his grasp. He trotted away, stopping to catch his breath a few paces from where Reiner stood doubled over.

"Reiner," Eren said, trying to keep his voice from shaking and failing, "Please leave now. I won't even call the cops. I want to get you in trouble even less than you want to be in trouble, believe me."

"I'm not leaving…" Reiner wheezed, "this parking lot. Without you."

Those words barely had a chance to send a chill down Eren's spine, before the other man was springing up and sprinting towards him. The boy's eyes widened, and he remained frozen for one horrible moment, debating whether he should stay and fight or run as fast as he could the other way. He knew within a second from personal experience that he wouldn't be able to overpower Reiner. So without another moment to lose, he turned on his heel and took off in the opposite direction.

Without even thinking, his feet took him back inside the aquarium, praying that Reiner would refrain from causing a scene in a public place. However, Eren ran right through the back entrance for the employees, where there were no visitors allowed. And currently, as he had observed before, much of the back area was empty of everyone save the animals. And as scared as he was, he still didn't want to go in front and cause a scene. He couldn't even quietly get the attention of any of the security guards, as they were all out front. Fear squeezing his throat, Eren weaved his way through the hallways, hoping that he could lose Reiner in the winding maze. But it seemed that this too was impossible, as Reiner was easily able to keep up with him.

Terror was making Eren even more incoherent, especially when he chanced to glance backward and saw not only how close Reiner was (practically breathing down on his heels), but the murderous expression in his gaze. Eren had seen that gaze once before, and it had resulted in him being forced on his back with the other man's hands around his neck. He couldn't let that happen again.

So, without thinking, he let his feet take him down the familiar hallway leading to Levi's tank.

He scrambled up the ladder, adrenaline making him climb faster than he ever had before. He slipped a few times though in his haste. One of the times he felt Reiner grab for his foot when it lost purchase. However, with a frightened gasp, he managed to shake him off, before succeeding in hauling himself over the top. He then raced towards the water, mindful of the slippery rocks, preparing to dive in and hide in the water until Reiner went away. Granted, he knew Reiner would jump in after him, as he was also a great swimmer, and yet he knew the resident of the tank wouldn't take to kindly to someone he didn't know invading his private space.

However, he didn't get the chance. Just before he could make his dive, Reiner finally caught up with him, grabbing one of his arms and pulling Eren around to face him. And what he saw in his expression scared him right down to his core; it was as if the other man didn't even notice their surroundings, so bent was he on catching his prey. And at the moment, that's all Eren was to him.

"Reiner, please"- he began, but it was pointless. No matter what he said, it wasn't going to change his predicament.

"Tell me that you love me," Reiner begged him, his face going red with his desperation and anger.

Eren bit his lip, hesitating, but apparently that was all Reiner needed for an answer. The other man placed his hands around the boy's neck, not squeezing, just threatening. Eren tried to back away, even placed his hands around Reiner's wrists, his heart beating so hard he could feel it in his temples. But he couldn't get away.

"Let me go!" Eren asked again, but once again, it wasn't the answer the man wanted to hear. With a struggle, he managed to force Eren onto his knees and then onto his back on the stone, before he began to squeeze around his neck.

The boy arched his back furiously, and kicked with everything he was worth, but it was no use. Reiner was so much bigger and stronger than he was, and he was sitting on Eren, preventing him from moving too much. His hands were like huge iron paws that wouldn't budge no matter how much Eren scratched them. Just as Eren began to gasp and turn red, Reiner loosened his grip, and demanded one more time, "Tell me that you love me!"

And figuring that this was it, that Reiner's face would be the last that he would ever see, Eren felt something inside of him shift as he accepted his fate. Summoning every scrap of courage that he never had been able to before when he had been living with this man, he rasped, "I don't love you."

And that did it. Reiner completely transformed into the monster that haunted Eren's nightmares, and went back to squeezing his neck, gradually tightening his grip. Eren kept thrashing, even though it was useless, his body fighting to live. Even so, he found himself looking at the blue sky, focusing on the sound of the water, hoping that these would be the last things he remembered instead of Reiner's face as he perished.

But then suddenly, something disturbed the quiet lapping of the water. Something loud and harsh. The water exploded by his ear, followed by a roar that was blessedly angry and precious to Eren's ringing ears. And within the next moment, water was spattering over him, and the weight of Reiner and his hand disappeared as a dark blur soared over them. Eren, delirious with the lack of oxygen, managed to flick his eyes to the side, to see a fuzzy image of Reiner's bottom half kicking while his front half was submerged beneath the water. He was tugged a few times, before he was pulled under the surface with nothing more than a ripple to suggest he had ever been there.

Eren sucked in air harshly for a few moments, coughing and retching with the effort, his own breaths sounding raw and wretched in his ears. He rolled over slowly, his arms trembling with the effort, and he found himself staring dreamily at the area where Reiner had disappeared, feeling quite outside his own body. When little red patches washed up on the rocks he felt like he was watching a movie, and it took him a moment to figure out that this wasn't the case. With a jolt Eren realized that the patches were blood. His eyes widened suddenly, new adrenaline filling his core and forcing him into action again. He _really_ hadn't thought this through by leading Reiner into Levi's tank. He figured the mermaid would leap into action when he saw that Eren was in trouble and help to pull Reiner off of him. He had completely forgotten meanwhile that Levi had a record of killing people when pushed far enough. And he knew without a doubt that if he sat up here and did nothing, he was going to kill Reiner.

With a groan, Eren hefted himself up into a sitting position, knowing he had to act fast. But what could he do? All he could think to do was dive after Levi. Outside help was too far away and would come too late, but his airway was severely compromised, and drawing breath was painful. He wouldn't be able to hold his breath for long, certainly not long enough to dive down and separate the furious mermaid from his prey. But what choice did he have?

Steeling himself, Eren didn't give himself time to regret his decision before he roughly pulled off his shoes, sucked in an agonizing breath, and very ungracefully fell backwards into the water, like a traditional scuba diver.

It took a moment for him to orient himself, but when he did, Eren immediately began to search for Levi and Reiner. He didn't have to look far. They were almost directly below him, Levi swimming strongly while Reiner was pulled down, down, down, steadily, a wide trail of blood leaking from his neck. Eren began to swim downward, and at first he feared that Reiner was already dead. But as he got closer, he could see that the other man was indeed still struggling, his arms flailing as he aimed several fruitless punches at Levi. However, some of them did manage to hit, and in retaliation, Eren could see Levi sinking his teeth even deeper into Reiner's flesh, right where his shoulder met his neck. He was shaking his head side to side, worrying the skin, trying to deepen the wound. Even from this distance, Eren could see that his normally round, innocent eyes were narrowed into little black pits of fury.

Already Eren could feel the burn in his abused lungs, but still he pressed on, bent on somehow separating the two of them. But in the end, it was pointless; his need to breathe came before everything else, and forced him to make his way back to the surface. Still weak and his body shaky from his near death experience, he was uncoordinated, his head dizzy and the surface seeming miles away. He could feel his muscles giving up, deprived as they were of oxygen, and his brain was soon to follow suit. He could feel himself getting slower and heavier, too exhausted to keep going.

From his place near the bottom of the tank, Levi happened to look up and see a shape looming towards them, blotting out the sunlight shining down into the water, and within a moment, he knew it was Eren. What was the fool doing? Why had he jumped in after them? Before he could dwell on these questions, he then noticed to his horror that Eren's swimming began to grow erratic, his limbs treading about him heavily. His anger towards Reiner was overpowering and heady, the taste of his blood on his tongue only spurring him on. Yet the sight of Eren in trouble cut through the bloodlust, and as much as he was loathe to, he released the man, quickly swimming up towards Eren and grabbing him underneath his arms before hauling them both to the surface.

Levi exhaled loudly, his nostril slits closing tightly once he had inhaled again. Eren by contrast gasped weakly, like a newborn, but that was all it took to send him into a coughing fit. Relieved to see that he was okay, the mermaid gently shepherded him towards the shore. Once they reached it, he helped the boy climb onto the rocks, Eren far too weak to do so himself. Eren laid down on the stones exhaustedly, gasping and coughing, keeping his head by the edge of the shore. Levi of course took advantage of this, stroking Eren's hair away from his face and whining worriedly, occasionally rubbing his cheek against his head.

"I'm...ok-kay," Eren panted between coughs, "It's okay. It's okay."

" _You scared me,"_ Levi said, his face scrunched up in worry, _"You scared me so fucking bad just now."_

" _Sorry,"_ the boy apologized, _"Are you alright? He hit you a couple times."_ Eren did a quick scan of him, and saw that he had a dark bruise on his cheek and a few scratches over his eye. Levi just shook his head and laid his cheek against Eren's head for a moment, feeling the warmth of his scalp even through his wet hair.

Then they heard another splash off the side, and upon looking over saw that it was Reiner, swimming slowly but surely to the shore, his neck and shoulder drenched with blood while more poured out in thin rivulets. The wound was in the shape of a perfect indentation of Levi's teeth.

Levi's hackles abruptly raised, and he bunched the muscles in his tail, preparing to spring forward and finish his attack now that Eren was safe. But before he could, Eren quickly propped himself up, grabbed hold of his shoulders and pleaded, "No Levi! No. Please don't. Let him go."

The mermaid stared at him incredulously, one eyebrow raised and his mouth falling open in his shock. Before he could question Eren's reasoning, his boy skimmed his hands up his neck until they were cupping Levi's face, and he went completely still, his anger draining out of him with a speed he didn't think possible. He was all at once mesmerized by Eren, drawn into his orbit by his soft, beseeching touch.

"Levi, if you kill him," Eren insisted, his eyes begging with him, "you won't get away with it this time. They'll do something horrible to you, I know it. And if something bad happened to you, I couldn't stand that, okay? I don't know what I'd do. Just please let him go. For me."

Levi looked like he wanted to argue. His upper lip curled back with his frustration, but in the end, he did what Eren said, letting out a frustrated sigh and instead roughly shoved his head under Eren's chin, crooning softly, the sound reverberating through them both.

Reiner pulled himself onto shore behind them, getting to his feet shakily coughing hard, holding a hand over his injury. It did very little to staunch the flow of blood though, the red seeping through his fingers. However, he did manage to get a look at Eren, and what he saw had his eyes widening, especially when he took in just how intimately they were touching each other.

"Him?" he rasped. "Really? He's the reason!?"

Astoundingly, Reiner began to advance towards them, the dangerous glint back in his eyes, but before he could get very far, Levi ducked out of Eren's hands, swam the short distance towards the other man and faster than a flash pulled himself out of the water and placed himself between the two of them. His face twisted back into that murderous expression, eyes going dark, and he bared his teeth with a ghoulish screech that made the hairs on everyone's neck stand up. Thought Levi wasn't nearly as deadly on land, his eyes still promised Reiner death if he took one step closer towards his boy. He'd be happy to mangle his legs even if he couldn't reach his jugular again.

Reiner stopped dead, narrowing his eyes and gritting his teeth, his anger arguing that he push forward in spite of the danger while his common sense saw the glittering teeth and heard the demonic noises coming out of the enraged creature standing between him and his quarry and insisted he give his actions a second thought. Eren used the pause to come crawling up behind Levi, and to Reiner's shock was able to place his hand on his shoulder without having it ripped off.

"Go Reiner," he ordered, "Now. There's towels in the first room on your right when you go down the hallway, grab one of those and get yourself to a hospital. Leave and I won't tell anyone what you did."

Reiner dared to take another step forward, which made Levi snarl and posture up, the sound grating to their ears and making him freeze in place. Eren couldn't help but smirk and add, "If you don't, I'll have no problem giving him the word and letting him take a bite out of your ankles. I don't think you fancy being a cripple for the rest of your life, do you?"

Reiner didn't have the chance to decide whether to stay or go, because at that moment, the clatter of footsteps became apparent, and all at once several people one after the other appeared over the ramp. Two of them were Hanji and Moblit. Four others were security guards that assessed the situation and moved in quickly. They ran towards Reiner while Eren figured out what they were about to do and pulled Levi against his body, keeping him out of the way and comforting him while they watched the commotion. The security guards grabbed him and forced his hands behind his back, pulling him away from Eren and Levi. Once Reiner was safely out of the way and being led out of the tank, Hanji and Moblit raced over, kneeling down beside the pair.

"Are you guys okay?" Hanji asked, placing a hand on Eren's shoulder and gasping when she saw the angry red, finger shaped marks around his neck.

"We heard a commotion going on up here when we came back from the airport, and instead of going to check it out, we thought it would be best to grab the security guards," Moblit added.

Eren let go of Levi and rubbed at the marks on his neck, but the mermaid didn't go far. He kept himself plastered to Eren's side, watching his face for any sudden shifts in expression. The boy managed to crack a smile, though it was very shaky.

"Thanks guys," he said softly, and then glanced up at Levi. "And thank _you._ You saved my life. Again. I just keep adding life debt upon life debt I owe to you, don't I?"

Something was very off, Levi could tell. Eren's face was very pale; even his lips were white. He was shivering, though it was very warm out. And his breathing still sounded very off. Probably shock. They would have to warm him up. But it appeared that wasn't Eren's worst problem at the moment. Because a second later his shoulders began to shake even harder, and tears began to well up in his eyes.

"Shit, no," he wheezed, "Why is this happening?" The tears rolled down his cheeks rapidly, one after another. "Sorry, I'll stop in a second I swear."

Levi shook his head rapidly, forgetting that Hanji and Moblit where anywhere in the vicinity, before he leaned over and pulled Eren against him, cupping the back of his head and forcing it down to his shoulder. In fact, when they saw him do this, the two scientists moved out of the way, seeing that Eren was in capable hands, and made to leave the tank. Once they did, Eren began to cry in earnest, reality crashing down on his head all at once, leaving him weak and sick in its wake. He buried his face in Levi's shoulder and held him tightly while Levi squeezed him back, ambulance sirens wailing in the distance.


	17. Riding Hard Every Shooting Star

When Reiner was arrested and Eren heard the case was going to go to trial, that he could be facing many, many years in jail for attempting to kill him, Eren was pleased about that. Finally, he wouldn't have to look over his shoulder anymore and could breathe freely in the sun again for the first time in years. When he heard that he had to speak at said trial against his ex, not so much. Of course, he knew why. He was the victim, and they needed his complaint and statement to put Reiner away, but at the same time…he didn't want to touch the whole situation with a ten foot pole. After all, he had moved home to forget about that part of his life. He hadn't meant for it to follow him here and almost kill him once more.

More importantly…

"I have less than a month left of my internship left," he told Hanji one day, pacing back and forth in the lab, "And now I have court to worry about. God I can't add this to my list of shit I have to deal with. How am I going to finish my internship? How am I going to be able to go back to school? And I have the show we were going to put on!"

"No, that you'll be able to do, I think," Hanji said. "Your first court date isn't until a couple of days after that."

Eren ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "But after that…I don't want to be late for the beginning of the semester because I was stuck here."

Hanji tapped her chin from where she sat in her chair, before she said, "Here's what I think. The cops have been interviewing me too. I handed them the security footage from the cameras, and I think with that footage, your case will be pretty open and shut. Very quick. I mean, they can't exactly refute video evidence, right? And I mean, you told them about your situation with school, right?"

"Yeah, but"-

"But nothing. You've done all you can. We can only hope they'll try and move things along faster for you."

Eren suddenly stopped pacing, his heart freezing in his chest, and his face must have shown it, because suddenly Hanji was asking worriedly, "What's wrong?"

"Levi…" he said, half to himself, "I'm going to have to leave him too."

Hanji blinked at him. "Well, he knows you're leaving, doesn't he?"

"Yes, I've told him I'd be leaving at the end of the summer, but I don't think either of us realized how fast the end of the summer was going to come. And now it's actually almost here…I don't want to leave him, Hanji."

"Oh sweetie, I know. You'll keep in touch though, won't you?"

Eren snorted a bit. "I suppose. Maybe I can teach a mermaid how to use Skype if he can figure out how to use Youtube."

"See? Besides, the summer isn't over yet. You'll just have to make sure these are some of the best weeks the two of you have ever had."

The boy took her words to heart, and spent the next few days in between last minute polishing up of his dance routine with Levi and working on his final paper that was the culmination of his internship writing down ideas for things he and Levi could do in the few weeks they had left together. And he had to admit, it was a fine list, and he shared it with Levi proudly the next day.

"So here we go," he said, Levi leaning over his shoulder and looking at the paper as they sat together on the rocks, "Our list of things to do before the end of the summer. I know it's not much, and we already were planning on doing our show, but I came up with some other things too that I think we can fit around my court dates. What do you think?"

Levi scanned the list with his eyes for a moment, before leaning back and giving Eren an emphatic approving nod. Eren beamed at him for a moment, before the grin slid off his face and he seemed to lose himself in a terrible thought. Levi nudged his temple with his nose, making a little questioning sound.

"I was just thinking," the boy began slowly, "…what if I have to tell the court everything I told you? About everything that happened when I lived with Reiner? God Levi I don't want to relive that. It was hard enough telling you. And as stupid as it sounds, even after everything he did, I still feel bad for him. I don't want him to go to suffer. He has good parts about him, and can be really nice. That part of him doesn't deserve to get locked away. But at the same time"-

The mermaid interrupted his mutterings with another nudge to the temple with his nose, a harder one this time, meant to cut him off and force him to look at him. Eren did so, slowly turning his head around, looking more scared than Levi ever wanted to see him. He shook his head at Eren, trying to deny his worries.

" _He tried to kill you,"_ Levi told him flatly, _"He was going to if I didn't stop him. He deserves to be punished, Eren. You weren't thinking of those good parts of him when he had his hands around your neck, were you?"_

Eren opened his mouth to answer, and then shut it, before shaking his head. _Neither when I told him I didn't love him,_ he added to himself.

" _Then there you go. You shouldn't feel guilty. You don't deserve it. He's hurt you enough. Please don't let him hurt you anymore."_

The advice was so simple, so obvious, and yet coming from Levi, it seemed to hit him like an elephant. Oh, it would take a long time for the guilt to go away, the guilt he knew he shouldn't feel and yet irrationally did, but this was a good first step. Hearing Levi, the object of his affections, and someone that he trusted so much, someone that had never lied to him before, tell him he didn't deserve to feel like this, really put things into perspective. For a moment, he didn't reply verbally. Instead, he just leaned over and let his head rest against Levi's shoulder. He felt the mermaid freeze beneath him, and if he could see his face he would see that it had gone bright red, but he relaxed when he heard Eren utter quietly, "Thank you. I'll try."

Levi just let out an approving hum, and laid his head over Eren's, letting the peace of the moment wash over them.

000

The day of the show arrived far sooner than Eren would have liked; not that he wasn't excited about doing it, but he felt that he just wasn't ready. Combined with the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he had to go to court for the first time the next day led to him having yet another panic attack that morning, which he didn't think was a good omen.

They had decided to set up makeshift stadium benches around Levi's tank that would be able to hold around fifty people, all of them able to view below and above the water, since they would need to be able to see both in order to enjoy the show properly. Anyone who had paid admission to the aquarium was able to attend. Even though the show was still a couple hours away, Levi understandably was nervous as well as Eren was, fidgeting in his tank by swimming up and down the length of it, surfacing to breathe far more than he normally would. He even began to scratch at his arms, threatening to open old wounds. Eren tried unsuccessfully to calm him down, but of course he himself was on the verge of another panic attack, his limbs already feeling tingly with the threat. Moblit noticed this, and oddly instead of Hanji, seemed to know what to do.

"Here, come with me," he suggested. "Bring Levi too."

They both stared at him for a long moment, but didn't question him. However, they certainly felt the urge to when he brought both his clarinet and a bucket of fish with him. They loaded Levi into a wheelchair and followed Moblit until they reached the dolphin tank to meet the resident bottlenose dolphins. They had been rescued from an aquarium down south, both former performers, and were set to be released into an open water pen by the end of the year. He had met them a couple of times in an effort to collect at least a little data on dolphin communication in between his visits with Levi. The mermaid perked up when he saw where they were. He had never met these dolphins before, but seeing them brought up sweet memories from when he was a little pup. When he was rolled to a stop in front of the tank, Moblit set down his bucket of fish, which the dolphins heard, and came swimming up, lifting their heads out of the water and trilling at him. On impulse, Levi couldn't help but trill back, using the words he remembered from the dolphin language and hoping these ones were from the same region as the ones he knew.

The dolphins went completely silent, a silence filled only by Eren and Moblit turning to look at him, before the dolphins exploded into chatter, chatter he understood (for the most part, it was all so loud and fast). Levi sat up straighter in his seat, squeaking and clicking back and forth with the dolphins while Moblit and Eren looked on in awe.

When there was finally a pause, Levi looked up at the two men, beaming, and seeing the shock on their faces, he hastily explained, _"They're from the same region I grew up in in the ocean. We learned the language of the dolphins there. We were just reminiscing on the feel of the ocean currents, the weather, and how fun it was to hunt the sardines in open water. Mermaids would hunt with the dolphins quite a bit. They might have hunted with my pod at one point. But I told them you had plans to put them back in the ocean and they said that sounded wonderful and that they couldn't wait."_

Moblit just stood there blinking at him for several moments, while Eren looked oddly contemplative, before Moblit finally sighed, "You know what? I'm not even surprised you can talk to dolphins."

Levi raised an eyebrow at him, his face pinching in confusion, and Eren explained, "What he means is, he's thankful that you found someone else from your old home and that you told them about how they're going to be moved into the ocean. And that they're happy they're going there."

The mermaid just shrugged, before he heard the dolphins squeak at him again, and he answered back in kind, before turning back to Eren. _"They said they want to know what they have to do to get the fish."_

Moblit snorted. "Of course they do." And then he pulled out his clarinet, to which the dolphins immediately started clicking excitedly when they saw it, gearing themselves up. Because the minute he started to play it, and established a beat, the dolphins started squeaking in time with it, even bobbing their heads along with it. Eren watched with his jaw dropped open while Levi looked on with wide eyes. They never lost the beat once, and they even continued for a bit after the song was over, finally trailing off when they realized the clarinet had stopped playing. But once it had, they started nodding excitedly for a fish. Moblit blew his whistle his high pitched whistle to let them know they had done a good job, and tossed them each a fish with a huge smile on his face.

"Um, explanation?" Eren asked after the dolphins had eaten their fill and switched their attention to Levi again, who was chatting with them animatedly once more.

Moblit scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I don't know, one day I brought my old clarinet here and wanted to see which animals would react to the sound if I tried to play it. The seals kind of enjoyed it, the penguins tried to attack it, the otters were terrified of it, but these guys to my utter shock started singing along with it. And as far as I know no one has trained them to do that. So I thought it was cool, thought I'd try it with any other dolphins that might come through here."

"Holy crap," Eren breathed, his eyes sparkling with awe. "Dolphins react to human music? I have to add that in my paper. Who would have thought, especially since nothing sounds like that in nature. Although maybe it might sound like other dolphin or whale calls to them."

"Right? Now you might have to talk to Hanji about this, but I personally think…"

And they were off, talking about things Levi didn't understand at a speed that made him tired to listen to. But keeping his attention partially on Eren, he noticed that in talking to Moblit, the sickly pale his face had been all morning had become rosier as they talked about the dolphins. He couldn't fight the urge to smile, happy that the other man had been able to help not only his friend feel better, but the mermaid as well.

However, just a mere two hours later, that feeling was completely absent as Eren sat backstage in the indoor part of the tank wringing his hands, dressed in his bright green and black wetsuit. Levi was with him, swimming back and forth in the tank and surfacing to breathe every couple of minutes, their anxiety filtering back in as they heard the sound of the audience chatting and taking their seats outside. However for Levi, he could feel some excitement accompanying the nervousness. Here he was, about to perform for the first time in ages, and he couldn't wait to hear the awed sounds of the crowd, feel the rush of doing acrobatics in the air, and best of all, dancing with his best friend. It was yet another excuse to hold Eren close to him.

Lately at their practices, Eren had seemed…different. Not bad different, or at least, Levi didn't think so. At first during them, he seemed rather blasé about the whole thing. He'd been excited, but treated their interaction as strictly business, placing Levi's hands around his waist without batting an eye while Levi was afraid his heart was going to fly out of his throat. He'd been so afraid to touch him in case his attraction to the other boy would be apparent, but luckily Eren hadn't seemed to notice. But for the last few before Reiner had attacked him, Eren had seemed just as nervous as Levi had been, turning bright red or stuttering. Once he had even given Levi's hips a playful squeeze, followed up by a stroke to his chin so quick he thought he had imagined it. The mermaid had nearly fainted on the spot, wondering what the hell that had been for, but at the same time wondering what he could do to get Eren to do it again.

Surfacing again, he looked up at Eren, seeing that the boy was currently sitting on the edge of the tank, head between his knees. Concerned, Levi swam up to him, and upon getting closer he saw that the boy's hands were shaking slightly. When he lifted his head to look at him, Eren was pale, and his face was pinched like he was in pain. He was massaging his chest, trying to breathe deeply.

"It's alright," he told Levi, his voice sounding very unsteady, "I feel like a panic attack is coming on, but- shit, please not now. I can fight this. It's alright, it's alright. I'm going to get through this show and then deal with court tomorrow. It's alright. _It's alright._ "

Levi watched him with wide eyes, wondering if he was trying to convince the mermaid or himself. His boy was trying desperately not to fall apart despite the fact that the stress was continuing to crash down on his head. He felt so helpless, once again reminded starkly of the fact that in the long run, though he had saved Eren's life more than once, there was very little he could do for him outside of this tank.

But for now, Eren was in his tank, and he would help him to the best of his ability.

Levi quickly pulled himself out of the water so that he was sitting beside Eren, and before the boy knew it, he was being pulled into the mermaid's arms. And, to his shock, very quietly, Levi started to sing. It was nothing like the singing he had done during his heat, of course. It was soft and soothing, a hummed melody meant to be comforting. It bled into Eren's very bones, working its spell over him, not to seduce him into breeding Levi, but to seduce him into a state of calm. He sang for several minutes, until Eren at last had gone boneless in his grip, heavy and relaxed, until he was sure that the boy was no longer on the verge of hyperventilating. On the contrary, it appeared he might have overdone it; Eren was fighting to stay awake in his arms.

"Thank you," he murmured. "You're too good to me, you know that?"

Levi just stroked the back of his head, adding a small purr close to his ear. Nervously, Eren decided to ask, "Do you- do you think the next time this happens, me getting a panic attack at the aquarium, you could do that for me again? Please?"

The mermaid just hugged him tighter and made an affirmative noise; he didn't even have to ask. He'd give Eren the moon if he could.

It was only the sound of the voice over the loudspeaker that had been rigged up for the event announcing the start of the show that made them pull apart. They looked each other in the eyes for a moment, before Eren quietly said, "Good luck."

He gave the mermaid's hand a squeeze, before walking out into the light just as the person over the loudspeaker called, "Put your hands together for Levi his friend Eren!"

Still riding the soothing buzz of Levi's song, it took a minute for Eren to notice the sheer number of people that were waiting for him in the stands as he walked out onto the stone path. But even when the amount registered, he didn't let himself be afraid. He wasn't alone, after all. He repeated strongly over and over again in his head, _You are not going to have a panic attack. You're not going to be afraid. Levi is here with you. He'll take care of you like he always does._

He stopped at the end of the path, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly as he did so, getting into his beginning stance as he waited for the music to start. It was completely quiet for a moment, a moment in which Eren felt the suspense building, a moment which sans the people the stands, he was completely alone in the tank. However, when the music filtered in over the loudspeaker, he felt a smile curling his lips as he remembered all of his and Levi's practices to it, even more so when the crowd lit up in recognition, a few children in the audience cheering.

It started off soft, just vocals with no music, Eren doing nothing more than lifting his head and looking off into the distance, trying to school his face into an expression of longing. It was only when the guitar began a little bit later that he actually moved his body, placing his hand over his chest and squeezing over the area where his heart was, his face morphing into one of pain. His movements were soft and mournful, playing the story Levi had come up with; a pair of lovers apart, and then their joy and passion when they're reunited, followed by the showcasing of the many facets of their love. The woman's voice crooning to him had a slightly raspy quality that really got him, and he hoped the pain on his face would shine through. He wasn't even really dancing at the moment, just walking as gracefully as he could, looking around the tank as if searching for someone.

And as soon as the music exploded into a joyful symphony of color and noise and a faster beat, that someone appeared.

When the song picked up, Levi shot out from the back of the aquarium, a dark and sleek shape that had the audience cheering when they saw him beneath the water. Their cheering only picked up in volume when Eren replaced his melancholy expression with one of blinding happiness, leaping off the edge of the stone the moment Levi leaped up. He caught Eren in his arms, and Eren in turn wrapped his arms around him, their hours of practice paying off; they had messed up that move so many times, the timing never having been right. Most of the time Eren simply landed on poor Levi's head, or on top of him, knocking them both into the water. But this time they finally got it perfect, both of them going straight down into the water, keeping their bodies straight so that sliced through it like a knife through butter.

Once they were in the water, Levi separated from Eren, swimming away while keeping a lingering hold of his hand, until the ends of their fingers brushed. The mermaid swam around Eren in a circle that widened and widened the more he did it, Eren positioning his arms into a beseeching gesture, one meant to draw back his "lover." Levi just kept going until he was circling the tank with Eren in the center of it, doing all sorts of twists and barrel rolls. He would occasionally come back to Eren in the middle, touching their foreheads together, placing a single hand on each other's cheeks as they focused on each other and nothing else, spinning around with Eren in the middle. Levi then swam under Eren, grabbing his feet in his hands, and began to propel them to the surface. When they hit the air, the audience cheered, both of them flashing them a grin, before Eren arched backwards and Levi arched forwards, the two of them entering the water again at opposite angles.

They rejoined under the water again as soon as the song turned into a duet, Eren getting behind Levi and placing his hands on his waist. He angled his head down so that his nose was behind Levi's ear, and he chanced to brush his lips against it. Levi arched into his touch, reaching behind him and running his fingers through the boy's hair. The mermaid even managed to wrap his tail around one of Eren's legs, and he felt Eren brush the skin right above his tail fluke with his toes quite purposefully. The boy caressed Levi's belly with a flattened hand, and _shit_ Levi didn't remember this in their rehearsal, but he was not about to complain. Warmth bloomed in his stomach, and oh crap, upon glancing down he could see that his tail was turning the slightest shade of blue. At least no one in the audience would know what it meant. Did Eren even know what he was doing? Was the music just getting to him or…?

Before he could dwell on it (or God forbid do something stupid in front of dozens and dozens of people) Levi moved onto the next phase of their dance, which involved him pushing at Eren's chest and swimming away once more. He dove sharply, before leaping out of the water again, flipping and twisting in the air, much to everyone's delight. Eren swam to where he landed, only for Levi to swim away and leap out of the air once more, water flying off his tail in a perfect, shimmering arch.

Finally, Eren caught ahold of Levi's wrist, pulling him close to his chest and spinning them both around slowly, looking Levi dead in the eye. Levi was giving him a look of false defiance, but Eren could see that his eyes were sparkling, and feel that he was keeping himself firmly tucked against the boy's body. He then lifted Levi above him by the waist, loving how weightless they both felt; it was as if he was floating through the air rather than in the water. When he pulled Levi down in front of him again, the mermaid wrapped his whole body around Eren's, like a cat, nuzzling the side of his head with his own.

The music began to rise in pitch and the beat became faster, more intense, as the song reached its end. Levi grabbed Eren and spun him around, before he swam under him and took hold of him bridal style, hooking one arm beneath his knees and the other behind his back. As the song reached its crescendo, he leapt out of the water, gripping Eren tightly, while Eren pumped a fist into the air. The two of them came crashing back down into the water just as the last note faded out of the speakers.

When their heads poked out of the water again, Eren heard a tremendous cheer rise up from the crowd. They had all risen in their seats and were applauding, some of the children jumping up and down in excitement.

"Give it up for Levi and Eren!" the person over the loudspeaker announced, "That was amazing guys, well done!"

Levi looked over at Eren, and with a soft smile, grabbed his hand under the water, before he raised it above both of their heads in victory.

000

After the show, the people in the audience were invited to come "backstage" to talk to Levi, or as the brochure put it, "meet a real live mermaid for the first time. Ask him anything you want! His friend Eren will be there to translate for you." Truth be told, Eren was probably more excited than Levi was. He couldn't wait to share his mermaid knowledge with his first real audience that wasn't his coworkers or his family. It's not that Levi wasn't excited; he had agreed to do this in the first place when asked about it. He was just slightly nervous about being surrounded by so many people. They were currently set up near one of the outdoor parts of the tank where the ground was close to the top of tank. Levi was leaning against the edge, his arms folded over the top. Eren was standing next to him, now changed out of his wetsuit and into his normal Sina Aquarium attire, though his hair was still damp of course. This aquamarine stone shone prettily against his collarbone, and Levi's eyes naturally drawn to it.

"It'll be okay," Eren promised him, leaning back against the tank. "I'll be here with you, yeah? And I promise if you get too uncomfortable, all you have to do is say the word and I can shoo everyone out. Don't worry. These people don't want to hurt you, they just want to talk to you."

" _I know,"_ Levi sighed.

Suddenly, they heard the gate creak open, and in flooded the patrons, children trotting beside their parents who were trying to hold them back. The look of awe on their faces as they took in the mermaid made Eren smile, and looking behind him he saw that Levi was smiling gently too.

"Welcome, everyone," Eren greeted. "Come on up, find a place where you can see. We'll start when everyone is settled."

When everyone in the crowd did as he asked and after a few moments of silence, Eren allowed himself to get adjusted to all of the eyes on him, glancing back at Levi to reassure his pounding heart that no, he wasn't alone up here. It was going to be alright. "So, as you guys saw before, I'm Eren, this is Levi." He pointed first at himself, then the mermaid behind him, who nodded in acknowledgement. "Thanks for coming to the show. In case you didn't know, the whole routine was choreographed by Levi. I'm not nearly talented enough to pull something like that off. We figured this is the first time any of you have ever met a mermaid, so in an effort to shed some light on them get any future scientists interested in maybe pursuing this area of study, we thought we'd include this q and a session after the show. So, just so as you know, Levi can't speak the way you and I do, his tongue doesn't sit the right way in his mouth to allow for to form words we can understand. He can make noises of course which does quite a lot at me and loves to see how high he can squeal before my ears bleed." Some laughter, before he continued, "But he uses sign language to talk, which I taught him. So I'll be translating for him. So go ahead and ask us anything, about mermaids in general, about our experience working together, about the field…" he trailed off uncertainly, and finished lamely, "Erm, yeah. Fire away."

Several hands flew up in the air, and Eren scanned the crowd rapidly before deciding on one small girl that couldn't have been more than four. She asked, "Um- I thought all mermaids were girls? And Levi isn't a girl."

Levi snorted at that, and said, _"Very astute. No I'm not a girl."_

Some of the adults laughed at his blunt answer, and Eren went on to explain, "You're right though, mermaids are all girls. Levi is weird because he's a boy, and we think that male mermaids are kind of a mutation in the species. Levi is the only boy we've ever seen, and he's the only boy mermaid he's ever seen too. So it's pretty extraordinary that any of us get to meet him, because we think that the odds of meeting of male mermaid are on par with the odds of getting struck by lightning while being attacked by a shark."

A few gasps and some "wows" floated up from the crowd. When Eren prompted for another question, the hands flew up again, and this time Levi picked a middle aged lady that asked Eren, "How did the two of you meet?"

Huge grins split their two faces, and they glanced at each other, before launched into an explanation, saying how they met when they were kids and how they were split up for several years, before they found each other again at the park.

"So our lives were kind of like a Nicholas Sparks book," Eren commented. "Except Levi tried to kill me when we met again here. Actually, if anything Levi's story is just another reason why water amusement parks aren't a good idea. I know they explained a bit to you out there about what happened to Levi at the park, and I can tell you that he's completely different here. It's the same for the other intelligent animals at the parks. They suffer because there's nothing for them to do outside of the shows. Here at the aquarium, they only keep the animals that can't survive in the wild and release the others. Levi has"-

Suddenly, Eren cut himself off. He had been about to say, "Levi has said he's happy to stay here," but it occurred to him that, no, Levi had never said that. Because no one had bothered to ask him that. They had all just assumed that because the mermaid had probably forgotten how to live in the wild and hey, at least he wasn't at the Trost water park anymore, he had to be happier here. But was he really? Or did he long to see the ocean again, to feel the natural currents swirling around his body like the soon to be released dolphins were going to? Was the aquarium stifling him?

Did he long to be free?

Eren abruptly felt queasy, but he couldn't show it. He simply swallowed, and amended his statement by saying, "Levi has done very well here. I couldn't ask for a better partner for my research or a better friend for everything else."

He was unable to look at the mermaid for the moment, but if he had, he would see, like the rest of the audience, the soft blush and tender smile that had formed on his face directed at the human that had changed his life so perfectly and irrevocably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Levi and Eren dance to is La Llorona from Coco, for those that are curious. :) And also yes, that part where Moblit plays his clarinet to the dolphins is based off this video: www. / watch?v=yYZDg AP2caQ. So this marks the end of my fast updates for a while, as school is starting next week. But I'll still update when I can. Also, I think we're entering the downward slope of this fic. Not sure how many chapters are left, but I think maybe less than ten, but could be more. See you guys in the next chapter!


	18. Cliffs Unjumped, Cold Waters Untouched

Eren could barely hear the court proceedings over the ringing in his own ears. They hadn't even called him upon him to speak yet and he was already a jittering wreck, unable to keep his leg from bouncing or fingering at his pendant which was hidden under his dress shirt. He didn't even have the luxury of being able to have the comfort of his parents or Mikasa, up in the stands as they were.

All he could do was hope this would be over with quickly.

He could hear Reiner's lawyer speaking to the jury, telling them about how his client was a troubled soul with severe mental health issues that he was addressing in therapy, that there was no way he could have been in control of what he was doing. Eren could imagine his parents scoffing and shaking their heads.

Even more so because they now, at last, after several months of him keeping his silence, knew the full extent of what Eren had gone through at Reiner's hands.

The boy knew that Levi was right. Of course he was. In order for Reiner to be punished fully, he had to spill everything. And since he knew he was going to spill everything, he also knew that the first time his parents heard the full story shouldn't be in a court room full of people.

So he had pulled them into the living room on one of the rare nights his dad had off from work, sat them down, and finally told them the truth. All of it, from how Reiner used to lock him in the closet when he was mad at him, to how he used to pimp Eren out to his friends and watch through holes in the wall for his own pleasure. How he'd force Eren to do housework in nothing but high heels sometimes, or how he'd wrapped his hand around Eren's neck after the boy had given him unknowingly undercooked pork chops one time. How he wouldn't let Eren see his friends in college, how tight he kept the leash on him, and how every time after they'd fight, Reiner would get on his knees and apologize like his life depended on it.

"You're my soulmate," he'd beg, "Please don't leave me. I wouldn't survive if you did. What do I need to do to make it up to you?"

And Eren would lay down his terms of course; no more hitting, no more yelling, no more degrading, no more sex outside of just the two of them, and the sex had to be less rough. Reiner would agree, and things would be better for a little while. Until the man grew bored of following Eren's rules and went back to his old ways. He told them about the vicious cycle they entered into, and how Eren feared for his life, how Reiner threatened him and his family if he ever left, and about the threats he received once he gathered up the courage to do so.

"Why on Earth didn't you tell us before?" his father had asked, his eyes wide and full of worry.

Eren had been wringing his hands from his place on the couch, and simply said, "I didn't want to worry you. I know it seems stupid, I know you were worried anyway but…I don't know. I was embarrassed too. I didn't want to admit that I'd failed. And I was scared, like maybe I was protecting you from Reiner if you didn't know about his threats. It's stupid, I know that now; whether you knew or not, he could still hurt you. I'm so sorry."

They had assured him over and over that they weren't mad, just relieved that the truth was finally out.

"We'll help you fight this bastard in court," his dad had said. "Not that we weren't going to before, but just know the only thing that's changed is that if they for some reason let him go your mother and I will kill him with our bare hands and happily go to jail for it."

Eren had snorted at his response, his nose stuffing up with the threat of tears, tears that fell in earnest as soon as he felt both of them hugging him. And he knew that no matter what, no matter what other terrible things he might encounter in the future, he'd never hide it from them again. He still couldn't believe how foolish he'd been. After they separated, he confessed that he had told Levi already what had happened.

His parents shared a look over his head that he didn't see, but if he could, he would have found the utter understanding on their faces quite odd. The look that said, "Of course he did," without words.

However, Grisha did say to Eren, "I'm glad. I'm glad you trusted him enough to tell him. I'm sure he's been very helpful and understanding for you in the meantime."

The look of peace that had crossed the boy's face at that moment told them all they needed to know.

So here Eren sat in the courtroom, his stomach squirming with nerves, wishing he could sit next to his parents; he felt very exposed and vulnerable as he was with his ex sitting so close to him. However, more than anything, he wished somehow he could have Levi there with him. He always felt braver when the mermaid was with him, and he felt like having his guarding presence would give Eren the courage to speak on the stand. As it was, he couldn't even concentrate. He wanted Levi so badly that it scared him, wanted his warmth, his protective growls and his comforting purrs. He wanted his soothing song to forcefully relax him so that he didn't feel like he was going to throw up anymore. He wanted to be back in the tank dancing for the audience, or playing in the sun, or sharing tea. He wanted…he wanted…

He wanted to hold Levi, to be embraced so tightly that he couldn't breathe properly. He wanted to be able to stroke his cheeks, to brush his hair out of this face when it fell in front of his eyes. He wanted to act on his impulses to squeeze Levi's hips and makehim blush, or to take off his shirt in front of the mermaid just to see his reaction. More than anything lately, he wanted to give in and just lean down and kiss Levi, to see how his lips would feel against his. Would his hands dig into Eren's hair to keep him close as they kissed? Would he stroke his back? What kind of noises would he make? Levi seemed like the type to sigh into a kiss, to melt into it wholeheartedly and kiss with his entire being. At least, that's how Eren always dreamed of being kissed, to be held and caressed like he was something precious. Maybe someday, if his mom was right, maybe he'd be able to find out-

"-ren Jaeger to the stand."

The boy snapped out of his daydream. "Huh?"

His lawyer simply nodded towards the witness stand and said, "You're up. Go on, just like we practiced."

Eren looked nervously up, the stand looming in front of him. He mechanically got to his feet, well aware of the many pairs of eyes on him, and walked up to the witness stand before sitting down. He kept his eyes on the woodwork in front of him for a moment, before he lifted them to see Reiner glaring daggers at him. He could feel panic crawling up his throat, and he desperately wished Levi was here to pull him into his arms and hold him against him. In his mind's eye, he could see the mermaid telling him, _"You're alright. He can't hurt you while I'm here. Don't be afraid, I'll protect you."_

Eren tore his eyes away from Reiner, momentarily swept away by a wave of pain at the fact that while the most important people in his life were here, the one he felt the safest around, the one who he could feel his heart binding itself tighter to day by day, was not here to support him. And worst of all, he knew Levi would be here if he could, fixing him with a protective look and growling down at Reiner. His parents and Mikasa would all probably have to physically hold him back, and the image made Eren smile the tiniest bit.

"Mr. Jaeger," Reiner's lawyer spoke to him.

"Yes sir," Eren answered, coming back to himself.

"Tell us a bit about your relationship with Mr. Braun, please."

The boy hesitated. He glanced up at his family and Mikasa, all them expressing encouragement with their eyes, and for the briefest moment he imagined Levi sitting there with them too, nodding at him.

 _Tell them everything you told me,_ he seemed to be saying silently.

Eren took a deep breath and fixed his gaze on Reiner and his lawyer, steeling himself, before he finally said, "I will. But I'm afraid I'll have to start at the beginning."

000

So busy was he with court for that week that Eren didn't get to see Levi again until that weekend when he visited with his mom and Fern for the day. The mermaid of course understood why he couldn't visit. It didn't mean that he liked being separated from Eren though. Every time he heard footsteps near his tank he would perk up, only to be disappointed when he saw that it wasn't Eren coming to see him. He wondered how he was going to manage for a whole school year if just a few days of being away from him were this hard.

Right now, after an enthusiastic greeting, Eren was sitting next to him on the rocks while Levi held himself up by placing his folded arms in Eren's lap and set his chin on them, gazing up at him. Carla was behind them, throwing Fern's ball and letting the dog tire herself out by leaping off the rocks after it.

"All in all it went alright," Eren explained to Levi about his day in court. "I did what you wanted me to…I told them everything. I didn't leave out a thing. And we had evidence to back up what I was saying, so it was hard for Reiner's lawyer to come up with questions to disprove it. We're going to meet again in another couple of weeks. I think overall the trial should take less than a month so…I might be a couple weeks late in going back to school, but nothing too horrible. I've already let my professors know, and they understand."

The boy reached down and cupped Levi's cheek. He leaned into it for a moment, and then signed, _"I knew you could do it. I'm proud of you."_

A small smile made its way to Eren's lips, and then stared into one another's eyes for a moment, before the boy broke the moment by reaching forward a little more to tuck some of Levi's wet hair behind his ear, running his nails lightly over the soft skin there. Levi purred embarrassingly loud at that, so Eren did it again, and again, until he was lightly scratching his nails over Levi's scalp.

" _I'm glad you get to stay a little longer,"_ Levi said as he shut his eyes. _"I'm sorry about school and court and everything, but…"_

"No it's alright," Eren assured him. His smile grew, and he twirled some of Levi's hair around his finger. "Really. It just means I get to stay here longer. With you."

Levi could feel his face heating up, and he fixed Eren with a hopeful stare. Eren grew flustered at his own words, and amended quickly, "I mean, you and Hanji and Moblit. And everyone else here. I'm going to miss everyone when I leave. But you know, I've spent the most time with you guys. It's going to feel weird going back to school and not seeing you every day again. I might forget what it's like to not have my ears ringing from your squeals or what it's like to be able to eat my whole lunch by myself without having to share it."

The mermaid just regarded him with huge dark eyes that radiated far too much innocence. _"I keep offering to share my lunch with you too. It's not my fault you don't like raw fish."_

Eren shrugged. "I know, I just have no sense of taste for fine cuisine, I'm sorry."

The talk of food suddenly reminded Eren that it was getting quite close to lunchtime, and if that wasn't enough, he heard Levi's stomach growl.

"Alright, alright," he exhaled, pushing Levi off of him gently as he stood up, "Let me go get us some lunch before you decide you want to try raw human next."

The mermaid playfully bit Eren's forearm before he could pull it away, not enough to hurt, but enough for him to feel his enlarged canines pressing into his skin. Levi smiled around Eren's skin, making a little show of shaking his head back and forth slightly, as if he was going to tear a chunk out. Eren just raised his eyebrows at him. "You can have my arm, but are you really willing to give up tea for the rest of your life in exchange?"

Levi let him go comically fast, backing up and trilling innocently, even as Eren stuck out his tongue at him.

After he left, Carla approached him, coming up to sit down on the stones about where Eren had sat, a wet Fern dragging herself out of the water to come up beside them. She shook herself, splattering them both, Carla laughing and holding up her hands in protest. She then signaled for Fern to lay down, and the dog did so, panting happily. Levi reached up to scratch under her chin. He only noticed that Carla was speaking to him when he saw her hands moving rapidly out of the corner of his vision.

" _I'm really glad Eren has a friend like you to help him through this,"_ she said, _"His dad and I and Mikasa can only do so much. But he trusts you in a way different than the way he trusts us, I think. He trusts you to take care of him in a different way. He says that you know what it's like to hurt like he has. I think that's why he's attached himself to you so hard."_

Levi blinked up at her, unsure of how he should reply for a moment, before he decided on, _"I'm glad he did. I'm very lucky. I've never been as close to anyone besides my mom as I am with Eren. He's been- I don't want to think about where I'd be if Eren hadn't found me again."_

Carla nodded, and her expression grew sad. _"I know it wasn't your fault, but you wouldn't believe how torn up he was when you didn't show up that summer. He waited every day for you by the beach. I could tell he was losing hope a little more each day that you'd come, but he still waited, just in case. And every year since then, I'd always catch him glancing at the beach for a moment, looking at that dock."_

Levi's face matched hers, a gloomy feeling settling over him. _"I did feel awful. When everything settled down at Trost for me, one of my first thoughts was that I was going to disappoint Eren by not showing up. You know, for years I secretly hoped he'd come to one of my shows and I'd be able to see him again. I would have given anything for that, even if I could have seen him for just a moment. I would have been able to forget how cruel they were there for the little bit I looked at him."_

" _Eren actually begged me to go for a long time when he learned there were mermaids at the Trost water park. But we always told him no because it just wasn't in the budget. I'm so sorry, Levi. That was our fault."_

His eyes widened. However, there was no blame in his expression, and he just shook his head with a gentle smile. _"I'm with him now. That's all that matters."_

Carla matched his smile warmly. _"And he's going to make sure he never loses you again."_

They fell into a brief silence for a moment that involved Carla glancing behind them, before she turned back to the mermaid and said, _"Levi, I'm serious. You mean so much to him. More than you know."_

He froze abruptly in his scratching of Fern, except for his mouth, which opened and shut several times. He did make several noises that were far too high pitched for Carla to hear, but Fern heard them just fine and she leaned forward, trying to lick at his face, worried. He finally broke out of his trance long enough to ask, _"How- What do you mean?"_

She just smiled at him knowingly. _"He told me. Take my word for it. You don't have to be afraid of showing affection towards him. You won't scare him off."_ Another shocked expression from the mermaid, which had her explaining, _"Yes, I've noticed. So I'm telling you now, it's okay."_

Levi couldn't believe what he was hearing, and only understood parts of it. But before he could ask her to clarify herself, He heard Eren's footsteps coming up the ladder again, and smelled the lunch he was holding. Fern's head turned towards Eren as well, and seeing that, Carla turned to look, grinning when she saw who it was. Eren, who had noticed that they had frozen and were looking far too cheerful at his return, frowned suspiciously.

"Where you guys just talking about me or something?" he wondered, coming up beside them and setting everyone's lunches down.

" _Not at all dear,"_ Carla said, shooing Fern's head out of the fish bucket.

Eren sighed in exasperation and sat down, crossing his legs in front of him as he set his lunch on his lap and handed Levi his first fish. "I know you guys are lying, but whatever. Keep your secrets. I have a fantastic foot long sub and am going to eat it all in one sitting and don't care about what embarrassing things you were telling Levi about me."

When she was done reading his lips, Carla snickered. _"Fine. Levi, I guess we won't tell him that I told you all about the time when he was little and swimming around in the sandbar in our vacation spot, decided he had to poop and tried to bury it under a stick under the water. Only for it to wash up on shore later that day."_

Eren sputtered around his sub, which caused Levi to snorted and cough around the fishbone he had almost inhaled. Carla laughed, and Fern stuck her head back in the bucket, this time managing to steal a fish and trot off with it before any of them could notice.

000

To reward them both after a grueling couple of weeks, Eren managed to get the permission to take Levi out of the aquarium and for a little road trip. It had been one of the items on their list, one that Eren had been both extremely excited about and, thanks to recent developments, dreading.

It hadn't been easy convincing the head of the aquarium to let Levi go, especially when his only supervision would be just a young intern that refused to bring any "precautionary measures." But Hanji and Moblit had argued vehemently on Eren's behalf, stating how good he had been with him all summer, all of their progress, how Levi wouldn't be where he was now, wouldn't have ever come out of his cave, wouldn't be _happy,_ if it weren't for Eren.

"I trust him with Levi more than I trust the most experienced members of my team or any marine biologist in the country, for that matter," she had argued, "because of the simple fact that Levi trusts him. And Eren trusts him. They have a bond that runs deeper than I ever thought it would. If Levi's not safe with Eren, he's not safe with anyone."

Eren had understood why all the fuss was needed; Levi was on paper the property of the aquarium, as awful as that idea was. He was essentially kidnapping him with permission for no important purpose, at least it wasn't officially important. Not to the bigwigs that ran the aquarium.

But it was a big deal for Eren, and it would be for Levi.

He hadn't exactly told the mermaid where they were going today. All he had put on their list was "go someplace special." When Levi had asked what he meant, the boy had just told him impishly that he'd have to wait and see.

So here he was, borrowing one of the aquarium's pickup trucks and driving as carefully as he could with a trailer dragging behind him on the increasingly rural country road, a trailer that contained a large tub rooted to the floor. It was a trailer they usually used to transport dolphins, and now it was transporting a mermaid. However, the tub wasn't terribly large, certainly not big enough for Levi to dive, but simply for him to float comfortably. He kept his head out of the water for most of the time to enjoy the strange sensation of the wind blowing through the window against his face. The jostling of the trailer wasn't even so bad. The window was open after all both on the truck and the trailer for Levi to call Eren if he needed anything. So he simply sat back and enjoyed the ride, wishing there was a way he could see more scenery except for the sky whipping by, as Eren described it when he talked about car rides.

Eren's heart was pounding for the entire trip. He was hoping Levi would be happy when he saw where they were going, but also afraid he'd enjoy it a little too much. He tried to drown out his unease by blasting his music, music that Levi had begun to nod along to in the trailer when he heard it filtering through.

In no time at all though, they arrived, the truck bouncing along over the uneven ground as they left the road and pulled onto the grass. When they stopped, Levi perked up, craning his head around like he'd be able to see out the windows even though they were several feet above him. All he was seeing was the same old grey sky though, a warning that it was going to rain later.

He _mrrr_ -ed excitedly, over and over, heart pounding in anticipation as he heard Eren's footsteps plod around from the truck to the back of the trailer, and he sat bolt upright when he heard the loud clunk of the doors opening and saw Eren standing between the doors.

"Well here we are," Eren said as he walked inside the trailer. "I think you're going to like it."

Levi craned his neck, trying to see around him, but it didn't matter a moment later, because Eren was helping him out of the tub and into the wheelchair. He rolled him down the ramp of the trailer and into the grass, finally allowing him to see where he was.

But Levi still didn't recognize it.

There was sea grass blowing in a humid breeze for as far as the eye could see. The sky was dark and heavy with the threat of rain above them, and even Levi, limited as his sense of smell was, even poorer than a human's, even he could smell the salt of the sea blowing in from the wind. And as they rattled along, he could hear the crashing of the waves on a shore that was growing closer and closer. There was also a small house not a hundred yards away from them, and beyond that was a cliff that dropped off to the beach. Levi glanced up at Eren in confusion.

"You probably don't recognize where you are, do you?" the boy commented. Levi shook his head. Eren kept moving them forward, past the house, and up to the cliff beyond it. He stopped when they were at the edge, and when he did, Levi felt his breath being compressed from his lungs at the sheer magnificence of the sight laid out before him.

It was the sea, but as he had never seen it before, for he had never looked upon it from the land. He leaned forward as far as he dared without falling out of his chair, and a gasp escaped him when he realized how high up they were. His hair was being blown about in the breeze, the same breeze that caused the waves to roll and crash upon the stone and sand below them. The water was dark, grey as the sky, and for some reason caused a pulse of longing so strong in the mermaid that he had the oddest urge to crawl to the edge of the cliff and dive right in, even if the fall killed him, which it undoubtedly would. So he sat back in his seat again after a moment, letting the wind buffet his body, and let the smell of the water transport him back to vivid memories of his childhood, before he knew the cruelty of men, and his biggest concern was the occasional shark.

"Do you see that dock down there?" Eren asked, cutting through his thoughts.

Levi looked more closely at the water below, and saw that yes, there was a dock slightly off to the left. The waves were crashing high around it, but it held firm. After staring at it for a moment, Levi felt his stomach drop in realization, and he swung his head around, face open with surprise. Eren smiled hugely at him.

"Yeah, this is my family's camp," he explained, "and where you and I first met. By that dock."

Levi gazed down at it in wonder, his nostrils flaring as he scented the wind. He then began to shift and wiggle in his seat, chirping up at Eren pleadingly. The boy laughed, "Use your adult words, Levi. Do you want to go down there?"

The mermaid sneezed at him with irritation and answered, _"Yes I fucking do."_

"Whoa, too adult Levi, back it off a notch," Eren snickered, and wheeled him away from the cliff. "Don't worry, I was planning on putting you in the water today. It would be cruel if I didn't, no?"

Levi meanwhile was too hyped up, getting more and more excited the closer to the sand they got, because the water lay just beyond it. When they finally reached the water, Levi was bouncing around so much that he nearly fell out of the wheelchair in his excitement, warbling and squeaking, and if he could, Eren knew he'd be wagging his tail like a dog. Eren laughed, halting the wheelchair right in front of the spot where the sand met the water so that the water couldn't sweep it away, and began pulling off his shirt.

"Take it easy," he said, setting his shirt beside the chair, "We're going in, keep your tail on."

When Eren at last stripped down to his swim trunks and lifted him from the chair, Levi was so excited by that point that he didn't even have time to marvel at the fact that he was being pressed against Eren's bare chest and carried like a blushing bride out to sea. He instead was keeping his eyes fixed on the water, leaning down and guinea pig chirping. Eren was snorting at his eagerness, and only let him go when the water was up to his knees. He bent over and placed Levi down as gently as he could, of course getting splashed as the mermaid began to flex his tail in a swimming motion. He raised a hand to shield his face, watching as Levi swam out a little deeper, before he saw the ripple of him turning right around and coming back, tugging on Eren's ankle.

"Alright I'm coming, calm your tits," he assured him, wading out into the water until he could comfortably swim in it. He glanced up at the sky quickly, and warned Levi, "Alright, we're going to have to make this quick. Don't want to be caught out here when it starts raining."

Though Eren had to admit, the heavy smell of oncoming rain in the air only seemed to add to the heady atmosphere. From then on, he mostly watched Levi frolicking in the waves, leaping over particularly large ones, breaching constantly, doing flips and spins, while every once in a while he came back to Eren to encourage him to come out further with him. And the boy did, letting Levi nudge him, leap over him, circle him, and brush against him. He even grew a bit frisky, rubbing his cheek against the side of Eren's face several times like a cat, giving a little coo, or rubbing his entire body down the length of Eren's. He purred and sometimes rubbed his body so enthusiastically against the boy's that he pushed him under, causing Eren to come up sputtering and laughing. He loved going off on his own for a bit to scooch across the sand on the sea floor, before coming back to Eren, sand in his hair, and touching their foreheads together, chuffing, and transferring some of that sand to Eren's hair as well. Because he could, and it was funny to hear Eren go, "Heeey," when he realized what Levi had done.

Levi for his part was beyond euphoric, just as happy as he had been when he and Eren had spent that one weekend with his family in the tank, or performed together. Feeling the natural currents of the ocean, smelling it and hearing all of these sounds were part of a wonderful, forgotten dream that he felt overjoyed to experience again. It reminded him that these dark waters were still just as much a part of him as they had ever been, all those years in captivity threatening to make him forget that. But no, instead of rejecting him, the sea held him and supported him like an old friend, encouraging him to play and stretch his limbs, to bask and frolic. He knew he'd never be able to thank Eren enough for this experience today, nor could he ever hope to pay him back.

Not that Eren ever expected Levi to pay him back in anyway. He was too kind. Levi didn't deserve him, and here the silly human was, standing by Levi's side, like there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

It wasn't long after that the rain started, but it was only after it began to pick up that they noticed it. Eren swam back towards the shallow water, Levi wordlessly following him, still bright eyed and exhilarated. However, when Eren stood up on the sandbar, he didn't look exhilarated. Instead, he looked pensive, his mouth drawn in a slight frown. He looked almost sad, and the mermaid was immediately worried. He swam up to Eren until he too was on the sandbar, sitting in front of where Eren was standing, tilting his head and _prrrip-_ ing. But Eren didn't look at him; he was staring out at the horizon.

"Levi," he said lowly, almost as if he was speaking in a dream, "maybe…you shouldn't come back with me."

The mermaid blinked with confusion, and he raised one eyebrow. He signed, _"What do you mean? What's the matter?"_

But Eren didn't see it. He explained slowly, "Nothing's stopping you from swimming out past that dock and into deeper water. If you wanted, you could leave. You could go home. You still remember where it is, right? I would tell the aquarium I couldn't stop you, that you had a right to go. I'm sure Hanji and Moblit wouldn't fault you for it. I've…I've been thinking about this for a while. If you want to go, that would be okay with me."

The more he said, the wider Levi's eyes got, unable to believe what he was hearing. Swim out to sea? But Eren was right. There was literally nothing preventing him from kicking off this sandbar and travelling towards the horizon. He could find his old pod. Start his life up again out there.

"You've suffered long enough," Eren said softly, clenching his fists by his side. "You deserve to be free."

The mermaid heard the waver in his voice and saw the tenseness in his shoulders. His mouth was drawn in a pained line, and his first reaction was to start crooning, to erase Eren's distress. But for some reason, his chuffs and little mews of reassurance seemed to upset his boy even more. His lower lip began to tremble, and Levi could see tears wetting his waterline, threatening to fall. He scooted a little closer, brushing Eren's knee with the back of one webbed hand, cooing more insistently, trying to comfort him while not understanding fully what was wrong. Why was Eren suggesting he leave when the idea seemed to upset him so much? Levi leaned his forehead against his leg, looking up into Eren's eyes as best he could.

" _Do you want me to go, Eren?"_ he asked.

Eren squeezed his eyes shut, unable to look at him as he signed back, _"I want you to be happy. Whatever you decide, that will make me happy too."_

Levi was reeling from that answer. What _was_ Eren? The fact that he could say things like this while he was clearly suffering…Levi couldn't handle it. He pressed his face against Eren's leg, sighing in frustration. After a moment, he peeked out of the corner of his eye towards the horizon, hearing the crashing of the waves. They were calling to him, promising him healing from his thirteen year ordeal. He could dive down and live in water so deep he'd never see another human again, never have to look upon the face of the creatures that had hurt him so badly when he had done nothing to provoke it. He'd never have to suffer at their hands again, and the aquarium, nor the water park, would ever be able to find him and recapture him.

But at the same time…he'd never see the only human that ever really mattered to him again either. And he knew he wouldn't survive that.

He tilted his head back and looked up at Eren again. The boy was crying freely now, though he was trying to keep his face passive, looking fixedly at the dark grey, almost blue clouds above their heads, as if Levi was gone to him already. But he wasn't, and he had to remind him of that. Levi tapped Eren's knee insistently, trying to get the boy to look at him. When he did, albeit reluctantly, as if scared of what he'd find there, he stated, _"You don't want me to go, not really. Do you."_

There was no question at the end. It was simply an observation, a morose and relieved one. Eren insisted, "I told you, I want you to do what makes you ha"- but Levi cut him off, smacking his knee and shaking his head, frowning.

" _Don't lie."_

Eren wiped at his eyes with his palm, barely seeing Levi add, _"You won't influence my decision by telling me the truth, you know."_

He hesitated a moment more, biting his lip with indecision, before saying so quietly that Levi barely heard him over the wind, "No. I don't want you to go. But Levi, what I want isn't important, okay? I want you to do"-

" _-what makes me happy, I know."_

Eren kept wiping at his eyes, frustrated that he couldn't stop crying. After a moment of deliberation, he heard Levi let out a heavy sigh, before he scooted away from his boy, putting about a foot of distance between them. The mermaid continued to stare out at the distant waves hard, before he twisted himself around back towards Eren and lifted his arms, a silent request to be picked up.

The boy's mouth fell open. Literally. He found himself frozen to the spot, and when he didn't move for a few moments, Levi scooted an inch closer, still keeping his arms in the air. The boy shook his head, as if to deny what he was seeing.

"L-Levi?" he stuttered, "Don't you…you can go if you want. You don't have to stay, don't you get it? You can be free. You can go _home._ "

Levi, to Eren's surprise, let out an irritated growl, and said, _"That's what I'm trying to do, idiot."_

The boy was shocked into stunned silence once more as the weight of his words sunk in. He felt his knees go weak, before they gave out and he landed on them with a splash. He bowed his head so that Levi couldn't see his face, wretched with a million different emotions. Levi tried to bow his head in turn so he could look at Eren's face, so in an effort to hide it, and express his gratitude that was simply too big for his body, he leaned forward and pulled him into an embrace. Levi felt him bury his face into his shoulder, and he covered his head with his own as best he could.

"You're so stupid, Levi," Eren mumbled, lips moving against the mermaid's skin.

Levi just made a noise of denial, and rubbed his cheek against Eren's head, giving a single purr. He put his hands between them, directly in the boy's line of sight, and signed, _"My home is wherever you are."_

Eren felt the tears rise up anew, and he made a pained sound, burying his face deeper into Levi's shoulder. Levi just found himself smiling, and then reaching around to rub up and down Eren's spine. What a wreck his poor boy was, and yet Levi wouldn't have him any different.

Then, it was Levi's turn to be frozen into silence when he felt a pair of lips brush his cheek as Eren backed out of the embrace.

It was so faint he thought he might have imagined it at first, but judging by how red Eren's face was….yeah, that was a definite no, he hadn't imagined it. But Eren was still trying to play it off like it didn't happen, hopping to his feet, but still conspicuously refusing to meet Levi's eyes.

"So, shall we get going?" he asked far too loudly and cheerfully.

The mermaid blinked up at him, and almost opened his mouth to say something. However, he decided at the last moment against it, and instead smiled up at his boy, before lifting his arms up again. This time, Eren didn't hesitate to pick him up and deposit him carefully into the wheelchair. He pushed Levi up the beach, neither of them looking back at the sea as they left it behind.


	19. Listen To A Daffodil Tell Her Tale

The end of August found Eren once more in his familiar place in the aquarium. Except he wasn't sitting on the rock and interacting with Levi; he was sitting in a foldable lawn chair out of the mermaid's reach, laptop on his lap, keeping the mermaid company while he proofread his final paper. Was Levi happy that Eren was so far away, of course not. But he understood. After a few attempts to settle in Eren's lap while he worked, it just wasn't working out, and the boy had huffed in frustration and moved away, leaving Levi feeling a bit guilty.

"Don't worry, I'm not mad at you," Eren assured him without looking up from his computer, "I just really need to get this done."

The unspoken _it's been a crazy couple of weeks_ hung between them. With the last few court dates , Eren simply hadn't had time to finish his work. So here he was, making up for lost time. But since Levi couldn't sit in his lap, he decided to drag himself out onto the rocks and lay next to Eren's chair, sunning himself and looking so like a cat as he stretched over exaggeratedly and luxuriantly that it made Eren laugh to himself.

"Comfy down there?" he wondered. Levi made a little affirmative noise. Part of him wanted to be cheeky and invite Eren down there to lie next to him, but he knew it'd be wiser not to. There was something off about his boy today, and he felt that if he said or did the wrong thing it might upset Eren in a way Levi might not be prepared to deal with.

The boy sighed. "I'm sorry, Levi. I'd really rather be just hanging out and being lazy with you, you know that. But the good news is, I'm fairly certain my last court date was indeed my last one."

This was the first the mermaid had heard about that. He sat up, and Eren looked down at him out of habit so he could see his reply. _"How did that go?"_

Eren half typed, half spoke, having trouble doing both at the same time. "Well, we won, of course. They couldn't ignore the evidence, and with my account, Reiner is being put away for a very long time. Won't have to worry about him for a couple of decades if I'm lucky. But I swear, and this probably just speaks to how messed up I still am, but when I heard the judge's decision, I felt relieved, but I also felt really horrible at the same time. Even after what he did to me, I don't know, I just wanted him to leave me alone, but I didn't want anything bad to happen to him. Part of me will always care for Reiner. We were happy once, at least I thought so. It was probably all manipulation from the start…or was it? Ugh, I don't know. He's the only one that does."

Eren shook his head, saved his work and closed his laptop for the moment, because it was clear he wasn't going to get any work done now. He felt a rant coming, and therefore couldn't type and talk at the same time. "But Levi, what got me wasn't just that he was being put away. What got me was that when he heard the verdict, he got upset. He didn't get angry like I thought. Like, I thought he'd lash out at me, like he always did, when something didn't go right. I mean I know he couldn't hurt me with all the cops there. But he actually started crying when they told him he'd be locked up, and put away for many years. And I know it shouldn't have affected me, but it did. Like I had a knee jerk reaction to beg them not to make his sentence so long, and I hated that that was my first thought. But I kept my mouth shut. I thought of you, and I'd know that's what you'd want, and what my parents would want. So it's what was best. I can't help him anymore. I don't know if I ever could."

Levi began to sign quickly, reassuring him, _"No, of course not. Not from what you told me. If he wanted to change, he could have done it. I think if he loved you enough to want to keep you, he would have tried harder. He never deserved you, Eren."_

"But Levi, what if it was something I did that made him that way?"

"No, _Eren. You were nothing but selfless and loving, and he took advantage of that."_

"What if that was it though?" Eren continued, anxiety rising and making him ignore Levi's statement, "What if there was something I could have done differently? Then he wouldn't be going to jail. God Levi, I put him there, what's wrong with me? He'll hate me forever, I don't want him to hate me. I ruined his life! I should have just kept my mouth shut. I shouldn't have moved away. Maybe if I had complained less about the threesomes or held it all day when he stuck me in the closets instead of wetting myself he would have been nicer. Maybe he would have loved me enough not to hit me."

" _Eren, stop,"_ Levi pleaded, placing one hand on his boy's knee, _"Easy, now you know that's not true. He was selfish, and no matter what you would have done, it wouldn't have"-_

"What do you know?" Eren burst out, flinching away from his touch, "You weren't there! You don't know him like I did. You're not even human, what would you know about how our relationships work?"

The mermaid blinked up at him, shocked by his words. Before slowly, very slowly, he drew his hand back, and almost seemed to shrink in front of Eren's eyes. He bit his lip, and it was only when it began to quiver that Eren seemed to realize what he had said. He gasped harshly, and quickly put his laptop aside before all but falling to his knees in front of Levi.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed. "No, oh my God please don't cry, Levi…Levi I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it!"

Tears were indeed welling up along Levi's waterline, but he refused to let them fall. He just shook his head, trying to smile shakily and failing. _"I know. But you're right. I'm not human, and I only know what you've told me about yours and Reiner's relationship. So it's okay, you didn't say anything wrong."_

Eren gripped at his own hair, moaning with distress. Levi watched with surprise as he bent forward until his forehead was resting against the mermaid's lap very gently. "Yes I did," he mumbled, "This is what I meant. This is why he would get so mad at me, my emotions would get the better of me and he'd hit me to make me stop."

Levi made a pained sound of denial, and carefully began to stroke Eren's hair. To his surprise, the boy lifted his head abruptly at the touch, his eyes red and glassy. He was shaking his head hard as well, and saying desperately, "You should hit me. I deserve it."

That sentence made Levi whimper with pained shock, and he shook his head even harder. Now that Eren was looking at him, he said, _"I would never hit you, Eren. No matter what you said or did…I'm not him Eren, don't you see that? I'm not your old mate. Mates aren't supposed to treat you the way you were treated."_

His boy froze, putting his hand over his mouth, his eyes shining more as he began to tear up. He glanced away from Levi, but Levi made sure to keep his hands in his line of sight.

" _You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve someone who will be kind to you, and be careful with you. You don't deserve to be yelled at, or to be hit. I know you know that, so please…I don't ever want to hear that from you again. Eren, you deserve so much compassion, so much love, like what your family has shown you, and Mikasa."_

"And you?" Eren croaked.

Now it was Levi's turn to freeze. The boy lifted his head to gaze at him, tears welling up in his eyes, but his gaze was sure. He meant what he had said. And yet Levi had no idea how to reply.

Luckily, Eren made the decision for him. Exhausted from his outburst, and wracked with guilt, he leaned forward and let his forehead rest against Levi's. The mermaid reached up automatically to cup the his cheeks, chuffing instantly, the noises meant to be reassuring and calming. And Eren knew this, and knew he still didn't deserve his reassurance. Yet, he still craved it, and that was why he didn't pull away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, the crying really starting now. "I'm more messed up than I thought. God…I promise I'll never do that again. I'm going to go see the therapists at my school when I go back. You've been so selfless and I just…I want to be worthy of you, Levi. And maybe by the end, I can be someone you can be proud to have with you? At-At your side?"

Levi just chuffed again, and breathed in Eren's breath, wanting so badly to say what he was thinking, but he knew he would deny it. So he just stayed silent, and let Eren cry, his boy placing one hand over his webbed one and rubbing his thumb along his knuckles.

_You're already worthy, my Eren._

000

With court now over, Eren had less than a week before he returned back to school. Therefore, he and Levi had to get scrambling if they wanted to get to the last couple of things on their list. So Eren wasted no time in getting to the aquarium in the morning, and as soon as Levi was done with breakfast, he was loading him into a wheelchair and pushing him down the hallway.

" _So are you going to tell me what this is about?"_ Levi asked, _"The list just said 'Tour.' Tour of what?"_

Eren just grinned. "Well, I figured you've been living in this aquarium for close to a year now, and yet you've never seen the whole thing. So, the park isn't going to open for another couple of hours, I've got my spritzer bottle back here to keep you wet, and we're going to take you around the park to meet the residents."

Levi's eyes lit up at the idea. Not only could he not believe that he was going to see the rest of the park, but this was one of the few chances he'd have to pretend he was well, human, for a bit. If he didn't look down at his tail, he could pretend he was one of Eren's human friends touring the park with him. He beamed up at the boy, chirping his approval.

"So, where should we start?" Eren asked.

" _From the beginning,"_ Levi answered. _"I want to see it like the humans do when they come here."_

"To the front gate it is," the boy declared.

They went around the back of the facility, out a back door and crossed a parking lot. Luckily the day was cloudy, so he figured Levi wouldn't dry out as fast as he normally would on a sunny day. They reached the front gates in no time, Eren pushing Levi towards them excitedly.

"Those are the ticket booths," he explained. "When people get here, they pay the person at the booth and they let them in. Then they walk through this thing. It helps keep track of how many people enter the aquarium every time they turn the knobs."

Eren walked through the turn table to demonstrate, and Levi watched in fascination as it rotated and made a clicking noise when Eren was through. Though sadly, the mermaid knew he wouldn't be able to make it through with his wheelchair, as the passage was far too narrow, so he wheeled himself around it. Once he made it over to Eren, the boy spun the spokes with his hand until it clicked for Levi as well, grinning at the mermaid. Levi just laughed softly at him.

Once Eren got behind his chair again and began pushing him forward again, he said, "Alright, now, we could go anywhere you want. To the right is the exhibit on prehistoric life, to the left is the pen with the seals. Which would you like to see?"

Levi thought for a moment. He had seen seals before. Maybe he'd like to see them later, but for now… _"The prehistoric one?"_

"You got it, captain."

They entered a little building, which led to a tunnel that was mostly dark, only lit by a couple bright lights which illuminated the informational boards and pictures that sat above them. Though Levi knew sign language, he was a little slower at reading, at least for now. Plus, it was more difficult to read aloud when you couldn't exactly pronounce what you were reading correctly. So he asked Eren to read the boards to him, and the boy obliged, secretly made giddy by Levi's enthusiasm.

"So the light up boards with pictures are explaining how life began four billion years ago about, give or take. And it began in the ocean. Started off as single cells, until those evolved into more complex creatures. So here," Eren pointed to the first picture, "is the sea in the Cambrian era. You mostly had creatures with exoskeletons and fish were only just evolving. So there weren't any sharks or anything. The top predator in the ocean was this monstrous thing, Anomalocaris."

Levi's face pinched in confusion. There were a lot of things Eren was saying where he had no idea what they meant, but the look of that creature topped it all. He couldn't have conceived of something like that in his wildest imagination; bulgy eyes on stalks, prehensile jaws, and a set of wavy fins on either side of its body. But Eren was still going on, his eyes bright and his face clearly growing redder even in the dim light. He was coming to life in front of Levi's eyes, and despite him not understanding most of what he was saying, he didn't have the heart to tell him to stop.

"And here is the Silurian ocean," Eren pointed to the next lit up window. "Here you had more armored fish, and sea scorpions the size of crocodiles! And the top predator was the Orthocone, a relative of squids and cuttlefish, but it was as big as a truck."

Well, Levi knew what a squid and a cuttlefish was. How could something like that have anything to do with those creatures?

"And the Devonian period had all the armored fish! You certainly wouldn't be able to eat them like you can today, you'd need a jackhammer to cut them open. Oh, but look at Dunkleosteous, I'd give anything to see one up close. I've only seen the fossilized heads of them, and they're fucking terrifying. Looks more like a giant bulldog than a fish. Its jaws could cut through anything.

"Then of course when the dinosaurs lived you had all the marine reptiles, and the sharks getting bigger…and when mammals came along you had huge carnivorous whales and such. Oh, and don't even get me started on Megalodon, it was just"-

Levi tapped insistently on Eren's arm, interrupting him, though he was somewhat loathe to. His boy looked like he was in his element, practically shaking in his excitement. But he felt he had to ask, _"What's a fossil?"_

"Oh!" Eren gasped, suddenly realizing his mistake. Poor Levi must have been so lost. Just because he lived in the sea didn't mean he had a clue as to what any of these creatures were. "Alright, well, a fossil is the result of when minerals and water get inside of a dead animal's bones. It forms a stone copy of the bone that remains even when the actual bone rots away. Less than one bone in a billion becomes a fossil, but it's how we know what used to live on this planet. We have stone copies of their bones, and in the creatures that only lived a few thousand years ago, sometimes we have mummified remains."

" _So that's how you know what kinds of animals lived on the planet? By the bones they leave behind?"_

"Yes. Or imprints their bodies leave in stone, or footprints too. We've actually been looking for fossilized mermaids too, to see how your kind developed. My guess is humans and mermaids have a common ancestor somewhere down the line, but I guess we'll see."

He was getting that bright, zealous look in his eyes again, and Levi shook his head fondly. _"You really feel strongly about this stuff, don't you?"_

Eren blushed, and he kept his eyes locked on the pictures of the ancient sea creatures. "Well, yes. I've actually taken a few paleontology courses, and I'm going to be taking anthropology this year, so I can study primates more closely. Maybe it'll give me clues as to what ancestor we share."

He trailed off awkwardly. Levi probably still didn't understand what he was talking about, and therefore didn't care. But the mermaid was tapping on his arm again, and when he got Eren's attention, he told him, _"I think it's cool you like this stuff so much. You'll have to tell me what you learn in class. And maybe tell me a bit more about the creatures that used to live in the ocean in the past? Like, what was…what did you call it, mega-something?"_

At his words, his boy lit right up again, like a tired star receiving new life, and Levi knew right then that he'd never get tired of that expression, and would do anything he could to keep it there.

"Oh, are you in for a treat," Eren said, almost forebodingly. He then pointed to an animal on the board, and Levi tilted his head.

" _That's just a shark,"_ he observed.

Eren snorted. "You're so naïve, it's so cute. Yes, it was just a shark. _Just_ a shark that was as big as a whale. And that there is _just_ one of its teeth."

It was then that Levi noticed the tooth perched on a little plaque beneath the picture of the shark that was indeed in the process of attacking a whale. He then noticed that the tooth was easily bigger than his entire hand, and when that information sank in, he almost soiled himself. His expression must have amused Eren greatly, because the little shit was laughing. Of course he was.

"On that note, shall we continue?" he said as the giggles began to die away.

Levi stuck his tongue out at him, but pointed forward nonetheless.

There was so much to see at this aquarium. It was astounding, really. Levi had lived here far longer than Eren had interned here, and yet Eren knew the place far better. And he was so thankful that the boy was treating him exactly how he might any human friend that he might have been taking there, explaining things Levi didn't understand, excitedly giving little trivia facts about all the animals they saw, and offering friendly waves to the staff members that were passing by. Levi waved as well, and they had all smiled at him.

After the prehistoric part of the aquarium, there were many tanks in the hallway containing both fish living in the rivers in the area, and tropical fish. There were a few giant groupers in one tank, and eels in another, creatures Levi had seen of course, but it was nice to see them again. The giant tank that contained the tropical fish reached from floor to ceiling, forcing both of them to crane their heads back to take it all in, and Eren was pleased to see Levi's face light up in the dim, blue glow of the tank.

Past the fish was the touch tank, full of sting rays and small nurse sharks. At Eren's prompting, he couldn't resist putting his hand in and letting the creatures swim under his fingers. The boy did the same, and while some people he knew were put off by animals like these, he couldn't help but marvel at the rough, sandpapery texture of their skin, not at all what one would expect by looking at a shark or stingray. One of the stingrays even got overzealous and threatened to flap itself right out of the tank and into Levi's lap, causing Eren to burst out laughing at Levi's horrified face. Mike happened to be walking by when this happened of course. He took in Levi's drenched lap and smirked.

"Damn Mike, put a leash on your kids," Eren had said, still laughing.

Levi hissed at the offending creature, and signed up to the boy, causing him to gasp in horror, "No, I am not feeding you that stingray for dinner! Why are you so offended by getting wet, have you forgotten what species you are?"

He heard Mike say behind them, "Put a leash on _your_ kid," to which Levi began to sign rapidly things that made the boy's eyes widen in shock, and Eren quickly wheeled them out before Levi could come up with more choice words to say.

There were of course several more tanks full of fish, and beyond that, a huge tank full of sharks. What fascinated him more though wasn't really the fish, it was the way the tanks were designed. Some of them were wide and round, others spiraled up, or crisscrossed. Some were designed almost like support beams for the ceiling. The one that held the sharks let them swim right over their heads. One of these fancy tanks even contained an octopus that traveled through small glass tunnels from one tank to another, squeezing itself into a tiny ball to make moving easier. Levi watched it move with fascination.

"They squeeze themselves through any orifice bigger than their beaks because they have no bones," Eren rattled off.

" _They taste really good too."_

"Is there anything in the ocean you won't eat Levi, damn," Eren teased, "When you look at the tanks is it just like looking at a menu to you?"

" _I wouldn't eat you if you came into the ocean,"_ he answered cheekily.

The boy raised an eyebrow, a huge grin on his face. "That so? What a shame. I wouldn't mind being eaten by you."

He winked down at him. It took a minute for Eren's words to register, but when they did, he blushed. Hard. Oh, Levi longed for the days when he didn't understand innuendos. Why did he have to be so good at picking up human languages?

More importantly, why did Eren have to tease him like this?

After that, it was on to a few of the aquarium's residents that liked to spend as much time on land as they did in the water. The crocodiles and alligators were first, both creatures Levi had never seen before. He was both disappointed and relieved; disappointed because they weren't really moving much. Relieved also because they weren't moving much. Their teeth and fearsome, scaly appearance was making him glad he never encountered one of these beasts in the ocean.

Beyond the crocodiles were the penguins, and Levi watched them waddling around as Eren sprayed him down with his spray bottle. Their keeper, Connie, happened to be out, tossing their fish into the water, and suddenly they all came alive, diving into the water after them and zipping around as they caught their breakfast. Levi pressed a webbed hand against the glass as he observed them.

"You know," Eren stated, "there's a few zoos that have gay penguin couples. They raise chicks together and everything. Because apparently male penguins have a hard time distinguishing between the genders and sometimes they pick another male to be their mate and well, penguins do mate for life."

Levi couldn't tell if he was just telling him another animal fact or if this was another one of his attempts at flirting with him, because of course Eren would try and flirt by using animal facts. He took a moment to calm himself down from the urge to start internally screaming, and instead replied, _"You guys need some gay penguins here too."_

The boy laughed, and told him, "Well, Connie said if they get a pair of gay penguins in here he's naming one of them after me. I told him I'd be honored."

 _Can he name the other one after me?_ Levi wanted so desperately to say but didn't. Instead he grinned up at Eren, nodding his approval.

They soon moved onto the tank next door, which happened to be where the otters were kept. Sasha was in feeding them as well, and they were tumbling over each other at her feet, squeaking and chittering and pawing at her knees. She was cooing at them, patting each of their heads after handing them their breakfast, which happened to be some fish and some oysters. Each otter took their offered treat back into the river part of their enclosure, diving under the water, before popping back up and floating on their back with it as they ate. The otters with the oysters had grabbed a rock as well and were banging the oyster against the rock to try and pry it open.

The mermaid watched them intently, craning his head to observe their every movement. His eyes were wide and curious, and one hand was pressed against his mouth, while his cheeks had gone the lightest shade of pink.

"Like them?" Eren asked, though the answer was obvious.

" _They're so cute I want to die,"_ Levi answered.

"You ever see an otter before?"

" _No. I'm regretting it now, thanks."_

They watched them eat in silence for a bit, watching the otters eat and chirp to each other. The sounds they were making were so cute, that Levi couldn't resist. To Eren's surprise, he began to imitate them, chirping in a perfect mimic of an otter call, trying to get their attention. However, it would appear that the otters were even more surprised. They paused in their eating, one of them even freezing with its oyster in midair, and fixed their dark gazes upon Levi, who upon seeing that they were looking at him, began to chirp more insistently, pawing at the glass. They tilted their heads, pausing for a moment more, and then abandoned their breakfast in favor of rocketing towards Levi.

They met him at the glass, touching their noses to his hand. A couple of them turned upside, pressing a little paw against the glass as well. Every time Levi chirped at them, they squirmed happily. He moved his hand across the glass, and they followed it, and when he held up his tail and pushed his flukes up against the tank, they all seemed to be pushing each other out of the way to get a good look at it. Levi's face was still pink, and he was smiling so hugely, that it gave Eren an idea.

"Hey Sasha!" he called up.

The girl, who had been watching Levi interact with the otters with fond amusement, called back, "Yeah?"

"Would it be alright if we put Levi in the tank with the otters for a bit? Might be good for them to play."

"Uhhh…yeah, sure! Yeah, bring him on up here. But just for a bit! The park opens in like fifty minutes."

Eren glanced down at the mermaid, who was regarding him with a surprised, hopeful stare.

" _Really?"_ he wanted to know. He certainly didn't want to impose or anything.

Eren waved him off. "Of course. You looked like you wanted to go in and hang out with them, and the otters are a lot of fun to play with. Sometimes they let people come in here and swim with them too, and the money they pay to do that goes towards conservation, so it's nothing they're not used to. Though I'm very sure you'll be the first mermaid they've ever seen, so this will be interesting."

Without wasting anymore time, he quickly hefted Levi up and brought him into the tank, which thankfully didn't have a ladder he had to climb. But the minute Sasha let him in, he had all of the curious little otters scampering around his feet, sniffing his shoes and standing up on the back legs to try and get a sniff of Levi. But Eren kept moving carefully forward until he reached the otter's river, a neat little simulation of a real river that offered a fake lake that it emptied into and several small waterfalls with real moss growing on the rocks. The water was easily deep enough for the otters to swim around in for hours comfortably, and though it would be shallower than what Levi was used to, he would be able to make due for the short while he'd be in here.

Carefully, Eren lowered him into the water, and he and Sasha watched as the otters scampered after them, sliding in almost on top of Levi. A moment later, the mermaid sat up, and the otters followed him, surfacing and coming up to sniff his skin. When they started doing that, though Levi tried to hold still so he wouldn't scare them, he couldn't help it; he started laughing his low, funny metallic laugh.

" _Their whiskers tickle,"_ he explained.

The next twenty minutes was full of Levi petting the small creatures ( _"Oh Eren they feel so smooth!"_ ) and playing with them. He was astounded by how curious they were, and how quickly they had accepted his presence in their tank. They kept exploring his tail, sniffing it and nibbling on his flukes, as if they couldn't figure out why this odd human had one. They dove and darted all around him, and seemed to be delighted when he dove with them and chased them around, or let himself be chased. When he chirped at them, they chirped back, and when he floated on his back, some of them crawled onto his chest so that he could pet them. When he would come up for air, his loud exhalations frightened them bad enough that they all jumped, causing Eren and Sasha to crack up.

It was only when things calmed down, when Levi was laying with his head leaning against the bank of the river and letting one of the otters comb through his hair, presumably to try and groom him a bit, did Eren reluctantly decide that it was time to leave. Levi responded with a petulant whine that tapered off into grumbles, but held up his arms nonetheless.

"Don't worry," Eren assured him, "I'm sure if you ask Sasha nicely she'll let you come back and play with them again."

"Oh definitely," she responded behind them.

As Levi was lifted from the water, the otters trailed after him, holding onto his fingers with their little paws until he was too high for them to reach. They even followed him and Eren until they reached the door to their enclosure, squeaking in a way that was so forlorn that it made the boy feel like the scum of the earth.

" _Poor things,"_ the mermaid observed when Eren put him back in his chair. He watched them watching him leave until he was wheeled out of sight.

"You'll go back," Eren told him. "I'm just glad you had fun. Playing with them will keep you busy when I'm not here anymore, right?"

At that reminder, Levi grew very quiet and lowered his gaze into his lap, unsure of how to answer. Yes, the otters would help, but nothing would be able to replace Eren's company, and even though he knew he had to go, the very idea of being without Eren for an extended period of time made Levi's heart beat far too fast. When Eren saw how the mermaid had deflated at those words, he quickly changed tactics.

"I'll buy you an ice cream before we go back to your tank?" he offered, "I don't think you've tried one of those yet."

Though he didn't think it would help, Levi put on a smile for Eren anyway. It was the thought that counted, and of course he appreciated it.

Not too long later, they were on the way back to the mermaid's tank, mint chocolate chip cone in Levi's hand. The mermaid was making all sorts of little pleased sounds as the flavor washed over his tongue, the mint strong, and the chocolate pieces only made it all the better.

" _Humans make the best things,"_ Levi mouthed at him so he didn't drop his cone, but Eren was able to understand. The boy snickered.

"Sometimes," he said, "Catch the drips there. Otherwise they'll go all over your hand."

Levi quickly did so, twisting the cone around in his hand, and though Eren didn't mean to, he found himself staring. The sight of that pink tongue was doing odd things to him, and he quickly shook his head to snap himself out of it.

This was getting ridiculous. Soon he'd be leaving for school, and he still didn't have the balls to admit to Levi how he felt. And all the while, he could feel his affection for the mermaid growing stronger every day, and every time Levi did something endearing, like how he had played with the otters today, or every time he forgave Eren for his irrational behavior and reassured him that it was all going to be okay, it made the boy die a little inside. Levi was too good for him, and as much as the mermaid would tell him otherwise, he would never feel worthy of the forgiveness and love that he was giving him so freely. Perhaps he might feel differently after he worked with a therapist long enough while at school. He could only hope that would be the case.

For Levi. He'd change himself for Levi. He wanted to become someone that wasn't afraid to give his heart to someone again.

Perhaps it was that determination and his out of whack emotional state that made him open his fool mouth as Levi finished his cone and said, "Levi? Do you think this outing counts as a date?"

It was a good thing the mermaid had already swallowed down the last of his ice cream, otherwise he was sure he'd be choking on it. He went completely still as he absorbed Eren's words, his entire neck and face all the way to the tips of his pointed ears turning bright red. The boy had told him what dates were quite a bit ago when the two of them had compared the courting rituals of their species. And ever since then he had fantasized about taking Eren on one of these human dates, of course. Deep down, all day, he had been thinking, _What if_ , but hadn't allowed himself to go further than that. And to hear the words out loud…

Heart pounding, Levi shyly signed back, _"I'd like it to, if that's alright with you."_

Well, that just made Eren blush right back, and he couldn't quite stop himself from squeaking in surprise. Luckily, at that point, they were at the bottom of the ladder to the mermaid tank, and he wasted no time in picking Levi up and hauling him up. He carried him on his back on the journey up, and he could feel the mermaid's eyes burning into the back of his neck, Levi meanwhile biting his lip to keep himself from leaning forward and kissing the skin there. It certainly looked pretty, he had always thought the nape of Eren's neck was lovely, especially when he bent his head forward and he could see the bump of his top most vertebrae poking up teasingly, making the mermaid want to bite it-

Eren cleared his throat, as if he could hear Levi's thoughts, which made the mermaid tense up. He carefully placed him down on the rocks, and then leaned back a bit so he could speak to him.

"So, um, I'm going to go feed the dolphins," he explained, suddenly nervous, "you know, like I do every morning. And, um, I'll be back later."

" _Thanks for today,"_ Levi said sincerely, _"I mean it, You're too good to me, Eren. I don't' want to imagine how I'd be if you hadn't found me."_

Eren squeezed his eyes shut. Those words were really the last straw. Pulling back, he took a deep breath, and then quick as a flash, leaned forward and purposefully kissed Levi's cheek, before he stood up without a word and all but ran out of the tank.

Levi meanwhile stared after him, his cheek burning from where Eren's lips had touched it, his mouth hanging open in shock, and his stomach tingling like mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to GammaRays, who has the patience of a saint, and is constantly subjected to my rants and ravings of random animal facts and sits there and pretends she gives a damn about any of them. Thank you so very much for tolerating this easily excitable walking encyclopedia.


	20. In the Minute of a Lover's Look

"Aaaaand…done," Eren declared, putting down his scissors. He held up his phone in front of Levi and turned on selfie camera. "What do you think?"

The mermaid had been long overdue for a haircut, complaining that his hair felt quite heavy on his head and was constantly in his eyes in or out of the water. So Eren had volunteered to cut it the day before he left for school, assuring Levi that he had trimmed his parents' hair several times when they asked for it, and had become quite good at it. However, he forgot that mermaid hair was different than human hair, possessing far more thick layers and being far oilier. Therefore it had taken Eren a lot longer to cut his hair than he thought it would, but Levi had been patient as always, remaining still for the boy even though his back had to have been killing him from sitting up for so long.

Levi turned his head this way and that, appreciating the fact that the strands at the base of his head were far shorter than the ones near his eyes, though those ones had been cut back significantly. The way it was, the shorter strands of his hair seemed to be darker than the longer ones, which had more surface area to catch the sun. This created an interesting gradient when he shifted his head that seemed to go from black to blue, to even violet and green in some places. Like a fish's scales.

"I hope you like it," Eren said nervously, "I tried to cover up my mistakes, but the way I figure, if it's a bit too short, it just means it has more time to grow, and that means the staff here won't have to worry about cutting your hair. Hopefully it can hold out until I come to visit again."

If there were mistakes, Levi couldn't find them, and frankly, he didn't care. The boy's opinion on his appearance was the only one he cared about.

" _Thank you,"_ he said, smiling softly, _"It looks great."_

That smile…Eren blushed like an idiot and he reached up to rub the back of his head while he hastily put his phone aside. Levi fidgeted meanwhile, playing with the webbing in between his fingers while he avoided Eren's eyes. Ever since the boy had kissed him, nothing else had happened between them, and at this point Levi was dying for another kiss. Or, perhaps the next time he could be the one to kiss Eren. It should be okay, shouldn't it? Since the boy had done it first? He wouldn't push him away, and Levi wouldn't scare him off. Right?

The mermaid took a deep breath and let it out slowly, before he smiled to himself. Eren looked at him oddly, wondering what he was thinking, before Levi said, _"You've taken me to lots of amazing places lately. If it's alright with you, I'd like to return the favor."_

Eren tilted his head, and said unsurely, "Um…yeah, okay. Where would we go?"

But Levi just smiled wider and answered, _"How would you like to see the inside of my cave? It's quite lovely, if I do say so myself, and no one has been in there, besides me of course."_

Eren had to consciously remind himself not to let his jaw drop. The inside of Levi's cave! Eren nodded eagerly.

"Yes!" he gasped, "I'd love to! When can we go?"

His excitement was contagious, because soon Levi was wiggling his seat and sneezing happily, before replying, _"As quickly as you can take your shirt off."_

Well, Levi would dare say he'd never seen Eren strip that fast in his life. He didn't even seem to care that he was in his good khakis that he usually wore to the aquarium, so eager was he that he didn't want to take the time to go and change into his wetsuit. He flung off his shoes, before he was hopping into the water beside the mermaid. When he bobbed up again, he found Levi's hand under the water and began tugging on it.

"Come on!" he urged, and Levi grinned before he obliged, nodding towards the water, a signal that Eren took to mean he was going to dive. So, the boy sucked in a huge breath, and sunk under the water.

Normally, it was nearly impossible to swim deep under water with a lungful of air, and Eren sometimes had to weigh himself down with stones or weights he brought along. But with Levi, it was a million times easier. Gifted with a swim bladder that could control his buoyancy at will, the mermaid sunk much smoothly, and with a strong tail to propel them downwards, Levi had no trouble sinking to whatever depths he wished to. He gripped Eren's hand tightly, the clear membrane swishing over his eyes so that he could see perfectly, much better than Eren ever could hope to, even with the boy's years of practice. The boy tried to aid in them swimming down, but found he was being pulled more than he was actually keeping up. But he didn't mind.

Eren hadn't swam this far down into Levi's tank since the day the mermaid had tried to scratch his throat out at its entrance, and even being in here on the day they performed in front of their sold out crowd, he hadn't been able to marvel at how huge it was. It was an old dolphin tank, so vast and the water so blue that if he didn't know better, he might think the walls weren't there. From the surface, Levi's cave was just a small black blur sitting at the bottom, and it was only when they got closer did he appreciate how large that was as well. The whole setup served to make Eren feel very small and insignificant, and yet Levi made him feel quite safe, looking back at him every once in a while and clicking at him reassuringly. And Eren didn't just hear the clicks in the water, he felt them vibrating throughout his body, but it wasn't a bad sensation; it was just another way Levi asserted his soothing presence over him in this strange environment.

Levi swam quickly, aware of Eren's limit and knowing he'd need to breathe almost as soon as they entered the cave. It didn't seem like a long journey to someone who could hold their breath for half an hour, but when he stopped and thought about it, the journey to the bottom was almost a couple of minutes, and Eren's lungs had to be burning by now. Levi swam a little faster, still chirping insistently at Eren, encouraging him to keep going. Soon, they were at the entrance to Levi's cave, and the mermaid wasted no time and pulling them through the entrance.

It was pitch black all around, too dark for Eren to see his own hand in front of his face, or Levi, who was right beside him. However, the mermaid didn't let go of his hand, and instead kept dragging him deeper in, all the way until they reached the back. From months of staying inside this cave, Levi knew exactly where the air pocket was, but Eren of course did not. So, he gently grabbed Eren's shoulders with one hand while he maintained his grip on the boy's hand with his other, guiding him slowly upward towards the air pocket.

When Eren broke the surface, he exhaled loudly, and then began gulping air quite desperately. His heart pounded for a bit, and he used the time recovering to take in his surroundings. Sadly, his surroundings above the water weren't any different than below the water. He still couldn't see anything, as they were too far back into the cave for any light to reach, and the only sounds he could hear were the lapping of the water and the sound of his own breathing. He did find that his feet could touch the bottom, and he was able to stand upright comfortably in the cave with a few inches to spare.

A moment later, Levi rose up as well, exhaling so loudly in the small space that it made Eren flinch and exclaim, "Jesus, kid, can you not?"

Levi of course had the balls to start laughing at him, and Eren just found it so cute that he couldn't stay mad. Instead, he just shook his head at him, even though Levi of course couldn't see it, and found himself joking, "Hey, you got any lights down here?"

No sooner had he said that than, as if by magic, soft, green lights began to brighten up the pitch black space, until he could finally make out Levi's face. The mermaid was right in front of him, his hand touching one of the green lights, which Eren realized were fake crystals embedded in the walls. He gasped upon looking up, seeing that they covered the entire ceiling as well, looking like the inside of a planetarium.

"Holy shit," he breathed, "Levi, this is gorgeous! No wonder you never wanted to leave." Then, he froze, immediately realizing what he just said and how that must of sounded. "I mean, shit, sorry, that's not what I- ugh, stupid foot in mouth disease."

Levi shook his head, placing a hand on Eren's shoulder. He just smiled at him, indicating that he understood, as this was quite the beautiful cave. The boy breathed a sigh of relief.

"Show me around?" he asked. Levi nodded eagerly, and took Eren by the hand again, leading him under when he had pulled in another breath.

This time under the water was much better, as the crystals lined the walls under the water as well. Eren could see that the walls weren't as narrow as he thought they were initially. It looked like the air pocket was all the way in the back of the cave, and the floor of the chamber was lined with soft weeds. Part of the floor inclined upwards, and upon feeling it with his hands, Eren wondered if this was where Levi slept. Next to the patch of weeds, he felt a few shells, some large and some small. There were even a few conch shells, and of course Eren had to smile upon finding them. He found other pretty stones that the aquarium must have given Levi under the pretense that mermaids liked shiny things, and Eren had to laugh at how the mermaid had pretty much hoarded them all around his bed, like a dragon sitting atop a mound of treasure. He made a mental note that he'd have to buy Levi some more gems for his collection.

Next after the one large bedchamber came two smaller ones in the middle. They didn't linger however, because Levi explained that there was really nothing to see. One chamber he used to store the bones from his fish before giving them to the keepers at the end of the day, and the other he used as a bathroom, the reason being was because that chamber in particular was the closest to the strongest of the many filters in the tank.

The final chamber, the one right at the entrance of the cave, had to be the most beautiful of all the chambers. It was a little garden Levi had put together, made of several colorful weeds, a few underwater flowers, and some more glowing gems erected in the middle. However, these gems were several different colors, and for a moment, Eren sat there in awe, marveling at what Levi had created. He swam closer, touching the gems, watching them flicker on and off as he did so. He saw that there were even more shells among these plants. It was then that Levi got his attention by tapping his shoulder and pointing upwards, and Eren followed him back to the air pocket.

Once they both surfaced, Levi explained, _"I have other gardens in other parts of the tank too. They help brighten the place up, and taking care of them gives me something to do. But I must say, I'm more fascinated with the gemstones the people here give me. They're so pretty, and I wish I knew what they were called. I wish I could see other gems and learn their names too. I'm sure there's many more on land."_

He sighed wistfully, and Eren immediately jumped in with, "There are! I don't know much about gemstones myself, maybe I can find a book for you or something, but I do know that people use rose quartz to attract suitors, and aquamarine is considered the mermaid gem. I've always worn one not just because it's my birthstone, but because part of me was hoping maybe I'd attract a mermaid with it."

Levi seemed to light up at those words, and he very bashfully signed, _"Well, I think you've accomplished that."_

The boy laughed awkwardly, softly, but Levi's smile didn't fade. And looking at him…God, he was pretty under the glow of the gems. Down here, Eren felt like he was on another planet, somewhere far away from his troubles. For a moment, he forgot about going to school, or the fact that he was still so messed up in the head. The abuse he had endured became a dim memory that barely pained him, and everything outside of this cave ceased to exist. The surface of the water reflected the gems perfectly, and Eren felt like he was bathing in the night sky. The only sound was their breathing. Levi's eyes reflected the gems, two silver pools sparkling at him beneath dark lashes, and though Eren was reminded of it every day, there were some days in particular he was truly hit with how ethereal and lovely the mermaid was. He was the moon and stars, the sea and sand, seashells and the roaring of the ocean made flesh, everything Eren never knew he wanted. And his pretty face was only matched by how gorgeous his heart was, always finding room for Eren despite his mistakes. That was something he would never be able to understand, the fact that this mermaid still cared for him despite how crazy he could be. That he still smiled for him and sang for him when he was upset. That he was…

…was slowly growing redder in the face while his eyes closed halfway as he gazed at Eren with awe.

It was then that Eren realized that Levi had steadily been leaning forward, his face growing closer and closer to his own, his body putting itself in his space without his knowledge. Levi stilled, realizing what he was doing, and his first reflex before he had even finished processing this knowledge was to leap backwards and start apologizing like his life depended on it. But in that space where everything stopped, he noticed that Eren didn't look disgusted or afraid at all. There was the aforementioned dark blush on his cheeks and down his neck, visible even in the dim light. But more than that, Levi looked so _hopeful_ , so much so that it made Eren's heart trip over itself. The mermaid dared to believe that Eren leaned forward a fraction, trying to encourage him into moving again. His lips parted, and the mermaid's breath had gone shaky, as if he had forgotten how to breathe properly. Eren bit his lip and then let his lips part, willing his shoulders to relax. He saw Levi inch closer, and his own breath hitched in his throat. He could make out every detail in the mermaid's eyes, saw the moment they began to flutter in anticipation, Eren's own following suit. He felt the barest brush of the tip of his nose against Levi's, felt his bangs brush against the mermaid's before the other paused again. His heart was beating so loudly in his ears that he couldn't hear himself think.

"Levi…" he said, so quietly that it was more of a breath with some inflection than an actual word.

The mermaid didn't reply, but Eren could swear he felt him nod, coaxing, ever cell in the other's body vibrating, his skin prickling with heat and nerves. If he had the ability, sweat would have broken out along Levi's back, and his hand inched towards where he believed Eren's to be under the water, to pull him even closer, a supporting gesture to comfort him and to show him just how much he wanted this.

But alas, just as their fingers brushed together, that seemed to wake Eren up from the dream he had fallen into. He sucked in his breath, and slowly backed away until his back was against the cave wall. When Levi felt him move, he opened his eyes again to see his boy looking terribly embarrassed, his gaze fixed on something off to his left side, his face red.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I'm not- it wasn't you, it's me again. I know I keep sending you all these mixed signals, and I'm such a mess. I'm so sorry, it's not fair to you. I just- I'm not ready yet"-

Levi cut him off with a soft coo, his face open and understanding, but that just made Eren feel worse. His mermaid was too good for him, and once more those feelings of inferiority rose up in his chest and began to choke him. Before the mermaid could begin to explain, Eren asked morosely, "Can you help me back up to the surface? I'm sorry, Levi."

The mermaid wanted to deny his apologies, say they weren't needed. On the contrary, _he_ should be the one apologizing. After this, Eren would probably never let him near him again, and any fragile relationship they might have was probably well and truly gone because he was too eager. Stupid, he was so stupid, why couldn't he have controlled himself? He didn't want their last full day to end like this. He wanted to impart every comfort he could on the boy, telling him everything was okay, but it would be nothing Eren hadn't heard before, and he wouldn't believe him.

So he simply nodded with a bittersweet smile, and offered him his hand. Eren took it without a word, blinking hard against the uncomfortable prickling sensation in his eyes, and after a huge breath in, let Levi pull him down and out of the cave.

000

The next morning Eren showed up to the aquarium just as the sun was waking up. His flight back to school was horrendously early, but this way, if he got there early, it would leave him all day to move his stuff in and settle into his new room. He was even going to be rooming with someone he had met last semester, a kid named Armin, who despite being a genius who started college at the age of fifteen, clicked well with Eren. It must have been their mutual love for adventure and the unknown, and the boy found himself excited to see his friend again.

However, the excitement of seeing Armin couldn't overcome the strong mix of emotions he felt at the prospect of saying goodbye to Levi.

He climbed the ladder, the sounds of his footsteps clanking on the metal and the smooth feeling of the hand railings as familiar to him as his fingers and toes were. He heard the sounds of his feet tapping against the stone pathway, by now as familiar as his own hallway at home. In fact, over the summer, this tank had in fact come to feel like home. This routine he had of seeing Levi every day, of playing with him and learning from him, of crying with him and laughing with him, it still seemed so far out of the realm of possibility that it was going to end today. That tonight he wouldn't have to go feed Levi his dinner or saying goodnight to him when he left. That he wouldn't get to see him every day anymore.

For the first time, it really hit him, that this was the end of their summer and all the good and bad that had come with it. And when it did, it left a vast ache in his chest that he knew would stay with him for a long time.

When he got to the end of the pathway, he kneeled there expectantly, and as usual, Levi appeared from the depths of his tank, rising a few feet away from Eren with only his eyes and ears above the water. For a moment, Eren was puzzled as to why Levi came up so far away, and didn't appear to want to come any closer. Then he remembered the terms they had left on, and he softened. Levi probably thought he was mad at him, or worse, afraid of him.

"Levi, it's alright," Eren assured him, his voice sounding too loud to him in the dead silence. "Here, come here."

The mermaid hesitated, but did as he was told, swimming towards him until he stopped right in front of him. However, he still didn't look the boy in the eye, and his mouth was drawn in a harsh, pained line. Eren sighed sadly.

"I just wanted to say goodbye before I left," he explained, "and to say I'm going to miss you. A lot. I- well, this goodbye is much harder than I thought it would be."

Levi perked up a bit at that, looking at Eren for the first time since he got there, but the pain in his face didn't fade.

"Listen," Eren continued, "I'm sorry for yesterday. For pushing you away. But I…well." He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks tinging pink. "It's, I mean, you and me- um…shit." His face turned red as he blushed harder. "It wasn't exactly, unwanted, if you know what I mean. Just- Christ, why is this so hard to explain?"

Just then, he watched as Levi scooted just the tiniest bit closer and placed his hand softly on Eren's knee. He offered an encouraging, understanding smile, and the boy was relieved to see the frown gone from his face. It gave him the courage to string his words together in a coherent sentence.

"I don't know when it started," Eren murmured, "but, I mean, I've always cared about you. It just evolved from a friendship to…something more so gradually that I didn't realize it until recently. And I've been so damn scared to even acknowledge these feelings, like saying them aloud would make them final, and I wasn't sure if that's how I really felt. And I was just so sure that romance and stuff wasn't real anymore, and I was too scared to be proved wrong. I was scared to open myself up again after what happened with Reiner, I was just fucking scared in general. And then you had to come along and fuck everything up." He smiled so Levi knew he wasn't angry, and the words were said lightly. "I was so sure of what I wanted, but it looks like the universe wanted me to find you again so I could become another victim in history to fall for a mermaid's charms, you know?"

He paused, and took a deep breath, finally finishing with, "So, um, yeah. That's- that is pretty much the size of it. I don't hate you for trying to kiss me or anything. I'm just an anxious wreck about this whole thing, and I'm terrified that I'll make the wrong choice again, even though I know you'd never _ever_ hurt me or anything, like logically I know that, but I'm so messed up that"-

Eren was cut off abruptly by the feeling of lips against his cheek. He froze, seeing that Levi had bobbed up in the water to reach his face, and was sinking back down again. When he was settled, he huffed and told him, _"How many times do I have to tell you that you're not messed up?"_

The boy just stared at him, his eyes wide and his lips parted in shock, cheek tingling fiercely from where Levi's lips had been. Suddenly realizing what he had done, Levi's eyes widened as well, and he began to sign rapidly, _"Shit, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to kiss you without permission, especially after what happened yesterday, I just hated that you were talking the way you were, and I couldn't think of another way to tell you I felt the same way and make you stop talking and"-_

With that, Eren snorted, and then began laughing. Levi's hands slowly dropped back into the water, the anxiety bleeding out of him until he joined in with his boy's laughter.

It took a bit, but eventually they both stopped, and Eren wiped a tear from his eye before saying, "What is wrong with us?"

" _Everything,"_ Levi replied, beaming, _"Nothing."_

"But it's true? You…feel something too?"

" _Of course, Eren. Since I found out you were the kid I made friends with back when we were little. When I saw that you were still the same in your heart, I knew I was done for. And…it didn't hurt that you became really, um, pretty, too."_

Eren smirked, and snorted again. "So that's why you looked like you were about to die every time I took off my shirt."

Levi sank back down into the water up to his ears in an effort to cover his reddened cheeks, narrowing his eyes and blowing bubbles. Eren couldn't resist; he patted him on the head, which caused the mermaid to glare up at him, and he couldn't help but smile even wider. Levi lifted his hands out of the water and explained, _"I was afraid to tell you how I felt though because of what your other mate did to you. I was afraid you wouldn't want to be around me anymore if you knew I had feelings for you. I felt so guilty, and I tried to talk myself out of being attracted to you, but it didn't work."_

"Oh Levi," Eren sighed, still rubbing his head, "You can't help it if you develop feelings for someone, that's perfectly normal."

Levi leaned into the boy's hand a bit, lifting his face from the water and offering Eren a little purr. The boy began to run his fingers through his thick, silky hair, and said, "I guess all that matters is that we figured it out. And I am happy you told me. I just think we're going to have to take this, whatever this is, slow. Really slow. I like you Levi, a lot. More than what I thought I'd be capable of considering. I'm just going to be more cautious this time around."

Levi nodded rapidly in agreement, signing sincerely, _"Of course. However slow you need. I'll do whatever I have to so I can prove to you…I don't know, whatever you need. I'll protect you and do anything I can for you. And I'll help you with your studies, or be here for whenever you're happy or upset about something. Anything you need Eren, if it's in my power to give it to you, I will. My tank is always open for you."_

The boy was speechless for a long moment. He remembered Reiner showering compliments on him when they first started dating, but they were mostly focused on Eren's physical appearance, things like he was lucky to have someone has pretty as him. But Reiner had never offered statements of support like this, even though he was more than capable of providing many forms of support for Eren. Levi had next to nothing he could physically give Eren, and he knew that, and yet, here he was, promising to stand by Eren in whatever way possible. He had no idea how to reply to that, so he settled on, "I-I…the same goes for me to you, Levi. You just…you mean so much to me, so much that I'm happy to be proven wrong for once. About romance and love and all that mushy stuff."

Levi reached for Eren's hand and, taking it gently, he repositioned it so that it was cupping the side of his face. He left his hand over the top of the boy's and held it, barely resisting the urge to shiver when Eren began to run his thumb along the mermaid's cheek. Levi had a sudden desire to kiss Eren's palm, and decided it couldn't hurt, so he did just that, giving Eren a hopeful smile afterwards, praying he wouldn't be rejected. Luckily, he wasn't; if anything that little kiss just made the boy's expression grow warmer, more open. Something in Eren's chest seemed to loosen then when he realized that Levi's affection and knowing the motivation behind it didn't make him afraid. If anything, it just deepened his feelings for the mermaid, and made his chest feel all warm and fuzzy. He could have stayed like that in that precious moment with Levi forever.

But of course, something had to ruin it. The silence was shattered by the sound of the alarm on his phone going off, and both he and Levi jumped at the sound. Eren cursed and shut it off, remembering why he had set it.

"That alarm was to remind me I have just a couple minutes before I have to go so I can catch my plane on time," the boy explained to him.

" _When will you be back?"_ Levi wondered, hoping Eren would be gone for just a few days, a week at most. He had never really explained to him how long school actually lasted for, just that he'd have to go back to it at the end of the summer.

"My first break is in four months, so probably then," the boy said, trying to sound reassuring.

However, when Levi heard those words, after he let them sink in, against his will, his face began to crumple and he could feel his throat tighten with the threat of tears. Four months? Four whole months without Eren? It sounded like a nightmare come to life. A weekend without him was hard enough. But this long? And Eren wouldn't even be staying after he got home, he would just go back to school again?

Levi tried so hard to hold the tears back. He was being stupid and childish and selfish, he knew. It wasn't like Eren was leaving him forever. But he had grown so used to seeing him every day, had grown so dependent on his presence for comfort, for his own happiness, for his own _sanity,_ that the thought of being without it was suddenly too much to bear. He felt the first few traitorous tears slip down his cheeks, and he wiped them away furiously.

"Oh Levi, oh no, no no, sweetheart," Eren crooned, his heart breaking at the sight. "No, please don't cry. If you cry then I'll cry too." As if to prove his point, the further he got along in his sentence, the more strained his words became, tears sympathetically stinging his eyes in response to Levi's. "I'm sorry, I'd visit more if I could, but my school is across the country, and"-

" _Don't,"_ Levi said, shaking his head hard, _"Please don't apologize. I'm just- I'll stop in a second. I'm being selfish. It's just four months, why am I acting like this?"_

"It's a long time," Eren sniffed, wiping his nose, "But you're not being selfish, or ridiculous. Or if you are, then I am too. Because I don't want to leave you either. Shit, I'm going to miss you so much."

Levi let out a whine, long and mournful at hearing his own thoughts reflected by his boy. He heard another one of Eren's alarms go off, this one making his heart race and his chest ache, because he knew this one probably meant that he was going to leave him now. He was going to get up and walk out of this tank and Levi wouldn't see him again until the summer heat was a distant memory and snow was beginning to fall around his tank. Until he forgot all the little details in Eren's face or how his fingers felt running through his hair. Someone else would be feeding him now, climbing up those stairs and visiting with him. But he didn't _want_ anyone else! He wanted his boy! And he was terrified that if he was left on his own long enough, the impulse to hurt himself that he'd been fighting all summer would return with a vengeance. And if that happened…

Without a second thought, Levi launched himself up out of the water and threw himself at Eren, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing him tight. Eren caught himself with one hand to avoid being knocked backwards, and when he processed what had happened, he returned the hug just as fiercely. He felt Levi nuzzle his face into his shoulder desperately, the mermaid whimpering, his fingers curling into the fabric of his hoodie and holding on tight. Eren could practically feel the bruises forming from the strength of Levi's embrace, but he didn't care. At the moment, it was everything he needed.

 _Don't leave me,_ Levi seemed to be screaming, even without words, _I'll do anything you want so that you'll stay._

"We'll be alright," Eren said with a shuddering sigh, not sure if he was trying to convince himself or Levi, "It'll pass in no time. A-And you'll have Hanji and Moblit, and I know Sasha will let you play with her otters again. They'll take care of you until I come back, and when I do I'll visit you every day, and we can play or do whatever you want."

Levi just squeezed him harder, his tears falling faster, and Eren felt them seep into his shoulder. The mermaid was trying so hard to convey through his embrace, _But they're not you. All of that stuff won't mean anything to me if you're not there to share it with me._

"I know, I know," the boy rasped. "I'm so sorry Levi, I have to go now. But I'll get in touch with you as soon as I can. I mean, I'll be busy, but I'll try really hard, okay?" He felt Levi's crying pick up. "Shh, it's going to be okay. You have to let me go now, alright?"

Levi shuddered, and with a great effort, did as he was told. When he leaned back to look into the mermaid's face, Eren felt his stomach twist. His friend's face was a mess, covered in snot and tears and his cheeks blotchy; he couldn't recall a time when he had ever looked so upset, and Eren was the reason for it. He cupped his face in his hands, stroking his cheeks and wiping his tears away with his thumbs.

"I'll come back," Eren said, feeling tears drip down his own cheeks, "I promise. Until then, just know that I'm going to be thinking about you every day and wishing I was back here with you."

Levi sniffed, the sound wet and overly loud in the stillness. His eyes were still filled with tears and red around the edges, and his fingers were still spasmodically tightening around Eren's hoodie, but he managed to pry one of his hands away and to Eren's surprise, tap the base of his throat. The boy lit up when he saw the gesture, and mirrored it, tapping his aquamarine gemstone.

"I promise," he whispered, leaning forward and gently kissing Levi's forehead, "You won't lose me, not again."

Levi chuffed, though the sound was congested, the meaning still came through, and Eren gave him one final, lingering kiss on his forehead again, before he slowly stood up. He backed out of Levi's arms gradually, though everything in him was screaming to stay in them because they were safe, they were _home._ Levi only lowered his arms when Eren brushed past his fingertips. They stood there staring at one another mournfully for a moment, Levi marveling at his beautiful boy with his gem for attracting mermaids, and Eren at his precious mermaid with his heart and voice for attracting humans. It seemed as though they were doomed to fall for each from the start, and the irony of his helplessness in spite of his declaration to avoid love at all costs was not lost on Eren.

"See you later kid," Eren said with a smile, wiping away the last of his tears.

" _Bye brat,"_ Levi replied silently, trying to return the smile and failing.

The mermaid watched until his boy backed away from him, watching even as Eren climbed down the stairs, keeping their gazes locked until at last he disappeared over the stairs. Then Levi dove down below to where he knew the tank overlooked the hallway inside the center, and watched Eren leave, pressing a hand to the glass. But his boy didn't see him, or hear him. Nor did he hear Levi's quiet, pleading clicks that begged for him to come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys!! There’s a blog I follow on tumblr titled askmermanlevi, and I sent them an ask and got a response in the form of art and it’s Levi with otters!! I guess you could even consider it kinda sorta art for the last chapter lol: http:// writerforthetylwythteg. tumblr. com/post/175695383415/ askmermanlevi-he-likes-playing-with-otters Oh my god, please, all of you, go check out their blog, their art is so precious and wonderful! And they told me they’ve read this fic! Thank you again, owner of askmermanlevi, for responding to my silly ask and reading this silly fic and creating this gorgeous art!! You are doing God’s work for us mermaid lovers, haha!


	21. Good Journey, Love

By the time Eren was almost done unpacking, Armin finally arrived in their room. He greeted him with a hug, and then the boy offered to help him unpack as well.

"So how was your summer?" Eren asked from his bed, curious, but knowing that whatever Armin had done couldn't possibly beat the summer he had had.

"Not bad," his friend replied, maneuvering his desk into the corner of the room he wanted it in, "Got the plans down for a new kind of shark cam that is more durable than the current models and will last longer. I started to build it a couple of weeks ago, but I ran out of time before I could finish it. Guess I'll just have to keep going when we get our first break. Pretty boring stuff, really."

Eren rolled his eyes into the heavens. "Oh my God, Armin, only you would call inventing a new piece of technology that could change the way we do our jobs boring."

Armin snickered. "Alright then Eren, tell me what you did that was so much more exciting. Pretty sure sitting in a lab all day and typing up notes isn't exactly orgasm inducing."

"No, but getting to work with the aquarium's mermaid all summer kind of is."

Armin's desk stopped moving with a hilariously loud shriek, and he fixed Eren with a look filled with unabashed surprise. Eren couldn't have held back the shit eating grin on his face even if he wanted to; it took a lot to surprise Armin, someone who knew seemingly everything. But he was just as much of a sucker for mermaids as his roommate was, and that was enough to get him to drop everything and scamper over to the bed.

"Holy shit," he gasped, dropping onto the mattress beside him, "They actually have one? A real, living mermaid?"

Eren shrugged nonchalantly, "Well, a mer _man_ technically, but yes."

Armin wheezed like someone had punched him in the chest. "But I thought they weren't real? No one has ever seen one before!"

The older boy smoothly whipped out his phone and cockily opened it up to the album he had saved up of all the pictures he had taken of he and Levi that summer. "Tell that to my phone, Arlert."

Without even asking, not that Eren minded, Armin took his phone and began scrolling through the whole album, his eyes growing wider and wider, his small frame practically vibrating as he did so. Eren just laughed, "Don't drool on my phone, please."

"These are amazing," Armin commented, eyes practically sparkling. The pictures were so wonderful to look at and reminisce over; so many selfies, some with Levi smiling, others with him scowling. Some pictures of just Levi's fascinating tail or his pretty hair shining its many colors in the sun. Many were of Levi just being Levi. Napping in Eren's lap, sunning himself on the rocks. Others were videos Eren had taken, of Levi greeting him as he entered the tank, all enthusiasm and chirps and squeals. Levi purring for him. Levi doing little spins in front of the glass in the area below the tank, or pressing his nose to the glass and making Eren crack up. Levi leaping around his tank to Try Everything. One was even of the two of them dancing that Hanji had managed to sneak of them, but Eren had loved it so much that he had asked her to send it to him.

"He's really pretty," Armin remarked.

Eren couldn't hold back from sighing, and he could practically feel the heat leaking into his face. He also sounded like a completely lovesick idiot when he breathed, "Yeah, he is, isn't he."

His roommate did not miss that tone in his voice; one would have to be completely daft to. He looked at Eren shrewdly for a moment, before he shook his head at him and said woefully, "Oh Eren, Eren. Another poor sap we can add to the long victim list of the sirens?"

"Yeah, you bet," Eren said, "Put my name at the top of the list and tattoo it on my back for all I care, in big bold letters. He's just…I never expected to- and yet…oh Armin."

"Well, tell me about it," his friend said, bouncing up from the bed and going back to his desk, "Entertain me while I finish moving this crap around and unpacking."

Eren got up to help him, getting on the other side of the desk and helping him to scoot it towards the wall, considering it wise since Armin was so frail he might pull a muscle if he thought too hard, never mind doing any heavy lifting. "Well," he began, "We definitely didn't start off as friends…"

And off he went, babbling about everything and anything he could remember from the past summer, so excited that he couldn't help but spill every detail. Well, almost every detail. He glossed over the more grotesque parts of Levi's abuse and his own. Armin did know about Reiner and that he abused Eren in the past, but he didn't know all the details that Levi or his parents did. Armin for his part thankfully was enthusiastic in all of the right places and sympathetic when he needed to be as well. He acted interested in everything Eren had to tell him, but of course the older boy knew the part Armin really wanted to hear about.

"So when did you realize you liked him?" Armin wanted to know, taking a rest in his desk chair.

"A while ago, but I didn't say anything about it until just this morning," Eren admitted. "I mean, given everything that happened with me and Reiner, I was just so scared to say anything, and truth be told I'm still scared of feeling like this towards another person. But with Levi, I think things will be different. I mean, it was so hard to leave him this morning, and I already can't wait until our first break so I can see him again. That has to count for something, doesn't it?"

Armin nodded. "I'd say so. And I also think that when we graduate, you have to take me to meet him. No, I demand you take me to meet him. It's not fair that you got to hog one of, if not the only, male mermaid in the entire world right now."

Eren pretended to think about it, before saying, "Well, don't throw any parties or hold any cult orgies in here for the year and I think we can work something out."

The other boy gave him a look of mock devastation. "Well then what the hell am I supposed to do all year?"

"Pray you'll finally hit puberty?"

He had a pair of shoes thrown at him for that. The first one missed, the second one did not.

Later that night, after the lights were turned off and they were trying to get some sleep before their first day of classes, Eren found that he couldn't help himself. He grabbed his phone, put in his earbuds, scooted under his blankets so that the light wouldn't disturb Armin, and found himself revisiting the album that contained all of his pictures and videos of the aquarium over the summer.

His smile grew and grew as he flicked through the pictures. Some of them he had taken just in the heat of the moment because Levi was doing something particularly cute or amazing, some of them he had taken because he knew he'd want them for when he was on the other side of the country. But how was it possible that he already was missing Levi when he had literally just hugged him this morning?

Eren could barely hold back a snort as he pulled up the video Armin had looked at before where Levi was feeling a little extra silly that morning. He had begun to figure out about what time Eren arrived to see him, so when Eren came down the hallway, he had been swimming by the glass, and when he had caught sight of him, he had stopped and began clicking insistently. When Eren had gone over and greeted him by pressing a hand to the glass, Levi had placed his hand in the same place, before letting himself start to slowly float upwards, his tail rising while the rest of his body stayed where it was. He then turned himself upside down, keeping his hand on the glass, and it was then that Eren took out his phone.

"What are you doing?" Eren heard himself ask in the video.

Levi just let himself float upside down for a bit, his tail rising even more until he was almost completely horizontal. He leaned up and nosed the glass where Eren's hand rested, before his pointed ears gave a little twitch and he rubbed his body and face against the glass where Eren's hand was like a cat against its owner's legs.

"Did you miss me, is that it?" the boy asked, "I was here not even twelve hours ago."

The mermaid gave an insistent coo, and kept bunting the glass, rubbing his cheek against it. The boy laughed softly, hearing the little thunks his head was making. "So needy. Yes, we can see how unloved you are in here. Spoiled. With a capital 'S'."

But then, Levi moved forward a bit more and pressed his nose flat as a pug's against the tank, causing Eren to snort so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. When he saw the reaction he got from the boy, Levi making silly faces at him, crossing his eyes, sticking out his tongue and pressing his lips to the glass to make them look like huge fish lips. Eren had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as he listened to his own deeply amused ugly laugh in the video.

"You goof," Eren kept laughing, his laugh growing louder when he saw how hugely Levi was smiling at him, showing off his pearly white, overly long canines.

" _Hurry up,"_ he was saying, before reaching back up to paw at Eren's hand.

"Alright your highness, on my way," he had answered, before the video stopped.

However, Eren found himself playing it again, and another time more, loving the warm feeling that filled his chest every time he relived that moment. It took a long time before he could bear to shut off his phone and leave himself in the darkness of his new room. It was as if Levi was keeping him company still with his silly antics and his smile.

Eren was surprised by the wave of loneliness and longing that crashed over him suddenly. It was then that he truly seemed to absorb his situation. He could hear students in the common room being loud, could hear people milling about the hallways, all sounds of dorm life. All signs that he was hundreds of miles away from the aquarium, and that if he wanted to see Levi, it was no longer as easy as hopping in the car and making a thirty minute drive. He couldn't see anymore, not for a long time. There could be no more late night drives to his tank if sleep eluded him, or purrs or cuddles or even songs to soothe away his anxiety. For at least four months, every time he looked at a box of tea or a bar of chocolate, he'd think of Levi and have to push down the impulse to save some of it for him, knowing he couldn't run over to the tank and give it to him to share.

Guilt welled up in the boy very harshly then. He and Levi had only told each other how they felt about the other that morning, and yet it seemed so far away. And then right afterwards, he had left. Eren felt like he had abandoned his friend. No one else knew sign language very well at the aquarium. Who was going to translate for Levi? Who else would be there to spend time with him, keep him happy and company, stimulate his mind and play with him? He knew even Hanji and Moblit became very busy, often spending weeks away from the aquarium travelling to different parts of the world for their research. And he couldn't imagine Levi being comfortable with letting anyone else into his home. He may have been better around humans but he still distrusted many of them.

He wondered how Levi had done today without him being there. Eren knew how odd it felt for him to have their routine broken, and he had other things to keep him busy now, school mostly of course. Eren was all Levi had, and now he was gone. The boy's chest ached and his stomach felt queasy, part of him wishing he could fly back home tomorrow and tell Levi that no, never mind, he was staying home. His cries and the way he had hugged Eren so tightly before he left, as if trying his hardest to physically keep him from leaving broke his heart. He knew he'd never forget the way Levi seemed to age twenty years in just seconds the moment he told him he wouldn't be coming home for many months.

"I'm sorry," he found himself whispering to the blackness under his blankets.

Was Levi missing him right now? The thought of his mermaid being in pain over him made his stomach twist, especially knowing there wasn't anything he could do to help. Deciding he couldn't take it anymore, he reached for his phone again and unlocked it, before sending a text to Hanji, asking how Levi had been that day without him. Of course it was too late for her to answer him right then, but he hoped he'd have an answer in the morning.

He only received an answer as he sat down for his first class while he waited for his professor the following day. When he saw the text, he quickly opened it, eyes scanning rapidly over Hanji's reply.

"He was better than I thought he'd be," she had answered. "He ate all of his meals, greeted me when I came to see him. But of course he wanted to know how you were, I don't think he asked me less than twenty times if you had made it to school safely and when I said I hadn't heard back from you yet he demanded I tell him the moment I did."

Eren smirked. Of course he had. Just then, another text came through.

"Something is different about him though, Eren," Hanji's new text said, "He won't stop smiling and he was actually nice to everyone that came near his tank today. What did you do to him before you left?"

The boy sighed. He figured he might as well tell her, she was going to find out at some point anyway. He texted back, "I kind of admitted to him this morning that I had feelings for him and it turned out he felt the same way. That might be it."

The reply came barely even a second after he sent his own. "HOLY SHIT are you serious? Finally, I'm so proud of you!"

Eren shook his head in disbelief. "What do you mean, 'finally?"

"Eren, sweetie, everyone knew you two had a thing going on. Me, Moblit, your parents, Mike, the janitors. The only ones who didn't seem to know was you guys. But better late than never, right?"

He rolled his eyes and replied, "Just take care of him for me as best you can until I get back, please. It sucks how much I miss him already."

"I can do that. And I'll tell him that, because he's not even trying to hide that he misses you too. You'll be back before you know it."

Eren didn't text back, partially due to the fact that he didn't have anything to say and partially because his professor chose to walk in at that moment. Instead, he put his phone away, taking a moment to stare at his wallpaper, a picture of him and Levi posing for a selfie, and found himself wishing hard he could go back to that day.

Alas, the second of their perfect summers had to come to an end again, and it did so the moment he put away his phone.

000

Levi felt rather the pathetic the day after Eren left. The very next morning, he had been woken by the sound of feet on the ladder, and before he was even fully conscious he was zooming out of his cave and rocketing to the surface, kicking himself that he had slept so late. He had begun cooing and trilling sleepily, rubbing an eye lazily, anticipating Eren's face to be the one that would pop up over the rim of the tank. But of course it wasn't, and the moment he saw that it was just one of the keepers, he was pushed harshly into full awareness. That's right, Eren wasn't here. He was at school. He wouldn't be here to feed Levi his meals again for a long time.

The keeper had watched Levi's face twist from being on the verge of tears at his realization to a deep frown. How dare this keeper come in here and do what Eren used to do for him. How dare he try to take his place. That was Eren's job and no one else's. So when the keeper tentatively reached forward and gave Levi his breakfast, he snatched it away with a growl and disappeared under the water again, frightening the poor keeper so badly that he fell backwards and all but raced out of the tank when he got to his feet again.

As Levi ate in his cave, he found the anger bleeding out of him to be replaced by sadness once more, especially when he turned on the crystals in his cave again. Even looking at those anymore reminded him of Eren, how the boy had been so awestruck by the fact that they lit up. He sighed heavily. The cave was so quiet now, only the lapping of the water breaking the silence.

Hanji had told him yesterday that Eren had made it safely to school, that he wanted to know how Levi was doing and that he missed him. That made him feel better for a bit, hearing an update on his boy. But only for a while. Hanji had tried to distract him yesterday by hanging out with him and asking Levi to teach her sign language, and to his surprise she was quick to learn. It certainly hadn't been a bad way to spend the afternoon, and it would provide him with something to do in the future. But then of course Hanji had to leave and do her other work, promising him she'd be back later. And she had come back, and they had joked and talked as best they could, though their conversations were mostly one sided. Levi certainly didn't mind Hanji, as she was fun and passionate about learning as much about him as she could and talked about the aquarium from a much different perspective that interested the mermaid.

But she wasn't Eren.

He knew it wasn't fair comparing everyone in the center to the boy he had such strong feelings for, but he couldn't help it. No one could measure up to him, even if they were as kind and caring as Eren, they just weren't him. And suddenly he was just so angry and upset that the people here just _weren't Eren_ and that his boy was so unfathomably far away, too far away to soothe Levi in the magical way only he could that he found his appetite fleeing. And truth be told, that terrified him, because the only other time he had felt like this was the time before he had met Eren at the aquarium, and he could feel his heart begin to race in panic. The cave walls began to fuzz and suddenly he had a hard time breathing. He couldn't go back to those days when he felt so scared and weak.

He placed his palm against the cave wall, dropping his fish and trying to focus on breathing, despite the fact that it felt like his chest was being squeezed by a vise. He had the strong urge to shoot to the surface where he wouldn't feel so closed in, but he didn't think he'd be able to take a deep enough breath to make it all the way there.

This had to all be a bad dream. Yes, that was it. He would take a nap today and when he woke up, Eren would be back. He'd be waking him up and telling him how silly he was for thinking that he'd ever leave him. Then he would let Levi crawl into his lap and hold him tight and shush him for as long as he needed, as long as it took for his panic to be soothed away, until it and the fear of Eren leaving would be a distant memory. And if he didn't come back after Levi napped, perhaps he'd be back the next morning. Or the next, or the one after that. He'd keep trying for as long as he had to.

The thought calmed him down long enough for him to take a deep breath and swim out of his cave, not stopping until he got to the surface. He swam to the end of the stone pathway, where he knew Eren would be sure to see him, and pulled himself out onto the rocks. They were warm from the sun, and though they weren't as comfortable as his kelp bed in his cave, they would do. He kept his tail in the water as he laid down, resting his head on his arms and turning his face towards the ladder. It would be alright, he told himself. It was just a bad dream. Yesterday morning never happened. Eren was still here. He was just late today, and he'd be by to see him soon. He wouldn't abandon Levi.

He _wouldn't._

With that, Levi closed his eyes, comforting himself with thoughts of his and Eren's reunion for when he woke up.

He managed to drift into a shallow nap with a dream he found he could control and indeed, Eren was there. Levi's head was in his lap and he was holding him around his middle, face buried in his stomach while Eren's hands rested on his shoulders.

"Levi," he was saying above his head, "Come on kid, I have to go to school. You've got to let me up."

The mermaid just shook his head, stubbornly holding him tighter. When he opened his mouth, he found he could speak to Eren in the boy's own tongue, something he secretly longed to be able to do.

"You don't have to go to school," he said petulantly. "You should just stay with me."

"Levi"-

"No. I said you don't have to go. So you don't have to."

The boy laughed down at him and leaned over him to tickle his sides, causing Levi to squirm and giggle. "Alright you. I'll stay. You're stuck with me now, alright?"

Levi just hugged him tighter. "And you love me, right?"

He felt Eren kiss his shoulder and rub his back, before he murmured by one of Levi's pointed ears, "More than the moon loves the sea."

The mermaid groaned and kept his face hidden against Eren's abdomen so that the boy wouldn't see his blush. He had told him a while back that this was something mermaids often said to each, and when one said it, it was seen as the end all, be all in terms of expressing love for one another. For his kind, the moon and the sea were the centers of their entire world. The moon beckoned the sea for every time the tide rolled in, and the sea answered. It made Levi's heart pound hard to hear it from Eren, made his face flood with heat so quickly that he felt dizzy. He curled his fingers into Eren's shirt as he clung to him.

"I love you too," Levi breathed.

"I'm right here," Eren breathed above him, "Right here, Levi."

Just then, a loud banging sound jolted Levi awake, pulling him from his dream. He sat up groggily, Eren's voice still echoing in his head. He realized quickly that the banging had come from one of the residents in the neighboring tanks, probably someone smacking into the wall of their enclosure while they played. Several smaller bangs followed, following by frisky whistles and clicks. Levi sighed. It was probably the dolphins. He never saw them, but he heard them often through all hours of the night and yes, it sounded like they were indeed playing. Arguing over something trivial at the moment though. It appeared someone had bitten someone else's tail too hard. Levi shook his head. What savages they could be.

Once they grew quiet, Levi heard something else, a human voice this time. A human voice calling his name. He strained his ears, craning his neck to look around and see if he could see who it was. He then chanced a glance up to the sky; the sun had moved quite a bit and was directly above him now. So much time had passed since he had slept. And this voice calling for him, it was male. His heart began to pound with excitement. Could it be…?

Levi straightened up as far as he could, sneezing with excitement. Perhaps it was because his dream was still so fresh in his mind, Eren's warmth still lingering on his face, his shoulder still tingling with his kiss and his ears still tingling with his sweet, soft words. Perhaps it was because he was already becoming so desperate, but he could swear that was Eren's voice filtering up towards him.

The mermaid began answering back, crying and trilling and squeaking, sliding back into the water and swimming up as close to the ladder as he possibly could, straining his neck so he could see. The stone in his enclosure prevented him from getting any closer than a few feet. That didn't matter to him though. When he heard footsteps beginning to ascend the ladder, his whistles and shrieks began to take on a wet quality as tears sprung up in his eyes. He even began to mouth his boy's name, trying as best as he could to call it out, though his poor tongue couldn't make the word sound like how the humans did, so it came sounding warped and not at all like how he wanted. He hopped onto the stone, pulling himself across it with his arms to get as close to the ladder as possible.

Then, he saw a mop of brown hair appear over the rim, and his crying picked up tenfold, Levi sounding desperate even to his own ears. He knew it, he knew Eren would be back. His boy would never abandon him, not by choice. Everything was okay now, everything was-

But it wasn't Eren that appeared over the ladder. Instead, the one with the brown hair was Moblit, a bucket in hand. Levi smelled the fish inside, but didn't care about them. He wilted in front of Moblit's eyes when the man made it into the tank. Moblit halted for a moment, seeing Levi sag and all of the light go out of his eyes, wondering what on Earth he had done to create such a reaction.

"Levi, hey," he kneeled down so that he was more on the mermaid's level, "I brought you lunch. They thought it might best if I did it. You scared that poor kid who gave you breakfast this morning so bad that he wouldn't even come within sight of your tank."

He was smiling at him, and his face was very kind. He looked sympathetic too; he knew who Levi was hoping to see, judging by how excited he sounded when he heard Moblit calling his name. The man sighed when Levi didn't respond, keeping his gaze locked with the ground. He decided to try a different tact.

"Eren's been texting Hanji throughout the day," he said, "checking in on you of course. Wanted to make sure we were feeding you the right stuff, checking up on you everyone once in a while…said he was missing you again, of course. Wishes he was here with you."

At those words, something welled up within Levi, something anguished and furious all at once. His shoulders tightened, his hands balled into fists, and his eyes narrowed as he glared at the stone in front of him. If Eren missed him so much, then why wasn't he here with him? What was so great about school that he had to just leave Levi here in favor of going there? Why couldn't he have-

…why couldn't he have taken Levi with him? Why did he have to leave him here all alone?

Moblit watched the mermaid uncertainly, seeing his expression shift from heartbreak to rage and back again, wondering what was happening and more importantly, what he should do about it. This was the problem with Eren being gone, for the boy had a magical ability to soothe Levi with just a look or a few words. Moblit on the other hand…well, he had a chunk missing from his wrist to prove that he could do no such thing for the mermaid. Still, it pained him to see him like this, especially when he knew why it was happening. As such, he felt he had to try his best to help Levi, no matter the risk.

"Hey, I know, I know you miss him," Moblit said, too afraid to speak Eren's name just in case it made things worse. "But he wouldn't be happy if he knew you haven't eaten decently today, don't you think?"

He began reaching for Levi, intending to comfort him with a soft touch as he said, "Besides, the time will pass before you"-

Before he could finish, he saw Levi lunge towards his hand, teeth flashing, and heard his jaws snap shut inches from his skin. Moblit retracted his hand as quickly as he could, but managed to stay upright, eyes wide with shock. He simply stared at the mermaid as he continued to bare his teeth, growling lowly at Moblit, a warning for him to not try touching him again. The scientist simply stared at him, stunned.

" _I don't want you,"_ Levi signed, though he knew the man wouldn't be able to understand him, _"I want Eren. And I'm not eating anything you bring until I see him again."_

Before Moblit could ask what the hell had just happened, Levi scooted away from him until he could slip into the water, disappearing from Moblit's sight and only leaving a few bubbles on the surface and Moblit's hammering heart as proof he had ever been there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took forever to get out, guys! I had a project to do and I ended up getting sick last week, but it's all good now! The semester is almost over, so the next update should come sooner than this, then I'll try and go back to my updating once a week schedule until the next semester starts up again! So while I'm here, I have to give a shoutout to Eveningstargazer's amazing fic, Let Me Take Care Of You. Oh my god guys, please go and check it out, I'm so in love with this soft, sweet fic you have no idea. It deserves all the attention, and the author is so kind, so please, drop everything and go check it out! Chapter title is from appropriately Turn Loose the Mermaids by Nightwish.


	22. They Will Guide You From the Light

Eren's heart was hammering as he made his way down to his first therapy appointment for the year. He had made it soon after he promised Levi he would, calling up the campus and making his appointment before he could chicken out. Part of him was secretly dreading going, knowing what sorts of awful things he would have to relive as he was there, and another part of him wondering if they'd even be able to help someone as messed up as him. But then he remembered why he had done this in the first place, and forced his feet to keep carrying to the small building just off campus grounds.

He wanted to make himself into a better mate for Levi. He already felt so confused. He liked Levi plenty, as far more than a friend. Deep down, he wanted to kiss him and hold him, and it felt right to do so, but there was always that nagging voice acting like an unnecessary alarm in the back of his mind. It screamed at him when Levi leaned in for a kiss that the situation was dangerous, that the last person that had kissed him like that had done it just to make Eren fall for him, to make him trust him so he could abuse that trust later. That Levi was just doing the same thing, even though logic yelled back that that idea was ridiculous.

He hated the person Reiner had turned him into. Someone that, while he held these feelings of wanted to love Levi, was too afraid to act on them. He was too afraid to trust and let himself be vulnerable. It had been a monumental effort just to tell Levi how he really felt, and it had felt good to get the weight off his shoulders and to hear that the mermaid felt the same way, but he found himself balking at the thought of going any further than that. Not being able to kiss the person you felt so strongly about wasn't normal, he knew it.

Eren was going to fix himself. There was no other choice, because he couldn't keep living like this. Neither he nor Levi deserved it.

He let himself into the building, the door tinkling as he did so. After he nervously greeted the receptionist, he was given some standard paperwork to fill out, and took it over to his seat to do so. Before he did, he took a moment to take in his surroundings. The building almost looked like a large house. It was small, comforting, with soft music playing out of a small set of speakers in the corner. There was even a water fountain with water running over rocks in the corner as well, and craning his neck Eren could see there were a couple of koi fish swimming around lazily. How fitting, he mused, of course even the therapy office on the campus of a college who's most popular major was marine biology would have fish in there.

Comforted by the soft, homey atmosphere of the building, Eren started on his questionnaire. Most of the questions were pretty standard, just trying to get a bit of his history so they could get to know him better. He was a little surprised at how informal it was compared to most of the paperwork a doctor's office made you fill out, but he kind of liked that. Then there were some that asked about his anxiety levels, and those on their own made him even more anxious for some reason. Probably because when he looked at the end result he could see what a truly nervous wreck he was, and of course, the questions about depression made his chest feel even heavier than when he started. However, it was when he got to the questions about love that things began to get interesting.

Mostly because he had no idea how to answer them.

_Are you currently in a relationship?_

Eren, to his relief, felt a smile pull at the corners of his mouth. No, he wasn't in a conventional relationship, but when he thought of holding Levi's hand, of calling him his own, he felt his stomach tingle and felt his chest warm right up. The rightness of it all prompted him to answer "yes."

_If yes, how long have you been in this relationship?_

_Oh shit,_ Eren thought, sighing to himself. He supposed he'd have to tell the truth. A little less than a week officially, he wrote down, but they had known each other all summer.

_Are you sexually active with your partner?_

Eren wanted to tear out his hair.

_Are you interested in sex?_

That one was a lot tougher than he thought. Of course he had been when he and Reiner had first started out. In fact, the two of them had been insatiable. He was so embarrassed thinking back on it now. At the present moment, he was surprised when he realized he hadn't thought about sex, or really even the need to rub one out pretty much all summer. He had been so focused on Levi and his fear of Reiner that the desire had never manifested itself. Well, unless Eren counted that time when Levi had gone into heat and sung for him. That song had practically been a ballad designed to both relax Eren and get him horny at the same time, and whenever Levi had sung for him, even when he wasn't in heat, it always left Eren feeling an odd combination of sleepy and aroused all at once. He knew Levi hadn't meant for that to happen in those cases, but he couldn't exactly help the nature of his songs.

But at the same time, Reiner had been his first experience with sex, and therefore, all Eren had to draw from in terms of experience for how sex was supposed to be. Yet, logic told him that sex wasn't supposed to be a form of manipulation or a way to cause undue pain to someone else; it was supposed to be a way to become closer to your partner, an intimate experience where you showed vulnerability and shared pleasure with someone you trusted more than anyone else. A way to deepen your bond.

However, Eren wasn't sure he could ever trust anyone in that manner again. Did he want to? Yes. That was the reason he was here, so he could learn how. In the meantime though, he supposed he would have to answer, "maybe" on the list. If his therapist wanted a deeper explanation, he'd be happy to give it of course.

It was soon after that to Eren's relief that a young lady came in saying she was going to be his therapist for today.

"After today when we're done assessing your needs, you might want someone else," she explained, "I am just an intern here. But for now, I figured I could help you."

"Oh that's alright," Eren told her, "If you need the practice, I'm happy to help."

She led him into one of the rooms before sitting down across from him in her chair. Eren had to admit, the actual offices in this place were also very nice. They felt comfortable, almost like the inside of someone's home, and he immediately began to feel himself loosening up.

"So Eren," she began, "tell me a bit about yourself and why you're here."

The boy took a deep breath, before explaining about how he had just gotten out an extremely abusive relationship, and had sworn off of love and relationships since then. But of course over the summer, everything had changed. He didn't let her know that the object of his affection was a mermaid; he figured that might be too much to explain. Instead, he kept things vague in that area, staying on the point he wanted to address.

"I just admitted to him that I liked him right before I left for school," Eren finished. "I feel horrible that I waited that long, but I was so scared to say anything. He felt the same way, and I'm so happy he does. It's what I've wanted and yet…I'm still terrified. I've lashed out at him before I think because I've been so scared and angry, and I know a lot of those feelings have been because I haven't really dealt with what my ex did to me. And I know that's what's preventing me from moving forward. I'm still scared and my trust in a potential romantic partner is so lacking. I also have no idea how to take charge of this situation or what I should be doing. Reiner was the one who dictated how we should do things, so I feel lost."

"Eren, it's alright, slow down," his therapist assured him, holding up a hand in a calming gesture. "I'm very happy you were able to tell me everything that you were. I can only imagine, based on the hints you've told me, how horrendous your last relationship was, and rest assured I can understand fully why it's so hard for you to trust. Building trust isn't easy either, but I'm telling you, coming here was a good first step. Now, first of all, how about we lay out a goal or two for you. What do you hope to get out of your time here?"

The boy thought about it, and was happy to note he didn't really have to think hard. "Well, I came here mostly because I want to be a better partner for Levi. I want to not be scared to be with him. I want to teach myself that being with him won't be like being with my ex. That I can trust him. But more than anything, by the time I finish up the school year, I think I want to be able to be brave enough to kiss him."

The therapist finished writing that down for him. "Okay, I think that's a good place to start. Now, I just want to start off by telling you, and I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but take it from someone who's going for their master's in this stuff isn't just one of your friends: what you're experiencing is completely normal for someone in your position. You're not broken, and you're not worthless. You've been hurt, yes, and very badly, but you are still worthy and capable of romantic love, I promise you. If that weren't true, I know Levi wouldn't feel the way he does about you. He believes you're worth it, even if you don't right now. And don't you think his opinion matters in that area just a little bit?"

Eren sighed, having no idea how to reply to that, but figuring he couldn't really dispute her logic.

"If Levi thinks you're worth something, if he's stuck with you for this long, he's probably right."

He figured he couldn't dispute that either, despite his desire to. She smiled at him, and continued, "Now I think above all else we're going to have to retrain the way your brain thinks, both about yourself and others, specifically about how it perceives romantic love and relationships. It's not going to be easy. Cognitive behavioral therapy never is. But if you're determined, I think we can make this work."

Eren thought about his promise, thought about the mermaid he left behind at home, thought about how it would mean the entire world to him if he could manage just one kiss with him, and nodded his consent. The therapist beamed at him when she saw that.

"Good!" she exclaimed, "Now, today, with that, I think we can start by getting a couple of other things straight here. It's going to take you a long time to learn these things, but I thought we could put the ideas in your head today to get you used to them. First of all, we have to change how you view romantic relationships. We have to get your to learn and unlearn several things. We have to build your trust with Levi and get you to unlearn all the negative things your ex put in your head. We're going to teach you that you are in control and that you no longer have to go along with whatever your partner says just to make them happy. Now tell me Eren, has Levi ever tried to manipulate you? Take a minute or as long as you need to think hard about that."

Eren did so, quickly going through the rolodex of his memories of the past summer, flitting through each one to look for any evidence of manipulation on the mermaid's part. However, he found that actually finding any was hard, next to impossible even. He couldn't find any behavior of Levi's that resembled Reiner's, even though Eren had become hyper-attuned to the signs in the past few years. No, he found he never had to put up the same defenses around Levi that he had to around his ex, and that there was never an incident where he didn't feel helpless or emotionally out of control. Well, except when Levi had been almost recaptured by Trost Sealand, but that hadn't been the mermaid's fault, and he hadn't asked Eren to dive down to the bottom of the tank and save him. He also had tried to kiss him, and that had made the boy nervous, but he hadn't been forceful about it, and as soon as he said something, Levi had backed off and hadn't tried to push things.

"No," Eren eventually answered, pleased that he could say so. The therapist seemed to search his face for a minute to see if he was really telling the truth, or just saying that to cover up something. But the boy didn't waver, repeating, "No, Levi has been nothing like my ex. He's never made me feel afraid. And even though he's saved my life a couple times over the summer, he never made me feel like I owed him anything. But that's why I feel worse about being too afraid to even just kiss him. I like him back, I want to kiss him, he's shown me I can trust him, so"-

"Eren, shh, no," she put up a hand to halt his rambling train of thought, "you just invalidated all the good things you said. Things that are true, correct?"

The boy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yes."

"It's a common habit of many people who feel insecure in themselves to follow up good statements with self-deprecating ones that negate anything good they just said. So we're going to break that habit. Soon you'll be able to say, 'Levi has never made me feel afraid or like I owe him anything' full stop. Period. No self-deprecation or guilt to follow."

"…Alright."

"Like I said, you've built these patterns of thought up for years. I hear your hesitation, and just so you know, it's going to take a long time to break them as well. So you can't get discouraged from not seeing results right away. Now, for right now, since you're so nervous about going into this new relationship and are, in your own words on the questionnaire, are convinced you're too damaged to ever enter into a healthy relationship, let me ask you to do something for me. I want you to think about the other relationships in your life."

Eren blinked at her for a moment, confused. "I don't have any," he said slowly.

She smiled at him and gave a little laugh before insisting, "Yes you do, silly. 'Relationship' doesn't just mean 'romantic.' Most relationships are platonic or familial. So tell me Eren, how are the other relationships in your life going?"

Once more, Eren paused, and found himself flipping through another rolodex of memories, these ones of his family and friends. Luckily, he didn't have to think long or hard before going, "Good, I think. My parents and I are close. Like, if I needed anything all I'd have to do is call, or if I had any problems I know I could sit and talk to them about anything. They've certainly proven that with this whole mess involving Reiner. And my friends are the same way. I have my friend Mikasa that I've known since we were little kids, my friend Armin here on campus, and I think I made new friends in my supervisor and her assistant this past summer. I mean, Hanji likes to text me memes and Moblit keeps sending me marine biology jokes, so…yeah."

"See? Do you see what you just did?" she asked him. When he didn't respond, she explained, "You just proved to me you're capable of making not only meaningful relationships, but long lasting meaningful relationships. So to me, that's a sign that you can do the same with a romantic partner. The building blocks are the same; trust, love, empathy, and opening yourself up. So, you can do it Eren. You just need to have faith in yourself that you can."

He opened his mouth to argue, and found to his surprise that he couldn't. He sat there in stunned silence for a few long moments as he absorbed her words. Not only did they make sense, but they made sense to him so much that it scared him a bit. How was this lady able to completely stop and derail a train of thought that had been running through his head so purposefully for years?

"I…never thought of it that way," he finally said. "Wow."

"You see?" she added, "A little logic is sometimes all you need. It's helped me more often than not. Sometimes to stop certain thoughts it's as easy as introducing irrefutable logic. I mean, when you can't argue against it, you have no choice but to accept that it's fact."

Eren gave her a shrewd, teasing look. "Oh, you're a sneaky one, you are. How dare you."

She just offered him an innocent shrug. But still…her words eased Eren in a way he hadn't experienced for several years, and he wondered…

"So," he found himself asking, "What other little tricks do you have?"

000

Hanji and Moblit had tried their best with Levi, they really had. They had been trying to keep up the new routine Eren had set up for him, but found it was just too difficult. They were just so busy, while Eren's entire purpose had been to spend time with Levi, and they were dedicated to doing other things at the aquarium. The time to sit with Levi and keep him company just wasn't there for them. He didn't blame them of course; Levi had told them several times that he didn't. That he understood. And Levi tried to keep his chin up. And yet…

His irritation was slowly fading away after a week of it being there constantly. Granted he was still grouchy if approached without care or sympathy, something he had proven when he had nearly taken a finger off of a keeper when said keeper told him to "buck up" during a feeding time. But now that anger was being replaced slowly by fear, all consuming fear. The longer he went without seeing Eren, despite updates on his boy and promises that he'd come home during his first break, the more anxious Levi became. For example, it wasn't unusual for Hanji or Moblit to look at the cameras and see him pacing the length of his tank for hours, taking breaks on and off. He would always poke his head out of the water every few minutes before letting out a series of short, sharp, cries before freezing, looking around and straining his ears, listening with all of his might. After a few beats of quiet, he would begin whining like an anxious dog, before he began pacing again, and the whole process started all over again.

They had no idea what it could possibly mean, until they came into work one day during the second week of Eren's absence to feel the pavement in the parking lot vibrating. When they got closer, they could hear several of the animals crying and squealing, and they charged in through the double doors.

Hanji stopped the first employee she saw, which happened to be Mike, and asked, "What is happening? Is there an earthquake or something?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I went to check it out, and it's loudest near the mermaid tank, but I didn't dare to go any closer."

That was all it took to send Hanji and Moblit racing towards the restricted area of the aquarium, and indeed, the closer they got to Levi's tank, the more intense the vibrations became, vibrating through the infrastructure of the aquarium itself. The polished walls and stone floor groaned, and the wooden and steel beams shook. Hanji even spotted a tiny crack that appeared in front of her eyes on the hall wall as they ran to their offices. They wasted no time in flicking on the monitors, staring intently at Levi's tank, almost expecting him to bashing at the walls or something with the level of commotion that was going on.

However, he was the exact opposite.

Levi was poised in the middle of his tank, under the water, and though he was slightly hunched over, he was perfectly still. And at that moment, the vibrations faded out, just as Levi's tail and shoulders relaxed slightly. However, just a second later, Levi tensed back up and the vibrations started up again.

"What in the actual fuck is he doing?" Hanji wanted to know, squinting at the screen.

It was then that Moblit noticed the hydrophone monitor was peaking like crazy, and he pointed over to it, saying, "Let's grab a pair of headphones."

They did so, scrambling for the pairs they kept near the monitors and plugging them in, before placing them on their heads. However, they were shocked when all they heard was a soft, guttural rumbling that faded in and out, followed up by exhalations for when Levi stopped and took a breath at the surface. They listened for several minutes, Hanji shaking her head in confusion.

"This doesn't make any sense," she said, half to herself. She didn't look at Moblit either as she spoke, choosing instead to regard the counter. "Clearly he's making the noise that's causing the vibrations, but it's so quiet over the hydrophone, and feels so intense under our feet. It doesn't match up?"

She began to rub her temples and growled quietly, "Ugh, if only Eren was here. He'd know how to fix this. He knows Levi best and he was the one who specialized in marine animal communication."

Moblit sighed, letting his cheeks puff out. "Should we call him?"

She shook her head. "No, not now. Just let me think."

They were quiet for a minute, save for the continuous vibrations that only put them on edge, before Hanji sat up with a gasp and began patting Moblit's arm.

"Wait wait wait," she said breathlessly, "Let me record some of this."

She did so, saving it to a flash drive, before placing the flash drive into the laptop in front of Moblit, all but pushing her assistant out of his chair in her sudden frenzy. Moblit tried to scrabble out of the way but, too late, she was almost sitting on him, and he decided to just do his best to peer around her. But he couldn't quite see what she was doing.

"What is going on?" he finally dared to ask.

Distractedly, Hanji replied, "I am running…the recording I just took of Levi's calls…through the computer. I was wondering maybe there was something we were missing. After all, many of the sounds Levi makes are too low or too high for us to hear. So I thought I'd slow the recording down…let's try it at one fourth of its original speed."

A few tics of the computer later, followed up by then plugging their headphones into the laptop and a purposeful tick as Hanji pressed "play" on the screen, and the sounds of Levi's call was playing at a much slower speed. And just a second later, they had to rip their headphones off where they fell with a clatter to the counter. Hanji also jumped out of the seat, Moblit nearly following, except he found himself almost falling in a heap on the floor, only just barely managing to catch himself.

"Holy shit," Moblit wheezed, twisting his pinky inside one ear.

"Yeah no kidding," Hanji agreed, wincing.

They could still hear Levi's cries through the headphones, and she quickly hit "stop" on the screen. For even without the headphones on, when she had slowed down the speed of the recording, suddenly the reason for the vibrations and the distress calls of the other animals at the aquarium became clear. At this speed not only were Levi's calls loud, they were practically deafening. And not only that, they were almost screams, guttural, horrendous, profound, and continuous. It sounded vaguely similar to the sound humpback whales made during their mating seasons, except far more distressed sounding much harsher on the ears, of course.

"Alright, well we've solved one mystery," Moblit pointed out. "But that doesn't explain why he's making this sound. Or why it's so damn loud."

Hanji glanced up at the monitor again, seeing that Levi hadn't moved at all from the middle of the tank. However, his low, guttural crying was punctuated by soft whimpers occasionally that squeezed her heart. When he began the low, loud calls again, a tiny crack appeared in the wall across from them.

Moblit found himself saying, "If he doesn't stop this he might cause cracks in the piping or other parts of the building that really shouldn't be cracked. Actually, I'll be shocked if he hasn't put cracks in his tank already."

Hanji swore, having not thought about that. Not only was Levi's tank in danger, but the other tanks surrounding his as well. They had to figure out a way to stop him, but before they could, they had to figure out what in the hell was causing him to make such an awful noise.

Then, all of a sudden, it hit Hanji like a whale being dropped on her head.

"Eren…" she found herself breathing. "He's-that's it! That's it, that's it Moblit!"

"What's it?" he asked, growing slight afraid of his lunatic colleague. That _look_ in her eye was back, the look she got whenever she discovered something new, and he wondered if he should stay and listen or start running. However, considering if he ran he might miss the solution to keeping the building from collapsing on their heads, and considering that yet another crack had appeared in the floor beside them, he remained where he was.

"Eren's the answer," Hanji explained, spinning around so that she was facing him, leaning in so she was an inch from his face, "Like he always is when it comes to Levi doing weird things. That sound he's making, it's a low frequency call, we saw. Both land animals and marine animals make those sorts of calls when they want to be heard at a long distance. For the mating season, or to mark their territory, what have you. He's calling for someone, as long and loud as he can. The pacing he's been doing all week, and the little short, high pitched cries he was doing, he was making those for the same reason. But they weren't working, so he's trying this. He's calling out for Eren."

He let her words sink in, and the longer he sat there, the more they made sense. And once they made sense, he could feel his heart breaking inside his chest. Judging by the expression on Hanji's face in front of him, the way she went from manic excitement at her realization to her soft frown and how the light had dimmed in her eyes, he figured her heart was breaking for the mermaid too.

They both watched Levi on the monitor for a moment in stunned silence, now knowing that Levi, in the space of two weeks, was already hurting enough and desperate enough for Eren that he was working himself up into anxious frenzies daily and using long distance calls that were so loud that he was sure to shred his vocal chords and lose his voice for days. On some level, he had to know that there was no way Eren could possibly hear him and respond to his calls, but perhaps he didn't. Perhaps he really thought if he did this for long enough, Eren would eventually hear him and come racing back. They knew if Eren was anywhere within the vicinity, he would, without hesitation. If he could hear Levi right now, could hear how torn up he sounded, like it was literally killing him that he wasn't receiving a response from his boy. But the fact that he hadn't given up yet, that he was so loyal to Eren was both so sweet and so heartbreaking that for a moment they had to breathe through the pain of the realization.

With horror, when their eyes met, they saw in each other's faces a severe lack of any idea of how to help Levi. After all, they couldn't exactly put Eren on a plane and have him come home already. It might comfort Levi for the time he was there, but eventually he'd have to leave again and they'd be right back where they started. And they couldn't keep having Eren come home every time Levi acted up. It would affect Eren's grades before long, and it would teach Levi that every time he threw a tantrum, Eren would be brought to him. Then he would just keep repeating this behavior over and over again.

And yet…

Yet, if they sat here and did nothing, everyone would suffer. They couldn't bring Eren home, and he couldn't stay where he was...Hanji sighed and shook her head as she watched Levi continue to cry and call.

It was going to be a long four months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to dedicate this chapter to Eveningstargazer, not only because they have been so kind and wonderful in their support, but because they are a therapist, and helped to assure me that I was on the right track with the copious amounts of therapy speak in this chapter lol. Thank you so much! I did base Eren's experience off of my own experience with my on campus therapist, and I enjoyed it very much. And thank you so much to the rest of my amazing reviewers who have stuck with me since chapter one of this fic!


	23. Unwanted Beauty, Desired Self-Hatred

Hanji should have seen this coming.

Really, she should have. If she hadn't been going so crazy over the new mermaid fossils discovered, maybe she could have done something about it. Or maybe not. But when she stepped into the aquarium a week or so later and heard singing coming from Levi's tank, she immediately began mentally berating herself before she went through and began rounding up the male employees that she could that were beginning to head toward the restricted section like a bunch of zombies.

She supposed part of her was so surprised that Levi had gone into heat because Eren had said the other time of the year mermaids did so was in the fall, and the first official day of fall had yet to pass. So she figured with a heavy heart that this was yet another side effect of the boy leaving. Levi was so traumatized by Eren's departure that it had brought it on early. And it had been brought on at all because Levi's instincts deep seemed to understand that Eren was his mate, and though his logical mind knew why Eren had left, those instincts didn't want to hear it. They were desperate to get Eren back, and so when the long distance calling had failed, they had risen up with the most potent weapon they had at their disposal; the promise of heat, of sweet songs, sweet smells and even sweeter kisses. Of tender breeding, Levi keeping Eren close with his embrace and whispering soft words into the boy's ear, promising him that he'd be good, he'd give Eren whatever he wanted, all the sex and caresses and kisses he could desire, anything so that he'd stay.

Anything so that he wouldn't have to feel like this anymore, like someone had scooped out his insides and left him hollow.

Once all the men were secured and told to take the day off, Hanji decided it was time to see what she could do to help ease Levi. However, as she got closer to the tank, even though the song didn't possess her the same way as it did the men, she still felt it cutting to her core. It was almost like a physical force that weighed her down the closer she neared. The song was the same one he had sung the first time, but there was a much heavier element of melancholy added to it this time. It sounded more like a funeral elegy this time and less like a romantic ballad.

Her suspicions were only confirmed when she finally arrived in the tank, climbing the ladder as quietly as possible in an effort not to startle the mermaid. She didn't make those final few steps to being physically inside the tank though, not at first. Instead, she simply watched. Levi was where he had been before, sitting at the edge of his stone pathway. Even from this distance she could see that his body had changed itself for breeding; his skin had gone rosy, his lips redder, and his tail that pretty deep blue. He looked like a pretty little doll from the waist up, something sweet and demure and innocent with a beguiling voice that Hanji knew masked a dangerous killer.

And yet it was hard to remember that fact when she saw how upset Levi looked as he sat there.

The poor thing; he looked like it was physically paining him to sing, and his song lacked the sweet, enticing quality it contained before. Levi himself didn't look like he even wanted to _be_ in heat. He was just a slave to his own raging emotions and instincts. It was as if he had just surrendered to them in hopes that his songs would draw Eren in like they had before. So, like the loyal little puppy he was, he continued to sing, pausing only for a breath when he needed to.

Hanji sighed. He looked exhausted, his face was already losing its roundness. True to his word, Levi was refusing to eat anything they offered to him, even when they told him he was doing it for nothing, that they couldn't bring Eren back to him. And yet, defiantly, he remained obstinate, ignoring anything they placed in his tank, and now instead resorting to his own methods of getting Eren back, since they wouldn't do it for him.

But Hanji noticed this time around, even though Levi's body had changed to make him look more appealing to passing humans, he didn't look nearly as bright and beautiful as he did last time. Part of this was probably due to his thinning body the other part…well, she knew it was because he knew the one he was singing for probably wasn't going to appear.

When Levi came to the end of his song, he paused and slowly looked around the tank, perhaps looking to see if anyone was coming. Men had been coming before, but their presence didn't please the mermaid. If anything, they made him angry. But at least then someone had been responding, and he had held out hope that one of those faces had contained the pretty green eyes he was searching for. Alas, so far, no avail. Yet instinct commanded him to keep trying, to keep singing until his beloved appeared. There was no other option.

However, before he could start up his song again, he happened to see Hanji. Well, he saw her glasses peering at him over the top of the tank, the rest of her obviously being too cautious to enter. He decided that was wiser on her part, especially when her mere presence immediately made him start growling.

"Easy," she murmured, though in the quiet air he still heard her just fine. "I'm not going to come in any further."

Levi's head knew she was no threat, of course. But his instincts were furious that his singing had not only failed to attract the one they desired the most, but instead had attracted someone of the opposite gender instead. His upper lip curled back over his teeth, and the growling hiss he directed towards her, sounding much like a crocodile's went right through her. If she hadn't known better than to come any closer before, she certainly knew now.

Once he was certain she was going to stay put, the mermaid gave her one last warning growl and dove back down into the water, before reappearing near a rock further away from where he had been. He pulled himself onto it, before turning his back towards her, and resuming his song. Never before had Hanji been so blatantly told by any creature other than a human that she wasn't wanted and to go away.

Realizing there was nothing she could do for him at the moment, Hanji shook her head sadly to herself and descended the ladder.

It turned out that both Levi and the rest of the aquarium were in this for the long haul. Nothing they seemed to do could distract the mermaid enough to pull him out his heat, and they were too afraid to use drugs on him to reverse it when they didn't know how he'd react to them, just in case. His heat ended up lasting for much longer than the last one had, mostly because Eren wasn't there to pull him out of it this time. All in all, the men at the aquarium had been forced to take an almost two week holiday, an almost two weeks that Levi spent singing nonstop, all hours of the day and night, only pausing to take short, hard naps before he'd start right back up again.

However, when he came out of it, he seemed to almost be a shell of the once vibrant creature that used to whizz and chirp around his enclosure, bright eyed and hair shiny and skin beautiful. By the end of his heat, when they observed him sitting there still as a statue at the end of his stone pathway gazing up at the stars before they left, it looked as if all of the life had been drained from him. He had been completely silent since he stopped singing, probably mostly due to the fact that his voice had all but given out from the constant strain, but Hanji couldn't help but wonder if he was also choosing to be silent as well. His eyes and hair were dull, his skin greyer than usual and his ribs trying to poke against his skin. He seemed to be searching the stars for something they couldn't give him, a last ditch effort to seek hope where there didn't seem to be any.

That was the problem. Levi was losing hope. He was losing hope that he would ever see Eren again. Hanji supposed she couldn't blame him; if his most potent weapon, one of the very things that made him a mermaid, couldn't call his boy back to him, then that must have meant nothing could. That must have meant Eren was gone forever, that he had abandoned Levi to his lonely fate here at the aquarium.

There was that, but Levi was also at war with himself, remembering that Eren promised he'd be back. He didn't know what he should believe anymore. He wanted to believe Eren, but his fear of history repeating itself, of things going back to the way they were before Eren found him here, threatened to overwhelm him.

 _He can't go on like this,_ Hanji thought to herself. But their options were limited. They could force feed Levi, but she knew that wouldn't go over well. Not only would it be painful and terrifying, but it would destroy the already feeble trust Levi had in her and Moblit. That would be a last resort, she figured. And they couldn't tell Eren, otherwise he'd spend all of his time worrying instead of concentrating on school.

But if they didn't get him to eat soon…

Hanji found herself pacing her office wondering what she could do until she practically burned a hole in the floor, Moblit trying his best to ignore her and pack up for the evening.

"I know the answer is going to have to do with Eren, but I mean, we can't call him here, we've already established that," she was muttering to herself, "But if we don't do anything I have no doubt he'll starve himself until he gets very sick. He's already so lethargic he barely swims much anymore. He just hangs out on that rock. That could be because he's still waiting for Eren to come back, but"-

She stopped in the middle of her pacing to start tearing at her own hair and said dramatically, "Ugh, Moblit! This is what we get for taking in a creature with such high intelligence that's so good at manipulation! This wouldn't be happening if we decided to rescue some sea slugs or frog fish or something!"

Moblit sighed. "But Hanji, you would be completely bored by sea slugs or frog fish. You'd complain they'd turn your mind to mush because there was no challenge involved in taking care of them."

She made an exasperated sound and continued her pacing, but Moblit smirked. He let her keep going like that for a moment until she suddenly stopped and gasped so loud and so harshly it sounded like she was trying to inhale half of the room and it made her assistant jump into the air.

"Holy shit, what?" he exclaimed.

"I have it!" she burst out. She then trotted over to the filing cabinet, still chanting, "I have it, I have it, I have it," rapidly.

Moblit watched her open a drawer and begin to flick through files while she mumbled to herself, until she finally pulled one out with a flourish.

"Yes!" she said, "Thank God it's here, I was afraid we had gotten rid of it!"

"And…And what is that?" he finally dared to ask.

"Eren's file," Hanji explained.

"Um…okay?"

"And…yes! He wrote down his emergency contacts in here!"

He continued to watch her, dumbfounded, as she whipped out her phone, quickly dialed in the number on the paper, put it up to her ear, and waited. She was muttering to herself, "Please pick up, please pick up," before the person on the other evidently did so, because she was standing at attention with a huge smile on her face a moment later.

"Hello, Dr. Jaeger?" she asked brightly, "Yes, this is Dr. Zoe, from the Sina Aquarium? If you wouldn't mind, could you relay a request to your wife from me, please?"

000

Levi had retreated to his cave the next day to escape the sun, and even though it was cooler down here, it was much lonelier. At least while he was on the surface he could listen to the activity of people around the aquarium and it gave him the illusion that he wasn't by himself. He could listen to the humming of several filters in his tank and the tanks around him, the bustling of the staff and the distant chatters and squeals of the patrons in the front of the aquarium. However, there were now a few noises missing. The dolphins that used to live in the tank next door to him had been taken the day before, and when Levi had asked Hanji about it, she had explained they had been released back into the ocean. So now, the only company he had had when the keepers and scientists weren't around was gone, and the background noise they provided that kept Levi somewhat calm was also missing.

Now Levi was well and truly alone in the back of the aquarium.

The mermaid sighed, leaning back against the wall in the part of the cave that let him keep his head above the water. All he could hear down here was the lapping of the water and the muffled sounds of the filter. At one time when he had first arrived here he had found the silence comforting because it had meant that no one was hurting him and that he was safe. No sound meant no humans. But now it set him on edge. It left him alone with his endless stream of relentless thoughts, thoughts that went in circles, thoughts that screamed at him that he should have behaved better, that he had driven Eren away somehow. He knew they were irrational, but he couldn't help it. If he had been a good boy, Eren would have stayed, that was all he could think. He tried to pinpoint what he had done to upset him, what could have possibly made Eren want to go to school to get away from him, but he couldn't find anything. He had been so careful, so good, so attentive. He hadn't even begged Eren to stay, though he had wanted to badly. He would never make Eren stay if he didn't want to. Levi would rather hurt himself the way he used to than make Eren uncomfortable in any way or make him do anything he didn't want to do.

Levi discovered that the one benefit of starving himself was that now he was too weak to do much of anything but sleep. That included not having the energy to stay anxious for too long, or to think too hard either. Starving himself had been an interesting and surprisingly easy venture, he discovered. Though his empty stomach had been painful at first, he realized it was nothing compared to the pain or emptiness in his heart. The mermaid leaned his face against the crystals, their green light soothing him just a bit before the pang of longing for his boy every time he looked at them stabbed his chest.

Missing Eren seemed to be the only thing he had the energy to do anymore.

Just then he heard an odd, muffled sound coming from somewhere above him. His ears twitched with interest, as that certainly didn't sound like any of the keepers. It was short and sharp and rapid, and somehow distantly familiar. He peeled himself away from the wall, listening harder. But from this depth, he found he still couldn't tell what it was.

He wondered if he should even bother going to check it out. It wouldn't be Eren. But maybe going to the surface again and seeing what was making the strange noise would be better than sitting here in his cave and being stuck with his horrid thoughts. It didn't sound like Hanji or Moblit up there either, but he couldn't think of who else would be visiting him. If it were them, perhaps he could be civil to them for a bit. Just so he'd have someone to talk to. Someone to tell about how miserable he felt. He knew it was all on him, but maybe they'd understand.

Steeling himself for the swim, Levi took a few deep breaths and let them out, breathing in and out several times to stretch his lungs, before he finally let himself sink under the water and swim out of this cave, before making his way towards the light at the surface. The more he rose, the clearer the sharp, rapid sound became, and the clearer it became, the faster he made himself swim, excitement suddenly urging him on. It couldn't be, could it? But that sounded an awful lot like a dog barking, and the only dog he knew that visited him was-

He broke the surface with a loud exhale, frightening poor Fern from her place on the rocks. She jumped, but remained where she was, sitting in front of a lady he knew. In fact, when he processed who she was, his mouth fell open in shock. Eren's mother turned to look at him when Fern turned her head to do so, and she smiled at him in greeting. When Levi only sat there in the middle of his tank treading water, she beckoned him over with a wave of her hand. He hesitated for a moment more, before swimming up to the edge of the stone, placing his hands on it while Carla met him there. She knelt down in front of him while Fern sat down at her side.

" _Hello sweetheart,"_ she said, _"Sorry about that. I don't trust my own voice to call you, and I knew if I asked Fern to bark, there was a better chance you'd know who she was and come up to see us. Hanji called us last night and said you're feeling more than a little miserable without Eren here and wanted to know if I could come and cheer you up."_

Before he could reply, he watched Fern creeped forward towards him, before stretching her neck as far as it would go and kissing his face, covering it in soft, hesitant little licks. Levi scrunched up his nose, but he didn't mind the kisses, not one bit. When she pulled back, her nub wagging, Carla didn't miss the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth, and commented, _"See, it's already working. Kiss him again, Fern."_

The dog did so, her kisses growing more enthusiastic until Levi laughed his rumbly metallic laugh. He ended up scratching her behind the ears, looking up at Carla when she saw her hands begin to move again.

" _Just so you know, I miss Eren too,"_ she said, _"I always do when he goes away to school. When he's home, he's the only source of company I have, besides Fern, because my husband is away at work for most of the day and night and even when he's home, he can be called into work at any time."_

He let go of Fern to ask, _"How do you get through it?"_

She smiled down at him. _"Well, I have more options available to me than you do. I get out, I go into town, I volunteer. I visit friends. And I feel bad because I'd offer to take you with me to these things, but…"_

She trailed off, but that was alright. Levi knew what she meant to say well enough, that his options were even more limited than hers were. He watched as her eyes roamed over him and widened slightly, and he heard her gasp quietly.

" _Levi, sweetheart you're so thin,"_ she said with horror, _"I mean, they told me you hadn't been eating but…oh, honey."_

Levi let his eyes drop to the ground and he shrugged, not knowing what to say. It was his fault he was like this after all. Fern leaned forward and nosed his temple, snuffling through his hair, and he found himself leaning into it a bit. He then felt a hand in his hair, which almost made him jump, but it was so gentle, and when the hand slid down to cup his cheek and lift his face upwards he didn't resist. His dull, tired eyes met Carla's bright, concerned ones, and when she rubbed her thumb over his cheek he felt himself release an exhausted sigh.

" _You know,"_ she explained, _"There's something else that helps me feel better when I'm lonely. I don't know if Eren told you about it, but sometimes we video chat."_

The mermaid nodded, confirming that yes, Eren had explained the process to him. Not that he had understood most of it, but he got the general gist. It was like talking on those phone things that everyone seemed to have, except he'd be able to see the person's face on the screen of the computer things everyone had.

Speaking of…

At that moment, Carla reached into a large back she was carrying that for some reason Levi hadn't noticed she'd had until that moment, and pulled out what he recognized as a laptop. She sat down on the rocks in front of him while she turned it on, and he watched curiously as she typed on the keyboard. He craned his neck, trying to somehow find an angle where he'd be able to look at her screen and see what she was doing, but as the back was facing him of course it was impossible. It wasn't until she began signing to him again that he finally understood what was going on.

" _After I got off the phone with Hanji, I texted Eren to see if he'd be free today, and he said he should be for an hour,"_ she said with a gentle smile. _"So I'm checking to see if he's on Skype right now, and we can call him and he can talk to you for a bit."_

Levi felt his heart begin to beat faster. Though he didn't understand all of what she said, he got the important bits that he needed to out of it, mostly that he'd be able to talk to Eren. He'd really be able to see his face, hear his voice and…Levi's chest already felt tight. The need to see his boy was suddenly overwhelming. But just as overwhelming was the sudden fear that he'd discover somehow that Levi hadn't been eating while he was gone. He knew Eren would blame himself if he saw his thin face, and wondered with sudden horror if Carla had already said something to him.

" _You didn't mention about how I'm…not eating, did you?"_ he asked, face coloring with shame.

She quickly reassured him, _"Don't worry. I didn't say a thing. He'll either figure it out for himself, or you'll tell him. Besides, I think I have an idea as to how we can change that around."_

Before he could ask what she meant, he heard the sound of the computer ringing, and he tilted his head like a confused dog at the sound while Fern sniffed the monitor. It rang a few times, until it cut off, and after some odd rustling sounds, Levi watched as Carla's face lit up, and she began signing excitedly.

" _Hi sweetie! I'm so glad you could make it. I know, I can't believe they're already giving you so much work there, but that's school for you. Oh well, he's right here, ask him yourself! He's um…he's very excited to see you! Here, let me turn you around."_

She turned the laptop around in her lap, and with a jolt Levi realized he was face to face with Eren, his grin taking up the screen. He waved to the mermaid, and Levi jump in surprise, even more so when Eren actually spoke.

"Hey Levi!"he greeted, practically bouncing in his seat, "How's it going over there?"

Levi froze in shock, wondering how Eren was speaking to him right now and what exactly was happening. He supposed he had missed his boy so much that he didn't care what shape or form he saw him in, just that he did. But still, his curiosity got the better of him, and before he could stop himself he found himself sniffing at the monitor, before he pawed at the screen, and then chanced a look behind the laptop, as if the real Eren might be hiding behind it. Both Carla and Eren could help but snort at his antics, Eren even adding in an "aww" when Levi _"mrrr"_ -ed with confusion. Carla gently pushed at his shoulder.

" _Just sit back and talk to him as if he was sitting right in front of you,"_ she encouraged.

Levi's heart hammered in his chest as he shakily signed, _"Hey Eren. It's going alright over here. You know, the same old stuff that happened while you were here."_

He saw Eren lean in closer to the screen, and even though he wasn't there, the mermaid backed up reflexively. His boy then asked, "Levi, are you okay? You look pale, and your face looks thinner."

 _Shit,_ he found himself thinking, of course Eren would notice. But still, he tried to cover it up by waving his hands in denial, and then assuring him, _"I feel fine. Really, everything is fine."_

Eren shook his head, narrowing his eyes, "Oh you are not fine, you look sick. Do you need me to come out there? Hold on, let me get my suitcase"-

Levi cut him off with a short, sharp bark that cut him off before he could say anything else. _"Eren, Eren. Everything is fine, I swear. Stay where you are."_ It hurt him to say, it really did, because he wanted nothing more than for his boy to come straight to the aquarium and then never leave him again. But he also knew he'd feel horribly guilty if Eren came all the way home and interrupted his studying just because Levi was being selfish and over dramatic. He'd never be able to live with himself if that happened. _"I'm serious. Everything is okay."_

Eren settled back down in his seat, but his eyes stayed narrowed. Obviously he didn't believe him, but he still said, "Alright, alright. If you say so."

Levi changed the subject completely, and he knew Eren could tell he was doing so, but he was also thankful the boy didn't press the matter. _"So how is school?"_

The tension gradually eased out of Eren's face as he answered, "Eh school is school. I was happy to see my friend Armin again, and he was happy to see me. Oh, by the way, he's demanded I let him visit with you at some point. He saw all of my pictures of you on my phone and he thinks you're really awesome and pretty."

Levi nodded along. _"I mean, I am."_

"You are. But yeah, he wants to go into the mermaid field too, and maybe letting him visit you would help him like it helped me. Probably him more so because he's so smart, he'll be able to contribute to the field way more than I have with my piddly ass notes." He laughed. "Armin builds things, really cool things. He'll have to show you."

The mermaid smiled hugely at that. _"Yeah, bring him over, I'd love to meet him."_

Eren leaned back in his chair and looked at something off screen, before he said, "You want to see what it looks like outside my room?"

Levi nodded eagerly, and then watched as he picked up his laptop, he screen shaking slightly as he did so. He turned it around and Levi looked on as it grew closer and closer to the window in Eren's room, before the laptop was carefully pushed past the open window. Levi's eyes widened in awe.

"Since we're grad students, we're away from the center of the campus, more on the edges, so it's quiet here," Eren explained. "That's the field where a lot of the students will play volleyball and stuff, and those are the woods over there. And you can't see it, but just a couple miles away from here is the ocean, and of course for a lot of our courses we go out and have to complete assignments out there. Heh, too bad the aquarium won't let me. I could have brought you here, dropped you off in the bay and then I would have come to feed you every day."

The mermaid laughed, and agreed, _"Yeah, that might be nice. But then I would have to deal with all the noisy boats and crazy humans that would bother the shit out of me. You'd be the only one I'd want to see."_

Eren pulled the laptop back into his room, and when he sat down on the bed again, he answered, "Aw, you're sweet. But for real, Levi, I wish you were here. I miss you so much. It would be so much fun going to classes with you, explaining to you what everything was, playing games with you in the field or exploring in the woods."

The mermaid felt something in his chest squeezing at his heart so tightly for a moment he thought it had stopped beating. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to be there with Eren instead of stuck here in his tank. He wanted to know what all of that grass felt like or what it felt like to be surrounded by so many trees. He wanted to interact with the students he had seen wandering around below Eren's window, or sit next to Eren on the bed right now. He wanted everything his boy was suggesting, and he wanted it so badly it ached. But of course, it was impossible to obtain.

For the first time in his life, Levi hated being a mermaid.

With horror, he felt frustrated tears stinging his eyes, and in an attempt to conceal them from Eren, he quickly asked, _"So how is therapy going?"_

His boy of course noticed the odd shift, but didn't comment on it, angel that he was, and went on to say that yes, therapy was going well. He was surprising himself by how much he was throwing himself into it, wanting to do his best, not just for himself, but for Levi too, and the mermaid was so blown away by that admission that he didn't know how to respond to it. Instead, he just congratulated Eren and told him he was proud of him.

" _Really, I am, you're doing such a good job,"_ Levi praised him. He observed with delight Eren's face lighting right up at his words.

"Aw, it's nothing," he denied, "It's just much easier trying to better yourself when it's for someone else and not for yourself. I don't know why, but it is."

Before Levi could reply, Eren's phone began beeping, and the boy quickly picked it up, cursed when he saw the screen, and shut it off. When he looked up at Levi again, he apologized, "Sorry kid, I have to get going. That was my alarm saying I have to start heading down to my next class. I'll talk to you again soon?"

Levi felt his heart clench and a surge of anxiety rushed up into his throat, nearly choking him. The urge to beg his boy not to go, to not leave him here alone again was on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it down, and instead said, _"Of course you will. Have fun, okay?"_

Eren nodded eagerly, and couldn't resist saying, "Be good, baby. It'll be okay. I'll see you later."

The mermaid waved goodbye and the call ended. Levi felt his heart drop into his stomach and the happiness he had managed to regain from seeing Eren again drained out of him the moment his face disappeared off the screen. Carla noticed the change, and she quickly put away her laptop before telling Levi, _"Now don't worry, I'll make a habit of coming back as much as I can so you can talk to Eren. But,"_ she looked down at him seriously, and Levi grew nervous under her stare, _"I need you to do something for me in return."_

Before he could ask what it was, she looked around the tank, and upon seeing what she was looking for, she asked Fern to go and fetch it. She did, picking up a bucket that Levi recognized as one of his feeding buckets, and he smelled the fish inside. Fern set it down obediently in front of Carla, and she was rewarded with a treat Carla pulled out of her pocket.

" _I need you to start eating regular meals again,"_ she told him once Fern had taken her treat, _"You do that, and I'll bring Eren to see you at the end of every week, unless he's busy. If you don't, well, then we'll try again the week after. Sound fair?"_

The mermaid bit his lip, wanting to say yes, but at the same time…he felt like he'd be giving up. But on what? He didn't want Eren to visit, but at the same time it was all he wanted. He found himself whining with indecision, a long, low, mournful sound, a sound that made Fern's ears perk up. She surged forward and began licking Levi's face again insistently, trying to cheer him up. Carla smiled and laughed through her nose as she watched Levi's mouth began to twitch into a smile as well, unable to stay upset when he was being kissed by such an enthusiastic dog.

When Fern stopped licking him and he opened his eyes, he saw that Carla was holding a fish out towards him expectantly. He looked between her and the dead eyes of the fish several times, chewing his lip. She gave the fish a little shake, and he sighed, his shoulders rising and falling in defeat. He took the fish and after another beat of hesitation, bit into its soft, squishy belly. With Carla watching diligently to make sure he didn't spit it out, Levi resigned himself to his fate. He slowly chewed and swallowed his bite, shivering as it slid into his empty stomach. He took a couple more bites, and then began eating faster when he felt his stomach churn, groaning angrily, hungrily, begging for more. And shit was he glad Carla was deaf and couldn't hear that, because that had been loud. His cheeks colored automatically though.

So, Levi gave in both to Carla, who was handing him the fish, smiling as his reddened cheeks, and his body that was demanding the fish. Like Eren who was trying to better himself for the mermaid's sake, Levi supposed he could try doing the same for his boy.

That, and pray to whatever god was listening that the remaining three months would pass much faster than the first one had. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So school is starting up again, blah, so back to the slow updates again. And I must admit, for Eren and Levi videochatting, I channeled a bit of that deleted scene from Zootopia where Judy and her parents videochat, it cracked me up. Thank you Eveningstargazer for pointers as to how to make this chapter more painful, you're a doll!


	24. A Sparkling Bouquet

"Hey there love, how are you doing this week?"

Levi tried and failed to resist the urge to hide his face behind his hands when Eren said that during their next Skype call a week later. He couldn't tell if it was a nervous fidget on his part or a way to hide his blush. Probably both. But one thing he was sure of was Eren was going to kill him if he kept saying things like that. Levi was a hundred percent sure that his heart was going to explode if Eren kept calling him all of these cute, wonderful things he had been waiting to hear for so long.

Eren, of course, knew exactly what he was doing to the mermaid. "You going to make it there, darling? You're red as Satan's ass."

Levi wanted so badly to flip him off, but he didn't on account of the fact that Eren's mom was sitting right there holding the laptop. Instead, he scrubbed at his own face for a minute before fixing the boy with a look that was part annoyance, part reverence. The shit eating grin Eren was wearing did nothing to diminish the admiration or butterflies dancing around in his stomach.

" _You suck,"_ he chose to answer. _"But I'm doing better this week, thanks. You were right, I wasn't feeling good last week, but things are better now."_

Eren nodded approvingly. "Good. You definitely look better. And well, it's good that you're feeling better this week, because I have someo"-

The boy was cut off with a hand against his face pushing him out of the frame and going, "Yeah yeah yeah Eren, stop hogging him already and let me see him."

Levi blinked with surprise as a small blond boy with huge blue eyes suddenly replaced Eren and began scrutinizing him. Those eyes widened a moment later and he gasped in awe, as if he was seeing a god in front of him.

"Oh my God!" he exclaimed, leaning closer towards the screen. "Eren he's beautiful! Those pictures didn't do him justice. The shape of his nose is so cool, like ours but not, perfect for living under water. And look at how his hair turns all those different colors in the sun, ugh, it looks so soft, and yet so good for repelling water. Can you lift up your hands for me please?"

Levi tilted his head, but did as he was told, wondering what was going on. His fingers were barely in the frame before the boy was squealing happily, making Levi jump and Fern cock her head from her place next to Carla, pricking her ears.

"Look at that webbing! So thin but so strong looking! I can see faint veins in them too, how extraordinary! And what cool claws, somewhere in between human nails and otter claws, oh wow. Eren you lucky piece of shit, I can't believe you got to work with him all summer and I _didn't!"_ Levi saw the boy smack Eren off screen and heard his boy give a yip in protest.

"So yeah, this is Armin," Eren finally explained, managing to squish his face back into the frame.

"Can I see your tail Levi?" Armin, not missing a beat, pleaded. "Please?"

Shrugging, the mermaid did as he was asked, preparing himself for the excited shriek that the boy would let out and he was not disappointed. Holy crap, that was on par with some of Levi's happy shrieks. Armin began fussing and exclaiming all over the place about how similar it was to a dolphin's tail, and yet the small structural differences were so fascinating and, "I wonder how those came about? Eren we have to do some research pronto and see what kind of environments mermaids used to live in that would prompt a different tail shape than a whale or a dolphin. Well go on, pull up the school's database!"

Levi heard some annoyed grumbling from Eren as the boy began clicking on some tabs, staring more intently into the computer. As he did so, the mermaid began chewing on his lip, something on the tip of his tongue, but he wasn't sure how or even if he wanted to say it. Eren was immediately broken out of his reverie when he saw that nervous look on his face, and asked, "Levi, what's the matter?"

He shrugged, and noticed that Carla was looking at him with concern now too. _"Nothing's the matter. I just had a thought, but…well, I enjoy visiting with your mom, and Fern, and I like when Hanji comes…when she has the time. And Moblit is nice too, when he has the time. But they released the dolphins that used to be back here last week, and it's been so quiet back here, so I was thinking, maybe, if I asked Hanji, maybe they'd let some of the people in front back here? To see me?"_

Eren stared at him for a moment, letting his words sink in, before he asked, "So, you want them to let some of the aquarium patrons in the back to look at you like they do the animals there?"

" _Yes. Just so it's not so quiet back here anymore. I mean, I used to have people looking at me all the time back in Trost, so it wouldn't be anything I'm not used to."_

The boy looked dubious. "But Levi, you told me how sometimes too much noise would get to you after a bit. I don't want +that to trigger like a panic attack or something and then have no one there to talk you down from it."

Levi insisted, _"I know, and I thought of that. I want to do this though. Anything is better than just sitting here day after day with nothing to do. Sometimes- Sometimes my thoughts go in directions I don't want them too, and it might help if I had a distraction."_

Eren looked worried again for a moment, then pensive. He finally ended up shrugging, and saying, "Alright. You know what's best for you. If you think this will help, I don't see the harm in asking Hanji about it. Maybe they could do something where they limit the amount of people that can come back and visit you so it's not so overwhelming."

He nodded. _"That might be helpful."_

"And maybe my mom could somehow deliver your request to Hanji since you have a harder time getting ahold of her. Just tell my mom what you told me, okay?"

" _I think she got most of it,"_ the mermaid confirmed, looking up at Carla with a smile. She smiled back and nodded a confirmation that yes, she had understood what Levi wanted and what they wanted her to do.

" _I'd be happy to help,"_ she told him.

When Levi told Eren what she had said, he positively beaned. "Great! Now that'll give you something to do, and hopefully it'll make the time go by faster for us, right?"

Levi nodded enthusiastically. _"I hope so. I miss you so much. I can't even look at the stars at night without thinking of you."_

His boy's expression turned all soft and warm. "Aw, sweetheart I know, I'm the same way."

They stared at each other for a moment, before Carla broke it off with an awkward cough and Armin rolled his eyes with an exasperated groan.

"Oh my God you utter saps," he said, "Can we move on? You can eye-fuck each other later. Right now I need Levi to lift his tail back up to the screen again so I can analyze the shit out of it, come on, let's go." He snapped his fingers at the screen.

Levi rolled his eyes, but did as he was told, posing as Armin took screen cap after screen cap, sneaking sappy sweet comments towards Eren whenever his roommate was distracted, the two of them having a great time making Carla coo at them and winding up Armin whenever they could.

000

Carla had been the one to take it upon herself to relay Levi's request to Hanji and Moblit that very afternoon right before she left for the day. She had explained to them everything Levi had told Eren, and to her surprise, they agreed rather quickly that this was what Levi needed.

"I feel horrible, I told Eren we'd try to keep up his routine," Hanji said to her, "but we just don't have the time. He needs someone paying attention to him and interacting with him for more hours than we can devote to him. He needs something that can keep his mind occupied for all hours of the day so he doesn't stay bored and lonely, and if this is what he say he needs, I agree with him. Between that and you coming to see him with visits from Eren, I think he'll improve dramatically from here. I'll have a talk with the head of the aquarium and see what he says, but I don't think he'll have a problem with it. I'll be a great way to boost sales, at least that's what he'll say."

So, just a week later, Hanji had the gotten the approval from the head of the aquarium with surprising ease, and not too long after, Levi was just about ready to receive his first visitors. There was of course some work done around his enclosure to make things more welcoming for the patrons; some facts about mermaids along the new roped off pathway, warnings to be quiet and respectful and to not tap on the glass, and an overall brightening up of the normally dreary restricted area. Levi's tank was even changed around a bit, enhanced with even more plants and bigger boulders for him to hide among, more shiny rocks for him to decorate with as he pleased, and placed a speaker by the tank that played soft, calming music that was meant to both immerse the patrons further into the experience of meeting a mermaid in their "natural habit" and to keep Levi as calm as they could. They even, to Levi's utter delight, told him they'd schedule "feeding shows" where the keepers said they'd drop live fish into his tank and people could watch him catch them.

On the opening day of his first viewing, Levi was assured over and over again by Hanji that he was under no pressure to do anything fantastic, or even anything at all. This wasn't Trost Sealand; he didn't have to perform to do a good job. Really, all he had to do was be visible and be pretty. He could interact with the patrons if he wanted, but he didn't have to. All he had to do was be himself.

Still, as he heard himself being introduced and saw the doors open, he found that his heart was pounding, and though he had been in front of large audiences of people before, he felt inexplicably shy now. Before, he had been expected to perform or he'd be punished. After that, he'd had Eren with him to act as a buffer. Now he was all on his own again, and when he heard the sound of feet pattering against the hard floor, the sound of many, _many_ feet, he found himself wishing he had Eren here with him again. He wanted the boy there to offer a reassuring smile, or a few soft words. He knew that would be all it took to ease his nerves. But at the moment, they overtook him, and unable to help himself, he darted behind one of the huge boulders, settling back there as he waited for the sounds of feet to stop.

Soon after, he heard the sounds of confused, muffled murmurs from the other side of the glass, and he didn't have to hear their words to know the humans were wondering where he was. Levi felt so silly; he was the one that had asked for this, and now that the day was here, he felt so overwhelmed. He had forgotten that facing these people alone would be so much different than when he had done it with Eren. But even now, he could practically hear his boy's calming voice in his head.

" _It's alright, baby,"_ he heard him say, _"Be yourself and everything will be fine. If you pretend I'm there with you, then I'm there with you, and you won't be alone. Go ahead, say hello."_

Levi felt his lungs burning with the need to breathe, and he figured that was as good a reason to show himself as any. All Hanji said he had to do was act natural, and they'd be amazed by him. The people at Trost had too. But they had seen him perform beforehand; he hadn't performed for this crowd. Then a whole near fear took hold of him. What if they didn't like him? What if he was too boring, and they left him and didn't come back?

The mermaid was torn. But he supposed there was only one way to find out how they would react. He steeled himself, then came out from his hiding place, swimming slowly up to the surface, purposefully, each stroke of his tail calculated, aware of all of the eyes on him. He heard several surprised exclamations and several sounds of awe. When he was finished taking a breath, he dove back down. So far, so good, everyone sounded excited to see him. He decided to warm up to getting closer to them slowly, and began to swim laps around his tank, close to the glass but not too close, deciding to get a feel for who was there and how many there were. He briefly scanned the faces of the people, seeing that there were no more than twenty, and they came in every shape, size, and age.

Immediately, he began to relax. Back in Trost, he had always felt the pressure to keep the people that visited his tank after hours entertained because that seemed to be what they expected of him. After all, he had entertained them with a show just a few hours before. He felt the need to keep doing so when they saw him again, and that had created such anxiety. But now, there were men, women and children here all gazing at him like they had never seen something so amazing before. Like they were blown away simply by the fact that he existed, that the mermaids they had heard so much about were really real, and here was one in the flesh. Hanji was right; Sina's atmosphere was so different. These people came to the aquarium to be educated and to simply enjoy looking at the creatures that lived here, nothing more, nothing less.

So, with that in mind, Levi dared to venture closer to the glass, stopping in front of two small children. Children were less scary to him than the adults were for the most part, except for when they started screaming and hurt his sensitive ears, but these two were being quiet right now. He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he treaded water for a moment, tilting his head at them as he decided what to do next. After a moment, he began by waving shyly, and to his delight he saw the mother of the children kneeling down next to them and encouraging them to wave back. The children did so, and he heard a few "aww"s from the crowd.

Encouraged further, Levi got closer, touching the glass with his hand and watched as the two children mimicked this, placing their hands against his. He marveled at the fact that though he was small for a mermaid, his hand was still bigger than their two hands combined. Then, remembering how it had delighted Eren when he had done it, he let his body begin to float upwards, his tail reaching towards the surface, before he righted himself again, only to let it float slowly back up again. He could see the children laughing, and knew he had done well. Glancing around, he saw that some people had taken out their phones and were recording him, and he grinned, figuring he might as well give them something cool to look at if they were going to do so. Not because he had to; because he wanted to.

So, Levi swam away from the glass, dove down, and then flew back up into the air, breaching the water. He saw everyone light up, watching the trails of silvery and white bubbles that followed him when he dove down, and he arched his tail into certain directions to make pretty patterns with them. He took time to come up to the glass and interact with everyone he saw, saying hello, even pulling a little trick he used to do at Trost that everyone seemed to love, what they used to call "mermaid kisses." He would blow a kiss, and as he pulled his hand away from his mouth, he would exhale, and it would release a trial of shimmery bubbles that followed his hand, causing the recipient to laugh happily, or the children to clap their hands.

And when the first batch of people finally left after thirty minutes and the next ones were due to come in, Levi noted with relief that he didn't feel exhausted, or anxious. Instead, he felt excited, stimulated, and even a bit happy. He wasn't alone anymore. He had, in a sense, friends to talk to and interact with all day, even if the one he desired most couldn't be here with him right now. But he couldn't but think about how proud he would be of him if he could see him at this moment.

000

The next few weeks that led them into fall left Levi feeling many different things. On the one hand, fall meant chillier temperatures, which meant the closing down of the outdoor part of his tank at night, and from now on it would only be opened during seasonably warm days until winter came when it would be closed off permanently. At least during those warmer days Levi could amuse himself by watching the colored leaves fall onto the surface of the water. Some days he even played with them, pulling one or two under water and batting it around, letting the bright spot of red or yellow float in the eerie blue abyss as he danced around it.

Fall was also the time of year when business slowed down slightly for the aquarium. There weren't swarms of people on vacation rushing to visit Sina in droves anymore. The children had gone back to school, and for a bit most of the people that visited Levi were much older or too young to be in school. However, there were a few field trips that happened during these few weeks. Classes of various ages and sizes would come to visit him, and Levi was always more than happy to see them and interact with them, even if sometimes they got a bit over zealous and screeched their excitement. Levi was always quick to tell them off with a soft hiss and they generally got the message. But when they were settled, he was always willing to show off a bit for them, leaping as high as he could manage, twisting in dizzying arrays under water, and making all sorts of vocalizations. Sometime he even did this on command when students would come up to him and tell him they were working on a science project, and he was always happy to lend his voice.

Explaining Halloween to Levi had been an interesting venture. Eren had felt the need to since Levi had mentioned to him the aquarium was going to do a few special things for this thing called "Halloween" and the mermaid had been so confused as to why all the humans had been attaching spider webs and putting fake yellow caution tape near his tank again.

" _I thought they took it down because they know I'm not going to hurt anyone anymore?"_ he had asked him, feeling slightly hurt. _"I've been good."_

"Oh no, no Levi, it's nothing to do with you,"Eren had reassured him. "You have been good, I promise. They're probably decorating the whole aquarium like that."

The mermaid tilted his head. _"But why? Hanji mentioned something called 'Holly-win."_

"Halloween, babe. It's a holiday that humans go batshit crazy over. Based off an ancient festival that celebrated our fall harvests and kept away evil spirits. Now it's an excuse for kids to dress up in costumes and get candy from strangers. Adults dress up too though. But it's also an excuse for people to do anything to scare the crap out of each other. The only time of year where it's acceptable to scare other people and people seem to like to be scared."

" _How…interesting."_

"That's one word for it. I know, it probably sounds completely mad to those who have haven't done it their whole lives."

Levi hummed to himself. _"The dressing up part does sound kind of fun. Too bad I can't dress up though. I think I'd make a fetching human."_

Eren snorted. "You'd probably make a great vampire or werewolf with those fangs too."

" _A…what pire?"_

And that had sparked a new gleam in Eren's eye as the boy prattled on about not only vampires and werewolves, but other cryptids that he had come across and been fascinated with, and Levi was surprised to learn that mermaids themselves had once been considered cryptids. And they had spent the rest of the afternoon talking about cryptids humans had created versus the ones mermaids had, some of them even being eerily similar.

In the end, Levi was glad he had had that conversation with Eren, because when someone had set up a cryptid information booth outside his tank, he was happy that he knew what it was. But what made him even happier was seeing the delight on the faces of the people that came by his tank, seeing how they lit up as they looked at all of the decorations, at the booth, and then finally, at seeing a real life cryptid swimming right in front of them.

When Halloween itself came around, Levi was pleasantly surprised to see many children running around in costumes, just as Eren had said they would be, but he had no idea what half of them were dressed as. However, he had heard they were all here because apparently they could go "trick or treating" at the aquarium if they wished.

As a special treat though, for both his visitors and Levi, they were invited to come and see a live feeding show wherein they would drop live fish into the mermaid's tank and the guests would be treated to the "horror" of him catching and killing them. To make things more interesting, Levi found out the otters would be visiting his tank as well and they would all be hunting together.

There was already a crowd around his tank when the otters showed up with their keepers, the little creatures squirming and chittering with excitement. Levi himself was chittering back, his head poking out of the water and his gaze keen on his friends. When the otters saw him, they perked up and their wriggling picked up, practically pushing themselves out of their keepers arms, the keepers having to bend over quickly to let them go safely on the ground before they dropped them. The otters, all three of them, loped over, greeting Levi each with a quick boop to his nose with their own noses before they dove into his tank, the mermaid sneezing excitedly before following them.

For a little while, all of them circled and whizzed around each other, chasing and playing and darting around the tank while everyone watched with awe. Levi even managed to catch one of the otters under the water at one point, and the two of them rolled around and playfully bared their teeth at one another while the otter tried to escape Levi's grasp. The mermaid was careful not to use his claws, but it was difficult since the otter's fur was so slippery. They only broke apart when they heard the tell-tale splashing of something being dropped into the water.

They all seemed to look up at the same time to see dozens of silver, wiggly fish splashing into water above them, the sun glinting off their bodies. Levi was instantly alert, his body hyper focusing on the fish almost automatically. If he could have seen himself, he would have seen his eyes dilate just like a cat's with excitement. However, he did feel his muscles bunch up in readiness, long forgotten instincts rising to the surface, something in him demanding that he _chase_ and _catch_ and _bite._ The otters taking off towards the fish that were scattering around them only seemed to set him off and encourage him more, and he darted off towards the fish.

He heard their audience oohing and ahhing over their acrobatics, the various sharp turns and twists and barrel rolls they would do around the tank in order to pursue their quarry. The chase awoke something in Levi that had dormant in him for thirteen years; he'd hadn't had to catch his own food since he'd lived in the wild, and this got his blood pumping and his ears ringing and adrenaline filling his veins. His muscles seemed to know what to do all on their own, pushing him to speeds he didn't even know he was capable of, and finding he was just as agile as the small otters was as surprising as it was wonderful. As he chased the little fish, as it as if the walls fell away and he was back in the ocean again, his mother watching proudly behind him.

When the otters caught their fish, they immediately swam to the surface to eat them. However, when Levi finally got his claws into one, he noticed in fact one of the otters was still swimming around searching for a fish. So, after a swift bite to the fish's spine, he intercepted the otter and handed his fish to it, squeaking and smiling softly, trying to convey that it was okay to take it. The otter floated in the water for a moment, staring down at the fish, before it took it gently in its paws and nosed Levi on the cheek in thanks. The mermaid heard the slightly muffled "aww"-ing of their audience as he watched the otter swim towards the surface to join its friends.

Meanwhile, Levi knew there were more fish somewhere, he was sure of it. He dove back down, emitting several clicks on the way there, his mother's voice in his head reminding him that trying to see his prey would be useless. He had to listen for it instead.

And even through the years, Kuchel was right. He heard where the fish were as his own clicks returned to him. He swam to the bottom of his tank and began sifting through the sand, and soon enough, two fish darted out from their hiding place. Without missing a beat, Levi went after him, heart thumping excitedly up until the very moment he caught both of them, one after the other, his claws hooking into their bodies and preventing escape. He killed them by once again biting into their spines, as easy as snapping a pretzel stick between his strong teeth. He heard his crowd applauding him for a job well done, and once he was sure his fish were dead, he made a show of bowing to them, smiling to himself as he did so.

The fish seemed to taste much sweeter than all of the ones he had eaten so far at the aquarium, partially because he had caught them himself, and partially because catching them made him feel like a real mermaid again, even for just a brief moment.

000

The leaves finally finished changing from bright, fiery colors to more drab browns, the last few clinging to the trees in the distance. Or at least, that's what he could see in the couple of small windows in the wall that cut him off from the outside part of the tank, now permanently closed until spring. He missed being able to swim under the wide open, blue sky, but he knew this was for the best. If he was exposed to the cooling temperatures, while Levi himself would be able to cope just fine with it, the water in his tank would freeze. Then the ice would become too thick at the surface for him to break through, and he'd drown. So, until the spring thaw came around, this was how it would have to be.

But this time of year he was also told meant a dip in visitors. The holiday season was coming up, which meant people were too busy to come to the aquarium really around Christmas time, when they would get everyone into the holiday season. January and February Levi was told was the time they were the slowest, when the bitterly cold temperatures kept everyone indoors. However, November was proving to be equally as dull and boring.

He swam aimless, dreary laps around his tank. He had had close to no visitors today, and it was getting close to closing time. Worse still, it had been a few weeks since had heard from Carla, or Eren. The boy's mother told him his school work load was getting very heavy as he neared the end of his semester, meaning he was too busy to talk. And not seeing his boy's face or hearing his voice for so long was weighing heavily on him. Almost literally. For some inexplicable reason, Levi felt like he weighed thousands of pounds, his stomach feeling heavy and cold, and he felt much like he did when he didn't want to eat. In fact, he had skipped his past few meals, not having the desire to eat them when he didn't see a point.

He rose to the surface, though even that seemed to take too much work. Why was he so tired, he wondered? From what Eren had told him about his therapy sessions, it felt like he was experiencing what humans called "depression." Nothing made him happy. And he felt, in his darkest moments, the itch to start scraping his body against the hard, rough rocks that made up his cave. For some reason, feeling that pain and seeing his own blood soothed him. He found himself whining, before switching to a high pitched purr, trying to soothe away the urge.

What would Eren think if he came back and saw that he had hurt himself?

Levi stopped purring abruptly. What did it matter, since Eren was clearly never coming back and had forgotten all about him in favor of his schoolwork? He didn't care about him anymore, right? So that meant he wouldn't care or notice if he made just one little cut?

He cast his gaze towards the edge of the rocks near the stone path. They were rough enough to do the job, he supposed. He made to head over towards them, before he stopped, flinching backwards. No, what was he thinking? Eren would be devastated if he hurt himself. If his boy could find the strength to stop his cutting, then he could find the strength to resist too.

And yet...

Whining with indecision, he quickly dove beneath the water again, watching as the lights in the hallways were flicked off, visible even through the vast blue of the water. The staff members were going to start leaving soon, leaving him alone for another night. Oh God, he wasn't going to have the strength to resist if he knew he was truly here all by himself.

However, just as the last few lights flickered off, he heard a firm, loud tapping sound against the glass. He flinched in surprise, and then felt his ire rise. Yes, this was just what he needed. Some asshole trying to deafen him for their own amusement. He snarled and raced off towards the sound, baring his teeth, ready to tear the person a new one.

And then quite comically and suddenly screeched to a halt when he saw who was standing there, green eyes shining, cheeks red with indescribable happiness, a huge smile eating his face, holding a makeshift bouquet of sparkly, semi-precious gemstones. And when he signed awkwardly around the bouquet in an effort not to drop it, Levi could swear the world almost violently fell away and he forgot that sadness even existed as a concept.

" _Hey kid. I'm back. Did you miss me?"_


	25. November Dressed in May

For a moment, Levi remained frozen, his shock preventing any thoughts from entering his mind, and he could swear he heard a ringing in his ears. And then, with a slight shake of his head, when he finally processed that the boy in front of him was Eren, _his boy_ , here to see him at long last and not a desperate figment of his imagination, everything seemed to be going way too fast and yet not fast enough. Suddenly, he didn't understand why Eren wasn't in here with him _right now_ , why was he still standing there? It was only when he began to run towards where Levi knew the ladder was did the mermaid follow him.

Adrenaline was powering Levi's every muscle and nerve, and he made it to the surface much faster than Eren made it up the ladder. He craned his neck, head bobbing every which way as he searched for that tuft of dark hair. He could hear the footsteps on the ladder, and never had the journey seemed so long. He began pawing at the rocks anxiously, a high pitched, soft noise rising up around him, and it took Levi a minute to realize that the noise was coming from him. Worse still, he didn't have the strength to stop it.

It only became worse when he saw Eren appear, his face still lit up by a dazzling smile and his cheeks still flushed with euphoria over seeing his mermaid again. When their eyes met, Levi's soft, anxious whines turned into wretched, desperate shrieks. He began making sounds foreign to his own ears, braying and baying similar to the sounds dogs made. Sounds that conveyed a want too big for his entire body, too deep and frantic for him to articulate with words. So these animalistic cries forced their way out of him while he pulled himself out of the water and reached his arms up, a silent plea to be embraced. Eren answered his call, setting down his bouquet and pulling the mermaid into his arms. He sat down in front of him, pulling Levi into his lap and squeezing him so tightly that his muscles burned with the strain.

"Hey Levi," he said, so overcome with emotion that he couldn't think of anything more profound to say, "Hey. Hi. Oh my God, I know, I missed you so much too. It's okay, I'm here now. Oh, sweetheart, I'm here. I'm here."

Eren's throat tightened and his voice became wet with tears as he spoke, his arms falling from Levi's shoulders to his middle as the mermaid raised himself up and began nuzzling Eren all his face and neck. The nuzzling was hard, desperate and deliriously happy, one hand holding his boy's head in place as he covered him in his scent, giving little whimpers and whines that sounded more like he was in pain that more than excited beyond comprehension. Sometimes he would throw in an extra loud whine that when he opened his mouth became a long cry, and it just sounded so overly dramatic that Eren couldn't help but laugh wetly.

"Oh the drama," they heard a voice joke beside them.

Eren managed to peek from underneath Levi's arm, though the mermaid didn't stop nuzzling him, so caught up in their reunion that he just didn't care about the outside world anymore. He noticed that it was Hanji, and the smile on her face was as joking as it was sympathetic.

"Hey Hanji," Eren tried to greet her, though Levi did try to get him to ignore her by giving the boy's temple a couple of quick licks before bunting his forehead against it. His claws were hooked into Eren's jacket, almost hard enough to leave holes. He wasn't letting him go anytime soon.

"Thank God you're here," she said with relief, "To say he missed you would be a gross understatement. I don't know how much more pining I was going to be able to stand. Your little fish here is a gross romantic."

"He's _my_ gross romantic," Eren corrected, and then said to Levi, "aren't you?"

Levi replied by hugging him tighter and pressing light little kisses all over his face. He began purring, but purring so hard that his body shook with the force of it. And some of his whines kept leaking through as he purred, so what came out of him was an odd, vibrating warble that sounded so ridiculous Hanji and Eren couldn't help but laugh.

"I know," Eren told him as his laughter trailed away, "it's okay now. It's okay."

Levi kept up his affectionate nuzzles and cries for a good long while, long enough that Hanji left them alone for a while to keep locking up, feeling like she was intruding on something private. Truthfully, she had only come to check on Levi because the shrieks he had been making had made it sound like he was in dreadful pain, or was being attacked. But in the end, it had just been Eren, the boy somehow managing to sneak past her. But she had truly meant it when she said she was thankful for his return. With no visitors to distract him, Levi had been swimming around his tank aimlessly for hours, and she had begun to worry about him. After all, when dolphins and orcas did that in their tanks, it usually indicated they were bored or worse, depressed. It wasn't a long shot to say Levi had started to feel something similar.

After almost forty five minutes that involved finishing locking up, helping the keepers with last minute chores and chatting with a couple of her coworkers, she finally went back to check on Levi and Eren, wondering if Eren was still there or if he had gone home already.

She supposed she really shouldn't have been surprised at all by what she found in Levi's tank. They were both laying there on the rocks, Levi snuggled against Eren so tightly that there were no gaps between their bodies. His head was resting against Eren's shoulder and his fingers were curled loosely in his thick winter jacket, his eyes closed. By how softly and evenly he was breathing, Hanji guessed that he was asleep. Though Eren's eyes were still open, they were growing heavier by the moment, and his head was nodding slightly, indicating he wasn't far behind.

She was shocked at first that were like this at first. They had been so excited a moment ago, and she would have thought that the exhilaration of seeing the other again would have made sleep a dim, distant idea. But no, it appeared that they had become a little over excited by their reunion, to the point that as soon as they were reunited, all of the pent up stress over being apart from the other was expelled violently, like venom being flushed from a wound. All that was left was exhaustion, exhaustion built up from sleepless nights of being away from each other that all crashed down upon their heads in one final, breathless moment.

Hanji was just surprised it had happened so fast. But she supposed it just spoke to how tired they both really were, and how badly they had missed each other, if the relief from seeing each other was so strong that it could knock them both smooth out like this.

However, she couldn't let them stay like this, unfortunately. She was the last one at the center now, and they had to close for the night. As much as she was loathe to separate them, Eren really should be spending his first night home in his own bed. So, she approached him from behind and carefully shook his shoulder, saying his name quietly.

At hearing his name, Eren reluctantly peeled his eyes open, having only just closed them a few short moments ago, and rolled over to face her, being careful not to jostle Levi. Hanji told him, "I'm just about to lock up."

Eren took a deep breath through his nose, trying to force oxygen into his system to rouse himself, and he said when he exhaled, "Alright. I'll get up and get going then."

"Well yes, but I figured I could drive you home," she offered.

Eren regarded her for a moment, confused, and then said, "No, it's okay, I drove myself here, just give me a minute, I can"- he was interrupted by a huge yawn, and then continued "-can make it back home."

Hanji eyed him doubtfully. "Uh huh. Let me rephrase that. I'm driving you home because I don't want to see you on the morning news saying you had crashed into a tree or something on the way home because you fell asleep at the wheel." When he began to protest, she added, "No arguing. Now come on."

With a reluctant sigh, Eren finally gave in, deciding he must be tired indeed if he was too tired to argue. He supposed Hanji was right. He had been running on adrenaline ever since he boarded the plane to get here. Then after his mom had picked him up from the airport he barely stayed long enough to say hello to her before he was hopping out of her car and into his own and racing off towards the aquarium like a man possessed. Now the adrenaline was completely gone and he was left with the crash. So, he carefully tried to work his way out from under Levi. Not an easy feat considering Levi was laying almost on top of him. It took several long seconds of gentle maneuvering to untangle Levi's arms from around him and easy scooting off to the side. Hanji even viscerally felt the tenderness radiating from Eren as he slid his hands underneath Levi's head and gently lowered it to the ground as he at last separated himself from him.

But before he could get up, Levi seemed to register that Eren was no longer there with him. His warmth and solid body were gone, and that tiny frightened part of himself that he had tried so hard to smother while Eren had been gone, that part of himself that was always alert and waiting for danger, tried to rouse him. He began whining dreamily, unhappily, the fingers that had been curled in the boy's coat now flexing, searching. In response, Eren's own anxiety began to rise. He didn't want Levi to wake up, and the whine he was making, the way his brows were furrowing, his expression looking so nervous even in his sleep…it took all of his self-control not to dive back into the mermaid's embrace and hold him close again. Thinking fast, he knelt down and stroked Levi's temple, pushing the hair out of his face and murmuring a string of soothing words too low for Hanji to hear. But whatever he said must have done the trick, because within a few moments Levi settled down, his whining quieting, and his expression smoothing out into one of contentment. Eren sighed with relief, and finally pulled his hand away from Levi's face after rubbing his thumb over his cheek one last time. For good measure, right before he stood up again, he reached over for the bouquet, grabbed it and carefully placed it by Levi's outstretched hand.

When he finally rose to his feet, he gave Levi one final lingering look, before he quietly walked out of the tank, and it was only when they were down the ladder and walking down the hall did Hanji dare to speak out loud and say, "I'll come pick you up first thing in the morning tomorrow? Or I can come get you on my lunch break if you want."

Despite being dead on his feet, Eren insisted, "No, no first thing in the morning is fine. I'll be there bright eyed"- he yawned again, "- and bushy tailed."

Of course, once she loaded him in the car and they were out on the main road, she wasn't at all surprised that he fell asleep in the car within a minute of leaving the parking lot.

000

A little before dawn, Levi finally stirred, the sound of some of the staff milling around and some doors being opened rousing him enough that he cracked his eyes open. Without giving it much thought, he stretched slightly, arching his back and giving a little whine with the effort, his body stiff and his skin feeling stretched and dry as he realized he had spent all night out on the rocks instead of in his cave. But wait, how had he ended up here…?

It took only a second for Levi to recall the night before, that Eren had come back, that he was _home_ now. Last Levi remembered, he was feeling so drowsy that he couldn't keep his head up or his eyes open, and had laid his head on Eren's shoulder. The boy had begun to run his fingers through his hair, and it had felt so soothing, making him feel exponentially more relaxed. He remembered clearly telling himself that he was going to just rest his eyes long enough to get the heavy feeling to go away and then- then nothing. He must have fallen asleep without meaning to. He sat up, head still feeling heavy, reaching blindly next to him. When he felt nothing but empty space, his eyes widened a bit, and he realized that no, Eren wasn't with him anymore.

He gasped, waking up immediately. Where was he? He began looking every which way, panic suddenly welling in his throat. Had he left Levi and gone back home? Gone back to school? Or worse, had it all just been a dream, another attempt by his subconscious to soothe him, to produce lovely images for him so that he could sleep happily and deeply, only for him to wake and feel the full weight of his depression again knowing that Eren was still hundreds of miles away?

Before his thoughts could start spiraling, his hand thankfully brushed against something hard and crinkly. Startled, Levi looked down, and to his utter relief and joy saw that it was the bouquet that Eren had brought last night, wrapped in plastic paper around the stones the same way it would be wrapped around a bunch of flowers. He really had been here, it hadn't been a dream. Levi sent a quick thank you to the moon spirits and picked up the bouquet, trying his hardest to be careful with it. Pulling back the wrapper slightly, he saw that it was full of several large and small precious, sparkling stones of many different colors. Amethyst, rose quartz, citrine, opal, and of course, aquamarine. It was far better and far more useful than any bouquet of flowers for a mermaid. Levi hugged it close, a giddy smile forming on his face. Just then, another thought occurred to him; if the sun wasn't up yet, then that meant he had some time to kill before Hanji and Moblit got here, and when they got here, perhaps they would bring Eren with them.

Heart pattering with excitement, Levi decided to ready himself, hopping into the water, taking his bouquet with him.

True to his word, Eren arrived just a couple of hours later, all bright eyes and red cheeks, bundled up and wearing a blue beanie that said "I Believe" with a little mermaid next to it, carrying a tote bag that swung on his arm, and a spring in his step as he shot up the ladder. The boy's stomach felt all warm and fuzzy when he saw that Levi had broken into his bouquet and had laid all the stones out onto the pathway and was currently picking them up one by one to admire them. When he heard Eren, he swung around to face him, put down his stone and he began his guinea pig chirping, a sound he hadn't uttered since he had last seen Eren face to face.

Once he was next to Levi, he bent down and folded him into his arms again, the mermaid beaming up at him so brightly Eren was sure he was going to be blinded by it. He greeted him with a soft, "Hey baby. I'm sorry I had to leave you last night. But I see you found the rocks. Do you like them?"

Levi nodded against Eren's shoulder enthusiastically. When he pulled out of the hug, he was still wearing that dazzling smile, and he signed up at the boy, _"They're perfect, thank you so much for getting them for me. I want to put them in my cave later, perhaps. Or I might leave them out here since they're so pretty sparkling in the light like this."_

Eren's gaze swept over the stones, and then he turned back to Levi, saying, "Well, might have to keep that in mind for Christmas. But before we can get there, we have some Thanksgiving things to worry about."

Ah yes. Eren had mentioned this Thanksgiving stuff during their video chats. Another weird human holiday thing, yes, but like most human holiday things, Levi was excited and intrigued by this one too. If nothing else, Levi liked the idea of the holiday because it had gotten Eren home. Speaking of…

" _So, you're done now with school, yes?"_ he said up at Eren hopefully, eyes sparkling.

The boy's face fell as he admitted, "Ah, no. I'm sorry Levi, it's just for five days for the holiday. After this I have to go back to school again."

Levi's eyes widened with shock, and suddenly his chest felt like someone had knocked the wind out of him. He opened his mouth to protest, then he closed it again. Of course he couldn't have Eren all the time, but he couldn't believe he had come home like this and was only going to up and leave him again at some point. He understood, but it still hurt, and he didn't think he was ever going to get used to it. He felt his expression fall, and Eren of course must have seen it, because he quickly said, "But I'll be back in a few weeks, and for that break I'll have almost a month off between semesters."

Levi brightened again at that. _"Really?"_

"Oh yes. For a while things can go back to how they used to be."

The mermaid almost teared up at the thought. He would give almost anything for that to happen, to have Eren every day in his life again. He could hardly believe what he was hearing, and he smiled so hugely at the idea that Eren laughed, made so happy by Levi's excitement that he couldn't help it.

"Right, so," he finally said, sliding the tote off his arm and setting it in front of him. He also took off his jacket, leaving his beanie on his head to keep his ears warm. "I did come here for a reason today. My parents are home getting Thanksgiving dinner ready for tomorrow, and I told them we'd help however we could. So this afternoon we are going to frost the shit out of these cookies."

Levi tilted his head, confused. But he watched curiously as Eren began to pull container after container out of the bag, setting up a little kitchen right there on the rocks. There were several little drying racks, some knives, and a couple of plates for them to place their cookies so they could frost them individually. Levi had never seen many of these things before and his eyes shone brightly as he took everything in. He listened with rapt attention as Eren explained what he had to do.

"You're just going to take a dollop of frosting like so," he told him, demonstrating by piling some of the vanilla frosting onto his knife, "and spread it on the cookie like this," he spread the frosting, "and then put it over here on the rack so we can let the frosting harden a bit."

Levi took his first cookie and the knife, trying to do exactly what Eren told him. He even began chewing on the inside of this cheek as he concentrated, determined to get it right, to make the boy proud of him. However, rather quickly, he found out how soft these cookies were, and he broke his first one as a result of trying to frost it too hard. He froze in shock, staring at the two pieces for a moment, before looking up at Eren helplessly. His boy merely snorted at Levi's terrified face.

"It's okay, there's plenty more," he assured him. "Look at it this way. The ones you break you get to eat, that was always my mom's rule. So frost both halves if you want and then you can try these cookies out."

The mermaid perked up at that, and did as he was told, being more careful this time as he judged his own strength better. When he decided his cookie had enough frosting, which wasn't much to start with since he wasn't sure how they tasted, he lifted it to his face, sniffing it curiously. It had an overly sweet but vaguely spicy scent to it as well and he wondered why that was.

"It's pumpkin," Eren said, seeing Levi's twitching nose and the unspoken question in his expression. "They only ripen in the fall, so they're considered one of the tastes of fall. You can bake it into all sorts of things."

Levi hesitated for another moment, before giving it a lick. Then, deciding he didn't mind how the spice tasted, he put the whole half of the cookie in his mouth. When he registered the taste, Eren noticed his cheeks turning rosy and he lit right up, the mermaid nodding in appreciation for the sweet taste.

"Good?" Eren asked needlessly, not surprised at all when Levi nodded vigorously and stuffed the other half of the cookie in his mouth as well.

From there on out, Levi got better at frosting, finding the activity to be relaxing, and pleased with himself that he could help Eren with this important holiday business in some small way. And if he broke a few more cookies "accidentally" just so he could eat them, well, Eren certainly didn't call him out for it. Levi even dared to think he did the same thing. Eren also explained more about what Thanksgiving was, what his family was going to be doing for it, and what he was going to be doing for the break in general.

"I do have homework to do," Eren sighed, and Levi had to fight back a smile at just how displeased the boy looked by this fact, "but I'm going to probably come here and do it. If I could manage it over the summer I can do it here now. Ugh, it was so awful there without you. But…" he paused, a soft smile coming to his face, and the mermaid watched him intently. "In a way, I'm glad about that. I was afraid that by being apart from you, I might lose whatever feelings I had for you. That I'd realize maybe what I felt for you was something trivial that might change when I went to school. But no, it hasn't. I still care about you a whole hell of a lot. Still infatuated as a stupid teenage girl. Still want to call you dumb cute, sappy names. Still want to do crap like this to you because I can."

Before Levi could ask what he meant, he watched as Eren's pointer finger came up with a huge glob of frosting on it and dabbed it onto his nose. He froze in surprise for a minute as the boy laughed, and then joined it, wiping it off and licking it up. Once he finished, he felt the need to respond, _"I feel the same way. My feelings for you haven't changed at all, even if you are a big dork."_

Eren laughed, setting the last of the cookies aside to dry. "Your dork, it looks like. Really, I'm so happy though. I really thought I wasn't ever going to feel like this for anyone again. And then you showed up, you monster, and now my therapist is telling me that it's entirely possible for me to still have a shot at a good relationship even after my last one ended so horribly, that I'm capable of making good judgements and all that. I think you're all conspiring against me to make me eat my words."

Levi lifted himself out of the water to sit next to him, before replying, _"Perhaps. What can we say, we're evil like that."_

The boy breathed a laugh through his nose, and then stilled, suddenly realizing how close their bodies had drifted together. He was very much in Levi's personal space, but of course the mermaid wasn't making any indications that he was uncomfortable. Instead, he just scooted closer, inch by inch, until he could feel the heat coming from Eren's body. Their eyes met, and Levi scanned his face. God he was cute with that beanie on, with the little mermaid on the front of it. He really was such a huge dork, and it gave him a thrill that Eren had come out and said that he was essentially Levi's.

Their eyes met, and a charge went through their bodies. Suddenly they were unable to look away from the other, and Eren placed a hand on Levi's tail, right around where his thighs would be. He took a deep breath, and leaned forward, a little bit at a time. Levi's heart began to pound. Was he…he was, oh he was, he was still leaning in, cheeks red, hand balling into a fist where it was situated against Levi. The mermaid reached down and groped for Eren's other hand, taking it in his own and squeezing it. Immediately he felt the tension leave the boy's body, Eren soaking up the comfort that he was being offered. Levi remained still, trying to tell him with his gentle, beseeching expression that everything was alright, that he could keep leaning in, or back out completely, and Levi would be fine with either. Eren took another deep breath, and kept leaning in, and this time Levi's eyes fluttered shut, anticipation pooling hot and low in his belly. His breathing began to pick up without him knowing, and he parted his lips.

And finally he felt Eren's lips, just not brushing against his own.

Instead, the boy bypassed them and kissed his cheek, lingering there for a minute, before he pulled away and began apologizing dejectedly, "I'm sorry Levi, I thought I could do it. I've been working every week with my therapist and she said I'm doing so well, and I was so excited to see you that I thought maybe- I'm such a coward, I hate myself, why am I like this? Too scared to kiss the guy I like on the lips, what a fucking joke I am."

Levi shook his head rapidly, gripping his hand tighter for a moment, before he let go of it to say, _"You're not. And you have no reason to apologize, I'm not upset."_

Eren lowered his gaze to his lap, unable to look at him. "I'm mad at myself though. And ashamed, so ashamed. What is wrong with me? I wasn't like this with Reiner, we kissed on the first date and I had no problems with it. I want to kiss you so bad, I promise I do"-

The mermaid quickly leaned up and kissed his cheek to stop his tirade and oh yes, it did the job and it did it very well. Eren froze and blushed like mad, all of his attention now focused on Levi instead of his awful thoughts. He was looking up at him now instead of his lap, and the mermaid took the opportunity to say, _"There's no rush, and there is nothing wrong with you. Eren, I promise you, I can wait as long as you need. You're worth it. And if we do nothing more than hold hands and kiss each other's cheeks, I'll be the happiest fucking mermaid on the planet."_

Eren blinked in surprise, completely unsure how to react to such beautiful, selfless words. He finally managed to squeak out, "Really?"

" _Yes, really,"_ Levi insisted, _"You're so precious to me, and I consider it a gift that despite how badly you were treated before, you're willing to try and make room in your heart for…for a murderer"-_

"Levi, no, don't start," he cut him off, placing a hand on his cheek. "I don't blame you for those deaths. I never have. They hurt you for years and years, and then you finally lashed out. That's on them. You never wanted to hurt anyone."

He didn't reply for several moments, unwilling to look Eren in the eye, before he said slowly, _"The sentiment still stands. You're willing to overcome your fear for me, and I don't take that lightly."_

Overwhelmed, Eren felt his throat tighten up, and he pulled Levi against him, burying his nose into the mermaid's hair, unable to come with the words to reply to a sentiment so beautiful. So instead, he remained silent. Levi did the talking for both of them, beginning a quiet song that made Eren's blood thrum gently, relaxing him and encouraging his affection for the mermaid. And Eren supposed that was a good metaphor for their relationship. His and Reiner's romance had been wild and hot and immediate, like summer at its peak. His and Levi's was soft, slow and tentative, like spring trying to push its way past winter's iron grip. It couldn't be more different. And for that, he was grateful.

000

Thanksgiving was the day after, and after Eren had eaten with his family, took a tupperware container filled with turkey, mashed potatoes smothered with gravy, some cranberry sauce, squash, and a couple of pumpkin cookies to the aquarium. He figured since he couldn't take Levi to dinner with his family, he'd take Thanksgiving to Levi instead. And judging by the mermaid's expression when he took the lid off the container and showed him the contents, it had been worth it. Levi's eyes had sparkled and his mouth dropped open in awe, like Eren was presenting him with the finest treasure.

He had snarfed it down excitedly, though he had to figure out how to use utensils pretty quickly, and that in and of itself had been an amusing venture. Levi had dropped them more than once and had to go diving down to retrieve them, until he finally just decided on gripping the meat in his claws and tearing it with his teeth, only using the spoon for the softer things like the mashed potatoes. And oh, the whole meal had been heavenly, the best thing he had ever tasted in his life.

" _I'm glad you came home if for no other reason than to introduce me to Thanksgiving food,"_ Levi had commented, making Eren laugh, and say he would accept that comment without complaint, as it was very true.

Once he had finished, stomach more full than he could remember it being in a long time, it hadn't taken more than an hour for Levi to slip into the always deadly tryptophan induced coma and slowly fall asleep in Eren's lap, purring contentedly, where he remained for a good chunk of the afternoon. And Eren sat there with him without complaint, soaking in Levi's presence and looking down at him with fondness swelling in his chest, stroking his hair and down his neck and shoulder.

As promised, Eren returned every day of his vacation to work on his homework in Levi's tank. Well, work on it as best as he could, as Levi was very distracting, constantly demanding his attention by being annoyingly cute, patting and pawing at Eren, or just laying his chin on his knee and looking up at him with huge round eyes. Of course his boy hadn't been able to resist most times and had either cuddled with him for hours on the rocks, or hopped into the water and swam around and played with him. They of course had been caught by Hanji or Moblit more than once and given stern looks or warnings, and then pointedly told to get back to work. This had then prompted a game of sorts to see how long they could get away with goofing off before someone caught them, which was only made harder when they couldn't stop giggling like a couple of idiots.

For those few, blissful days, it was like those four months had never happened at all, and Levi completely forgot that Eren was going to leave him again. Instead, he was in heaven, soaking in all of Eren's happy energy, his presence, and all the warm food he kept bringing him, feeling closer to his boy than he ever had.

Which is why it was that much more painful when he had to leave him again.

On the morning of his departure, Eren was once again in his tank, mermaid beanie in place, and just like four months ago, Levi was clinging to him so hard that his muscles were straining. He was whining and nuzzling Eren hard, rubbing their temples together, before he buried his face in the boy's chest, still whimpering. The noises cut Eren to the core; he stupidly thought this would be easier the second time around. But no, it was just as painful, of course it was. Levi still relied on him heavily for comfort and affection, still only seemed to truly thrive when Eren was here with him. And now he was leaving him once more.

"It'll be okay," Eren said as he stroked his hair, trying to sound cheery, "It's just a couple weeks this time, then I'll be home for a whole month. We can get up to all sorts of trouble in a month, right?"

Levi sniffed, and nodded with his face still hidden in Eren's chest. He lifted his head after a moment, to which the boy finally managed to make him smile a little by placing kisses all over his face. Levi couldn't help but nuzzle under his chin, cooing, which just made Eren tighten his grip on him, covering him as best he could so he could surround him with his warmth.

"When I get home," Eren promised, "we're going to have so much fun. And it'll be so warm and so festive and happy in here that we'll forget it's winter outside. I'll make sure of it."

And, snuggled in his arms, breathing in his musky, boyish smell, Levi finally felt safe enough and confident enough to believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to know what Eren’s beanie looks like, here it is: ht tps://www.destinationdeclassified.com/product-page/i-believe-mermaids
> 
> And in case anyone wants to see what I imagined for Levi greeting Eren at the beginning, I took inspiration from this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axKMUdPlAeQ


	26. Pull Me From the Depths

It turned out Eren had been right; within a couple weeks that passed by in a flurry of pre-holiday field trips made possible because the aquarium tended to discount their entry fees during the colder months that kept Levi busy, suddenly, his boy was back. One chilly December evening and he was back in Levi's life, greeting him with more warm hugs, enthusiastic and frequent pecks to the cheek, much to the mermaid's delight. More than that, he had returned with another gift, a small figurine of scene with a human man and a mermaid embracing on a shoreline.

"So you'll think of me when you see it," Eren had told him. "And when Christmas comes around, I've got other things for you too." Then the boy had brightened when he had asked, "Oh, I completely forgot, I've been meaning to ask you, when's your birthday, Levi? I probably already missed it."

Levi had grinned and shook his head. _"No, actually. I couldn't give you an exact date, just that it's sometime in the winter. So Trost Sealand assigned me an official birthday date, and they happened to put it on Christmas. I suppose whatever is convenient for them, I don't mind."_

Eren had all but screeched in delight, planted a huge kiss on his forehead, and promised to get Levi the best Christmas gifts he could think of.

When his boy had left that day, he had centered the figurine in the middle of the circle of his gemstones on the stone pathway. Unable to bring himself to get them wet, he kept them up here where he'd often pop up to the surface and spend time admiring them and remembering the boy who gave them to him.

However, coming home seemed to mean more this time around, at least Eren thought so. For the first time since he could remember, he felt almost completely relaxed around Levi. Physically he had always been, but this time he felt more mentally relaxed as well. Before part of him had always been worried that he'd mess up somehow. Afraid he'd do something to scare Levi off, or that he was doing something that Reiner used to do to him, that he would mess up and use the same kind of manipulative language, that he was touching Levi in a way that might make him uncomfortable, or worse, worried that Levi didn't really like him at all and was just tolerating him because he pitied him. But these months of therapy really had helped. Was he cured, hell no, not by a long shot, but by a genuine desire to get better, he was unlearning and relearning many crucial things.

First, he was unlearning that he was going to make the same mistakes again. How could he, his therapist assured him, when he was so vigilant about not repeating that mistake? The fact that he was paying so close attention to what he was saying and doing spoke to his care about this whole relationship, and he knew the signs to watch for now in an abusive partner. Second, he was unlearning the fact love always hurt. It wasn't supposed to, he was told, and it wasn't something to be feared. It was supposed to be something pleasant, something wonderful, and it wasn't fair to him that his first experience with it had to be so horrific. And lastly, he was slowly and systematically trying his best to unlearn the fear he had learned to be associated with love and relationships by using logic that no, it wasn't going to happen to him again.

Instead, he was learning to associate romantic love with positive things, most of these things of course involving Levi. Romantic love could be fun and sweet, and above all, consensual. Things that he had always thought were life or death situations in his old relationship, such as not keeping Levi updated on his whereabouts all the time or not being ready to kiss him yet, were no big deal in this relationship, as they shouldn't be. If Levi did something he didn't like, he could tell him, and the mermaid would respect his boundaries.

And wonderfully, as he began to see these things being reinforced by what his therapist was telling him, ever so slowly, the fear began to leave Eren's body.

He was a fool to think it was going to happen overnight, and he didn't think so, but he couldn't believe how far he had come in just half a semester. Though the apprehension was always lurking beneath the surface, it was much further down now than it used to be. Whenever he slipped up now, he didn't immediately start panicking; he and Levi were able to rationally talk things through. He had always had to talk himself through his irrational fears, but now he was beginning to believe the things he always said to himself. And more than just decreasing his anxiety, it was liberating in ways he couldn't have imagined. And one of those ways was manifesting itself in a very unexpected form.

That is to say, he was suddenly very horny, hornier than he had been in months.

Thus far, Eren had been far too fearful and an anxious mess about his past relationship, not to mention busy with school to even think about things like that. Now, ever since he had gotten home and didn't have to worry about school anymore, and since his ex was safely in jail, things were different. With his anxiety gone, suddenly his thinking brain seemed to want to take a back seat to his dick.

It had started soon after he got home where he began waking up with morning wood every single goddamn morning for almost a week straight, forcing him to slink around his house like an unfixed cat and pray his parents didn't notice. However, at the time, the only feelings that had incited in him was irritation at the fact that he didn't have the time to be dealing with such a thing because he had to get up and go to the aquarium to see Levi. And it had taken him an embarrassingly long amount of time to come to the conclusion that these occurrences might be happening because of Levi.

The thought had hit him like a punch in the face in the middle of the hallway at the aquarium, and he had stopped mid step like a complete idiot while people had been walking behind him. At first he had thought it was ridiculous, and then thought he was ridiculous for thinking it ridiculous. Obviously it just spoke to how long he had been consensually laid that he had forgotten what sexual desire felt like. Once the people behind him had crashed into him, given him a dirty look and moved on, he had come to the slow conclusion that this was okay, and expected, given the situation. It wasn't wrong to feel. In fact, he was quite a late bloomer, in that aspect he supposed. Who would have thought it would take him so long to feel sexual attraction towards his own lover?

It wasn't that he didn't think Levi wasn't pretty, because that most certainly wasn't the case. The problem was completely in his head. And it was time to change that, Eren knew. How was he going to progress if he kept being afraid like this?

So one day, when his mom was out with friends and his dad was at work, he decided to take matters into his own hands. Literally.

This had certainly been an awkward conversation between him and his therapist, but he knew of course it had been for his own benefit. She had advised him before he could think of having sex with another person again to see if he could become reacquainted with his own body first. Since it had been so long since he had experienced any real pleasure during it, it was time to explore what made him tick and what didn't without worrying about another person to please. So, determined, for Levi's sake, he went all out. He locked his door, turned down the lights, borrowed the scented candle that normally sat in the living room, and even put on some soft, ethereal music to lull him into a more relaxed state. Eren had to admit, he felt a little silly about the whole thing. What a cliché this all was, but he was doing as his therapist advised; he had to create a soft, warm, safe atmosphere in order for him to pull this off, and candles, music and low light were cliché for a reason. They helped.

Still, he was thinking about how ridiculous the whole business was even as he stripped. His therapist said it might seem silly to him because this was how girls sometimes masturbated, not guys. Guys usually didn't need to go through the whole ordeal of making the act an experience, as it was much easier for them. Women on the other sometimes needed the extra push, as achieving an orgasm required a lot more creative imagery. And since Eren was struggling so much, she figured the extra bit might help him. And well, what did he have to lose? So, sighing, he laid down on his bed on his back. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, and when his thoughts became too loud and intrusive, he closed his eyes and tried to focus on the music instead. Soon enough, it did wonders for drawing him out of his own head and into this fantasy he was trying to make for himself.

"We can do this," he told himself, eyes still closed, "it's no big deal. This is going to be nice and easy and relaxing. No one is going to hurt us, no one is here watching us. It's safe, we're safe. This is going to feel good."

Once he finished psyching himself up, he let himself feel for a moment. The blankets against his bare back and behind were certainly a sensation he wasn't really used to, especially not in the winter time like this. The fact that the heat was on and he knew it was snowing pretty good outside at the moment, only made him feel even cozier. The candle smelled like cinnamon, heady and sweet, and the rhythm of his music was slow and unhurried.

With that, he carefully took some lube that he had warmed beforehand, rubbed it between his palms and took himself in hand.

That initial bit of contact startled him slightly at first. After all, it had certainly been awhile since he had been touched so gently. But once that was over, he was able to start going through the motions, rubbing up and down his shaft methodically, trying to fill it with blood so he could really begin. He found he couldn't watch himself, as it was too strange, so he closed his eyes, trying desperately to do as he was instructed. Focus on sensations, feelings, not logic. He could do this.

The stimulation itself was alright. It felt good, he supposed. But he was having a hard time truly arousing himself. He situated himself further into his blankets, letting the comforter puff up around his shoulders, let himself feel how soft it was on his bare skin. But just the sensations and sounds of his room weren't enough. He tried what he usually did before he ever dated Reiner, tried imaging a faceless man with a body he found attractive: lovely pale skin, contrasting with dark hair and dark eyes, athletic build and-

Shit, he had just described Levi, hadn't he?

Well, he thought, was that so odd? But he hadn't imagined Levi as a mermaid, per say. Now he was beginning to imagine what he might look like as a human. He thought of how he looked during his heats, with his pale skin with that rosy tint to his cheeks, his pink lips, and how strong his core looked. How that strength felt when he lifted Eren clear from the water and tossed him when they played. But how about lower? What might he look like with a pair of legs instead?

Eren felt a sudden rush of heat straight down his chest towards his stomach before it stopped between his legs. Levi with a pair of legs, with strong, thick thighs and shapely calves. Legs he could run his hands over and feel the muscles shifting underneath the skin beneath his fingers. Legs that rose to a pert, shapely rear he could cup and squeeze and cause Levi to sigh or hum happily, or even moan if it were under the right circumstance. Like licking it, or sucking on the soft flesh, and then delivering the same treatment to the inside of his thighs.

The boy drew in a sharp breath. Oh, now they were getting somewhere.

Eren began to stroke a bit faster, thumbing that special spot just behind the head of his cock, pressing into the skin and stroking little circles. He used his other hand to stroke the inside of his thighs, mimicking what he was doing to the Levi in his mind. The mermaid would have his rear pressed right against Eren's thighs, his legs draped over Eren's while his bottom half was slightly in Eren's lap. He'd like nothing more than to stroke the inside of his lover's thighs, running his hands over that raised ridge of muscle, hard and firm beneath his fingertips. He'd massage it a bit, marvel at how vulnerable and willing Levi looked, how soft and trusting his gaze was. He'd reflect that trust back, showing his genuine intentions, showing that he was going to take care of Levi in the way Eren had always dreamed of being taken care of.

Eren reached down a little more, softly tracing that large tendon until he dipped his hand between Levi's legs fully, stroking his sack, which had grown redder and sat tighter against his length, the same as Eren's own as he mimed the motion, palming it and pulling it gently away from his own body. The pleasant sting made him hiss and grit his teeth, and made Levi do the same in his mind, but he didn't pull away. He pushed further into Eren's hand, pushed more of that hot, thin, soft skin into his palm. When the boy began to grope and press it gently back against Levi's body before palming the skin downward again, he watched in fascinated reverence as his neck began to arch from the treatment and his eyes fluttered shut.

The boy reached up with his free hand and set it atop his chest before he ran it down his torso, feeling with his fingertips every bump and ridge on his- no, Levi's body, giving both nipples a pinch, enough to elicit a pleasant zing, before they came across the sensation of coarse hair. Once he reached that, he ran his fingers delicately upward, lightly touching Levi's length, almost tickling him with the motion, but the barely there touch was clearly driving him mad. He hissed and shivered, eyeing Eren and demanding without words that he get on with it.

But he didn't. He kept his touches light and reverent, curiously exploring every inch of Levi's body, especially those legs and what lay between them. He felt the Levi in his mind's frustration as he stroked his own skin softly, so very softly, making goosebumps rise up and shuddering breaths leave his damp, parted lips. So when he finally took himself in hand, he, as well as Levi, felt the shock, and they both gasped, and their backs arched off the bed gently.

"Let me show you all the ways the human body can feel good," Eren told Levi, and Levi nodded breathlessly in reply, raising his hips insistently and grinding himself against Eren's hand. He took in the way Levi was looking at him, eyes heavy lidded, cheeks and ears red with, his whole frame vibrating with want. He looked like he was poised to shatter, and the claim was only backed up when he let loose a small, vulnerable whine.

That whine cut Eren to the core, heat flaring harshly in his gut and his erection gaining an almost painful surge of blood. He no longer held back, opening Levi and pressing himself inside. Outside of his mind he began to stroke vigorously, imagining that the tight, wet heat of his fist was Levi's insides sucking him in, stroking his cock like it was what they were made for. He began bucking his hips as the pleasure became more intense, practically seeing Levi bouncing on his lap as Eren lay back. His hand gripped creamy pale thighs, feeling how thick and strong they were, how they flexed under his palms as they worked to hoist Levi up and down. His lover's head had fallen back as he writhed and panted, exposing his throat, lovely moans and cries escaping him as Eren delivered in full force the pleasure the human body was capable of. Eren marveled at his cock as it disappeared in and out of his body, and at Levi's, which was flushed an angry red and bobbing enticingly in front of him.

Eren felt Levi's pleasure with a massive jolt as he outside of his mind as he picked up the pace as fast as he possibly could go, grabbing Levi's cock in his mind and making his little lover cry out at the added stimulation, drool leaking from the corner of his mouth.

It wasn't long after that that the vision vanished in a blinding white flash, and Eren didn't even realize that he had come at first. In fact, it took him a minute to come back to himself at all, and when he did he realized that his chest was heaving, his back had arched hard off of the bed, and his hand felt incredibly sticky. In fact when he looked down, he saw that his cock was still pumping out the last couple of streams it had to give, tiny, tired dribbles, but still evidence that yes, he had done it. He had masturbated and made himself come for the first time in months, and more importantly, he had done it imagining the pleasure of the person he loved the most.

With that knowledge, he let his back relax and drop down to hit the mattress with a soft puff of the blankets, and he let his arm rest over his eyes as he composed himself. He could feel himself shivering, hear his ears ringing, and knew if he sat up now he'd be lucky if he didn't faint. And yet the lightheadedness brought on by his success made him feel giddy, more so than he had in a long time. Mercifully he was alone in the house, because if anyone could have seen him then, they would have thought him a truly strange sight; a naked man surrounded by scented candles, soft music, covered in his own release and sweat, and giggling like a madman. However, to Eren, who had been through hell and had taken the next step to conquering it, his giggling and all the come, in the oddest sense, felt like cries of victory, and a boot to the face of the man who had tried to destroy him.

000

Some time after Christmas was over, business picked up slightly at the aquarium, though it wasn't nearly as crazy as it had been during its glory days during the summer. It had gone from dead to a slow crawl, which left Eren and Levi lots of free time play and goof off since Eren was now between semesters. Since he wasn't doing much on his break, he had been given permission to keep Levi company during the break as he had during the summer, and anything he could think of to liven things up around the aquarium during the long, dull winter would be appreciated. It also gave Levi time to find new places for the pretty gems and shells Eren had gotten for him for Christmas, and Eren to admire the seashell pendant Levi had made for him to attach next to his aquamarine stone. " _So that you can always have a part of me with you, even when you go back to school,"_ Levi had explained.

Eren had promptly teared up at that, hugged him tightly, and told him he was the cutest thing on the planet.

So today they had been pretty bored, Eren sitting around the enclosure in his wetsuit while Levi swam laps, also bored and trying to get the cabin fever itches out of his tail. It had actually been seeing Hanji pass by that had sparked an idea in Eren's devious brain, an idea born of the memory of how they irritated her last summer.

He called the mermaid over, waving his arm. Levi had swam right up, looking at Eren expectantly, especially when he watched the boy reach over and pull his laptop out of his bag, typing furiously on the keys. He warbled questioningly, tilting his head. Eren just chuckled to himself, then looked up over the top of his computer with a mad gleam in his eye, a look that for some odd reason sent a flush of heat right to Levi's belly.

"Want to annoy the fuck out of Hanji?" he asked.

At that, Levi nodded vigorously. _"Hell yes."_

"Good," Eren said excitedly, getting up and trotting over to the aux cord that sat in the corner of Levi's tank, connected to a pair of speakers that played music in case he ever performed again. He hooked his laptop to the cord, and said, "because I have an earworm that's going to be stuck in her head for days and make her want to throw us in the shark tank."

" _What do you mean?"_ Levi wondered when Eren turned to see his reply.

"Levi, have you ever heard the Cotton Eye Joe song?"

When the mermaid answered no, he hadn't, Eren's grin only grew wider, and he pressed play on his laptop.

Down in her lab, Hanji was innocently pulling apart a recently departed nurse shark on one of the tables, and when she heard the new, strange noise coming from the hydrophones, she vaguely recognized it as music, and continued her dissection. It was only after a half hour that she realized wow, Cotton Eye Joe was a lot longer than she originally thought it was. After an hour, she finally processed that it was being played more than once, and after almost an hour and half, her face darkening rapidly, she realized what had happened. Especially when she left to go to the bathroom and was out of earshot of Levi's tank and the stupid song was still playing in her head.

"Eren Jaeger I'm going to fucking kill you," she muttered harshly, startling a few employees that she passed on her way back to the lab. They fixed her with frightened looks and stayed well out her way as she passed by.

Eren and Levi for their part remained blissfully unaware of Hanji's rage as they danced. Well, Eren danced, carefully balancing himself near the edge of the pathway, even throwing in a couple of extra moves and kicks that weren't part of the Cotton Eye Joe dance, while Levi remained in the water and tried to imitate him, his tail copying one of Eren's legs and then twirling around and clapping in time with him. The music was loud enough in fact that it attracted a couple of patrons from the front of the aquarium to the back, all of them curious as to what was going on. When they saw the mermaid and his human dancing along like a couple of idiots, huge smiles on their faces and for once looking like they didn't have a care in the world, well, they couldn't resist whipping out their phones. A few children and teenagers familiar with the song and dance even began to join in, and when Eren and Levi caught sight of them, everyone began dancing more enthusiastically. Levi even swam up to the glass and led a couple of smaller kids through the steps of the dance, giving them a thumbs up when they did it right, causing them to burst into giggles.

At one point, Eren decided to change the song to the Electric Slide, and he as well as the patrons took it upon themselves to teach Levi the dance to it. This was followed up by other songs with familiar dances to them, Eren even taking requests from the patrons. Their favorite by far had to be when they taught Levi the chicken dance, Eren laughing so hard at how silly the mermaid looked that there were tears streaming down his face. However, the laughter soon turned to being at his expense when Levi leaped up and dragged him head first into the water with him with a good natured growl. The two of them wrestled under the water, much to everyone's amusement, and then playfully dunked each other under the water.

That is, until Hanji showed up later telling them if they played one more retro piece of crap she was going to drown them both and then stuff their bodies in the filter pipe, that they realized that the fun was sadly over.

At least, they figured with twin evil grins directed toward the other, until the next day.

000

_As far as he looked, everything in front of him was grey: the sky, the sea, even the castle next to the shore. The waves were crashing upon the rocks, restless, nervous, ready for the incoming storm. Even with his poor sense of smell, he could smell the thick, bruised air._

_He was alone, he noticed, looking around. His pod wasn't here. They weren't swimming around the rocks he was perched on. But why was he sitting here? Could it have something to do with that castle in the distance? Oh yes, Levi remembered. He was trying to attract the prince that lived there. At least, he thought he was the prince. He was the loveliest human he had ever seen, with his pretty green eyes and the light dusting of freckles across his nose. Levi's season was approaching, he could feel it, hence his desire to stay close to this castle. Or…was it more than that? Did he want the prince to notice him?_

_Of course he did, he mused to himself. He knew he was male, and that his body wasn't capable of bearing children, but his latent instincts that carried over from his female ancestors told him that the prince would give him beautiful babies. And the logical side of Levi sort of wished that he could in fact give the prince children. However, his heart was all he had to give._

_He gazed up at the sky, unsure of when he began to sing. The sound seemed to come from somewhere deep inside him, in the same place where his instincts lay, and it appeared that they were the ones singing for him. They were putting out a deep, melodious tune, one that echoed off the cliffs and castle walls, a beguiling sound that soothed the soul into a drunken stupor and dragged every man from their marital bed as if they were being led on a leash._

_However there was only man he wanted to see._

_And there he was, appearing as if by magic down the stretch of beach, a wandering dream made flesh, the prince with the green eyes. Levi lights up, but keeps singing, watching as the prince steps over the rocks and wades out into the water to meet him. He stopped in front of the mermaid, completely under his spell, before raising a hand to stroke the side of his face. When Levi feels him stroke the side of his face, the touch tingles throughout his entire body, and he feels like he's come home._

_Suddenly, he felt something grab him by the tail and yank him abruptly off from his rock, away from the prince. He cried out, reaching for him and feeling his fingers brush his as the prince leaned over to grab for him, but it was too late. Levi was being yanked down, down below the water, now eerily still around him. It had become tinged green, and he used the light filtering down to look at his tail to see what had pulled him down. It was netting, and when he looked up towards the surface again he saw netting closing in on him from all sides, slowly growing tighter up at the top. He heard Eren's voice crying out for him, though it was muffled and seemed miles away. Levi screamed back, and began fighting against the net, pulling as hard as he could. But Eren's voice was growing fainter and fainter, until it had disappeared completely._

_Levi began to shriek with a new desperation, the water suddenly freezing and deadly silent, and his heart began to hammer and his lungs started burning with the lack of air. He began begging, pleading for Eren to come back and rescue him, but for some reason, he couldn't shout loud enough. But he tried, kept trying and trying until he was forced to breathe in. he coughed, his body automatically trying to push the water out of his lungs, but it was no use. His vision began to grow fuzzy, and still he kept trying to reach for the surface, mouthing the name of the boy he loved as he slowly faded away._

Levi woke with a harsh, painful sounding gasp, jerking upright and shrieking like he was in desperate pain before he was even fully awake. For a moment, he failed about on his rock, unseeing, forgetting where he was, coughing and choking on the water he thought was filling his lungs. He didn't even notice at first when Eren had pulled him into his arms or the fact that he was speaking to him.

"Levi!" he called loudly to be heard over the mermaid's terrified cries, "Levi, Levi, shh, shhh. It's okay, it's okay! Hey, it's okay, you just had a bad dream."

Slowly, gradually, the warmth and pressure of Eren's embrace registered, bringing him back to himself. His shrieks faded to whimpers, and he remembered what had happened. Yes, that's right, he had just fallen asleep to Eren reading a fairytale to him without meaning to. It had all been a dream.

A horrendous dream where Eren had abandoned him to die.

Suddenly, Levi's crying picked up, and he squeezed Eren back so tightly he swore he heard the boy's back crack. Eren began to protest the strength of the hug at first, until he heard Levi whine even more pitifully and felt him bury his face hard into Eren's chest. The boy didn't say anything further, instead relaxing and placing a hand against the back of Levi's head, holding him to his chest.

"It's alright," he murmured. "Don't worry, it's over now. Just breathe. Just breathe nice and deep for me. Easy does it."

Just then, Eren felt Levi's hands moving purposefully against his back, and it took Eren a moment to realize he was signing. Why he wasn't bringing his hands between them so that he could see what he was saying he didn't know. Perhaps he was feeling too overwhelmed, or was too scared to let go of the boy. Either way, Eren didn't question him, and instead tried to interpret what was being said.

And his heart nearly dropped to his feet when he figured out what Levi was begging over and over again.

" _Don't leave me…don't leave me…"_


	27. Abandoned

Eren had been dreading this morning almost ever since he had arrived home for his vacation because he knew how badly Levi would react to him going back to school. He had been able to ignore it for a while of course as it had been drowned out by all the fun they had been having, and just how close they had grown these past few weeks, closer than they had ever been, the thought of him leaving had seemed like a far off, distant nightmare. He had retained that same sense of dread for many days, but upon waking that morning and going to the aquarium to say goodbye, the cold sweat had returned in full force, gifting him with a sense of nausea so strong that for a while that morning he had hovered over the toilet, afraid he'd lose his breakfast.

He could feel the sweat prickling under his beanie and along his back even as he could see his breath puffing up around him and could barely feel his face as he walked across the parking lot. Walking to Levi's tank felt like a walk to the gallows, and when he climbed up and over the ladder, he wasn't shocked at all to see Levi already there waiting for him. He was completely still in the water, not even glancing at Eren as he walked up. His hair was shadowing his eyes and his mouth was drawn in a neutral line, showing no expression. However, the hand he had out of the water was stroking one of the gemstones Eren had given him softly, almost wistfully, and when he heard Eren's footsteps he let go of it and balled his hand into a fist hard enough that his knuckles were just beginning to turn white.

Eren stopped in front of him before growing silent, suddenly unsure of what to say, especially since it seemed he had said all of these things already before, already imparted as many comforts on Levi as he possibly could all the while knowing they would have little effect on either one of them during their time apart. The boy opened his mouth nonetheless, but as if Levi could hear him do so, his mouth suddenly drew itself into a deep, pained line and he lifted his face so that his fringe fell away softly from his forehead to reveal his bloodshot eyes, eyes that spoke of a night of virtually no sleep and the struggle to hold back tears for that entire morning. Eren's heart broke at the sight, and wordlessly, he kneeled down, bracing himself when he saw Levi lunge forward, and wrapping the mermaid up in his arms. Levi nuzzled his face into his chest, praying that Eren's huge coat would swallow him up.

Neither of them could think of anything to say. After all, what more could be said? They had been through this before, and nothing Eren ever said seemed to make their partings any easier. So they didn't bother with the useless comforts; Eren simply gave Levi what he wanted, that contact and warmth, the reassurance that he was still right here for the moment, still blessedly solid. So, the boy instead told him, "When I get back for my spring break, I'll make it my goal to kiss you. Really kiss you. Okay?"

Levi gave a small, congested laugh, the idea making him so happy that he couldn't help himself. Maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to tide him over until they saw each other again. Eren and the promise of his lips against his was certainly enticing enough to try.

However, when his boy began to back out of the embrace with soft murmurs of farewell, this time Levi wasn't strong enough to let him go. It was as if something inside of him broke just the tiniest bit in that moment, something that seemed to be stretched too thin every time Eren left him. And with the threat of yet another long time apart, it finally stretched too much and snapped. He tightened his arms around him wordless, his grip strong enough to keep Eren from going anywhere.

"Levi…" Eren admonished him gently, "Come on baby, I know, I don't want to leave either. It's just this one more time, and then it'll be just weeks before I'm done for good."

The mermaid tried to let go, he really did, but it was like his arms had a mind of their own. They had locked around the boy, unable to do what his brain was telling them to do, and he knew why, but he didn't want to let go to tell Eren.

 _I'm not strong enough,_ he thought, _I can't do this again. I won't make it this time, Eren._

Eren felt the tears, warm and damp against his shirt that peeked through his open jacket, before he saw them. He felt Levi shudder and heard him begin to sniff but didn't see his face. He sighed, giving in for the moment, realizing there was nothing he could do except settle in and just hug him back, setting his chin on top of that dark, silky head, whispering, "I know, I know. It's getting harder for me too each time we do this. I'm glad I'm almost done with school because I don't know how much more of this I can take. I see all those happy couples on campus and then all of sudden I want you there with me so bad that everything hurts for a minute. Sometimes when I'm there it's all I can do to not fly back so I can bring you back with me and put you in the bay so I can see you every day. It's not fair that they can be happy but we can't, you know?"

With that, a sudden, horrible thought occurred to Levi, and he bit his lip to stop the whimper that wanted to climb up his throat. He carefully extricated himself from Eren's arms and leaned back. His back remained hunched and his face was stained with tear tracks, and to the boy he looked so small and pitiful, so exhausted. His heart went out to him, but before he could take Levi's hands to comfort him, the mermaid began to speak, and what he said made the breath freeze in Eren's lungs.

" _Do you regret being with me?"_

So caught off guard, the boy didn't reply for a moment, and Levi took his silence as affirmation. He lowered his head submissively, and began to scoot away, and that action brought a quick from Eren. He grabbed his upper arm to stop his movement, emphatically saying, "No! God, no, Levi of course I don't! You're the best thing that's happened to me in years! I knew this was going to be hard, but hasn't stopped me. You're teaching me that relationships don't have to hurt, and I never thought I'd be able to say that. Remember how I said I didn't believe in love just a few months ago? Well, when I look at you, suddenly I feel like maybe it's possible, do you have any idea how amazing that is? The only thing I regret is not finding you sooner, and not having you be my first relationship instead of Reiner."

Levi squeezed his eyes shut as more tears threatened to spring up, and without a word, and leaned forward began nuzzling Eren's face, purring wetly. The words were on the tip of his tongue to beg his boy to stay, that he'd do anything, anything at all that Eren asked, just so that he'd stay with him and not leave him alone with his evil thoughts that told him how worthless he was and that he didn't deserve anyone as wonderful as Eren, that no one would care if he hurt himself. That everything in his tank reminded him of his love and there was no escaping it or his bad thoughts. That he had grown so dependent on Eren for affection and stability in his head because Eren kept the bad thoughts away, and he was so beyond scared to be left alone. The thought that no matter how much he wished for it every night, he never woke up with a pair of legs so that he could follow Eren wherever he went. Even just having the option would be enough to comfort him, he was sure.

But he couldn't tell him any of this. What if Eren saw it as Levi trying to manipulate him into staying? He'd be no better than his ex then if he did that. So, the mermaid kept quiet, except to purr and snuggle and focus on his boy's body warmth, trying to convey the words he couldn't speak with his actions.

 _Please don't go_ , Levi's nuzzling said, and when he felt Eren hug him tighter and lean into the caresses, it broke his heart more and only spurred him on, _Or if you have to, let me grow legs so that I can follow you wherever you go in the world. As long as I'm with you, everything will be alright._

But alas, the moon wasn't in the sky at the moment, so she didn't hear his plea. Even if she could, Levi figured, why would she answer the prayer of an abnormal mermaid that should have been killed at birth in the first place?

000

Sometime later when the beginning of February rolled around, Levi was sitting on top of the rocks beside Carla, who had taken it upon herself to keep him company that weekend since the number of patrons visiting had been so low for the past few weeks. The terrible weather and the bitingly cold temperatures had pretty much kept everyone home but the staff members. So, now that her son was back in school, she figured Levi must be getting terribly lonely, and took it upon herself to visit with him.

She was right of course; he was very lonely, Eren's absence this time around for some reason hurting so much more than the last one. Perhaps it was because this time Eren had only Skyped him twice since he had gone back to school, telling him that this semester was way worse than the last one since it was his final one so he was trying to get the last of his work together and really focus on getting the highest grades that he could. Levi had said he was proud of him, and he was, he really was. He just happened to feel a stab of pain in his chest when he figured out the implications of Eren's words: they weren't going to be able to chat as much this semester.

So Carla was here trying to cheer them both up, Fern laying obediently by her side, having brought a photo album with her. She had it placed on her lap while Levi leaned over, fascinated by the fact that humans had figured out a way to capture moments of time and put them on these little plastic cards to be looked at whenever they wanted. For instance, he could barely believe that the two young people smiling from the back of a horse drawn carriage were really Eren's parents on their wedding day. The Carla in the photo looked so much younger than the one sitting next to him, and yet like she could jump out of the page at any moment. But more than the wedding photos, of course, Levi perked right up when Eren's baby photos began to appear. The first one was Carla holding her newborn child in her arms with Grisha holding one of Eren's tiny hands in his large one, looking at him as if they couldn't believe he was theirs.

" _He's so little,"_ Levi commented, and then added disbelievingly, _"Are you sure that's him?"_ For some reason he just couldn't connect that tiny baby to the giant boy he knew.

" _Sure is,"_ Carla confirmed, _"And he wasn't that small. He was nine pounds when he was born, and trust me, I felt every pound both when I carried him and had to push him out."_

That made the mermaid smile and huff a breath through his nose in a quiet laugh. She flipped the page to a couple of other pictures where Eren was still small, and then more still where it was clear he was beginning to grow. When they reached one where Eren was standing for the first time and holding his ear at the same time, Carla explained, _"That was one of his odd habits. For some reason he couldn't stand steadily if he wasn't holding onto his ear. If he let go he fell."_

Levi snorted. _"Little humans are weak, useless things. When mermaids are born they already know how to swim. Granted not well, but they can do it just fine within a couple of hours. They do need to hold onto their parents to keep up with the adults though when we travel until they're big enough."_

" _How interesting,"_ Carla remarked.

" _If I may ask, what are little humans called?"_ Levi asked, _"Little mermaids are called pups until they get their first heat. But even after, most of the time their mothers still refer to them as their pups as a term of endearment."_

Carla smiled at that. _"Human mothers do the same thing. I still call Eren 'kid' a lot. But little humans are called babies, and then children."_

" _Hmm…Eren calls me 'kid' too, even though I'm older than him."_

" _Aw, that's sweet,"_ she said, _"Certainly better than what he calls Fern. Calls her 'fatty' or 'sausage' a lot, even though she's pretty skinny. He says he means it endearingly, even if it makes no sense."_

" _He…he also calls me fat. Likes to point out I'm too heavy to carry whenever he has to."_

Carla rolled her eyes and sighed. _"You have my permission to smack him if he does it again, he certainly didn't get that from me."_

Levi shook his head. _"I already have. Besides, really, I don't mind. I do it back to him sometimes, and he finds it cute. For whatever reason. I don't know, we're stupid together, I guess."_

She snorted, and assured him, _"That's how you know you're a good fit for each other, when you can do stupid things together and be stupid together in general."_

Her words made a warm feeling spread throughout Levi's chest. He was so happy that Eren's mom liked him, and if he was being honest, he was so very happy that she was here to spend time with him, not just for the company, but because her care for him reminded him of his own mother, and it was nice to have that love and concern back in some form. And when Carla told him when she got here that showing their children's baby pictures to their partners was often something parents did when they approved of them sent a thrill through him.

However, that thrill was doused rather cruelly and suddenly by his next train of thought, a thought that had sadly been creeping up more and more the closer he and Eren became. It was a question that been plaguing him so badly that some nights he lost sleep over it. But now that he had Carla here, perhaps she might have some thoughts on the subject. It was worth a shot, since he couldn't think of anyone else that might possibly have answers for him.

" _Um"-_ he began unsurely as Carla flipped the page. She saw the flicker of his hands moving though, and looked up to see what he needed. He started and stopped a few times, his face pinched with discomfort, but she waited patiently, her gentle expression telling him without words that it was okay, he could take as long as he needed to get it out.

" _I've been wondering,"_ Levi finally began explaining, his hands trembling, _"well, there's a legend among my kind that if you kiss your true love, that you'll shed your tail and grow legs. You'll become human forever. I don't know if Eren told you that or not."_

Carla nodded steadily. _"He did, though I have to say I have a bit of trouble believing it."_

" _It's alright,"_ he assured her, _"Many mermaids wonder whether it's true or not too since it's never happened in my lifetime, or my mother's, or even the elders'. We just have legends to go off from, and even though many legends have some truth in them…anyway, it got me thinking."_

" _About what, Levi?"_ She placed her hand on his upper arm, squeezing it in support.

" _Well, what if Eren does kiss me and nothing happens? What if I stay a mermaid? Either it means the legend is wrong, or worse, it means I'm not really his true love. If that happens, I wonder if we could even stay together. What if he meets someone else if that's the case and leaves me here?"_

She thought about it for a moment, going quiet as she stared at the rocks between them, noting the gemstones and the little statue surrounding them, kept pristine and orderly by the resident of the tank of course. Carla then answered, _"Well, what's the first solution that pops into your head? If Eren found someone else, would you let him go?"_

Levi shivered from the pain at the thought, but still answered, _"Yes, of course. More than anything, I just want him to be happy."_

" _And what if he never found anyone else?"_

His cheeks turned red with a soft blush, and it took him a moment to reply, _"Then I guess he'd be stuck with me."_

" _Exactly. You know you'd want to be with him regardless whether or not this true love stuff is correct. And if I know Eren, he'd want the same thing. You make him so happy…Levi, he'd never drop you just like that. Soul mates or not, your future is how you make it. If you want to be together, it shouldn't matter if some higher power has decided that you should be or not. You should be doing what want, and if your heart says you never want to leave each other's side, then that's whose advice you should take."_

" _But"-_

" _But nothing. You better follow your heart or I'm going to kick your ass."_

Any protest Levi might have had died on his lips as they instead quirked up into a grin, and then opened in a small laugh when her words fully registered. Well then. If that was how it was going to be, he supposed he didn't really have a choice, did he? With a smile on his face, he looked Carla in the eye and said, _"Well I suppose I'll just have resign myself to my fate them. I suppose someone has to look after your son, don't they?"_

She smirked in amusement. _"Yes, someone who he'll actually listen to. It's ridiculous from when he was this age,"_ she pointed to one of Eren's pictures of when he was a toddler in her album, _"to now, any time I'd try and get him to listen to me it was like talking to a brick wall."_

" _Well at least that hasn't changed,"_ Levi agreed, _"So um, what other pictures do you have in here?"_

From that point on, as if to make up for the fact that he had seemed so upset over the thought of Eren possibly leaving him, Carla seemed to work hard to cheer the mermaid up by showing him the best pictures in the album that she could, especially the ones that could be considered blackmail material down the line. For example, she found a particular one that always made her laugh with Eren in it around four years old and butt naked laying on the back of the couch, grinning a maniac towards the camera, and she explained, _"Oh now here, oh Lord, trying to get Eren to wear clothes when he was little was a nightmare. I don't know what it was about that boy but he said he felt freer without them, the little imp. So he crawled on the back of the couch that day and I saw an opportunity to embarrass him down the line for any of his future dates."_

In fact, that was what she had captioned it: "Blackmail material for future dates."

There were many others along the same line of course, and Levi became so absorbed, so very content and joyful, that he actually began to take Carla's advice to heart. Really, he had been silly. What did it matter if Levi didn't turn human if he and Eren ever kissed? Levi would still find ways to follow him wherever he went, legs or a tail. As long as they desired each other, he could think of no good reason not to listen to his own heart.

000

It was the middle of the night when Eren started awake, at what at first he wasn't sure. All he knew was that his heart was racing and his limbs were tingling, and he was far too groggy and unsettled to try and remember.

At first, he lay there in silence for a moment, trying to rub the feeling back into his arms and staring up at the bunk above him, where he could hear Armin's quiet breathing. It was actually quite soothing, for it was proof that he wasn't alone, and that if he really needed help, he could always wake his roommate. Armin might not be happy about it, but it would all just be show. Deep down, he'd be upset if Eren didn't ask for his help when he really needed it.

But no, as he lay there, gradually becoming more awake, he felt that he didn't need Armin just yet. Though he was still terribly unsettled, the dead silence of the night getting to him quickly and only amplifying the flitting thoughts in his head. He tried to lay there for a moment and see if he could go back to sleep, but within a minute or so, he realized that that wasn't going to be happening any time soon.

It was then that he remembered abruptly and with sickening detail what his dream had been about. It had been a flashback of sorts to one of the rapes he had experienced when he had been with his ex. During that particular time it had been just him and Reiner, and the two of them had been arguing over something, until it had culminated in one of Eren's few brave attempts at trying to leave him, exclaiming that he was worth more than the awful names Reiner had begun to call him, that he deserved better than the life he was living. That he deserved to be treated with kindness and warmth and not to live in fear every single day. Of course, Reiner hadn't taken too well to Eren's defiance, and had set to teaching him a lesson.

Eren shuddered in bed, gripping the blankets as he remembered how Reiner had overpowered him quickly and thrown him down on the couch, gripping his throat with one hand. He hadn't tried to strangle him then, but the pressure was threat enough to make Eren very scared to the point where he had tried to claw Reiner's hand away. However, the other man was strong, so strong that not only was he not able to remove his hand, but even when he fought back, he wasn't able to stop him from slamming the back of his head against the arm of the couch hard enough so that he was stunned. Eren then floated in and out of consciousness for a bit until he was brought back hard by the pain of Reiner penetrating him, first with his penis, and then with the rolling pin, which he had run and grabbed from the kitchen.

Eren had been in agony for days after that, both his head and his lower half which throbbed every time he had dared to use the bathroom. But Reiner hadn't allowed him to go the doctor, afraid he'd be found out of course. He had apologized for the incident, but it had felt like a backhanded apology in which he had said, "I'm so sorry, love. If you'd just shut your mouth I wouldn't get so angry. You just have to be quiet and I won't hurt you. If you do that I promise this will never happen again."

The boy could feel the phantom pain in his rear and head, as well as feel the pressure against his wrists as he hands were held above his head as well as a hand against his throat. Try as he might, he couldn't well down the panic that was threatening to rise either, his breath coming faster, the room growing fuzzier. He gripped the blanket tighter to try and ground himself, but it had no effect. He tensed up, but that only made the panic worse. His thoughts began to spiral until all he could see what Reiner above him, feel the pain ripping through his body, hear the echo of his own scream in his ears, feel the humiliation and helplessness and _there's no way out, I'll be trapped here forever, I'm not going to survive this, it's all over, all over-_

Tears stung his eyes, and his breathing was far too loud as he fought for air. Trying very hard not to start sobbing, Eren quickly reached for his phone, fumbling it as his hand shook. It took a few tries to get a grip on it, but when he did, he ripped it off the charger, and with a desperation bordering on madness, he went to his pictures, looking for the only face he could think of to pull him away from the brink. He found his album of Levi without a moment to spare, quickly pulling up a video he had made of Levi's vocalizations. He had sat there for an afternoon asking Levi to make all the sounds he could so that Eren could record them for research purposes, and even though they were various squeaks and whistles and chirps, they were _Levi's_ , and that was enough to calm Eren down just enough that he didn't feel like he was going to die anymore.

He went through even more of his album, losing himself in memories of that happy summer, and went further and further down until he found newer pictures he had taken of them that January his favorite being Levi wearing Eren's mermaid beanie. In fact, he had set that picture as his current wallpaper, the image being too cute and somewhat ironic for him not to. He stared at it for a moment, and even though his heart was still racing, a smile was brought to the boy's lips at the memory of how Levi had shyly asked to try on his beanie, and Eren had practically gushed like a teenage girl over how cute he looked and took as many pictures as possible. Levi seemed quite pleased over the whole ordeal; being fussed over by Eren was always something that he was game for, even more so the kisses on his cheek the boy gave him when his affection for the mermaid seemed to boil over.

And, as simple as they were, the cute images calmed Eren down, slowly but surely. He wasn't even sure how long he lay awake going through his pictures, but it was long enough that eventually, his heart stopped pounding and his thoughts stopped spiraling into places he didn't want them to. He sighed, staring at Levi's beautiful, sweet face in his wallpaper, wishing uselessly that he was at home so he could make another late night drive to the aquarium and snuggle into the mermaid's arms. Levi wouldn't mind, he was certain. He knew there was no way Reiner could come back for him now, but at the same time, at that moment, all he wanted was the comfort and security of the mermaid's embrace, to be pressed against his chest and know that even if Reiner did miraculously escape from jail, he'd have to go through an angry, dangerous mermaid before he could get to Eren.

But for now, the boy supposed, this would have to be enough. Even if Levi wasn't here physically, he was in Eren's memories and in his pictures, calming him with his presence and voice, and when Eren finally fell back to sleep, his phone still clutched in his hand, he swore he could feel his mermaid's arm around him, soothing him with his chuffs and purrs.

000

Across the country, at around the same time of the night, Levi was also bolting awake from a terrible dream, however he didn't awake quietly and groggily as Eren had. The mermaid was flung forcefully and horribly into full consciousness, his heart trying to jam itself in his throat. He could hear a high pitched, pathetic noise in his ears, and it took him a minute to figure out that it was his own whimpers and small shrieks, his body calling out for help without him even realizing it.

However, this time, his mate wasn't there to respond with soft words and cuddles.

Levi's head whipped back and forth, searching for Eren regardless, his soft noises pleading for his boy. The deep, dark, illogical part of his mind perhaps thought he was just hiding in the shadows and would come out when he heard Levi crying. However, the more awake Levi grew, the more impossible he knew this was. His boy was far, far away, and there was no way he would be able to hear him. Hadn't he learned that the hard way? No matter how loud he screamed or called, Eren wouldn't be able to hear him.

Once he was fully awake, Levi remembered that he was in his cave, fully enmeshed in the darkness, and that only made his heart rate spike even higher. He looked from one wall to the other, but saw nothing and s _hit-_ he had to get out of here. He felt closed in and trapped and if he didn't leave right now he might forget that there was light in the world, that the entire world didn't consist of nothingness and darkness. His light was on the other side of the country at the moment, but perhaps, _perhaps,_ if he called for him at the surface, he'd hear him. That, stupid illogical voice deep within him that craved Eren and his comfort, that needed the boy more than he needed the air in his lungs or the blood in his veins, more than the moon on his face or the water against his skin. He made a break for the surface, trying to hold back his tears and keep his throat closed against the desire to start whimpering again.

His head broke the surface a minute later, and he pulled in several short, sharp gasps, the membrane in his eyes clearing away the water as he searched frantically around. He strained his eyes, even giving several, small, hopeful whistles as he swam for the rocks. But he knew before he even reached them that Eren wouldn't be coming. He only had to place his hand on the shore, listen to the dead silence only broken by the lapping of the water and humming of the filter in his tank, and he knew.

Levi placed his free hand against the mouth, trying to stifle the urge to begin crying out anew, but it didn't stop the tears from welling up in his eyes. He had had yet another dream of Eren abandoning him, but this time it had been during one of the times Nile had molested him. He had been pinned under the man, unable to get away. He saw Eren standing just a few feet away, and he had reached for him, begging, _pleading_ with his boy to make it stop. But he had simply gazed at Levi blankly, before turning away as if he couldn't hear Levi's cries. It was only when Levi had felt a surge of pain in his dream strong enough to wake him that he did.

This was never going to end, was it, he thought hopelessly. He knew realistically that Eren wouldn't be in school forever, but his concept of time was slippery, and each day blended into the other until it stretched into one long, endless night. The panic returned tenfold, and he began to shake. The panic overtook him before he had a chance to stop it, devoid of hope as he was with no hope of a balm for the pain.

Well, no balm, except for one.

He found himself glancing down at the gemstones Eren had left for him, his heart stuttering over how beautiful they looked gleaming in the moonlight, as well as the memory of how the boy had given to him in that pretty bouquet. The care and love he displayed in how picky he had been in choosing each stone, knowing which ones Levi would like. The mermaid reached over and picked one up, gazing down at it for a moment before he held it to his chest. However, it didn't carry the same warmth and comfort as the boy who had given to him.

God, Eren was going to be so disappointed with him, Levi thought. His chest clenched, but since Eren wasn't here to offer him any comfort, he would have to do it himself, and he could think of only one source of comfort that had never failed him.

He took the stone, looked one last time at the glittering points, before he dragged it across his inner arm, gradually doing it harder and harder with each pass until dark, scarlet drops fell into the water in front of him.


	28. Dead Leaves and Fleeting Skies

Levi couldn't believe he had done this.

Over the next couple of days, that was all he could think. How could he have given in like that? He had been maintaining control so well, had been easily able to dismiss the urge to cut. In fact the urge had been easy to fight now more than ever, and of course he knew why that was. Eren had been there to distract him, had kept him far too busy and too happy to think about cutting himself. And each time before in those moments of darkness and loneliness at the bottom of his cave when he had thought about doing it again, he had refrained when Eren's face had filled his mind, knowing he'd be so disappointed if he relapsed.

So why had he failed this time?

He supposed it was because this time he was simply running out of fight. Like a whale that loses more and more fat the longer their migration, so Levi was losing his fight the more often Eren came and left. At the beginning of the year, though it had been hard beyond belief, those memories of Eren being with him had been fresh and kept him warm and cozy, and truthfully he had no idea what it would be like without him. As time went on, he found that Eren's time with him seemed to hold him over until their next meeting less and less, until he had finally given in.

However, now that he had, Levi was far more terrified than he had ever been thus far.

The mermaid paced back and forth in his tank, night plunging his tank into near blackness illuminated only the dim lights at the bottom of his tank. He actually quite missed seeing the moon in the sky at night, and perhaps that only added to his depression. But he quickly decided that even though he had cut himself already once, he couldn't let it happen again. Absolutely not, wasn't an option. Eren would be…well, not furious, no, he'd never get mad at Levi for something like this, but he would be very hurt, and that would be so much worse.

Yet if he couldn't cut, how else was he going to relieve the painful anxiety and crushing sadness that squeezed his chest daily? When he was distracted by the physical pain, the mental pain didn't seem as severe, at least for a little while. That, and the sting was quite delightful, if he had to say so himself. And-

No, he shook his head violently. He had to stop thinking like that. He had to go over the options in his mind.

 _If we can't cut, what else can we do?_ he thought to himself.

Well, the negative feelings might build up inside of him until the figurative pressure made him explode. Then, desperate to relieve the pressure, he might find himself cutting again and cutting too deeply this time.

 _And then we'd die,_ he surmised grimly. _But okay, if we did cut, what would happen?_

Well, Eren, as he thought before, would be so hurt by his failure. He'd blame himself over and over again for leaving Levi like he did, and the guilt would eat him up. He'd apologize endlessly, and the mermaid wouldn't be able to handle that. He'd probably just hurt himself more over the thought that Eren felt so guilty. It would be a vicious cycle without end, and once again, Levi's overacting, anxious mind could only see that route ending with death as well.

And if he somehow did manage to abstain from cutting, he supposed, if he didn't let the pressure build up and kept from hurting himself, he figured the anxiety and his dark thoughts that would be left over, gnawing at him from the inside out like the little parasites they were, would make him wish for death.

Levi began to whine to himself. This was exactly how it used to be at Trost Sealand, when he'd be locked up in his little portion of the pen away from the female mermaids, desperately bored and lonely and wishing for a friend. He remembered a time when he had spent most of the night floating near the surface of the water with his head above the water, only taking a break to eat, before he had resumed floating near the surface. He had stayed like that for hours, or it could have been days. He didn't remember. However, he _did_ remember how utterly chaotic and yet empty his mind had been during times like that. He'd worry about everything and yet clearly think about absolutely nothing. He'd sit there wishing he'd stop suffering while at the same time being terrified of dying, of obsessing over death while being so scared of it he couldn't breathe. His mind became so bored from the lack of stimulation that it would go in dizzying, horrific circles, telling him since he was too much of a coward to end it, that he would just have to hurt himself and see if he could cause himself an accidental death.

He never, ever wanted to go to that place in his mind again.

And yet…

Levi could feel himself slipping. He could feel himself going back into that headspace despite the fact that his surroundings and circumstances were completely different here. No matter how much his gaze darted around, taking in the fact that he had things to distract him here, that he had a cave to feel safe and hide in and rocks to sun himself on and adoring patrons who couldn't get enough of him, to his horror, it meant very little to him at the moment. Without having his boy, it all seemed rather pointless.

And if there was no point, then there really was no hope of resisting, was there?

Levi blew out a sigh, watching as the silver bubbles rose above his head, and resigned himself to his fate. He swam over to his cave, his mind still buzzing with a million thoughts. No one would notice a few more, would they? Perhaps not even Eren. After all, he'd never really paid much attention to Levi's scar when he first saw them. There had been that time after Eren revealed he used to self-harm, and Levi had indicated his own scars to show that he used to do the same thing. But that had been it. Logically, he knew that Eren not bringing them up again had been a way to avoid bad memories for both of them, and perhaps even show that Eren didn't care about his appearance. He constantly told Levi he thought he was beautiful, anyway.

But what if he was just saying that to make him feel better and he wasn't telling the truth? What if all of those kinds smiles and telling Levi that he was the prettiest creature he had ever seen, what if all that had been empty words? It wasn't true, was it? Eren didn't lie to him.

He didn't. But what if he had been?

The mermaid whimpered, staring down at the outside of his cave. He started forward, and then hesitated again, wiping his hands down his face. He looked up at the surface, but no, the only person who might convince him to stop wasn't there. So, he swam forward again and began scraping his body against the rough rocks, deciding to add to the plethora of scars that already marred his skin. The motions were painfully familiar, and felt as natural as the muscles moving in his tail to help him swim. He saw the blood rise almost immediately and began to feel the familiar sense of calm and smoothing out of his erratic thoughts, before something harshly interrupted the process. Bizarrely, it was the very thing that he had been seeking out; pain. However, this war far, far more pain than he remembered ever encountering doing this before. It went beyond calming and went to a level that briefly froze his brain and made coherent thought impossible. With a small cry, he stopped, and backed away rapidly from the cave.

What on Earth had happened? Why did it suddenly hurt so bad? This was how he had always done it, if he remembered correctly. He would scrape his whole side either against the roughened, sandpapery wall of his enclosure in Trost, or against the side of the cave here. So why wasn't that familiar, euphoric haze settling over him like it usually did around now?

It was at that moment that Levi realized he needed to breathe, and as he swam upwards to do so, he figured it out, or at least on possible explanation. It had been quite a while since he had done this. His body probably wasn't used to the pain anymore, or rather, the amount of pain he used to put it through. Once he had taken his breath and was on his journey back down, that haze he used to experience still wasn't taking him away from the anxiety the clawed at his chest. In fact, with the onslaught of the physical pain, it just seemed to be made worse.

However, once he retreated into his cave to rest for a bit and allowed the cooler water there to soothe his wounds, the pain began to dull slightly. And once it dulled, it developed to a level that was more manageable, and to Levi's mind, pleasurable. That was when his old friend that lovely sense of euphoria began to return in full, soothing away the anxiety for just that little while.

It was then that he remembered why he used to do this in the first place. He knew Eren would surely hate him for it, but, well, his body was already covered in scars. What was a few more that his boy probably wouldn't even notice anyway?

000

Levi was troubled, Hanji surmised, sometime that March. That much was obvious. Against the back drop of winter tentatively releasing its grip, something instead was gripping the mermaid, something just as cold and unrelenting, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

It started when a Sasha came to her saying that a patron told her Levi was behaving oddly in his tank. When she asked how so, Sasha told her about he was floating listlessly in one corner of the tank. Confused, both of them went to check on the mermaid.

Sure enough, there was Levi, hovering in a back corner with his head near the surface. He wasn't treading water, or even moving at all, really. He was just floating there, the only real movement from him being that he would lift his head the couple of inches needed for him to hold his nose above the water so he could take a breath, before he'd let his head sink back under again. It was so eerie for the normally exuberant mermaid to sit as still as a statue, looking as if all of the life had drained out of him. He stared off into space, his eyes looking so dull, as if the thing they were searching for had disappeared long ago and they had given up hope of ever seeing it again.

"And how long has he been like this?" Hanji asked quietly. A needless gesture of course, but for some reason she was afraid of disturbing the mermaid's odd state.

"The patron said he'd been watching him since noon today…so about two hours now," Sasha answered back in the same hushed tone.

The scientist shook her head in sad disbelief. "Two hours and hasn't moved at all. Man, I've seen this in dolphins and orcas in captivity before. They do it when they're lonely or not being mentally stimulated enough. With Levi, that could be either option. And of course we know what we could do to fix it but…"

She trailed off, unsure of what else for a moment. What else was there to say really? Besides, Sasha understood. She sighed, looking up at Levi sadly. His tail was barely even twitching to keep him afloat, instead hanging limply underneath him. Sasha shrugged after a moment, and suggested on a whim, "He usually likes hanging out with the otters. Maybe if I brought him into their enclosure again, it might help?"

Hanji thought about it for a brief moment, before shrugging. "What have we got to lose? If you can get him out, be my guest."

Luckily, it didn't seem to take much to get Levi out of his tank. However, though he didn't fight Sasha, he didn't really acknowledge her presence either apart from a shrug when she asked him if he'd like play with the otters for a bit since he seemed like he was feeling down. He let her pull him out of the water and, with help from Hanji, put him into his wheelchair, before taking him down to the otter enclosure. Sasha tried to be upbeat and positive, talking to Levi as she pushed him along.

"You just need a change of scenery," she said cheerily. "Things will seem brighter when you're not looking at the same surroundings anymore. And the otters miss you. I know once you start playing with them and petting them, it'll be impossible to stay sad. Trust me, I know from experience that they won't let you."

At the thought of the slippery, wiggly little creatures and their cute, snuffling, tickly whiskers and noses all in his hair, Levi couldn't help but crack a smile. If anyone could pull him out of his stupor, perhaps they would be able to. Besides, the otters were far more persistent than people in terms of cheering someone up. And they were less intimidated by his irritated glares and occasional grumpy growls.

Once they arrived in the enclosure, Sasha did her best to wheel him inside, minding the piles of melting snow they had brought in for the otters to play in. The water itself would be a bit chillier than what Levi was used to, but if his kind regularly took trips up the Arctic Circle with the humpback whales, then a little slush wasn't going to bother him. The otters themselves, when they saw Levi come in, were just beside themselves with joy, chirping and squeaking and warbling all over the place, as well as running alongside his wheelchair and hopping up on their hind legs to see him better. To her relief, Sasha heard Levi vocalize back at them, mimicking their chirps and putting a hand down for them to nose at.

When Sasha stopped the chair at the edge of the otter's river, Levi took that as his signal to crawl down out of the chair, and he did so, before hauling himself towards the river and sliding in with a splash, the otters following him in eagerly. Sasha sat back for a minute, watching the otters play around the mermaid. Levi was sluggish and a bit slow to react at first, but the persistent little creatures kept encouraging him to play by pawing at him, or bringing him their toys and plopping them in front of him, until he finally threw one of their balls for them and they went flying after it. They darted in and out of the water, some using the momentum from diving in to butt Levi forward, deeper into the river. He finally did as they wished, getting in and ducking under the water, twisting around and chasing the otters as best he could in the confined space. Sasha watched in amusement as once in a while she'd see a furry brown back break the surface, or see Levi's tail come up slap the water as he maneuvered around. And every time Levi came up for air, he was smiling and chirping happily as he "spoke" with the otters, and it made Sasha feel a huge sense of relief.

However, that relief quickly died when Levi held still long enough for her to get a look at the underside of one of his wrists.

She startled abruptly when she noticed the angry red lines standing out starkly against the mermaid's skin. They looked awfully fresh and for a moment, she wondered if he had injured himself just now while he had been playing. But there was no blood welling up from the cuts, so that couldn't be it. And a moment later, when he had crawled out of the water and fallen back into the snow on shore while letting the otters crawl all over him, she noticed even more cuts along his shoulder and down the outside of his arm.

At first, she wondered how she could have missed those cuts on the way over here. However, when she looked more carefully, she observed that these ones were much fainter than the ones on the inside of Levi's wrist. Fainter, older, but still new enough that Sasha was concerned. When Levi looked up at her, she immediately changed her expression so that it looked as if she hadn't noticed anything at all, and simply waved at him, watching as he mimicking the otters and slid on the snow back into the river.

She knew with a heavy heart that she was going to have to tell Hanji about this, and it was only going to add to the scientist's worry over their resident mermaid.

Later that day, Hanji was lamenting to Moblit on their way down the hall, "That's what those scars were from. How could I have been so stupid? They were too precise to be injuries he sustained from attacks. He did them himself because his living conditions stressed him out so much. Of course…people self-harm when they're a huge amount of stress, why wouldn't a mermaid do it too? I guess some naïve part of me thought they just didn't."

"Well, what are we going to do?" Moblit wondered. "We can't just let him keep doing this."

She nodded. "No, I agree. But at the same time, how are we going to stop him? We can't help him if we don't know specifically how he's hurting himself. And if we get close to him, he's so unpredictable lately, he might attack us. I suppose if we really had to we could sedate him, but let's see if we can avoid that. It probably wouldn't work anyway."

"I agree," he pointed out. It was then that they came to a stop in front of Levi's tank, and they saw with despair that the tank's resident had gone right back to floating near the surface in the corner, completely still and lifeless once more. It was as if his previous couple of hours playing with the otters hadn't happened at all, and he was right back where he started.

Hanji sighed heavily, placing her hand on the glass. "Well, whatever we're going to do it, we need to do it soon."

000

Levi had been more fortunate than most marine animals in captivity, this he knew well from his own experience. Throughout his life, he had either seen other animals go mad, or had heard stories about them. The other mermaids he shared his tank with back in Trost Sealand had each committed suicide, after all. But before that he had slowly observed them spiraling into madness. Cambria used to swim the perimeter of the tank in relentless circles until she became too exhausted to move. Panthalassa had taken to huddle in the corner of her enclosure for hours a time, back facing anyone who passed by her. And Tethys would often bite at her own skin, or the skin of the other mermaids if they became too close. He often heard each of them whispering nonsense into the night more than once, and it disturbed him enough that it often kept him awake throughout the night.

He had to admit, he mimicking his own self destructive behavior after theirs, though he modified it in different ways. He was the only one to have attacked their trainers, and rather than hiding in a corner, he floated near the surface. He also hurt himself by using the walls and floors of their tank. He even found sometimes that forcing himself to vomit up his own meals was soothing in its own strange way. It gave him something to do, after all.

Levi removed his fingers from his throat, shivering and feeling terribly weak as he stared at the half digested remains of his lunch in front of him. He told himself that he'd keep his food down today, and he had tried, he really had. But then again, he kept telling himself that every day; he'd let his food travel a little further through his guts before getting rid of it, he'd keep it down for just thirty more minutes. But anymore, the feeling of food in his stomach felt foreign and so wrong. The longer it sat in there, the more anxious he became, and the more nauseous he'd grow until he couldn't take it anymore. The food would sit in his stomach, feeling too heavy and cold, almost physically weighing him down, the feeling only going away when he'd force himself to throw it up.

He stared at the wasted blobs of fish meat floating in the water for a moment, dazed, shaking, but momentarily distracted from his own anxiety, before going through the by now familiar motions of gathering up the waste and bringing them into his cave. He often hid them in the area where he went to the bathroom, hoping by the time they were cleaned up they would be so broken down that the staff would be none the wiser as to what they were. He couldn't let them find out about this bad habit as well. He was already pushing things; he wouldn't be surprised if he already looked thinner.

When they found out he had been hurting himself, Hanji had ordered Levi to be taken out of his tank for the afternoon. He had gone to play with the otters once more while staff had gone in and padded every sharp surface in the mermaid tank with waterproof foam that hardened like concrete upon contact. It was now all over the outside and inside of his cave, as well as the rougher parts of the walls of the tank. When Levi got back, he had been startled by the change, the foam making it look like it had snowed underwater. However, the surprise had been followed up by a hot wash of betrayal that had made his cheeks redden with fury. It was completely uncalled for, but there all the same. How dare they take away one of his only sources of comfort? Did they want him to sit here, slowly going insane because he had no way to vent his anxiety or the dark thoughts slowly eating him up inside?

However, his fury turned abruptly to icy despair when he had reached his stone pathway and realized that the gems Eren had given him had been removed too.

Of course they had been. They sharp edges on them. Even the small statue Eren had given him had been removed as well, because it was made of metal, and what if Levi decided to break it and use the shards to hurt himself that way?

Hence why Levi had started vomiting again. And as he covered up the remains of his food, he was again filled with the awful, hot, prickly feeling of anger and misery he had experienced when he first discovered they had taken away his gemstones. What right did they have to do so? Those were _his_ , his only presents from Eren, the only physical reminders he had of his boy. He hadn't spoken to Eren for weeks since he had been so busy at school, so they had been all he had. And whenever Carla showed up anymore, he ignored her calling to him from the surface, not wanting her to see the fresh cuts on his body that he had put there himself lest they remind her of Eren's cuts.

Levi swam out of his cave, making sure that it was completely quiet before he did so. He rarely ventured out of it anymore, especially when there were people around. He didn't want the patrons to see him like this, imagining the disappointed looks on their faces if they happened to glimpse what he had become. He had gone from being vibrant and whizzing around the tank, playing and interacting with them, to a pale wisp that barely had the energy to swim, his body feeling like it weighed a thousand pounds despite the fact that his ribs were now visible. Making his way up to the surface, he held an impossible, ridiculous hope that when he looked upon the stone pathway again, Eren's gems would have returned, bringing a tiny bit of warmth and comfort to him once more. But when he got there, blowing air forcefully out of his lungs (though as quietly as he could manage so that he didn't alert anyone of his presence), he of course saw that the rocks were still horribly bare. Of course they were. They had been for weeks. And he knew his gems wouldn't be returned to him until he stopped this behavior.

With a low growl, Levi sank back beneath the waves, the tension already crawling beneath his skin again. He found himself digging his nails into his arms, hugging himself around the middle, the whole way back until he made it inside his cave again, but the pain didn't distract him like it should have. He was used to such high dosages of pain anymore, that just the feeling of his nails digging into his own flesh felt like pinpricks compared to the relief he was looking for. And looking around, seeing the foam preventing him from hurting himself again only made him feel worse. He knew that if he tried to throw up again, nothing would come out, too.

Levi whined, long and low, a million dark emotions buzzing around his chest clogging his throat. It was then that his gaze drifted down towards his tail, and his mood grew even darker. He knew it wasn't rational at all, but his frustration and anger made it difficult to think, and lately he had been wondering if he wouldn't be better off without it. After all, his tail was the thing keeping him from Eren's side. If he had legs, he'd be able to walk out of this tank and follow his boy wherever he wished, but because of this stupid tail, he was stuck here on the other side of the country.

The mermaid dug his nails into his tail, feeling the tiniest bit of satisfaction as he did so, as if punishing the very part of him that bound him to this unfortunate fate. He had a brief flashback of how Eren's friend Armin had admired his tail, found it so fascinating, and Eren himself also had when they first met, and he felt the tiniest shred of guilt. But when he dug his nails in harder, it was wiped away a moment later, the relief far more overpowering by far. It came even faster when he dragged his nails all the way down his fluke, wincing, but feeling his heart race when he saw blood well up in the water, visible because of the dim light of his crystals.

Yet, he wasn't done. Now that this new door was open to him, he would exploit it fully, punishing his body for not being able to take him to his boy.

000

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Moblit asked Hanji anxiously as he put on the wet suit, "I mean, I still haven't forgotten what happened last time."

"Do you have another way?" she said.

Moblit zipped up the suit, and sighed, taking that oxygen tank Hanji handed to him and then helped him put on. He supposed she was right, and it wasn't like they had much choice anyway. They were just a little ways into April now, and since the beginning of the month, Levi hadn't been seen by anyone, staff or patrons. Which meant he had either flown out or was holing up in his cave again. The only indication that he was alive in there at all was that the food they placed in his tank disappeared by the end of the day, and the parallels to this time nearly a year ago before Eren had come to the Sina aquarium were eerie. So now, just like back then, they had to brave swimming into his cave to make sure that he wasn't hurt or sick. They had actually considered asking Sasha to go in and check on him, since Levi associated her with the otters and therefore trusted her more. But whatever trust he had had in her had been broken when she took him out of his tank so that they could take his gems away, and now he bared his teeth at her when she so much as passed in front of his tank and he saw her. Because of this, there had been no visitors to his tank for weeks, the area having been barred off once again.

As far as Levi must be concerned, he was completely alone now.

"The sooner we get this over with the sooner we can treat him if he needs it," Moblit relented.

She hesitated for a moment, before pulling a long, cylindrical object out of her coat pocket and holding it out to him, an object that he immediately recognized as the old cattle prod. He glanced up at her, worry filling his face, and he looked like he was about to protest, before she insisted, "Please. For me. If you take it with you, you won't need it. If you don't, then you…might."

A resigned look crossed his face, before he took the prod, tucking it into his belt.

Hanji followed him as he walked towards the tank, stopping at the bottom of the ladder, cautioning him as he grabbed the hand railing, "I know I don't need to tell you to be careful, but I will anyway. Just…watch yourself, and your surroundings. We don't know what kind of state Levi is in down there. Mentally, as well as physically. He knows we're not threats to him deep down, but he's been in such an odd state lately that I don't think we can predict what he'll do around us anymore."

Moblit's grip tightened minutely on the railing. "I know. And that both terrifies me and makes me really sad. The fact that he's being driven to hurt himself just like he did in Trost means that we've failed him as bad as they did."

Hanji's face pinched with guilt, for a moment, before she stated determinedly, "But we're going to fix him. We're not going to let him suffer."

And with that she watched him climb up the stairs, before putting on his fins, before she heard the telltale splash of him hopping into the water.

Moblit swam towards the cave at the bottom of the tank at a slow and steady pace that betrayed just how much his heart was pounding. Though he knew Hanji was spotting him outside, he still couldn't help but feel the sense of suspense and trepidation that always seemed to come for him whenever he swam down to the mermaid's cave. And what's more, he felt horrible that this is what it had come to, that they were back almost at the beginning with Levi when they had worked so hard to turn him around. But in the end, he knew it also wasn't completely their fault, nor was it completely Levi's. All they could do now was move forward, and that was what Moblit and Hanji planned to do, no matter what it took.

They cared about Levi too much, not just as a scientific curiosity, but as a friend, to let anything bad happen to him. And that thought above all else was what pushed Moblit to finish making his journey down and stop in front of that cave.

The mouth of it loomed black and solid as a wall of night, giving him more than just a little pause. He practically felt the unwelcome, foreboding energy radiating off of it, or that might have been just his own imagination. He only hesitated for a moment more, deciding it was better if he just got this done and over with, before knocking on the outside wall, as if he was knocking on a door. Moblit felt a little foolish doing so, but couldn't think of anything else to do to alert Levi to his presence. He thought it would be wiser not to surprise the mermaid or do anything else that might encourage him to lash out at them if he was indeed in a foul mood that day.

When nothing happened, he chanced slowly, very slowly inching forward until his head was poking into the cave, knocking at the walls some more just in case Levi hadn't heard him. But it became very apparent that he had in the next moment when Moblit heard a soft, low hiss, which at first he thought was just water moving past his ear. This was disproven a second later when that hiss was followed up by a growl that chilled his blood and made his heart stutter. He froze, feeling that growl reverberate through his body as well, and he swore he had heard a growl similar to this one in a nightmare he had had once. It was the sound of malice in its purest form, and if that wasn't convincing enough, it was followed up by the sudden shape of Levi lunging at Moblit from out of the darkness, teeth flashing, eyes narrowed, and claws slashing.

Moblit turned on his heel at the sight, heart in his throat, moving his legs as fast as he could and flailing about until he was upright and heading towards the surface. He heard Levi's teeth clack together, muffled though the sound was underwater, it was definitely there, and it sounded like it was vibrating all around him, though he couldn't be sure. He swam for all he was worth, fleeing towards the surface, not stopping until he broke through and had hauled himself up onto the rocks. For whatever reason, Levi hadn't followed him, but he didn't take notice of that fact until he was safely out of the tank, adrenaline still making him shaky.

Hanji raced up the stairs as fast as she could, seeing that he was already pulling off his flippers, though with how unsteady his hands were he was having trouble. She knelt down beside him to help.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that he hates us again," he observed, trying to keep his voice level and failing. When Hanji answered, she sounded just as out of breath as he was.

"Oh yes, guess that rules out asking Levi nicely to come up for an exam."

"Gee, you fucking think?" he said breathlessly, a hint of hysterical laughter in his voice. "But if we can't do that, what the hell are we supposed to do? Tranquilize him and force him out?"

"I'd rather not," Hanji said, cringing, "because even if we did, the drugs wouldn't last very long."

"Ah, I forgot about that." In their experience, no matter how much of the tranquilizers they seemed to dose Levi with within a safe amount, his body heat always seemed to burn off the effects much faster than a human's could, and therefore physical exams were always brief enough that they were nearly impossible to conduct.

She helped him up from the rocks, letting him lean on her the whole way out and down the stairs. "Well then what should we do?" he ended up asking her on the way down. "We can't just leave him in there to wither away."

"Of course not," she agreed, helping him take a few halting steps over to a seat near the viewing part of the tank, where they both sat down. Hanji stared into the deep blue of the water, noticing that the sand in front of Levi's cave was still stirred up, but once again there was no sign of the mermaid. It was such a stark contrast to how he had been for most of the year that it broke her heart, and of course brought to mind the one responsible for Levi's remarkable transformation. How devastated he would be if he knew what had happened to his mermaid here. And yet…

"Moblit," she finally sighed heavily, still staring into the still water of the tank, her face highlighted blue from the reflection, "I think it's time to call Eren."

He looked at her with wide, worried eyes. "Are you sure? Even with his school and all…?"

She nodded with finality. "Yes. Besides the fact that he'd want to know what's going on, I can't think of anyone else that would be able to convince Levi to come out of that cave without a fight."

Moblit stared at the ground for a moment, thinking, but when it was clear the pros outweighed the cons in his mind, he at last nodded in agreement. So, without further hesitation, Hanji reached inside her white coat pocket and pulled out her phone, dialed up Eren's number, and held it to her ear.

It rang several times, enough times that she thought he wasn't going to pick up, before she heard her former intern's voice on the other end of the line. After he greeted her, she responded back, "Hey Eren! I know this is going to seem sudden and odd, and I'm really sorry that I'm not calling with better news…ah, I guess I'll come out and say it. We, um, we really need you come home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! Oh my gosh guys I'm so sorry this took so long, but the semester is wrapping up for school, so things are a bit hectic. The good news is I'm almost done for this semester, so that means I'll be able to update more frequently! The bad news is, this fic is very close to being done, less than five chapters I'd say. However, good news again, I have another couple fics planned, so I'll probably start one of them next month, if my luck holds out! Thanks for tuning in again, and I have to give a huge shoutout to eveningstargazer. Without her this chapter would not exist, I swear, I kept turning around at every paragraph asking her for help with the flow of it, she is a goddess that walks among us for her help. Thank you so much again dude you are the best!


	29. Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after lots of careful thought, I've decided there will in fact be only two chapters more of this fic, including this one. So just this chapter and an epilogue. I hope you guys enjoy, because this is my longest chapter yet of this fic!

Eren had scrambled to pack his things and book a plane ticket for the first flight out the moment Hanji had called him with the news. He had thrown things into his suitcase with the fervor of one possessed, hands shaking. Once he had packed, he had explained to Armin on the phone on his way out of the dorms in a rush why he was leaving and that he'd call him when he could letting him know when he'd be back, before he had been out the door and hailing an Uber to take him to airport. Once he had boarded his plane, it was a five hour trip with just his buzzing thoughts and Hanji's words to him over the phone as company.

" _It's Levi. We haven't seen him for days in his tank. We've been trying to get him out, and he attacked Moblit today. Last we saw him, he didn't look good. He's been self-harming and….I'm worried he's in a bad way down there, and that's why he's not coming out. You're the only person I can think of that'll be able to get him out of that cave."_

 _He's sick or hurt,_ he told himself, resisting the urge to bang his head against the window of the plane in frustration and self-hatred. Instead, he gripped his own thighs tightly, digging his nails into the flesh above his knee. The pain soothed him for a brief moment, before his thoughts started right back up again. _He's dying down there. He's already dead. There'll be nothing you can do for him once you get down there. It's too late._

He gripped his pendant tight, his stone and the seashell Levi had given him digging into the skin of his palm, praying with everything he had that he was wrong.

By the time he landed, Eren had worked himself up into a fit of self-hatred and panic, the feelings hot and prickly as he paced back and forth while he waited for his suitcase like a caged animal, hands dug into his jacket pockets. He could actively feel his throat trying to close as he fought to breathe normally, to not give into the awful fear so that he could function normally when he got to the aquarium, for Levi's sake.

Luckily, by the time he got his suitcase and headed for the exit, Sasha was there waiting for him, thankfully not wasting their time with many words beyond a quick greeting before packing him into the driver's seat of her car, and speeding away from the curb as fast as she dared. The drive to the aquarium was spent in silence, Eren thankful for this fact because he was far too afraid that if he opened his mouth he might throw up all over the floor of the car from the nerves that were squeezing his stomach relentlessly, or that he might fly into a rage, or pass out from a panic attack, and he knew Sasha didn't want to deal with any of those things any more than he did. He didn't even see the lovely springtime scenery whipping past the window, blinded as he was by his vicious thoughts, which were screaming at him over and over again the same thing.

_You did this to him, you did this. It's your fault. You did this. If he's hurt or sick, it's because of you._

_If he dies, or if he's already dead, it's because of you._

By the time they finally arrived to the Sina aquarium, Eren felt dizzy, all the blood draining from his extremities as hyperventilation began to set in. He was beyond dying to hop out of the car, and he did so before it even stopped fully, Sasha exclaiming for him to wait as she almost ran over his foot with the tire. He shook his limbs for a moment as she placed it in park, trying to get the feeling back in them, stumbling a bit like he was drunk instead of trying to maintain a proper breathing pattern. He limped his way to the aquarium back doors, Sasha forced to sprint after him, holding him up as he tripped over barrier between the inside of the building and the outside pavement.

Thankfully, Sasha didn't bother trying to tell him to slow down after that. Instead, she just jogged alongside him to match his long strides, apologizing to people he pushed his way past and helping him when he stumbled or tripped to remain upright. It was only when he reached the lab successfully did she take her leave, figuring her job was done and being far too nervous to witness what was going to happen when Eren did in fact see the extent of Levi's condition. So, she ran out of the dimly lit hallway as quickly as possible.

Eren for his part didn't even notice when Sasha left. And the moment he saw Hanji and Moblit, before they could even utter a word, he was demanding, "Where's a wetsuit and scuba gear? We're wasting time standing here, we gotta"-

"Eren, Eren, easy," Hanji held up her hand in a placating gesture. "I'm not letting you go in that tank until you calm down."

Rather than helping, those words had the exact opposite effect. Eren swelled and his eyes narrowed, before he rounded on the both of them, shouting, "How the fuck can I be calm right now? I've been on the verge of screaming or throwing up the entire way here! Do you know how much I've been fighting taking my keys and digging them into my thighs to punish myself because…because"-

And with those words, he very suddenly deflated, his expression changing abruptly into one of deep sorrow. His body seemed to collapse on itself, the boy sinking to his knees and his shouts transforming into a choked, angry sob, though no longer directed at Moblit or Hanji, but rather at himself. The two of them raced over to him, Hanji kneeling down next to him while Moblit hovered, ready to act if Hanji gave him the word. They both began to ask if he was okay, but stopped once his tears picked up in earnest.

"This is my fault," he cried, harshly wiping at his eyes, "all of it. God fucking dammit, can I do nothing right? Can I really prevent nobody from getting hurt because of my stupid decisions? First me, then Levi, what the hell is wrong with me? I should be fucking shot if he's sick or worse because I was too selfish to stay here with him, I don't deserve to live"-

"Eren!" Hanji exclaimed in alarm as she grabbed by his shoulders and gave him a shake, "That's enough!"

He stopped his babbling the moment she put her hands on him, as if he had literally been shaken out of his self-loathing stupor. His eyes cleared minutely, though his hot tears still flowed fast down his cheeks as he stared at her, expression lost, and Hanji knew she had to be very careful in choosing her next words, because they could either motivate Eren to help his friend who needed him desperately or break the poor boy in front of her.

"Alright," she began in a low voice, "Now you listen to me and you listen good. You've been going to see that psychologist of yours for close to eight months now, and I can't believe that she wouldn't tell you that a situation like this isn't your fault. Yes, Levi missed you, and that pain probably contributed to him hurting himself"-

Eren winced, and started to pull away from her, but Hanji held firm.

"-but let me emphasize, _you cannot make someone hurt themselves._ He made that decision all on his own. And you know what, as hard as it is to hear, if it hadn't been you leaving, he might have found another trigger that would have brought about this kind of behavior. You should know that better than anyone. You care about him deeply, but you can't stay with him all the time. You need to live your life, and Levi knows that, of course he does. And you did everything you could to keep in touch with him so that he wouldn't miss you as much, but unfortunately, university work and your future comes before relationships. You are not selfish, you are not uncaring, and his faulty coping mechanisms are _not your fault._ "

Eren shook his head, still unconvinced. "But-But…"

She squeezed his shoulders, silencing him, and fixed him with a harder stare. "Look at it this way," Hanji explained seriously, "Reiner didn't make you hurt yourself, did he? The stress from living with him did, but not Reiner himself. He didn't tell you to cut yourself, you made that decision. Do you understand?"

The boy's breathing began to pick up a bit, his heart pounding. She wasn't comparing him to his ex, was she? The very thought made him feel ill. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his shoulders rising and falling with the effort, and he kept his eyes fixed on the ground between them for a bit, staring at their knees. But he was just like Reiner in that way, he figured. He had driven Levi to cut himself, even if he hadn't meant to. Hanji saw his face blanch, and then must have realized what she said, because her eyes widened with alarm and she tried to backpedal.

"Oh my God, no," she gasped, "No, no I didn't mean that you're like Reiner, that's not- shit, I'm sorry Eren. I didn't mean it that way. I only meant that there was nothing you could have done for Levi, there really wasn't. What happened wasn't your fault. I promise it wasn't your fault."

Her words didn't make him feel better, but they did help to ground him a bit more, until he was certain he could look at her in the eye and nod slightly.

"Well, regardless," Moblit said from his place beside them, "we need to get Eren in that tank ASAP. If you'll be okay in here for a minute, Hanji and I will go grab your scuba gear."

Eren sniffed and shakily got to his feet. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine."

He and Hanji gave him one last concerned look before leaving the lab, and Eren heard their footsteps echoing down the hallway as they sprinted away.

They were soon back with a wetsuit and scuba gear, letting Eren get on the wetsuit before helping him with the gear while they walked to the tank. The shakiness was back in Eren's limbs, an odd, numb, tingly feeling also taking up residence in them. His heart pounded irregularly, painfully, and suddenly he was terrified once more. He could feel himself on the verge of a panic attack the entire walk to the tank, until the tank itself was in his sight. And then, oddly, as soon as that familiar blue glow of the water washed over him and he took in the sight of Levi's still, silent cave, he felt the fear begin to drain out of him, little by little. Perhaps it was because, when he saw just how quiet everything in the tank was, how eerily similar it was compared to the first time he had, that the reality fully sunk in.

The yellow caution tape was even back on the walls surrounding the viewing glass.

He felt his heart skip a few beats in his chest from the horror of the sight, before he forced himself to take several deep breaths once more. That, more than anything, reinforced that he needed to get ahold of himself. He could panic later. Now, Levi needed him just as badly as he had nearly a year ago when they had first met. Perhaps even more so now.

As he walked up the familiar set of stairs, Hanji and Moblit following behind him and offering him instruction on how he should approach Levi, Eren found that he heard absolutely none of it; it was as if he was already underwater, their voices sounding far away and muted. Whatever they were telling him, for some reason, it didn't matter to him at the moment. As he finally came to the top of the stairs and gazed at the surface of the water, strangely still and shimmering with the artificial lights that hung above them, his mind went blissfully blank. For a moment, there was only him, the water, and a burning sense of purpose.

Even Hanji and Moblit went quiet for a moment as they watched Eren stare at the water, unblinking for a moment. Before they could ask if he was okay, he turned around to face them and murmured, "Okay, I'm ready."

Both of them sighed with relief, before Hanji handed Eren his flippers and Moblit did one last check to make sure that his gear was in good working order. There was another beat of silence, and then Eren tipped backwards off of the end of the pathway and disappeared under the water in a cloud of bubbles.

000

Both time and space had ceased to have any meaning a long time ago for Levi. Being in his cave, he felt as though he was suspended in a single, endless night. A second was measured as the space between his each drawn out throbbing of his tail. Other than that, he had no way to tell how much time had passed since he had hidden away from the outside world, too ashamed to face it anymore. And now, he was so weak that even if he wanted to, he couldn't.

He knew what was wrong with him, or at least, he had an idea. The weakness had of course started when he stopped eating, but it had grown exponentially worse when his tail had begun hurting like it had. Some of the areas he had chewed on weren't healing like they should have been, instead only growing more painful, tender and hot to the touch as the days wore on. It hurt to swim for long periods of time, then he could only do so for short periods of time with frequent rests, then it hurt to swim at all. Once that started, he had holed himself up in his cave and laid down on the soft area that was supposed to be his bed, hoping the cool water inside the cave would soothe the hot wounds on his tail, but it was doing next to nothing. In fact, now there was a sour smell filling the cave now that made his nose wrinkle, and he wished there was a way he could get away from it. This was aside from the smell of his own piss and shit that surrounded him; he was so weak he couldn't even get up to use the bathroom anymore, and his own excrement floating in the water couldn't have been helping his wounds any.

However, what really scared him was that lately, in addition to the horrendous, steady pain that had taken away his ability to swim, he had begun to feel ill as well.

It had only started a day or so ago, if he were to guess, but already it was so bad. He was shivering as if he had been dropped in the middle of the Arctic, his muscles aching, and yet he felt a veil of humid heat surrounding his cheeks and forehead. His breaths felt too hot in his throat, his eyes too hot in their sockets, and his skin too tight for his body. Levi had been sick before, but never like this, never where he felt like he was so terribly, bone deep exhausted that it was too much effort to even think. Instead, his thoughts hung listlessly in his head, no motivation to string themselves together into coherent sentences.

Levi felt a sudden spasm in his hollow gut, a throbbing that seemed to engulf his entire upper body. His abdomen muscles, now stretched far too tight over his protruding ribs, clenched warningly, and he knew what was coming. However, he no longer had the strength or the will to lift himself up while he vomited, and he knew nothing would be coming out anyway. He only had the chance to moan pathetically into the silence before he began retching, still laying there, boneless, on his side, head thankfully propped above the water by a moss covered stone. He felt bile burn its way up, and he spat it out of his mouth. That was all that came up, and yet his stomach still kept clenching, and it was horrid, alien feeling. Levi cursed his body for doing this, to hurt him for no reason by trying to rid itself of something that just wasn't there. It felt like it went on forever before it ceased at last, leaving him to moan in agony, his wounds throbbing even worse now.

He lay there for several moments afterward, panting, the sound hurting his pounding head as it echoed off the walls. He shivered uncontrollably and found himself whimpering as he did so; even shivering hurt.

Levi wished he had the strength to get up and swim to the surface. He just wanted help from someone, he didn't care who it was anymore. But it was too late now, he figured. What a way to die, alone and in the dark, surrounded by his own waste and vomit. Certainly not how he imagined it. Rather, lately, he had imagined passing away softly in Eren's arms with his boy's face being the last thing he saw, his smell in his nose comforting him as he took his last breath.

Oh well, he thought with a sigh. At least he'd be able to see his mother again. These years without her had been so exhausting….

His breath rattled loudly in his ears as he faced the entrance to the cave, his eyes feeling heavier and heavier, consciousness drifting further away. So it was no surprise that when he first heard the water being disturbed outside his cave, he thought he had imagined it. But no, there it was again. Something was clearly there. Instinct told him it was a predator that knew he was weak and had come to finish him off, but logic told him that was impossible. Still, his instincts screamed at him that he couldn't afford to show weakness. He lifted his head from the stone as far as he could and began snarling, though it sounded far too soft and pitiful to his own ears, almost a purr rather than a threat. His upper lip twitched, but he knew his enemy would barely be able to see his teeth. Yet, he kept it up, not knowing what else to do.

When a dark figure in scuba gear rose a few feet away from him, his growling picked up, though it still sounded terribly pathetic, and he tried to look as menacing as he could. Though the effect was ruined by how heavy his eyelids felt, falling into slits as he fought the urge to pass out. He was helpless as the person raised a hand, and Levi prepared for the worst.

However, when the person took off his mask and revealed his face, the mermaid became convinced that he must have died hours ago, and that this was heaven.

"Levi, it's me," the boy above him was saying gently, trying to appease him, "It's me. I came back. You-oh God, look at you, what a mess. Oh Levi, Levi I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. Levi look at me, please look at me…"

But Levi couldn't look at him. His eyelids felt like they had been weighed down by boulders, and they closed without his consent. His mind drifted, and he felt as if he was already floating, a ringing beginning in his ears. He thought he felt someone trying to shake his shoulders, but it was most likely just part of his rapidly forming dream. And so were the next, beautiful words that he could have sworn were whispered right in his ear.

" _Hold onto me, Levi. This time, I'm going to be the one to save you from drowning."_

000

" _-isn't good, we need"-_

" _My fault, this is my fault, if I hadn't"-_

" _-ault. Shit his pulse is so weak"-_

When Levi woke, he thought he was still floating inside a dream for several minutes. However, this illusion was quickly shattered when he felt an agonizing bolt of pain in his lower body, so intense that he screamed himself into full consciousness and began thrashing, trying to escape the source without even knowing where he was. The second thing he became aware of was he was laying on something ice cold and hard, something that sapped away at his body heat rapidly. He jerked his tail, trying to swim away, but he felt no water moving beneath it. Growing more panicked, he jerked it again, still crying out shrilly.

"Levi! Levi no, calm down!" he heard a voice above his head shout over the noise, and then suddenly, he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, gently trying to hold him still. He didn't have to look at the person to know it was Eren; he'd be able to recognize his boy even if he had gone completely blind and deaf.

The adrenaline left Levi pretty quickly, his energy reserves dangerously low in his deprived body. In no time at all, he was forced to lay still, panting, his protruding ribs heaving up and down. Eren's face entered his blurry vision, expression so worried that it broke the mermaid's heart. He could see that he was still in his wetsuit, and that his hair was even still wet.

"Shh," he hushed him, brushing the hair away from the mermaid's damp forehead, "Easy now. It's okay, I'm here. You're in one of the exam rooms. Hanji and Moblit are trying to get a vet in here for you."

Levi's cries tapered out into little whimpers as Eren's voice grounded him, reducing his panic enough so that he could think coherently enough to form words between their bodies. _"What's going on?"_

Eren kept stroking his hair out of his forehead, and the motion calmed Levi a little further. "We're not sure. We didn't get much of a look at your tail, but we don't need to know that something is really wrong. You're sick and hurt. We need a vet to look at you so we can see how to make you better."

The mermaid wasn't entirely sure what he was talking about, but he trusted him. Anything that would make him better, he didn't care what it was at this point. If they wanted to go ahead and cut his tail off at this point he would gladly let them do it. He tried to nose his way closer to Eren on the table, but it was difficult to do so, impossible even when he felt so weak. However, the boy got the message and scooted closer up to the table, placing a hand against Levi's feverish cheek, stroking it as gently as he could. He wanted to say so many things to the mermaid, but he looked so bleary and out of it that he didn't think any of it would register. So he kept his mouth clenched shut, providing as much physical comfort as he could.

Within moments, he saw the vet enter the room with the two scientists trailing behind. Levi lifted his head the tiniest bit, rolling his eyes down so that he could see what was going on, but too soon, he was forced to lay it back down again. Eren leaned down and grabbed a couple of towels that he had used to dry his hair, placing them under Levi's head to take the strain off his neck. Luckily, the vet wasted no time and began his exam as quickly as possible. Eren recognized him vaguely, knowing he had helped the dolphins that had been Levi's neighbors recover from their ordeal.

"Well, it's easy to see just from looking at his tail that it's infected," the vet pointed out. "Yeah, ugh, look, there's puss coming out of the wound, and it's raised and red, and it smells pretty bad. The way the wound is shaped, it looks like something bit him."

"He must have done it," Hanji explained. "He's been self-harming for weeks now."

"Ah, that explains it. The bacteria in his mouth probably caused the infection then. And the infection is causing the high body temperature. I can feel the heat radiating off of him from here. I wouldn't be shocked if he had sepsis at this point, but only a blood test will be able to confirm that."

"Oh shit, he's not going to like that," Moblit warned.

Levi wasn't exactly sure what a blood test entailed, but he felt everyone's apprehension in the room, and he suddenly grew unsettled again. He looked at everyone with huge, scared eyes, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he fought the panic. At the edge of his vision, he saw the vet moving around, Hanji assisting him, but couldn't see exactly what he was doing. A second later, he felt a sharp poke directly into his tail fluke, and he let out a shriek that was so shrill and sharp from the shock that everyone froze and covered their ears. Levi tried to get away from the source of the pain, tail thrashing, teeth bared. He heard a few things clatter to the ground, and he knew he must have knocked a few things off of the exam table. Everyone was suddenly standing up at once to try and calm him down. Surrounded on all sides, Levi felt closed in, threatened, and he lashed out, sinking his teeth into the first object that got in his way.

However, he let go immediately when he heard Eren yelp in pain and stagger backwards, clutching his forearm. Blood seeped through his fingers, and Hanji quickly raced over to grab him a towel to press against the wound. Levi stilled immediately, his stomach dropping when the sight of the pain on Eren's face registered. In fact, he went so still that the vet quickly swooped in and finished his job of taking blood from his fluke. Levi didn't even flinch.

His boy looked up at him, his face white, his mouth set into a hard grimace, and yet, to his astonishment, Levi could see that he was trying to smile at him.

"It's okay," he was trying to reassure him over Moblit's shoulder, "I'm not mad, kid. That was our fault, I'm sorry. We should have known better."

Levi made a high keening noise in his throat, guilt choking him, but before he could begin to apologize, Moblit was pulling Eren out of the room.

_No, oh please don't leave me again. Please not again…_

He reached for Eren, trying to scoot off the table to follow him, but someone held him down, and he had no choice to obey. The mermaid was then left alone with the vet and Hanji, but soon even the vet left him, carrying Levi's vial of blood to the lab, while Hanji remained behind, sitting up by Levi's head.

"They'll be back," she reassured him, "just give them a few minutes. I know Eren would fight his way past all of us before he let you go through this alone."

The twenty minutes Levi remained in that room alone save for the scientist, whom he mostly ignored anyway, felt like an eternity. He never broke his stare with the door Eren had disappeared through, whining anxiously the entire time and trying to lift his head off from the table every time he heard a noise that might signal his boy's return. Hanji pushed him down every time and even returned the damp towels under his head. When Eren finally turned, he began whimpering weakly and apologetically, reaching for his boy, even more so when he saw the giant white bandage that was now wrapped around his boy's arm. Eren took Hanji's place beside him, a soft smile still in place as he reached out to stroke Levi's hair again.

"It's alright," he told him. "They said I get to keep the arm. I just got the wound cleaned and got a shot of some antibiotics. It should be all good."

Levi nosed his way towards Eren's bandage, giving it a couple of tiny licks. And then, to Eren's surprise, he began to purr, holding Eren's arm against his throat so he could feel the vibrations all the way up his shoulder and down into his chest. But the boy knew what he was doing, and he felt his heart stutter when the realization hit him. Levi was trying to speed up the healing of his wound; just as a cat's purring helps to heal their bodies when they're sick or injured, so did a mermaid's purr. But the purr was so weak and watery sounding, like Levi was using all of his available strength to try and heal his boy…it broke Eren's heart, and he gently told him, "You don't have to do that, Levi. I'm not mad at you, and I'll be okay. Moblit and I joked back there that we'll have matching scars now. It's just another way I'll get to carry you with me, you know?"

Levi didn't respond, except to purr harder, going from sounding his lungs were full of water to a dying motor, and he continued to hold Eren's arm.

Eren didn't pull away either, not even when the vet came back twenty minutes later and confirmed their fears; Yes, Levi had sepsis. But the good news was, he was still near the beginning of it.

"The bad news is, in order to treat him for that and the infection, we're going to have to remove the infected tissue and clean the wound," the vet explained.

The boy felt Levi stop purring immediately when he said those words, and he stiffened up imperceptibly, tightening his grip on Eren's arm against his throat. He glanced up at his boy with terrified eyes and began whining pitifully, understanding enough that whatever they were going to do next, he wasn't going to like it. Seeing this, Eren pulled his hand away slightly so that he could also grip Levi's hand, instead of Levi gripping his forearm, and asked on the mermaid's behalf, "So, wait, what does that mean?"

"It means," the vet said, rifling around the new tray he had brought with him, "that I'm going to have to operate. Which is going to be difficult, considering I hear he doesn't respond well to anesthetic. So we're just going to have to give him the local anesthetic, which won't put him to sleep, but will numb the area where I'm working, and we're going to have to keep injecting him as it begins to wear off."

Levi's whining picked up when the vet began asking Moblit and Hanji for their help in prepping for surgery; cleaning their arms, slapping on scrubs, and putting up a curtain that covered Levi's lower half so the mermaid couldn't see what was happening. His heart rate spiked dramatically, when he saw all manner of shiny, sharp instruments being placed on the tray, even more so when they handed Eren a pair of scrubs and told him to put them on over his wet suit and he was forced to let go of the mermaid's hand. He began to shriek and tried to wiggle away again, away from the vet and towards Eren. The boy held up his hands, pausing in this changing, his mouth already forming reassurances that he was hurrying, he'd be back by Levi's side in a second, but instead, Hanji came over to stand by the mermaid's side, placing a hand on his shoulder. Levi glanced up at her, and while his whining diminished at the contact, it didn't stop completely.

"It's okay, Levi, he'll be right up here with you the whole time," she told him soothingly.

"Is that where you guys want me during this?" Eren asked as he put the surgical cap in his head.

Hanji nodded. "I think that would be wisest. Just stay up here by Levi, keep him as calm as you can. Wet him down when he gets too dry. You know the drill. We're going to try and make this as fast and easy as possible, okay?"

Eren answered, "Alright," while Levi pretended she wasn't there, too wrapped up in his fear to really respond. Nevertheless, Hanji still squeezed his shoulder comfortingly, before wishing him good luck and going back behind the curtain.

When Levi began to shake from the sheer terror of the situation and his own helplessness, Eren quickly sat back down by his head and took his hand again, saying, "You heard her. I'm not going to leave you. Whatever you need, I'm here, Levi. I'm right here."

The mermaid continued to shiver, but squeezed Eren's hand a little tighter, and pulled it closer to himself until his forearm was tucked under his chin, bracing for what was to come.

When he felt another needle prick his tail near the place where his infection raged, Levi yelped like an startled dog, but he didn't move. He quickly flicked his eyes up to Eren's face, squeezed his hand tightly, and found the strength to keep still as stone. The sound pierced Eren's heart, and he swore he could feel the mermaid's temperature spike from the stress. He leaned over and came up with a wet rag, dabbing it on Levi's neck and shoulders, and Levi found it just the tiniest bit soothing. After having been out of the water for so long, it was a relief to feel it again. But that was only the first few minutes.

Soon after, the numbing agent began to take effect, a feeling that ripped its way down his tail and spread all the way to the tips of his flukes. It was so odd, so uncomfortable that it was almost painful, and awfully frightening, to suddenly not be able to feel the entire lower half of his body. Immediately, it brought up flashbacks of when he had firs met Eren and his dad had numbed up his tail so that he could sew his wounds shut. Perhaps they were going to do that now for him.

The first few pokes to his tail came soon after, and while they weren't necessarily painful, they were desperately uncomfortable, making his stomach do all sorts of queasy flips and his pulse pound hard enough that it was visible in his neck. All Levi could feel was foreign pressure that made his skin crawl and set his nerves on edge. He panted hard, squeezing Eren's hand so tightly that his friend's bones creaked, and he knew he had to let up otherwise he risked breaking them. So, to take the pressure off, he tried to bite at his own arm, mouthing the skin. Eren saw this and immediately stopped it, pulling Levi's forearm away from his mouth and replacing it with another towel, which he reluctantly took in his mouth and chewed on instead.

After a little while, Levi almost began to relax, ignoring the awful smells of the surgery and finding a rhythm with the pressure of the instruments as they poked around at his flesh. His mind was on high alert for so long and his body so stiff with preparation for fight or flight when he could do neither, and lacking the energy to stay too on edge for long, his body seemed to give up when it realized the pain wasn't coming. Still, he very much wanted the whole thing to be over with as soon as possible, and he very much appreciated Eren staying with him. His boy had draped himself over Levi, holding his upper body against his own chest and covering him protectively so his mermaid didn't have to look at the outside world. He spoke to him softly the entire time about happier times they shared that summer; playing with Fern, Levi trying tea and chocolate for the first time, the two of them swimming together on those bright, shiny afternoons…it all came together to form a warm, lovely picture in his mind only made more vivid by Eren's soothing voice.

He was trying so hard to lose himself in the fantasy his boy was trying to create for him, so caught up in the warm darkness and Eren's musky scent that at first he didn't notice that the anesthetic was beginning to wear off.

When the pinching turned into more vivid, blinding pain, he began to shriek shrilly again, spitting the towel out and wriggling on the table in an effort to escape it. He kept crying and crying, tears welling in his eyes, begging for Eren to help him without words. When his boy pulled back, he gazed directly into his face, eyes huge and pleading.

"What's wrong?" Eren asked loudly over the mermaid's shrieking. "Are you hurting? Do you feel like you're going to be sick?

Levi nodded, though he was so weak and so overcome by pain at that moment that his head did little more than twitch downwards once or twice. He could hear the vet, Hanji and Moblit trying to soothe him as well, telling him to calm down and lay still, that they weren't finished yet, but Levi didn't want to hear it. He wanted this to be over _now_ , and if it went on for much longer he was sure he was going to pass out. Or his heart would simply give out from the strain. He had to let Eren know what was wrong, otherwise one or both things might happen.

And now that he had Eren back, he most definitely was not ready to die yet.

Slowly, he chanced letting go Eren's hand, his pulse beating unevenly in his throat as he lost the comforting contact, everything screaming in him to latch back on, it was the only way he was going to survive this. But no, he had to, had to let Eren know what was going on. And his poor boy looked so worried when he let go, his eyes reflecting Levi's own fear…so, with trembling hands, he signed both "needle" and "hurts," repeating "hurts" several times in a row. As soon as he understood, Eren yelled down towards the vet frantically, "Stop what you're doing! The anesthetic wore off, give him more!"

He heard Moblit swear behind the curtain before the vet immediately ceased his actions. A moment later, Levi felt the deep, sharp sting of the needle, and he whined long and low in response, grappling for Eren's hand again, and the boy took it, but Levi didn't tuck it under his chin again. His tail began to become numb once more, and as soon as he lost the feeling in it, he felt the vet resume his surgery. The return of the deeply uncomfortable pressure was far too much for the mermaid; he felt like he was going to be stuck here forever, the sickness and discomfort becoming a permanent part of him. He moaned tremulously, feeling ill at the thought.

 _Oh please not now,_ Levi begged his body, swallowing several times in a useless attempt to stop his stomach from revolting, _I can't do this, I can't take one more thing, please no._

But evidently, this was not going to be a case where his mind won out over his body. Once more, unable to sit up, he began to retch pitifully while lay prone on his side. However, unlike before, Eren was here, and he quickly helped Levi sit up so that his head was hanging over the operating table. The boy felt his stomach clench in sympathy, not only for the fact that Levi was throwing up, but the fact that he was completely limp in his grip, his body resisting no more than doll's would.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry," Eren murmured. He felt Levi jerk a few times, and then still, going silent in his arms. He bent forward, kissing his hair once the vomiting had run its course. He found that he was sadly unsurprised that Levi had brought up nothing from his stomach. Instead, he heard a faint tinkling sound, and got a whiff of something pungent, and looking down, he saw that Levi had lost control of his bladder and that his urine was dripping onto the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut in sympathy, hugging Levi more tightly. But the mermaid didn't react at all; no change in his breathing, no sign that he even noticed that he had let go. He supposed he understood; his lower body must have felt numb to the point that he no longer had control over it. He felt the mermaid sink into his arms, a complete dead weight, and Eren knew if he let go right now, not only would Levi collapse, he had no energy to break his fall at all. So he held tight, listening to his poor mermaid wheezing against his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," he insisted. "They're almost done. It's alright love. It's alright…"

Levi listened to what Eren was saying, but his boy sounded as if he had plunged underwater. And no matter how much he focused, he couldn't make out exactly what he was saying. He snuggled a little further into Eren's arms, but he did so with the air of one who is only half awake, his movements sleepy and uncoordinated. His eyelids were getting heavy and he was shivering hard. His own breathing was too loud and slow in his ears, the only thing he could actually hear clearly at the moment. His vision had gone fuzzy, made evident when Eren pulled back and he could barely make out his face anymore. He thought he looked worried though, at least, perhaps he did. He seemed to be drifting further and further away, being taken away from him by the current, and he had no strength to hold onto him. The dark undertow swooped up and yanked Levi away, water roaring by his ears and across his eyes, before it faded to a high pitched ringing that stretched on forever.

000

When Levi had first woken up after his surgery several days ago, Eren had always been a fixture at his side. He was attentive to Levi's every need, always on the edge of his vision, never more than a whisper away. As constant as the ocean itself, he was there. He was comforting Levi through his pain, holding him steady either in the water or against his body in the small recovery pool. He was monitoring his infection even more closely than the vet, and curled around him constantly so he could keep track of his fever. He did so with the manner of one so overwhelmed by their worry that all other emotions were silenced in response.

Now, he was still there, still attending to Levi's every need. He was still making sure that the I.V bag Levi was attached to was always full, and that he ate every single one of his meals, many of which he hand fed him. He still slept by him at night, sacrificing his own comfort to spend it laying right outside the tank in a tiny cot. He monitored Levi's wound every day, the incision site growing smaller every day and the skin around it looking healthier. His relief began to set in as he saw Levi's progress, and along with that relief, Levi noticed that he was beginning to distance himself. Disappearing for an hour at a time, then a couple hours. Missing one of his feedings, then every other one, then dropping the bucket for Levi and letting him feed himself before leaving. Being there when he'd fall asleep but not when he'd wake up, making up excuses as to why he had to leave, acting more awkward and tense around the mermaid. Levi was growing concerned. He knew he had fucked up, and that was putting it mildly. But if Eren wasn't here, then he couldn't work on fixing what needed to be fixed with him.

A horrible thought occurred to Levi one day as he sat up in the shallow end of the recovery pool. What if Eren was avoiding him because he was angry with him over hurting himself? After all, he was making Eren miss his classes. Did Eren think that Levi doing this to himself was all a ploy to get him to come home, and he was so furious that he was avoiding him now? Levi began to shake at the thought. It looked bad, oh it looked so bad, but he knew in his heart of hearts that it wasn't true. But he had no idea how to explain that to Eren.

His heart began to pound, and his head followed suit as awful thoughts began to race around it, telling him what a terrible person he was, that he was ruining Eren's life, that if Eren had never met him, he'd be better off. That Levi needed to stay away from him, and if he did that, Eren could live a long, happy life free of the unnecessary anguish the mermaid had put him through. He wasn't worth it anyway, was he?

The mermaid glanced down at his tail again, feeling tears well up in his eyes. The skin was healing wonderfully, no longer red and sick looking, but fading back to pink. They said it would even be ready to stitch up soon. Yet he felt the itch in his teeth, in his claws, and in his very skin, to tear it open again, to mangle himself since no one else would punish him for his misdeeds. He ran his nails over his tail, making the scratches deeper and deeper with every pass, but not enough to break the skin. Still, the sting was tantalizing, and it created a swell of white noise in his mind that effectively drowned out the logic that was trying to scream at him, no, this was wrong. He hooked his nails into his skin, sucking in a breath and stilling his lungs altogether when he saw blood bead up around them.

"Levi, hey, what are you doing? Stop!" he heard a cry behind him.

The mermaid whipped his head around, only getting a glimpse of Eren before the boy all but tackled him sideways into the water, ripping his hands away from his tail and pinning them against his sides. Levi didn't bother to fight back; whatever Eren was going to do him now, he deserved it. And from how heavily his boy was breathing, though he couldn't see his face, as his head was lowered, his hair tickling Levi's upper arm and shoulder, he had to be furious with him. Levi closed his eyes, accepting his fate, bracing himself for the tirade of negative words he knew was going to come.

But when Eren spoke, it was as soft and gentle as if he was comforting Levi through his surgery all over again.

"Please don't," his boy was saying, almost begging, "please don't ever do that again. I can't-can't- you stupid mermaid, I know it's hard to resist, but it's how you got into this mess in the first place. Levi, please don't. My heart can't take it."

Levi barely stopped himself from jumping in surprise at the words he was saying and tone Eren was taking with him. He only grew more surprised when he began to utter brokenly, "I know this is my fault in the first place. I'm so sorry for leaving you here. If I had just stayed, none of this would have- w-we wouldn't…"

He sucked in a surprised breath when he felt Eren situate himself so that he could press his face into Levi's shoulder, straddling his lap and hugging him tightly. Stunned, he sat there with his hands hovering over Eren's back, until he felt his shoulders begin to shudder and heard soft sobs. Only then did he lay them along his boy's spine, and sorrowfully buried his face against his shoulder.

This was way, way worse than thinking Eren was angry with him.

How could his boy even say so those things when they were so clearly untrue? He listened as Eren continued to mumble against his skin, repeating over and over again what an idiot he was, how he never seemed to make the right decisions…how he was no better a person now than when he was with Reiner, and that for Levi was the final straw. He pushed Eren away from his chest, glaring at him sternly, and made sure he was looking at him before he spoke.

" _Eren, none of this is your fault,"_ he said slowly, carefully choosing his words. _"I…I didn't hurt myself because of you. You leaving might have been the trigger but I…no, shit, that's not how I meant to say, I'm sorry. What I mean to say was I used to do this long before I knew you. It's just what happens when I'm stressed. I wish I knew how to stop, but…just, please Eren, don't beat yourself up over something that clearly isn't your fault. It's just my own messed up head."_

Eren sniffed, wiping at his eyes roughly with the back of his hand. "Still..."

" _No. It's my problem, and yet I dragged all of you into it with me, and for that I can't be sorry enough. Did I miss you? Yes, but I know how important school is to you, and how you have to be there. The logical part of me knows that, and it also knows that you should get back there as soon as you can."_

Incredibly, Eren laughed, the sound all congested through his dripping nose. When Levi stared at him in confusion, he explained, "You sound like my parents. Don't worry _dad_ , I'm planning on going back to school in two days. Already have my ticket and everything. Not going to miss my finals and I plan on making up my work on the flight back. I'll make graduation, and then I'll officially be a marine biologist with a concentration in animal vocalizations."

Levi's expression softened into one of fondness, pride filling his chest at the thought of Eren accomplishing his goals and achieving what he had been so passionate about for years. But that pride shifted a moment later into apprehension when Eren continued, "But before I can go back to doing that, we need to teach you better coping mechanisms for dealing with stress."

Levi wasn't so sure any coping mechanism would overcome the powerful urge he felt to hurt himself; even now, just talking about it, he felt the need to do it again. But he supposed if anyone could help him, it would be someone who had been there.

Eren sighed, and then got off of Levi's lap, choosing instead to kneel next to him, before he said slowly, unsurely, "Though…before we can do that, I think we need to address what's causing you to want to hurt yourself in the first place. That's what my therapist did for me, and once I understood the cause, it made recognizing and fighting the impulse a lot easier."

The mermaid was dubious, but trusted Eren. He continued to listen as the boy explained, "I've been thinking about this since I got home…but I believe, maybe, there's a chance the reason you did this doesn't even have to do with me. You said it yourself, you've been doing this since you were kept in Trost, and I wasn't there to leave you then. Levi, what thoughts run through your head when you hurt yourself?"

For Levi, that was easy; his thoughts were always so violently loud, his feelings so potent when he dug his claws into his flesh or rubbed his skin against the concrete walls that it scared him. _"How frustrated, scared, and angry I am."_

"At what?"

" _Myself, mostly. For giving in and hurting myself. For…not being able to let go."_

"Of what, Levi?" Eren asked, placing a supporting hand on his shoulder.

The mermaid thought about it, and decided, _"Of the bad experiences that caused these feelings. It's like, when I'm all alone in that tank, I feel so lonely and horribly bored, but more than that, I feel trapped. That's all I could think when I lived in Trost, was how trapped I was. How I didn't have the option to leave that prison. If I just had the freedom to choose where I wanted to go instead of having it be decided for me, I think my mind would feel a lot better, not so hot and sick all the time. But there's no way for that to happen. You gave me that option when you were here, and then you left and the anger came back and then…"_

"Shh, shh," Eren quickly murmured when Levi began to shake. He moved behind him, sitting so that his legs were spread on either side of his body, and he placed his chin on the top of his head, holding him around his middle. Seeing Levi say these things, as heartbreaking as they were, were also a weight off his chest so massive he felt dizzy with the relief of it. Levi didn't blame him after all, though he most likely never did. Still, it would still take a bit before the guilt left Eren completely. He squeezed his mermaid a little bit tighter, and reiterated, "So I'm hearing you say you wanted freedom? That's what made you hurt yourself? That desire to leave your tank and go where you wanted and not being able to?"

"… _yes,"_ Levi finally signed, hesitating to confirm it out loud, afraid it would make it real, unchangeable. But what was so bad about that? It had been an unchangeable fact for him for most of his life. However, having met Eren made him realize something else too. _"I want to be free, but I want to be free with you. More than anything, I want the power to be able to follow you wherever you go."_

A sudden grimace came over Levi's face, and he quickly amended, _"I don't mean_ every _where you go. I'm not following you into the bathroom when you take a shit, or hanging outside your door when you undress- well, I mean, unless you want me to I mean, I-shit, this is coming out all wrong."_

Before he could try and correct himself, he noticed, to his astonishment, that Eren had the gall to start laughing at him again. He felt the vibrations in his throat against his head, and he raised an eyebrow that of course the boy couldn't see, but he felt the need to express his annoyance anyway. It melted away a moment later when he felt Eren's lips against his cheek, his eyes going comically wide and his face heating up just as hot as when he had had his fever. Despite the fact that his tail still hurt a substantial amount, it was washed away for that instant, and instead Levi was reminded of just how stupidly infatuated he was with this ridiculous human. He leaned back into Eren's arms, and his boy held him up.

"Levi…" Eren began soft after a moment, "Maybe there's a way I can help you obtain the freedom you want."

The mermaid didn't move, but he grew stiff and silent in his arms. Was he going to suggest what he thought he was going to?

"If I- what if that story you told me was true? The one from this summer? Where a mermaid's true love can turn them human forever if they kiss them?"

Levi morosely voiced his long held fears. _"What if you're not my true love?"_

Eren just shrugged and said optimistically, "We won't know unless we try."

The drying water on Levi's back made his skin prickle in sudden anticipation, and he twisted around to face Eren as best he could. His heart pounded, he shivered, and slowly, ever so slowly, he looked between Eren's eyes and lips, and began to lean forward. But Eren placed two fingers on his lips and halted his motions, explaining, "Well hold on, I'm certainly not going to try it now, not until your tail has healed. Do you really want new legs and your first thought is how much you hate them because they hurt? Besides, we don't know if it'll disrupt the healing process or not, and I don't think it's worth the risk."

Levi blinked at him, stunned for a moment, before he crossed his arms, pouting. Eren snorted, reaching out to thumb his bottom lip, saying, "Oh my goodness, that bottom lip is so far out it's going to need its own area code."

The mermaid halfheartedly nipped at his thumb, which caused Eren to lean forward and land another kiss on his forehead. Levi grumbled a bit, and then leaned up and kissed his cheek, still pouting, but it was melting away slowly. Eren smiled down at him and reached up, tucking Levi's hair behind his ears as he assured him, "Don't worry. By the time I get back from school in a couple of weeks, your wounds should be all healed up by then, and I'll kiss you the moment I walk through those doors, okay you needy little fish?"

Levi bit his lip, suddenly unsure. He realized then just how selfish and demanding he must have sounded, completely forgetting about what a rough time Eren had been having with intimacy up until now. It prompted him to say, _"I mean, only if you want to. I don't want to force you do anything…"_

The boy shook his head, his eyes warm and sincere as he replied, "You won't. I want to do this. It's a long time coming, I think and…yeah, I'm ready, I think. So it'll give you something to look forward to when I come home, yeah?"

Levi pretended to think, tapping his finger on his chin, before he signed with a smirk _, "Oh I suppose so."_

Eren grinned hugely in response, his smile so bright that it nearly blinded Levi and set his heart beating so erratically he had to stop and determine whether or not he was having a stroke on top of the infection. When it appeared that wasn't the case, he decided to remind Eren with a slight cough that would hopefully distract him from how hot his face felt, _"So um, those coping mechanisms?"_

His boy's smile softened, and his eyes grew all warm again in a way that had Levi feeling disgustingly gooey inside. He loved it of course, but he wasn't about to admit that out loud. He had a reputation…kind of.

"Okay," Eren began, "So here's what I did to help me stop self-harming…"

000

After Levi's wound had healed enough, it was time for it to be stitched up. Eren of course resumed his position at Levi's side, holding his hand in a crushing grip when it was time to be placed on the operating table and given more numbing agent in his tail. And luckily, this time, though it was no less terrifying, it went much more smoothly than his last surgery. The stitching was relatively quick, though deeply uncomfortable. But Levi behaved himself, staying as still as he could, squeezing his eyes shut and whining instead of struggling, while Eren shushed him and murmured to him the entire time, shielding the upper half of his body with his own so that he was trapped once more in the warm darkness against his shoulder. To Levi, there was no safer place in the world he could have been.

When Eren left for school, Levi was still terribly uncertain about whether or not he'd be strong enough to follow his advice on how to keep himself from harming himself again. After all, he'd struggled with this for so long…but Eren insisted that this would work, that he believed in Levi, that he knew he'd succeed.

"You're so strong, sweetheart," he'd assured him as Levi snuggled in his arms before he left. "If anyone can overcome this, you can. And if you're having trouble, have my mom call me. I'll pick up, I don't care what time it is. Things are going to be different this time. Just keep the ice with you at all times."

Eren had suggested rubbing ice on the areas where he liked to self-harm, as the burning sensation of the cold was a good substitute for cutting the skin. He had it had helped to get rid of his need to cut, and he hoped that it would be a good crutch for Levi until he returned to his mermaid. So, on the day he'd left, he'd placed a whole big bucket of ice in the recovery pool with Levi, kissed his forehead firmly, and promised him he'd be back in a couple of weeks.

That left Levi to his own devices once more. At first, he had been far too exhausted to even attempt anything; his painkillers had kept him wiped out for the most of the first few days, after all. However, as he began to feel better and gotten both his energy and his appetite back, and especially when they deemed him well enough to place back in his own tank, that was when his skin began to itch with the need to bite it again. In the beginning, all he had to do was take a look at the wound that had made him so sick, the skin still pink and in the process of forming yet another scar on his body. Did he really want to risk going back onto that operating table yet again so soon? For a while, the answer had been no, and he had resisted.

However, he began to break down the longer time went on. It was easier not to think about it during the day when Carla came back to see him, and even brought Mikasa with her on some visits when school finished for her. Being able to bond with them helped make him feel not so trapped, as if he had eyes in the outside world that could tell him what was going on, and describe it in ways where he felt like he was experiencing all of their adventures himself. It was only when he found himself alone, especially at night, when his dark thoughts took hold hard enough that he felt the only way he could get rid of them was to replace them with physical pain. Many a night, he had placed his nails against his flesh, ready to dig them in deeper, only to be stopped by the thought of Eren having to come all the way back and not being able to finish school like he so badly needed to. If that happened again, he knew he'd never forgive himself. He was already having enough trouble doing so for the one time it had happened.

When the urge proved to be too much, he would take the bucket of ice left for him and shove his hand and as much of his forearm as he could into it, holding it there for as long as it took for the urge to pass. It burned like hell and a few times he thought he was going to cry out for how long he'd force himself to keep his arm in that bucket, but this burn was much more preferable to the burn of the scalpel cutting his skin again, or the ache he'd feel in his chest at seeing the disappointment that would surely be in Eren's eyes if he relapsed. So, he gritted his teeth and bore it, determined to greet his boy with unmarked skin and pride in his heart when he came home again.

The morning Eren flew back home was as warm and bright, the early June sunshine seeming to seep right through his skin make him feel giddy. He did a poor job at hiding his excitement at being home once more, allowing it to radiate from him with his every action. His steps were lighter off the plane, his smile bigger on his face out of the runway and into his father's waiting car, and his heart beating faster the entire drive home, and even when he hopped into his own car in his own driveway and sped off towards the aquarium.

When he caught sight of Levi's tank, for some reason, it seemed different than all the other times he had looked at it. It was as if he was on the precipice of something, something far too grand for him to wrap his head around. He was reminded of the time he had first seen Levi in his tank, how his heart had simply forgotten how to beat and he was incapable of any thoughts outside of how in awe he had been. But as he ascended the familiar steps, he had no idea what it meant, just that every step he took seemed to be in slow motion, and yet he was hyper-attuned to everything happening around him; the rustle of the trees in the distance, the hum of the filter, the rust on the railing, and the subtle splash of water up ahead that told him he was eagerly expected.

And when he saw Levi waiting for him on the rocks, skin perfectly pale and clean of any new wounds, his hair shining its lovely blues, greens and violets under the late spring sun, and his dark eyes shimmering with absolute elation, he knew why this feeling had come to him.

He was about to change Levi's life, one way or the other. The same way Levi had changed his.

When they embraced, it wasn't with the same delirious desperation that they had before. They were happy yes, very much so, to be together again, but it appeared Levi had changed in more ways than one with Eren's absence this trip. Now that he had uncovered the reason for his fear when Eren left, it had become easier to deal with, and therefore left room for Levi to begin to find confidence in himself, which translated to a greater sense of independence.

"I'm so proud of you," Eren said over his shoulder, before he pulled back, keeping his hands on Levi's shoulders.

" _And I'm proud of you,"_ Levi replied with a huge grin. _"You did such a good job."_

"Because of you. The whole department really enjoyed my final thesis on mermaids. Said they'd be there for me if I needed any help landing a position in the field."

" _Eren, that's wonderful!"_

His boy smiled at him gently. "It is. And it's all thanks to you. But…I think you struggled far harder than I did, in some areas." He stroked Levi's chin with his thumb. "I think you deserve a reward for that."

The mermaid blushed heavily at the implication, and he averted his eyes shyly. _"Only if you want, Eren, I don't want to"-_

"For the last time, you're not." Eren placed a hand on his cheek and turned his face back towards his. "I want to do this, I promise."

With those words, their hearts began to pound so hard and so loud they were certain the other could hear it, and they could hear the blood roaring in their ears. Eren fiddled with the edge of his shirt, too embarrassed to look Levi in the face, his cheeks and the tips of his ears dusted pink. He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, before saying lowly, "Levi, listen. Even if nothing happens, I want you to know that it doesn't change anything."

He looked up, took a deep breath, and cupped Levi's face with his large, warm hands. The mermaid's gaze was transfixed on his, eyes dark and liquid as a doe's, and his whole body just as on edge as one. Eren continued, "I love you. Heh, it feels really good to say that, finally. I do though. Holy fucking shit, I love you so much, Levi. And no matter what, I'll always be thankful for you, for saving me in every way I could have been saved, and for changing my life forever, in more ways than one."

Levi wanted to reply so badly to such beautiful words, but unfortunately, his body wouldn't let him form the words. Instead, it made his hands shake to the point that he had to grab Eren's wrists for support and squeeze them, and made his eyes overflow with tears to the point that his boy blurred in front of him. Eren made a concerned, clucking noise, laughing slightly at Levi's happy tears, and wiped them away until they stopped while his mermaid laughed in return, that funny metallic laugh that Eren cherished so much. He then leaned forward and briefly nuzzled under his boy's chin, purring, telling him without words that he shared the sentiment wholeheartedly.

When he leaned back, they gazed into each other's eyes, Levi getting the last of his sniffles out, still grinning nervously. Eren took a deep breath, and decided it was now or never. Still, he was hesitant. What would he do if he couldn't change Levi? What if he was stuck in this tank forever? Well, only one way to find out. And even if that was the case, they'd find a way. They'd always find a way. Now that he was home, he was never leaving his mermaid again.

He leaned forward a little more, stopping halfway, having to take another breath to calm the butterflies raging in his stomach. Levi leaned a little bit forward as well, a patient smile on his face that made his eyes seem even softer, brighter. Eren glanced down between their bodies, staring at Levi's webbed hands, which were sitting on his knees, and then back up into those lovely eyes, close enough to see the deep blue shimmer behind the dark gray. And then, finally, finally, as a final insult to his abuser and all the hell he had put him through, he let his eyes flutter shut, and leaned forward the rest of the way until his lips met Levi's in the softest and most delicate of kisses.

It was just a brushing of lips, a whisper of breath, and then Eren pulled away, his eyes still shut as he sat there, frozen, taking in what had just happened. Levi's breath quickened, and he tightened his hands into fists, both of them poised on the brink.

And then Eren surged forward, capturing Levi's lips once more.

_Elation. Ecstasy._

The mermaid gasped, taken aback by the confidence and passion compared to the first shy kiss, but quickly melted into it. Eren hand moved his hands from his face to around his waist, holding him close against his body while his lips moved eagerly against the mermaid's, built up desire from the past year finally pouring forth. He seemed to kiss Levi with his whole body, sitting up straighter, pulling him as close as possible until he could feel every breath Eren took. Levi reached up, wrapping his arms around Eren's neck and the cupping the back of his head with one hand, kissing back just as eagerly. He was shivering, and yet an inferno raged in his core. He wanted to cry all over again, at what he didn't know. Everything. Nothing. His mind raced, and then went blissfully blank when he dug his long nails into his boy's hair. Their chests pressed together, hearts beating against each other. Eren made a little sound in his throat when he felt Levi's tongue venture into his mouth and touch his own carefully, as if the mermaid was testing the waters. Eren responded by rubbing his tongue against his more heavily, and Levi sucked in a breath at the sensation. And through it all, one single thought emerged.

They were both free.

Eren reluctantly pulled away, nipping at Levi's lower lip as he did so. The both of them were panting and grinning like absolute fools. Their faces remained close, each of them laughing breathlessly, unable to break contact with each other completely. Levi pecked Eren's lips again, still not over the sensation. He felt as though his whole face was tingling, and it was as amazing as it was foreign.

"Yeah?" Eren breathed, "I'm that good, huh?"

Levi couldn't help it. He laughed even louder, leaning his forehead against Eren's, elated beyond belief.

In fact, he was so elated that he didn't notice the tingle in his abdomen that had formed when they first began their kiss was growing worse and worse.

Levi was suddenly pulling out their embrace and folding forward, clutching his stomach and yelping. It took Eren a moment to respond, his brain trying to catch up and wondering how they had gone from kissing to Levi doubled over and curled up on the rocks, writing in pain. But when he did, his heart began to race, panic overtaking him, unable to handle the agony written on his mermaid's face. However, that panic was replaced very rapidly and very forcefully by utter astonishment when he saw that, no, he wasn't imagining things. There was indeed an odd flicker spreading across Levi's skin, as if the mermaid was being lit from within, starting from his stomach and stretching outwards. It was a shimmering glow that reminded Eren of the sun reflecting off of the water. But Levi was still crying out shrilly, reminiscent of the way he had on the operating table, and Eren did the same thing he did then, covering his upper body with his own. Cocooned in the warm darkness reassured Levi all over again that whatever was happening, whatever pain he was going through, Eren wasn't going anywhere, and was going to help him fight it.

Through his cries, Eren shushed and kissed any skin he could reach, telling him how brave he was, how proud Kuchel would be of him if she could see him now. And Levi knew he was right. He had done just what his mother had asked; he had smiled and sung for this boy, and now he was his, and they were free together. This pain was just a pinprick in the grand scheme of things. It was Eren's presence and that thought alone that kept him from passing out from the feeling of his insides and outsides twisting and mangling themselves, feeling as if they were trying to switch places.

When the pain finally faded, Levi was left shaking and sweating, his stomach threatening to rebel. But once he felt he was steady enough, he felt Eren get off of him, checking his face to see if he was alright. And when he did, he saw the boy's eyes get so wide they almost popped out of his skull.

He watched as Eren's gaze travelled down the length of his body, and he followed where they looked. It was only when he did so that he found himself gasping with a shock so powerful that he, for a few moments, forgot how to breathe.

He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised, and yet, if he wasn't already laying down in Eren's lap, he would have collapsed.

He stared and stared, but they didn't disappear. Even when he reached out and tentatively touched them, they didn't vanish. They didn't melt away like snow, but instead were real and solid, solid bone and muscle and flesh. It was silly, but he couldn't get over how much his legs resembled Eren's, and yet didn't. They were uniquely his; thighs thick, calves strong, and when he contracted his muscles in them, they twitched. He bent his knees, and then flexed his ankles, before curling his toes, astonished. It was then when he pulled his hand back that he saw that the webbing was gone, and his nails had shortened. The blue-green tint had also vanished from his skin, and instead it was completely pale, only rosy in some areas where the blood was closer to the surface of his skin, as well as no longer tight and dry feeling with the lack of water. His lungs didn't gasp automatically as he instinctively held his breath, but instead came easier, more regularly. He glanced up into Eren's eyes, and saw his own wonder reflected in them.

There were no words that describe what Levi felt right then, but he felt he still had to try. Levi started to sign to him, but halted. If he was human now, that meant…

He cleared his throat, and exhaled unsurely. This couldn't be that difficult, right? He knew the words, he just had to make his tongue form them. He felt the vibrations in his throat, but his vocal chords were so new, so different. Unused. Still, he wanted to do this, had to. He parted his lips, throat working, but the sound that came out of them was faint and raspy. Eren's eyes grew wide when he realized what Levi was trying to do, and waited patiently, unable to believe what he was seeing. He tried a few more times, until the hoarse rasp cleared from his voice, and his brand new vocal chords warmed up.

"I…I- mmm, I love you. Too. Eren."

His voice was deep, clear, and smooth, so blissfully wonderful to Eren's ears, and he knew he'd remember Levi's first words to him for the rest of his life. He instantly burst into tears, and leaned over him again, pulling him close, while Levi embraced back, laughing softly. A real, human laugh, caressing Eren's ears, and it just made the boy cry harder.

When he finally pulled back, they stared into each other's eyes for a moment, and Eren felt himself leaning down to pull him into another kiss. However, he stopped abruptly, gaze drawn down Levi's body, and he saw his boy's face color harshly, before he looked away and cleared his throat.

"What?" Levi murmured. His gaze flicked down his own body, and then back to Eren's face. "Is my new body not pleasing to you?"

Eren laughed nervously. "No no, it is. That's um, that's the problem. It's making me fee- you know what, never mind. Uh, here, you should take this for now."

He swiftly pulled off his shirt before draping it over Levi's hips, covering his lap as best he could. Levi blinked up at him in confusion.

"I'll get you a towel later. Okay?" Eren's face was still the deepest red Levi had ever seen, and if he wasn't mistaken, his eyes were the tiniest bit dilated. Eren exhaled, his cheeks puffing out as he tried to get a hold of himself, and then he froze, and groaned. "Oh no."

"What?" Levi asked, sitting up a bit. "What's the matter?"

"I just remembered. Hanji. She's going to have a fucking field day with this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is wondering, it took 175, 497 words for these two shits to kiss xD But here it is, finally! Hope you guys enjoyed, just the epilogue now!


	30. Epilogue: Travel With Great Élan

**One Year Later**

"Armin, will you calm down? That happened almost a whole forty-eight hours ago."

"I don't care if it happened forty-eight _years_ ago, it was the funniest fucking thing I've ever witnessed in my life. A mermaid slapped you with an octopus. I don't think you understand how many years were added onto my life as a result of witnessing that. My only regret is that I didn't get my camera out in time."

"Yeah? It's a good thing you didn't or I would have been forced to post that picture I snuck of you sword-fighting with our bait fish with Hanji. Hell, my fingers might slip and I might post it anyway if you keep coming at me with that attitude. Oooh, how about I send it to Mikasa, I think she'd"-

"EREN!"

That shout and subsequent dive for Eren's phone from the smaller blond boy made a few people in the airport turn their heads towards them to stare. Eren held it just out of Armin's reach as the other boy scrabbled for it, reaching across Eren's body as best he could.

"Oh don't get your dick in a knot, I'm not really going to send it to her," he insisted. Armin relaxed a bit at that, but stiffened again when he could have sworn he heard his friend mumble under his breath, "when you're around." But he let it go with an eye roll so hard it hurt Eren to look at it. After nearly a month in California, Armin was beyond done with Eren's nonsense, and Eren didn't blame him one bit.

The trip there though had certainly been interesting. It was Eren's third assignment in California, Armin's first, and his first assignment working with Eren. The two of them had been called in to observe the migrating whales down the coast, wondering if there would be mermaids among them. Since the two of them were the closest things to experts the field had, they were asked if they would like to observe. Sadly, the last few times, Eren hadn't seen any mermaids, and therefore he had little hope that they would this time either. Luckily, he and Armin and the rest of the crew on board had gotten the shock of a lifetime when, not only did they see a small pod of mermaids travelling with the whales, but some of them had been brave enough to approach the boat. Eren had given them a few fish, hoping to show that they meant no harm, and it was taken gladly, the mermaids' eyes shining in wonder up at him, perhaps curious as how land creatures had gotten so many fish so easily.

Unfortunately not all of the mermaids were so grateful. One of the pups, looking to be about nine to twelve years old, had copped an attitude when Eren offered her a fish as well, perhaps not liking the flavor of the species he had in his hand, and was promptly slapped across the face with the dead octopus she was already holding.

Luckily, the rest of the trip went smoothly; so much good data had been collected. Their calls were recorded, their physical condition was assessed by mermaids that were willing to allow themselves to be weighed (for a few extra fish of course). And after analyzing all of the information, it appeared that the pod was in good health, and from what Eren heard on the recording, in high spirits, excitedly chattering back and forth, telling stories, as well as mothers scolding or playing with their pups. It lifted his heart to hear, and he had been floating on a cloud ever since then.

Even more so when he thought about how Levi would react when he told him about his trip.

He and Armin barely had time to get their bags before Eren's phone was buzzing with a text.

"Sweet deal, Mikasa is waiting for us out front," he said, before putting it in his pocket.

Armin's eyes got so wide that they nearly popped out of his head, and he dropped his bag's handle so that the whole thing clattered onto the tile floor. "Wait, what!? You never said she was picking us up?"

Eren smirked at him. "You're welcome."

"You monster, oh my God, I'm covered in airplane germs and am running on like four hours of sleep in as many days, why would you?"

"Why _wouldn't_ I? You know she won't care."

" _I_ do!"

Eren pretended he couldn't hear him as he took long strides towards the car, spotting Mikasa in the driver's seat. When she saw him emerge from the building, she got out of the car and walked around, embracing him when she was close enough. He hugged her back with one arm, the other still holding onto his bag.

"Eren you fucking still stink like mackerel," she said, still holding him.

He snorted a laugh, pulling back from her arms. "Sorry. No shower in the world gets the smell completely off. Armin smells worse."

"I do not!" came the indignant reply behind him. The smaller boy bypassed them, glancing up at Mikasa through his eyelashes with a blush, before he skittered around behind the car and threw his bag in the trunk.

"Well, as much as I missed you, we better get moving bef"- Eren began, before Mikasa cut him off.

"Yeah yeah, before Levi gets out of work, you're his ride home tonight, you don't want to be late so you can get some dick after going without it for a month."

He gave her a pointed look, narrowing his eyes playfully as he walked around the back of the car to throw his bag alongside Armin's. "Listen, Levi has a really pretty dick. He says the same thing about me too, if you're wondering."

"No, I wasn't," she grumbled, getting into the car, "I prefer to pretend that my friends don't have genitals, thank you very much."

As he closed the trunk, and walked around to the front of the car, he could have sworn he heard Armin mumble to himself morosely, "All of them?"

Eren snickered, before promptly sliding into the back seat of the car, leaving the seat beside Mikasa wide open for his friend. Armin froze for a moment when he realized what he had done, giving him a dirty look. Eren tried so hard not to burst out laughing, but failed, covering it up with a cough as Armin hesitantly slid into the passenger's seat. Introducing Armin to Mikasa during their graduation was worth everything leading up to this moment. Ever since then he'd been smitten, not so subtly asking Eren what she was up to every time he got a text from her. When Eren realized what was going on, he had decided, yeah, alright, Armin wasn't a bad match for his friend, and fanned the flames by showing him pictures that Mikasa would send him, as well as telling her a bit about Armin, sending her pictures that he snuck of his roommate. From her texts, it seemed that the interest might be reciprocated.

When Mikasa pulled away from the curb, they were silent for a few moments. Eren was forced to hold his laughter down some more as he observed Armin opening his mouth several times before closing it, clearly trying to think of something witty to say. Deciding to show him mercy for a moment, Eren said, "So Mikasa, I hear this time it's you who has a tattoo that we need to see?"

"Oh! Yeah, look," she replied, pushing pulling her hair out of the way to reveal a few bubbles and a conch shell behind her ear. "Get it? Listening to the ocean?"

Armin added nervously, "O-Oh, yeah! I like it, very cool." If it were anyone else, Eren knew he would have gone on a ten minute rant about how you really can't hear the ocean when you put a conch shell up to your ear; it's just the blood rushing in your ears that you hear, and that it's dangerous to do so in case a hermit crab is living in the shell, or worse, a cone snail.

Yet, just that small compliment made Mikasa smile in a way that Eren had never seen before and…were her cheeks turning pink? He wouldn't have believed it if he didn't see it for himself. But they went silent again after that for a moment with nothing but the sound of other cars rushing by as the only sound.

"So, um, you like…clouds?" Armin said pitifully after a bit.

"They're fluffy, yeah," Mikasa replied.

"Oh." More silence. Then, "How about uh"-

"Oh for fuck's sake, just ask her out," Eren exclaimed in the back, throwing up his hands.

His roommate nearly slammed his head through the roof of the car in surprise at those words, yet, shockingly, Mikasa had almost no reaction except to blush harder. When they stayed quiet again, Eren rolled his eyes to the heavens and continued, "Okay, fine, let me make this easier. Mikasa, are you attracted to Armin and would like to go out with him?"

She saw her lower her eyes slightly in the rearview mirror as she answered, "…yes."

"Armin, we all know you're attracted to Mikasa and would like to go out with her, yes?"

"Y-um, I mean, well"-

"Yes. So Mikasa, what time for dinner works for you?"

She brushed her hair back out of her face, still flustered. "I'm free at five on Friday."

"Five on Friday work for you, Armin?" Eren asked.

"S-Sure. Wait, wh"-

"There you go, you have a date. You're welcome."

There was another bout of uncomfortable silence in which Mikasa and Armin relished the fact that they now had exciting plans for Friday night, before Armin piped up, "Wait, what just happened?"

000

An hour later, after he had bid his two friends goodbye and promised to text them later when he and Levi were settled in (not to mention once more wishing them congratulations again on their date with waggling eyebrows and a instructions to use protection before slamming the car door shut on Mikasa and Armin's shocked faces), he was on the road once more, this time making the drive to Levi's work place.

Oh, it had certainly been an interesting year since Levi had become human. Of course Moblit and Hanji had heard the commotion of Levi's cries of pain and come up to investigate, and instead of finding a plausible explanation they instead found Eren with a lap full of a naked young man who looked familiar and yet didn't. But then he had met their eyes, and they knew. And Hanji had exploded into a full on, euphoric, rabid fit, practically foaming at the mouth and rushing over to Levi, congratulating him while also in the same breath asking him to go over every detail of the experience, poor Moblit trying to curb her enthusiasm by pulling her back, begging her to let Levi breathe. After that, Eren still remembered clear as day helping him get onto his feet for the first time in that tank, towel luckily wrapped firmly around his waist, as he first got his legs used to bear his weight, before he and Moblit were letting him lean heavily on them while they carefully practiced walking. Levi had tottered about like a newborn foal at first, but within the space of fifteen minutes, he was walking like he had done it his whole life, beaming with pride when he got the hang of it. He found out later Hanji had recorded the whole thing, and of course not so subtly demanded she send him the video.

Later on, it had certainly been interesting explaining this to the heads of the aquarium, that was for sure. Interesting, but not too complex or difficult. Luckily, they had released Levi relatively quickly and easily, to everyone's shock. But their logic was that since he was no longer technically a mermaid, they couldn't keep him at the aquarium anymore. But if they were needed to say, explain Levi's situation to anyone he might encounter in his life, they told Hanji, Moblit, Eren and Levi that they were only a phone call away, and would be happy to support them however they could.

After that, it had simply been a matter of getting Levi used to life on land. Levi had gone to live with Eren and his parents, who had welcomed him with open arms, almost immediately accepting him as part of the family. But they knew they couldn't just send Levi out into the world. So Eren, before he could accept any assignments to field locations, took a couple of months off to just teach Levi what he could about living with humans. He took Levi out into the world, explaining things as they went. It had started with a shopping trip to find Levi some clothes, as Eren's oversized ones had him tripping over himself most of the time. It had progressed over the months from explaining their customs, to the boring stuff like taxes, to even giving him rudimentary driving lessons. Those had certainly been interesting, to say the least. It was harder to say who had been more frightened during the experience. Eren, most likely, since Levi still asked for lessons.

In these past months, Eren kept a close eye on Levi, not just because he was worried about him, but also for his own scientific curiosity's sake. He often shared his findings with Hanji and Moblit, finding that they of course were just as curious as he was. And Eren found that Levi was adapting quite well to human life, and did so more quickly than anyone most likely expected him to do. Levi explained that this might be the case because in all honestly, living among humans wasn't that much different than living with a pod. Except, here the humans treated him as one of their own, and didn't reject him because of his gender. That was one of the things that made Levi the most happy, the fact that there were just as many male as there were female humans all around him, and that he didn't stand out anymore in a crowd.

But Eren had a slightly different theory. It was a little far-fetched, and sounded more like wishful thinking than a solid hypothesis, but he still held faith in it. He told Levi he'd share it with him later when he came to pick him up from his job.

It was kind of silly, and of course Eren felt ridiculous for thinking it now, but he had never imagined Levi ever being able to work. Maybe he just felt he'd never be ready, but deep down, perhaps he was afraid of Levi getting hurt by some of the cruel humans in the world once more; after all, he still shied away from humans he came across that looked like Nile, clinging to Eren instead or growling automatically low in his throat while bearing his teeth. He thought Levi had suffered enough and that he deserved to live out this new life in peace. But there was a fine line between peace and boredom, and it didn't take Levi long to become bored with sitting around the house once he learned everything there was to know about it. Eren felt rather foolish and immediately guilty, thinking he could essentially lock Levi up in another cage and expect him to be content with it. Of course he wanted to explore his newfound freedom to the fullest, and who was Eren to stand in his way? Besides, Eren had told him that people their age generally had jobs and either did or were working to live on their own. And as lovely as Eren's family was, Levi told him one night that secretly, he was hoping someday it would be possible for him and Eren to go off on their own, and was relieved to hear that that's what Eren was working towards. He also liked to tell Eren, "I want to experience everything humans do, the good and the bad." It seemed to be his new motto, one that pushed him forward whether he succeeded at something, or failed at it. It was why he was never discouraged when he found out he was a terrible baker and should never be allowed near anything with an open flame ever again (he and Levi were very lucky they had been able to save his mom's kitchen that day) or that he wasn't cut out for using tools ("Really Levi, who tries to get a nail out of the finger with another nail?") But he was good at helping Eren's mother do housework, he had a huge thirst for learning and constantly bothered Armin for more of his books that he could read, and it turned out he loved windsurfing just as much as Eren and Mikasa, accompanying them on nice days when he had the time. And while they were out experiencing all of these things, Levi was secretly keeping his eyes for a job based on what he found the most interesting.

It shouldn't have surprised Eren, but it still fascinated him that many of Levi's traits as a mermaid carried over into his human life. No, his hair no longer shimmered in the sun its many different colors, but he still sang beautifully. He no longer had the ability to purr, but he was still an excellent swimmer, once he learned how to coordinate all of his limbs into doing so. He was even learning how to be a trained free diver alongside Eren. Sadly though, his ability to learn languages easily seemed to be fading over time as they discovered his brain began to prune connections that it didn't need for certain languages. However, what really surprised everyone was Levi's biggest talent in his human life, and that was having a good eye for shiny things, more specifically, precious and semi-precious stones. In fact, that was what had gotten him his job. Eren had taken him to the shop where he had bought all the gemstones for the bouquet he had given him, a small place in a more rural part of town where half of the house was converted into the showroom for the gems. Levi had fallen in love, gushing over every little rock and crystal, and yapping the store owners' ears off. After a few more trips, and after hearing about his former life as a mermaid, they figured they might be able to use someone like him on their digs, someone with an eye for the best gems, and they had offered Levi a position. He had giddily accepted, and had been working there for the past six months.

The moment Eren caught sight of the long, sloping driveway that led to the shop, butterflies filled his stomach, and a stupid grin ate up his face that didn't disappear even when he pulled in and parked. He checked his phone for the time and it looked like he was a little bit early, but he didn't think Levi would mind. He got out of the car, barely resisting the urge to jog up to the front door, before opening it, setting off the jingling bells that were right above his head.

Glancing around the store, Eren felt joy all over again that Levi had been hired here. Sure, it meant that their jobs often kept them apart with his boyfriend on digs and Eren out at sea, but it made them treasure their time together that much more. And this store was so cute and small with manageable hours that didn't seem to tire Levi out too much and kind owners that really seemed to appreciate Levi and his talents, as well as were very understanding of his situation. In fact, Levi loved it so much that he often expressed to Eren that he would love to have something like this of his own someday, a little house where part of it could be converted into a showroom for gemstones. When he saw how happy the idea made Levi, how his eyes had sparkled and the color had gone high in his cheeks, he found that he couldn't say anything but that the idea sounded wonderful.

After closing the door behind him, Eren wandered further into the store, careful of the rocks surrounding him on the floor. It was only when he got past the entrance and entered into the main showroom that he saw Levi, doing some last minute sweeping of the floor while the store owners finished counting down the cash register. Eren's huge smile grew soft and fond as he observed Lev in his element, surrounded by the pretty gemstones he had always loved. His tail and pointed ears were gone, but the same spark was still present in his eyes. In fact, that spark had begun to blaze a little more every day, brighter and brighter, transforming him slowly but surely from the anxious, depressed, angry little creature Eren had met so long ago at the Sina Aquarium into the confident human who stood straight and tall (well, perhaps not tall. Levi sadly hadn't gained any additional height from receiving legs) and excitedly looked forward to each new day.

"Hello there!" he heard Levi say without looking up, "I'm really sorry, but we're actually in the middle of closing up."

"Oh I know," Eren replied teasingly, "That's what I was hoping for."

At the sound of his voice, Levi's head shot up. He blinked a couple of times, as if unsure that what he was seeing was real, and then he quickly set the broom against the counter, trotted across the floor, before reaching up and throwing his arms around Eren's neck, dragging the taller boy down in the process. He squeezed him so hard Eren was sure he heard his neck crack, but it was nothing he wasn't long used to already when it came to his boyfriend, and he hugged him back just as tightly around the middle.

"About time you got your ass here," Levi grumbled, but Eren could hear the teasing undertone to it, "I thought you'd left me to wither away without ever seeing your pretty face again."

"Awww, baby I missed you too," his boyfriend replied affectionately. "I feel like I know what soldiers go through now. Leaving my poor pregnant wife overseas while I go fight cranky prepubescent mermaid pups."

"And I have to leave my pregnant wife to go fight rocks and dirt. It's brutal, Eren."

Eren snickered, and opened his mouth to offer another teasing remark. However, at that moment, he happened to flick his eyes upward and see that Levi's bosses were still standing behind the cash register and had paused in counting their money to watch the couple. Eren cleared his throat and quickly let go, apologizing, "Sorry, sorry I know his shift isn't over yet."

"It's fine," one of the owner's said a kind smile. "All Levi's been talking about all week is how you're coming home and you're going off on your vacation, and oh how he's missed you so much he could die"-

"I did not say that," Levi muttered, blushing.

The other owner chuckled, "You did, Levi."

He pouted, but forced himself to stop long enough to reach up and kiss Eren's cheek before picking up his broom again. When they saw him do this, one of the owners waved him off and said, "No, no, it's alright. You can leave a couple minutes early tonight."

Levi looked up at her and with awe all over his face, as if he had just been given the greatest gift in the world. "Really? You mean it?"

"Yes, now go on. Even though you've been so excited this week you've still done a good job as always. Have a good couple of weeks off!"

Levi thanked them profusely, promising to show up bright and early again two Mondays from now and work extra hard, before he clocked out and practically pushed Eren out the door in his enthusiasm. They didn't even make it halfway to the car before he was giggling like a fiend, scooting in front of Eren, and pulling him down for a euphoric kiss. The taller boy flailed for a moment, before he processed what was happening and squeezed Levi back, laughing through the kiss at his boyfriend's enthusiasm. He squeaked in surprise when Levi pulled out of the kiss and picked him up, lifting him a few inches off the ground. Eren braced himself by putting his hands on Levi's shoulders, laughing deliriously.

"I missed you so damn much," Levi breathed, before he slowly put him down. He could see the worry flashing in Eren's eyes, and he quickly shook his head. "I missed you, but I wasn't desperate to see you again. It's okay, Eren. It's not like when I was living at the aquarium. There's a lot more to keep my mind busy so it's not obsessing over how trapped I am or how there's nothing for me to do. It's all good."

The taller boy smiled hugely. "I'm so proud of you," he said, and took Levi's face in his hands, before kissing him again, a soft peck that left the former mermaid grinning just as hugely. He thumbed his boyfriend's earlobes, which were now each sporting one tiny aquamarine stud. "Still love these, by the way."

"You just like that we match now," Levi replied with a grin.

Eren just laughed and kissed him again in answer, dipping Levi as low as he could.

Soon after, tahey walked hand in hand towards the car, only separating to get in, before slamming the doors behind them.

Once they were both in the car, Eren asked in a snooty accent, "Where to, sir?"

Levi laughed, playing along, "Well I hear the beach is lovely in June."

"Then the beach it is," Eren declared, pulling out of the driveway. As they pulled onto the road, he said, "Thanks for packing your stuff beforehand and putting your bags in the car. This is nice, now we don't have to go back to the house for your stuff and we can just go straight to my parents' beach house."

Levi practically wiggled in his seat, too excited to contain himself. He and Eren had been planning this trip for months now, deciding they needed a little time to relax and spend time together since now they barely had time to. So, they were more excited for this than words could say. Like the sap he was, he placed his hand on the console, palm up, and automatically, Eren reached over to take it, laying it over Levi's, utterly engulfing his smaller hand in his own large one.

The two of them chattered the entire way to the beach, holding Eren's hand for the whole ride. His incessant chatter was born from his excitement, from being able to hold his boyfriend's hand again, to where they were going, to just be able to see him again and take a break from this new busy life. He could tell the other boy was excited too, but as they got closer and closer to the beach, he seemed to be fading a bit, growing not as animated and yawning enough that Levi began to notice and grow concerned.

"Are you okay?" he wondered, seeing Eren yawn the fifth time in as many minutes.

"I'll live," he joked. "I thought I was going to be okay, but I think it's just all the hours of sleep I missed while on that boat catching up with me. It sat down in the car and they hit me like a freight train."

Levi squeezed his hand, deflating just the tiniest bit, but shaking himself out of his disappointment, offering kindly, "Then when we get to the beach, how about you go in and shower, I can make us something simple, and then you can just go to bed? I might stay up for a few hours more, but yeah."

Eren rubbed his thumb over his knuckles. "That's fine." His smile dropped for a moment as he sad regretfully, "I'm sorry, I know you were looking forward to us having sex tonight."

The smaller man waved him off. "Oh Eren, stop it. Yes, I was excited, but it'll be no fun for either of us if you fall asleep halfway through it. So sleep tonight. We have two weeks to be complete horndogs."

He snickered at him, grateful for his understanding. Luckily, soon after that, the beach house came into view, and before they knew it, they were parked in front of it. Levi hopped out before the car was even fully parked, trotting around to the trunk and trying to open it.

"Easy you goof," Eren scolded him teasingly. "We don't need you losing any fingers or feet."

So excited was he that when the trunk was opened, Levi took all of the bags, draping them over his body or pulling them behind him quick as a flash and walking briskly up the path towards the front door through all the sand before Eren could stop him. He sighed and shook his head fondly, taking the one small bag left behind and closing the trunk before following him. Levi was too good to him; he had retained a lot of his freakish strength that he had as a mermaid, and often used it to help Eren out in any way he could.

As the evening wore on, and Eren saw that, without being prompted, Levi laid out their bags and took out Eren's shower things for him before setting them in the bathroom, and even started up the hot water in the tub for him. He knew right then that he was going to have to make it up to Levi big time tomorrow. The idea was only reinforced when he came out of the shower and saw that his boyfriend was nearly done with a couple of egg salad sandwiches. Levi's of course had some tuna on it, and was accompanied by a cut of hot tea, even in this weather. His love for tea had only grown in his new life, especially now that he had constant easy access to it.

They ate in mostly silence, Eren too exhausted to keep up intelligent conversation for long. He did manage to tell Levi some of his highlights of his trip, like the bit with the octopus and how one whale almost capsized their boat by swimming right underneath it and coming up for air next to them, but some of the details were so slurred that Levi could barely make them out. When Eren's head began to nod, he decided enough was enough and he was cleaning up the table before shooing the other boy to the bathroom to brush his teeth, telling him he'd be there with him in a bit. As he washed some dishes, Levi rolled his eyes when he heard a few bumps and bangs in the bathroom, wondering how Eren had let himself get so tired, as usual. He had probably been too excited to sleep most nights, staying up late analyzing those calls he recorded. His zeal was admirable, though sometimes Levi wished he had cell phone service out there in the field so he could text him and remind him to go to bed at night.

By the time he finished cleaning up and went into the bedroom Eren had claimed as his own in this house, he saw that his boy was already passed out, still laying on top of the blankets. Levi snorted. Of course he was, the savage. Not that it was terribly cold at night right now, but he still might appreciate a light blanket. He pulled one out of the closet, laying it over the top of Eren carefully, before kissing his forehead.

Seeing him laying there like that, so peaceful, and finally within Levi's reach after being so far away for so long, took away his desire to do anything but curl up next to him and lay there. No, he no longer missed Eren with the same desperation he used to, but just as anyone misses their lover when they're gone for so long. This was a huge improvement, one he never thought he'd achieve.

However, hearing Eren's soft, even breathing was also beginning to make him feel sleepy as he stood there, and thought it might be wise to join him in bed before he started nodding off where he stood. So, after a shower and brushing his teeth, Levi crawled into bed next to Eren with a book, figuring he wasn't tired enough to fall asleep quite yet. Once he was settled in, legs pressed up next to the length of Eren's boy, he placed a hand in his boy's hair, stroking the wet strands absent mindedly. He felt a rush of affection when Eren nuzzled into his hand and hummed contentedly so strong that it almost made his eyes water. With the ocean waves crashing against the shore below them, and the smell of the salty breeze floating in through the window, Levi thought about how truly lucky he was to be here. The fates didn't line up often for people to find their true love, especially for mermaids and humans. The fact that he and Eren had met at all was a one in a million chance, and he thanked the moon spirits as often as he could for bringing them together.

 _Was it worth all the pain though?_ a small voice in his head wanted to know.

Levi shook the thought away and smiled, looking down at how his fingers were buried in Eren's hair, and how content he felt that that moment. Yes, he thought, it was worth all of that, and more.

000

It had taken a while before Eren felt brave enough to have sex with Levi for the first time. In fact, as of their trip to the beach, they had only done it a handful of times. This was partially due to their own nervousness regarding each other's negative experiences with sex. But most of all, Eren was afraid he would hurt Levi like Reiner had hurt him. However, Levi had assured him over and over again that because he was actively paying attention to how he was treating him that he knew he wouldn't hurt him. All the same, he had been worried until that fateful night they had first been intimate together. And that night Levi had learned three things.

One, his new lower half was much, much more sensitive than a regular human's lower half. Just kissing up his legs had made Levi hard and all it had taken was a couple swipes of Eren's tongue at the base of his cock and some gentle words about how he was going to take such good care of him that had the former mermaid coming hard and quickly.

Second, no matter how embarrassed he had been of this fact, Eren hadn't cared one bit. He had patiently told Levi they would work on his endurance as they learned his limits together, even as the mermaid sniffed, fighting back humiliated tears against his shoulder.

And third, Eren was just as gentle of a lover as Levi knew he would be. In fact, he was so gentle and so careful that it was getting to the point that he wished Eren would take more chances. Oh, Levi loved that Eren was so gentle with him, but at the same time, he wanted to experience every pleasure the human body had to offer, and he wanted Eren to show him those pleasures since he was the expert out of the two of them. Even though Levi was still incredibly sensitive, the sensitivity was dying down as he became more used to his new body, and he had told Eren so.

Perhaps this knowledge was what had Eren finally feeling brave enough to wake Levi up the way he did the following morning.

The smaller of the two young men was pulled from a peaceful, deep sleep into a relaxing doze to a deeply pleasurable burning sensation that originated between his legs and traveled all the way up into his belly. At first, he was reluctant to open his eyes; he had an idea of what was happening, but being in this sleepy state while experiencing such intense pleasure was a strange form of relaxation all unto its own. It made his reactions slower, his stretches more languid, and his sighs and groans more unrestrained. As he grew more conscious, it became more and more apparent from the sensations and sounds that Eren was giving him a blow job, a nice, slow, easy one.

Levi sighed deeply, his eyes still closed, and dreamily, he let his knees fall wide apart, and he began undulating his hips. Soft, regular movements, encouraging Eren to take him a little deeper. He heard an amused breath being laughed through Eren's nose, and the other young man laved against the underside of his erection just behind the head slowly, but purposefully. He even scraped his teeth very, _very_ gently against the sensitive head of his boyfriend's cock, creating a zing that made the arousal pooling in Levi's stomach burn that extra bit. Levi's back arched beautifully, and he moaned long and deep and low, a sound and sight that had arousal punching Eren in the gut. He pulled off of Levi for a few moments to catch his breath.

"Jesus, look at you," Eren said hoarsely, "I don't think I've ever seen something so pretty in my life."

Levi whimpered in response; Eren's words of praise always seemed to get to him in a special way he couldn't describe. Perhaps because they were a reminder of Eren's care for him, how he'd never hurt him and would always treat him in that soft, sweet way only his boy knew how.

Eren took a deep breath, taking in Levi's musky, masculine scent, his own cock throbbing in response. For now, he let it hang heavily between his legs, neglected and swollen with need, as he focused on repaying his boyfriend for the night before.

Levi's eyes opened gradually, but the dozy, humid fog remained settled over his brain for a good long time, keeping his inhibitions lowered and allowing Eren to pull gorgeous sounds from his little lover. The boy kept up the delicious heat and suction on the tip of Levi's cock, humming with delight at the opportunity to pleasure him this way. He could wax poetry about Levi in the throes of pleasure for hours; about how his skin had flushed all the way down his chest. How his nipples had grown harder and darker. How his ribs expanding and contracting with his increasingly shortened breaths as a result of Eren's actions was far more erotic than it should be. How the fact that Levi's cock had grown so red from arousal that it was almost purple at this point, and that his sack was heavy on Eren's tongue, heavy and delicate and so very, very warm. He mouthed at it, swiping it a couple of times with his tongue, before going back up to his cock, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked at the tip of Levi's sensitive length. The smaller of the two began to shift around restlessly, throwing his arm over his eyes, his moans coming more rapidly and higher in pitch. He could feel he cock in his mouth begin to spasm the smallest bit, orgasm already tingling at the base, muscles ready to contract and pump his release forward.

However, the moment he felt this, to his great disappointment, Eren stopped. Levi opened his eyes into angry little slits, ready to demand the boy get back to work and finish what he had started so wonderfully. Such a stark contrast to the time Levi had first orgasmed, the sensation so overwhelming that he had felt nauseous for an hour after it first happened, and he was almost sure he never wanted to have another. But as his mind and body got used to the sensation, he found that it wasn't nearly as bad the next few times around, and welcomed each orgasm eagerly.

Before Levi could protest, he heard the by now familiar uncapping of the bottle of lube, and a moment later, felt two cool fingers entering his body, tenderly spreading him open. Levi kept his legs wide, even more so when he felt Eren softly jerking him off with his free hand, trying to pay attention to what he was doing, but also mesmerized by the way the soft, thin skin of Levi's cock glided up and down, up and down, following his hand, working around the heated, hardened core of his shaft.

"Is it okay if I fuck you?" Eren wanted to know. He had only ever been inside Levi once, while the former mermaid had been inside him once in turn as well. Both times were luckily very enjoyable once they found a good rhythm, and Eren was beyond relieved that during the entire thing he hadn't experienced any flashbacks at all; just Levi inside him, or under him, Levi all around him, loving him and reassuring him with his breathy words and calming voice that he was safe, that those bad memories couldn't hurt him as long as he was there.

Levi nodded, blinking almost fully awake. He felt Eren add more fingers, one at a time, stretching him as carefully as he could. He sucked in a breath and let it out with a whimper as he felt Eren curling his fingers until they found that spongy little bundle of nerves that seemed to stimulate Levi's cock from the inside. The pleasure touching that spot created was incredible, a deep, beautiful, all consuming burn that had Levi pushing himself down further onto his fingers, legs spread wide as they would go, cock flushed that deep, angry red as it lay leaking against his belly. With every pass of Eren's fingers against his prostate, every, torturous, circular motion, had Levi giving a breathy moan in response. His pink lips were formed into an 'o' shape, bottom half of his face relaxed while his eyes were squeezed shut. Eren could feel Levi's muscles fluttering around his fingers warningly, contracting and caressing him, once again letting him know that Levi was about to come. However, this time, Eren squeezed Levi around the base of his cock, cutting off the blood flow and halting the orgasm.

Levi almost cried at the delicious and yet horrible burn the denial caused. He gave a few short cries, whimpering with desperation, and Eren shushed him by massaging a thigh, "I know, I know baby. I know you want to come so bad, you poor darling. God, you're so hard, you must be so desperate."

The former mermaid nodded vigorously, before whining his name over and over, begging, "Eren. Eren, Eren, _Eren."_

"Shh, shhh, sweet thing. Give me a moment. Such a good boy, so good, you make such lovely noises and beg so pretty. Give me one second."

But Levi didn't want to wait a second, he wanted Eren to fill him up right at that very moment. The moment he removed his fingers, Levi began to undulate his hips restlessly, whimpering and whining, eyes heavy with unshed tears. God, he was so desperate, his cock burning with the need for release, his head filled with nothing but that desire. That, and Eren; his face, his smell, his voice, his wonderful hands and his perfect kindness. He felt the boy roll him over and manhandle him carefully until he was on his hands and knees. He then felt Eren's slicked length enter into him in one, smooth thrust, Levi sucking in a sharp breath from the action. Once he had adjusted to the intrusion, he backed up against Eren, grinding his plush behind against Eren's hips, signaling without words that he wanted him to move. With a kiss between the shoulder blades, Eren obliged him.

It took them a few, uncoordinated, sloppy thrusts before they found a good rhythm. But once they did, they really got into it, bearing down on the other. Levi squeezed himself around Eren's cock for more friction for the both of them, and Eren began pounding into Levi harder and harder, the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. The boy's head slowly fell back in ecstasy, breathy moans escaping him. Levi was so tight, and the inside of his body so very, very warm that it took his breath away. He gripped the other man's rear, looking down and marveling at the soft cheeks and the way his cock disappeared inside Levi's body time and time again.

It was only when Eren could feel his own orgasm tingling up his shaft that he really began to pound hard, scrunching his eyes shut in pleasure, moaning loudly and without restraint. He bent over Levi's back, reaching around the front of his body and holding a hand firmly against the other's lower stomach, feeling the vague outline of his own cock through Levi's muscles, how he moved in and out, in and out. It only made him let out another moan, before he bore down, thrusts become shallower but more rapidly, leaning further and further over the top of Levi, pushing down his upper half with his own as the pleasure became unbearable.

"Don't stop," was all Levi could cry over and over, "Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop."

Well, Levi certainly didn't have to worry about that. Eren was so desperate, chasing after his own release like it was all he knew how to do, the heady hum of orgasm filing his senses, watching Levi as laid his front half on the mattress, his behind pointed vulnerably in the air and completely at the mercy of Eren's pounding hips while his cheek was squished against the mattress. He cried out until he was hoarse, feeling Eren bite at the back of his shoulder as his warm seed gushed into him at long last, and Levi felt every single stream being pumped into him.

"Please Eren, please, oh please please," he heard himself begging, still hard and aching, cock throbbing so badly that when he wrapped a hand around it, he could feel his pulse beating in one of the veins that wrapped around it. Eren obliged tiredly, panting hard as he jerked Levi hard and fast until he came hard with a cry, spilling over Eren's hand.

The moment his orgasm stopped, Levi surprised the other boy by begging, "More, give me more."

Still panting, Eren regarded him with confusion. "You're sure? It might hurt."

He nodded. "It won't hurt."

Eren was still dubious, especially given his past and the fact that they had never done this kind of thing before. But Levi seemed adamant, so Eren compromised, "Okay, how about this? If it does hurt and you want me to stop, say red. If everything is good and you want me to keep going, say green."

It was the least he could do. Reiner had never given him safe words, after all.

"Yes, that's fine," Levi agree breathlessly, and then added with a wiggle of his rear, " _Please,_ Eren."

Well, his boy could hardly say no to such a pretty sounding request. He braced himself by wrapping one arm around Levi's middle, and continuing to stroke him with the other hand. Within seconds, Levi was crying out helplessly, making hurt sounding noises, but bearing down on Eren's hand.

"You okay?" Eren wanted to know, nuzzling his shoulder.

"Yes!" Levi cried out, relishing the bone deep, savory burn that was now carving its way from between his legs, down his thighs and up his stomach, "Green! Yes, yes, yes, green!"

This was incredible; he felt completely weak and helpless, pinned beneath Eren as he was and still wiped out from his previous orgasm, and the pleasure was far too much for him to the point that it was becoming painful, but he had never felt happier or more alive. It was only when Eren felt a few more pathetic dribbles warming his hand in a second, less powerful orgasm, that Levi asked Eren to stop. And the moment his boy let go and pulled out, he collapsed onto the bed, rear end falling when his legs gave out.

Eren laid down behind him, pulling his yielding body against his chest, before planting a few exhausted kisses against his neck.

"You're so amazing," Levi said airily, whole body still tingling. At that moment, he couldn't have moved even if he'd wanted to; all of his limbs felt like they had been turned to jelly and his head was filled with air.

Eren laughed, "Well thank you, way to boost my self-esteem."

"I mean it, Eren," Levi insisted, "I'm so happy that you're here to teach me all the ways the human body can feel good. And you make me feel so safe and loved while you do it. I can't thank you enough for that."

His boy reeled for a moment at those words, unable to process them. He made him feel safe and loved? He was happy with him? Such simple praise, but to someone like Eren, they meant the world. It really was okay. Levi wasn't afraid of him, craved his touch and trusted him. Eren wasn't like Reiner because Levi felt safe with him, knew Eren would never hurt him. And the more times the boy proved that to himself, the more it would be reinforced.

He buried his nose against Levi's neck, inhaling his pleasantly musky scent, before mumbling against his skin with a voice thick with emotion, "You're welcome, Levi. That means more to me than you'll ever know."

000

Later that afternoon, they had finally managed to migrate away from the bed to the beach, where they swam and played in the sun for as many hours as they dared without risking getting sunburned. For the both of them, for those few hours, it was like the years had disappeared from their bodies, and they were small children again, meeting for the first time at the edge of the dock and playing games in the water. Levi even forgot for a short while that his tail was in fact gone, and several times he made noises that sounded like his old squeaks and clicks when he became especially excited. He was only snapped out of the spell when he found it difficult to make his own vocalizations, or when he tried to twist and turn under water like how he used to and found himself getting dizzy.

It was in fact one of these instances when he found himself getting too overzealous and inhaled a large amount of water, sending him into a colossal coughing fit, that made him stop and get out. Eren led him to the edge of the water, sitting with him and rubbing his back until Levi settled down.

"You think you're okay?" Eren wondered, still rubbing his back.

"Yeah, think the water is gone now," Levi reassured him.

Eren nodded. "Cool. Okay, good. Here, I'm going to grab a quick drink, you want one?"

Levi snorted, "No, I think I've had enough for now, thanks."

His boyfriend smiled in response, though there was a bit of uneasiness behind it that he was trying to mask. He leaned over and kissed Levi's forehead, before getting up and heading up the beach towards their towel where they had left their supplies. That left Levi by the shoreline alone with his thoughts.

He watched for a moment, sitting as close to the water as he was, the waves rise up onto the sane and wash over his feet with a sad fascination. They were really never going to turn back into a tail, were they? No matter how much water washed over them, or what kind…this was it. It had never really sunk in until now. But looking at his feet, and seeing how no matter how much water covered them they were there to stay, made a sense of finality settle into his core that he'd never be able to shake again.

Luckily, he didn't think he ever wanted to.

A moment later, he saw Eren reappear in the corner of his vision as the boy sat down next to him, saying, "I know you said you weren't thirsty, but I brought you one anyway. All that salt in the ocean isn't good for you."

He set the water bottle by the shorter man, but Levi made no move to take it. He wasn't even looking at him, at the moment. Eren raised an eyebrow at him, before he lifted his gaze so that it followed where Levi was looking, and to his surprise, he noticed that his eyes were fixed onto the cliff to their right.

"That's where we first met, isn't it?" Levi pointed out, "Under that cliff?"

Eren answered, "That's the one."

Levi laughed to himself, and then said, "If anyone had told me then that the boy I met under that cliff would turn me into a human someday, I would have thought they would have had shit in their heads instead of brains. But here we are."

"Here we are." Eren echoed.

A few beats of silence passed, before Eren spoke again, haltingly, anxiety crawling up his throat as he did so. "Levi…do you have any regrets?"

He turned to face Eren. "You mean, do I regret becoming human?"

Too ashamed to elaborate, the younger man just lowered his head, averting his eyes to the sand between them. He had secretly been wondering this for so long, but had been too scared to ask. Deep down, he had felt so selfish taking Levi away from his old life and just expecting him to adapt to Eren's world with no problems. He had lost so much, surely he must, on some level, resent him for making him this way? He could never have his old body back, and he'd never be able to find his pod again. Levi had pursed his lips together, going silent, and Eren winced. He knew it, Levi hated him; he had released him from the aquarium but now had trapped him here on land. He had made a huge mistake, and Levi would never forgi-

"No. I don't."

The admission shocked Eren so much and stopped his mental tailspin so abruptly that he froze, unable to form words as white noise filled his mind. He floundered for a moment, before stuttering out denial upon denial, not believing what he had just heard. But Levi placed a hand over his mouth to make him stop talking, before he explained himself.

"Really, Eren, I don't. I've thought about it a lot this past year, and yes, there are some things I miss about being a mermaid. No, I'll never be able to swim like I used to, and my sharp teeth and most of my strength is gone, and I sometimes miss being able to purr to express how happy I am. But when I think about what I've had gained instead, those things seem so astronomically small in comparison. Eren, even if I had stayed a mermaid, and gone out into the ocean to find my old pod, they would have rejected me, if I was lucky. Without my mother to protect me, they would have more likely ganged up on me and killed me.

"But look what I have now that I have this new body. I have a family and friends that love me and accept me. I'm helping to make peoples' days by finding them the perfect gemstones, and I love doing it. I get to look forward to a wonderful future and get to have hopes and dreams now. But most importantly, I have you. I have my true love, and I get to know with certainty that you're my true love. And my true love gave me legs to follow him wherever he goes in life, and a voice to tell him I love him as many times as I wish. And knowing that all of this is mine to keep for the rest of my life…I'll never be able to repay you enough. All I can say is thank you, Eren, for this wonderful new life. Without you, I know one way or the other, I'd probably be dead. And if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change anything. I'd go through all the pain all over again as long as it meant I ended up with you."

Eren brushed Levi's hand away just as his eyes filled with tears at those last words, and before he could stop himself, he surged forward and drew Levi into his arms, squeezing him as hard as he could. He felt Levi hug him back after a minute, stroking up and down his spine comfortingly.

"God Levi," his boy breathed, voice thick with emotion, "I had no idea. I'm so happy that you're so happy. And just so as you know, it's the same for me. If I hadn't met you, it's very possible that I'd still be living in fear of my ex coming after me. Or even if that wouldn't be the case, at the very least, I'd still live thinking that love isn't real because I'd be too scared to love anyone ever again. And now look at us. Look at us Levi, I-I'm…"

He couldn't even finish his sentence, he was so choked up. Levi turned his head and offered a comforting kiss to his temple, cupping the back of his head to hold it in place. After one more tight squeeze, Eren pulled back from the embrace, but reached forward so that he could cup Levi's face in his hands. The mermaid gazed up at him adoringly, and Eren's heart skipped a beat, unable to fathom what he had done to deserve such a look, even Levi had literally just told him.

"Levi, listen," Eren murmured, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs, "I've been thinking, and maybe this is silly…but maybe the reason you had such a hard time as a mermaid was because you were always meant to be human. Maybe that's why you adapted so quickly to life on land. This was always supposed to be the life you were meant to live. The fates just sent me your way to fix the mistake they made."

Something in Levi's core shivered at the implication of Eren's words. It took a moment for them to process, but when they did, he replied, "Even if it's wishful thinking…I like the idea. A lot."

The blinding grin that spread across Eren's face as a result had his heart fluttering like a crazy, and the kiss Eren gave him a moment later had him humming with delight. He dug his fingers in his boy's hair while Eren cupped his jaw, running his thumb along with ears, feeling it work as he kissed him meaningfully.

When they pulled apart, Levi said after a moment, "Eren, there's something I wanted to tell you too."

His boy let his arms fall to his shoulders, squeezing them in a silent bid for him to continue. Levi said quietly, "I've been doing some research trying to translate what I remember of our pod's language into human words. It's a slow process, but it might be doable with enough time."

Eren's whole face lit up and he exclaimed, "That's wonderful, Levi! Oh my God, how cool is that! That would help us so much, you're so amazing!"

Pink dusted across the older man's cheeks. "Well, so far, all I've managed to translate is my old name."

He looked at him with sudden awe. "Your mermaid name?"

"Yes. Before I was Levi, I'm pretty sure my name was Élan."

Eren tilted his head. "Élan?"

Levi nodded. "It's a rough translation, but it's the best I could come up with. I looked it up, and it's the name of a river in France. My mother told me I was born in a river in that country too, and I'll bet that's where my father was from. Perhaps that was her way of honoring him. It would make sense. If mermaids knew the name of the country their pup's father came from, they might give them a name from that country."

"Élan, huh?" Eren brushed a stray lock of hair away from Levi's forehead tenderly. "It's beautiful. Like you."

He rolled his eyes, but nonetheless smiled and blushed at the compliment. "Sap."

"Your sap," Eren insisted, leaning down and kissing the tip of Levi's nose, "Yours forever." He pulled back and looked down off to the side for a moment, before asking, "So, do you want us to call you by that name instead then?"

Immediately, the former mermaid shook his head and answered strongly, "No. I mean, I don't mind if you do, but I'd prefer to keep the name 'Levi.' It's the name you first knew me by, after all, and when you first told me you loved me, that's the name you used. It's the name my human life was given, and I want to keep it as much as I do my legs."

Eren's eyes watered all over again, and he leaned forward, pressing their foreheads against each other, unable to come up with the words for responding to such a beautiful statement. Instead, he breathed in Levi's scent for a moment, still unable to understand how such a precious, wild, and utterly wonderful creature could have been made for him. Well, the good news was, they had the rest of their lives to travel together, learning everything they could about the other, and little by little, year by year Eren would accept that he was worthy of Levi's love and devotion, while Levi did the same for Eren.

Eren shook himself, wiggling like an excited puppy, and said as he backed out of their embrace, "Well, come on! The afternoon is still young, the waves are high, and we have some windsurfing to do. You game?"

Levi answered with a peck to his lips and scrambled to his feet, saying, "Is that even a question?"

Eren laughed at his enthusiasm and took off up the beach, leaving Levi to follow him, feet pounding in the sand and heart soaring on the ocean breeze.

And up in the beach house on the dresser in their bedroom, the boy's old aquamarine pendant lay draped over the top of the first conch shell he had ever received from a scrawny, friendless, mermaid pup fifteen years prior, the two items overlooking the two lovers in the window as they raced into the surf, the sea taking them home once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end folks! I can't believe it's already finished, and what a trip! If you guys are curious, this is the piece of art that inspired this last chapter all the way when I first started this fic: aurieackerman. tumblr post/164331524342/artist-%EC%9C%A0 %EC%95%BC-source-twitter-eryuya-naver.
> 
> I also listened to an odd-ish song for this last chapter that you can find here: www. youtube watch?v=W 1I9K_Lndu0
> 
> For those that want to know, the full "soundtrack" for this fic is as follows:
> 
> Tulou Tagaloa, We Know Who We Are (both the regular and end version) from the Moana soundtrack. I listened to the Moana soundtrack in general to get me in the mood for this fic.
> 
> Élan by Nightwish
> 
> Baptized by Daughtry
> 
> Blue Sky Day by Dwayne Ford
> 
> Try Everything from Zootopia
> 
> La Llorona from Coco
> 
> Let It Go (male Japanese version)
> 
> There are others, but those are the main ones. So yes guys, thanks so much for joining me on this journey! I have more fics planned, so keep a watch for those, one should be coming in the next week or so!


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